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thesassenachswiftie · 4 years

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Chapter 1: “The Man”

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Summary:

Claire's reputation (and life as she knows it) is ruined after breaking up with Frank. She continues to see Jamie in secret but is it too good to last? Based on Taylor Swift's album "Lover" each chapter will tie in to a song and have lyrics woven throughout. I do not own these lyrics, nor do I own any incidental Diana Gabaldon quotes that may also appear throughout.

Notes:

This is the first fic I've written in probably 15 years! Thank you to those of you that have already shown support and encouragement before I've even begun. Earlier this summer I was listening to "Lover" at a time when I was indulging in quite a bit of fanfiction and rewatching Outlander. I couldn't help but imagine Jamie and Claire blisfully in love in New York city while listening to the lyrics. Thus, the idea for this fic was born. Later, when I was listening to Reputation, I realized many of those lyrics could also work for this story. I ended up mapping out chapters for both Reputation and Lover, so there will eventually be a prequel to this story! I will try to give enough exposition in the actual story that you do not need to read Reputation first (especially since you can't because it doesn't exist yet) but may occasionally give some background information in the notes if I can't weave it into the story.

That being said, Claire and Frank had a pretty tumultous break up at the end of Reputation, and Claire went running straight to Jamie's arms. She's still hurting and has a lot of pieces to pick up, as well as figuring out what her priorties are.

Chapter 1 is a short little chapter featuring Claire and her nonbinary best friend, Jo Abernathy (they/them) discussing the situation over coffee. I will be the first to admit I struggle with pronouns in writing. I blame a long history of learning subject/verb agreement that did not include a singular they throughout my schooling. Please forgive me and feel free to point out if I have made a mistake in this area. This fic is a great opprotunity for me to practice and get better.

Chapter 1: The Man

Frank had taken everything from her and reaped none of the consequences. The stack of rejection letters on the counter was staring at her out of the corner of her eye, sprawled on top of a trashy tabloid featuring headlines about some supermodel with Leo in Saint-Tropez. She could feel the letters taunting her. She could feel him taunting her. How was it possible that every residency program in New York had rejected her? She knew Frank was a powerful man, but damn. Frank Randall was not a man you wanted to cross.

Graduation was three days away. Claire should have been celebrating; all her final exams were finished, papers turned in, and there was nothing left to do but reflect on what a waste it all was. She needed a distraction. She considered texting Jamie, but he was probably helping on his family farm--it was almost impossible to get a hold of him on weekdays. She decided to text Jo instead: “coffee?”

“Always. I can meet you in about a half hour”

“See you there”

Jo Abernathy was Claire’s best friend and former roommate. Luckily, they had both ended up living on Long Island. Jo had gotten a job teaching Social Studies there before they even finished their master’s degree and lived in a funky little apartment above a bar in Northport Village. Claire was still “living the suburban dream” in the house her and Frank had bought together--the only thing he hadn’t taken from her. It was a bland, spacious, new build with perfect everything--it was a perfect nightmare is what it was. The walls were still unpainted, stark white, and cold. Most of the rooms weren’t furnished yet and the ones that were were lacking in decor. She wasn’t planning on moving out until she decided on a residency program, but that wasn’t an option anymore and she didn’t know what to do. What did he have to gain keeping her trapped in this prison when he wanted nothing to do with her? What was his end game? Did he really get such a thrill out of torturing her? Fucking sadist. Of course Frank was suffering exactly none of the fallout from the demise of their relationship. If anything, it garnered him sympathy and gave everyone an excuse to see him as human and love him all the more for it. When everyone believes you, what’s that like? She shook her head, questioning how much of this she deserved for what she did. Claire grabbed her keys and headed out to meet Jo.

Jo was already seated with two lattes in front of them when Claire arrived at their favorite coffee shop, The Cozy Teacup. An expert at reading Claire’s glass face, they immediately asked “Ok, who do I need to stab?” upon her arrival.

Claire couldn’t help but smirk at her dearest friend’s overprotective attitude. “I think you already know. I got my last rejection letter today”, her throat catching on the second sentence. She couldn’t continue any further. Luckily, Jo had a tendency to like the sound of their own voice and all but interrupted her.

“Oh Lady Jane, I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve that at all. Urgh, that asshole! That prick! That… man.” Claire was glad the coffee shop was crowded at this lunch hour and no one seemed to notice her friend’s enthusiastic rant. "Why are men? You know, I think this is part of the reason why I’m nonbinary. I mean I don’t fully identify as a woman, but I definitely can’t identify as a man. Men are trash. The goddamn patriarchy. I swear. You know. Frank or not, not one of those school’s would’ve rejected you if you were a man.”

This was exactly what Claire needed from her friend, a pep-talk-slash-rant against the patriarchy. She loved it when Jo got fired up; it was honestly inspiring how they could always live their truth regardless of what everyone else thought. So unlike herself, whose life was constantly dictated by what everyone else thought of her. Jo made a compelling point too-- if I were a man they’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to, and that would be ok--every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss. Jo’s inspiring speech was turning Claire’s sense of dejection into righteous anger directed not only at Frank, but the patriarchy as a whole.

“Yeah! I’m so sick of running as fast as I can wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man!” she declared. Gosh Jo was a good hype-man, hype-person, she mentally corrected herself. She had learned a lot about preferred pronouns in the years of knowing Jo, but she still got tripped up on certain colloquialisms--luckily Jo was always gracious even when she made these mistakes out loud.

“Claire, if you were a man you’d be the man, and as it stands you are the woman, woah, man!”

Claire couldn’t help but giggle at her friend’s manner of speaking. They were always a little much, and usually it was just what Claire needed when she was down. Their knack for pointing to the larger societal issues at play helped her to keep grounded and to realize that she was not at fault. This particular case wasn’t dismissed so easily though; the shame she felt still gnawed at something deep within her. Even if it was the patriarchy’s fault, it was her fault too.

“This is really bothering you, huh LJ?” Claire nodded sheepishly. Damn my glass face. “I’m so sick of him coming at me again.”

“It’s ok to be mad,” Jo affirmed, reaching over to stroke Claire’s forearm in an attempt to bring some comfort. “So, what are we going to do about it? Let’s brainstorm the next move. What is it you really want, Claire?”

Over the next hour and a half, Jo helped Claire untangle what she really wanted: to prove everyone wrong. For everyone to say she’d hustled and put in the work. This was decided amid quips from Jo about how easy it was for men to get these things: “They’re painting you out to be bad--for men it’s all good if you're bad”, “If you were out flashing your dollars you’d be a bitch not a baller.” They determined that Claire would spend the next year padding her resume, not only working her job as a school nurse, but volunteering in hospitals and clinics as well as any other community service projects that came her way. When the time came, she would apply to all the best residency programs in the country. Without Frank tying her down in New York, she could go anywhere. She tried to push out the little voice in her head that kept whispering, ‘What about Jamie?’ as she dreamed about being a strong, independent woman at the top of her game. Not one half of a power couple--just Claire: complex, cool, fearless Claire full of good ideas and power moves. They would toast to her successes, not the rock on her finger. She knew she could do it. Frank may have placed success just out of her reach, but she knew where to get a step ladder.

#outlander fanfic #outlander fic #outlander #jamie x claire #claire beauchamp #lover #inspired by taylor swift #modern au

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