#twocumber | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

madsciencepottery · 1 year

Text

You have been visited by the twocumber. May you receive twofold luck in the coming days

#cucumber #twocumber #vegetables #good luck posts #good luck #lol

72K notes · View notes

karvetu · 1 year

Text

So if a polyploid plant doesn't have seeds. And the twocumber has seeds. What is that cucumber if not a polyploid??

3 notes · View notes

nonbinarymikaela · 1 year

Note

as someone with notoriously horrible luck, god i hope that twocumber works for me

me two friend, i desperately need it

#sending you good vibes my good anon <3 #may the universe be kind to you #its a me ask

0 notes

avegetariancannibal · 7 years

Text

Drunken Hannibal, continues on

Follows immediately after this post: http://avegetariancannibal.tumblr.com/post/159720326009/because-i-just-enjoy-drunken-hannibal

Will groaned and set down the coffee before approaching the bed. Hannibal had started to drool onto the pillow.

"Dr. Lecter," Will said, and gave his shoulder a nudge. He got a louder snore in response. "Hannibal!"

Hannibal snorted and snuffled deeper into the pillow.

Will set his feet well apart, put a little bend to his knees and grabbed Hannibal's hands. With a steady, smooth, and labored motion, he managed to get most of Hannibal into a sitting position.

"Dr. Lec---Hannibal," Will said again, jiggling the hands he was still holding. "Come on, wake up. You need to drink this coffee. Please? For me?"

Hannibal's eyes suddenly fluttered open. "I would do anything for you, Will."

"All I want is for you to drink this coffee," Will said, only now daring to let go of Hannibal's hands.

Hannibal remained upright, more or less, but a pout replaced his sleepy expression.

"Of course that's all you want," he groused. "That's all you ever want!"

"What are you talking about?' Will asked, then shook his head at himself. "Never mind. Just...drink."

He gestured encouragingly at the coffee cup, but Hannibal lurched with surprising speed and grabbed the nearest whiskey bottle. He managed to get down several long gulps of 80-proof before Will got the bottle away from him.

"Jesus Christ! You'll never get sober at this rate!"

"I don't want to be sober," Hannibal said, getting shakily to his feet. He weaved unsteadily and threw his arms around Will's neck. "I want to be drunk on you, Will! I want.. I want to drink your face like... like a bowl of moonlight with...fish swimming in it. Two blue-gray fish shadowed by two... writhing sea cucumbers."

At this last bit, Hannibal reached out to caress Will's eyebrows.

"Two cucumbers," he intoned in an oddly reverent way. "Twocumbers."

Will helped Hannibal sit back down again, but the only way to do so was to sit on the bed himself and sort of drag Hannibal down with him.

"I have literally never seen anyone this drunk before," Will said to him, "and I worked Mardi Gras in the French Quarter when I was a cop."

"Everything I've said is true," Hannibal sniffed.

"Absolutely not," Will said.

Hannibal pushed back a bit, looking offended. "You're calling me a liar."

"I'm calling you drunk," Will said. "If you said these things sober, I'd---I'd think you were in love with me!"

Hannibal narrowed his eyes. "You're as much an idiot as your horrible face is!"

Will, not even really understanding him, shot back, "Well, your face is an idiot, too."

Hannibal's look of offense flared into full indignation. An instant later, indignation crumbled into hurt. His chin quivered.

"I--I didn't mean that," Will hurried to say. "You have a lovely face."

Hannibal looked skeptical.

"Your mouth is shaped in... an intriguing way," Will went on. "Your eyes are, um, well, I don't really know anybody else with an eyecolor like that..."

"And?"

"And I actually, really, kind of like looking at them," Will said, just realizing it was true. "And into them."

Hannibal scooted closer to him, leaned into him until their thighs were touching. Will felt little pinpricks of electricity everywhere there was contact. When Hannibal reached up to cradle his face in his hands, Will gasped. The touch felt like a shock going through his body. When he felt Hannibal's hand travel downward to his chest, he thought he might forget to breathe.

"Will?"

"Y-yes?"

"Will...I think..."

"Yes?"

"I'm going to..."

"What are you going to do, Hannibal?"

"I'm going to vomit,"Hannibal said, and flung himself off the bed.

Will, dazed and dizzied by this turn of events, could only blink in confusion as Hannibal stumbled through the living room door and out into the snow.

(end? to be continued?)

#drunk hannibal #my fic #hannigram #hannigram fic #hannibal crack

181 notes · View notes

rattshitt · 6 years

Text

Are pairs of cucumbers called twocumbers?

0 notes

madsciencepottery · 1 year

Text