#truly not my monkeys not my circus but i cant seem to escape it

[soldier-poet-king]

Ho ho holy shit the amount of family drama lately like. Not even just the usual my parents hating each other shit + my shitty uncle, but all THREE of my brothers being horrible and menaces and problems in their own way and the only one I forgive is bro 3 bc he's 13 and being emo and causing drama is what he's supposed to be doing, the other two are ADULTS

I got (and continue to get!) so much shit as the eldest and parentified child and for WHAT? I'm the only one with my life together who is not Actively Causing Problems and Being A Shitty Person and like, oh no apparently that counts for nothing BC I'm living here to save money/pay off my student loans in 2 years instead of 10 + I'm single, so like clearly I'm a failure and not the only child in this house who has their shit together + is emotionally mature + has done the therapy and is actively working on myself even if it's slow going BC therapy is expensive

But ofc no none of THAT matters and my brothers can be horrible menaces all they want, I'm still not perfect so clearly that's the biggest issue here

#franposting #im more just like. annoyed??? #i wont air bro 1 and 2s dirty laundry but like #HOLY SHIT. me at my worst was not even CLOSE to this #and YET i got all the criticism and shit from relatives and parents abt my existence #i cant even be like. oh well the holidays are like that and i can leave now #BC I LIVE HERE. BC TORONTO IS TOO EXPENSIVE ON MY CURRENT PAY #and i get paid WELL for an entry level contract in my field #truly its just one thing after another and im just tryin to mind my own damn business #but this is a SMALL HOUSR #truly not my monkeys not my circus but i cant seem to escape it #im so annoyed all the time. leave me alone Please #anyway rereading hote and absolutely loving it even more #but also every single interaction btwenn kip and his family #and its like. yeah. YEAH. I GET IT #fuck that shit. it hurts and you both want and hate it #my little idealistic but also deeply angry heart cant take this #im going to make coffee and Cause Problems On Purpose in fallout #heavy handed political allegories and violence and also helping ppl is clearly what i need rn