#treasure memories sounds cute too <33 i think ill have fun with it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

psychohelmet · 7 years

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5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 22, 33, 40

under the cut cause it’s long af

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

tbh i can’t rmb a lot of birthdays cause they’re like any other day? just with good food lol. well this used to be a good memory but i don’t wanna associate myself with these people anymore. well basically it was a combined birthday/ xmas celebration with a few friends i had made on a sch trip to the uk. the seniors in this group of friends had arranged to meet the juniors at a said location but they ended up stalling and giving us clues to where they were (which was pretty annoying but cute) and when we reached the said location, there was a nice picnic set up with PIZZA and gifts. we just kinda chilled, played games, flew kites etc. it was nice ahaha. but one person in that group pissed me the heck off so now it’s kind of a tainted memory.

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

probably last years. it was again … like just a normal day. sad. but what made it bad was that one of the friends that i consider close as heck, didn’t wish me happy birthday till literally mins before my birthday ended. i don’t wanna sound petty but it really made me upset. and … i found out she had a fun eventful date with her boyfriend (newish at the time) and that made me even more upset… yeah … i don’t wanna sound petty but things like these get to me lol

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

having no eye-bags. ahahah honestly i have nothing to be proud of. but having no eye-bags is pretty impressive for someone who has a messed up sleeping schedule. literally all uni/ college/ art sch students will have eye-bags but i don’t. i know it’s not that special ahaha

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

honestly there’s nothing. i’m not happy with my body. that’s it.

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

tbh idk what would consider the biggest fight? i’ve definitely gotten into pretty bad verbal fights but nothing physical. tbh most of the fights i’ve had were misunderstandings or stemmed from manipulation. i wouldn’t consider them “big” but they were bad alright and i rather not talk about it cause it brings back horrible memories.

22: Talk about your worst fear.

probably the fear of being forgotten and having nobody to lean on/ talk to. this mainly stemmed from never really having stable friendships as a kid and bullying that happened as a teen. whenever i think someone’s a good friend, they seem to find someone better and i’m just left behind. orrrrrr that i feel like there’s literally nobody i can talk to because my problems seem so minuscule compared to others plus some people can’t seem to understand the problems i have and tend to brush it over saying it’s all in my head and that i need to grow up… etc etc but yeah being alone sucks. i might seem like i talk to many people but honestly i don’t. i probably only talk to 1 or 2 people daily but if they don’t text back, then oh well… just nobody then

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

cry, rant about it on twitter (hoping someone will actually talk to me), listen to music, lay in bed and contemplate my existence. basically i do anything to numb out the “sadness” but i tend to talk to myself more and create more fictional scenarios to make myself feel better

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

tbh i read this as “talk about ending your life” and i was like ????? ahaha ok umm the end of a friendship i really treasured??? it was probably one of the closest tumblr friendships i’ve formed. it lasted, i think, for 4 years before it just ended like that. it was with this person who i met in the knb fandom and we instantly clicked because we both liked the same characters and shared the same ship. i rmb us bonding over new years’ talking about dumb imagine scenarios and lowkey role-play ahaha. this person was also probably the first person i gave my number to? we even met up a couple of times. we’ve been thru thick and thin. i rmb being for this person’s suicidal patches and trying my best to support them and helping them to get psychiatric help. but suddenly this person changed and i couldn’t feel comfortable around them anymore. for lack of better phrasing, it felt like person’s life and troubles were sucking the life out of me and conversations were becoming very very short and forced. this friendship was slowly becoming toxic. they moved fandoms so it became even harder for me to connect and talk to them. i didn’t want to stop talking to them because of this and i didn’t want it to seem like just because they were mentally ill and they had a lot of issues, i didn’t want to be friends anymore. once or twice this friend snapped at me for sounding “boring” and “naggy” for caring for them and well, just not showing interests in their new fandoms. they obviously found new friends and they started to act even more ridiculous like one of those people that memes too hard. i knew that this friend had been thru a lot esp when it came to friendships. they honestly were sick and tired of being used and people leaving them. they kinda had this policy “if you put in effort, i’ll put in effort too. if you don’t, then bye i don’t need people like you anymore”. so one day i just didn’t reply to their text because it had came to the point that i had no idea how to reply to a “ahahah ok” kind of text. they didn’t reply to check up on me once. i did think of replying like a “omg i forgot to reply ahaha sorry” but the thing is, i’ve been pulling off that bs for too long and noticed that they never texted first to check up on me so i just gave up. we hadn’t talked for 6 months and i randomly decided to check their twitter account (cause i had muted them because they were constantly spamming my tl) and they broke mutuals. i was, of course, a bit sadded but i went down to scroll and idk maybe find a reason for unfollowing me, and i saw that this “friend” of mine, tweeted saying that wanted to keep their following count at 69 and only wanted to follow back mutuals so whoever that wanted to remain mutuals, to like the tweet. so since i had them on mute, i didn’t see it and they broke off officially from my life. lmao this all sounds pretty pathetic and not worth mentioning but given that this person was a huge chunk of my life and that i’ve been thru their highs and lows, it just kinda sucks. it saddens me even more that even tho i cared so much for this person, this person eventually didn’t give 2 shits about me after finding new friends that they could feed off positivity from. i know that i’m not the best friend, or that i’m not an entirely positive person but the way this friendship ended was so … ok that’s enough of this. i’m leaving out a lot of details but oh well i rambled for too long

#ask meme #thanks seyma!!!#doumekism #ask and you will receive #to whoever that actually reads everything #wow honestly #i don't mind talking about personal stuff

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