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#traveling also just makes me feel really lonely even when i'm with people maybe cuz my surroundings are all different
liinos · 1 year
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Freesia, Carnation, Alstroemeria, Cymbidium
freesia - are you still friends with the person you considered your best friend two years ago?
yeah 🫶🏻
carnation - does true love exist?
honestly idk but i think it would be nice 😭 like i think some people do just Click and i want that for me but idk if that would be considered "true love" you know
alstroemeria - dream vacation?
omg that's really hard... i don't even think i have one at this point cuz i just do Not like traveling especially with flying involved cuz it makes me feel really weird for a while + even in other countries the place i'm most comfortable in is wherever i'm staying so that kind of defeats the purpose of the vacation i guess 💀 i've always wanted to take a friend to njivice tho so I guess that? i think it would be fun to travel with a friend but i also know i'm a Menace to travel with so idk
cymbidium - sexuality?
as far as i know i'm straight
flower asks
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fiveisnumber1 · 3 years
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I'm getting attached to way too many 5SOS songs for these two but you recommended it and I got hooked so here's another impromptu music analysis cuz can't stop, won't stop:
Here I am waking up Still can't sleep on your side There's your coffee cup The lipstick stain fades with time If I can dream long enough You'd tell me I'd be just fine I'll be just fine
I have SO MANY THOUGHTS. I analysed these verses as both Reader and Five. Sort of like a split screen/back and forth thing.
Reader obviously can't sleep in Five's room or stay there too long in the beginning before the grief of his disappearance threatens to make her cave in on herself. She finds his hidden stash of coffee beans and coffee cup cuz of course she got him that cup, she knew how much he loved coffee but that Reginald didn't allow it, so she knows where he keeps it and it makes her cry thinking about it cuz she misses him so much. She holds it and it's like she can feel the ghost of his fingertips still. And when she falls asleep finally after running on her own caffeine highs to avoid sleeping (before Diego and Grace catch her out), when she crashes she manages to sleep long enough to dream of Five who whispers to her that everything will be OK even though when she wakes up he's still not there and there's an emptiness in her soul and next to her.
Similarly, with Five: He also can't leave Reader's makeshift grave for the first few weeks. He can't bring himself to leave but he can't bring himself to stay long either cuz he's in despair over her loss. Her diary and locket is the "coffee cup" for him and like her, if he manages to sleep, she always haunts his dreams and tells him he'll be okay and that they'll see each other again which is hope he can't bear to give himself but simultaneously needs to keep going.
So I drown it out like I always do Dancing through our house With the ghost of you And I chase it down With a shot of truth Dancing through our house With the ghost of you
They both drown out their reality and misery. They try to forget. Reader dances around the manor pretending to be happy but she's still haunted by the memories of Five because it's literally his home and he snuck her around all these halls so they're tainted with him mumbled the stories for her in their one-sided conversations when she was invisible and trying to avoid getting caught.
For Five, Reader's ghost is literally with him at all times through his hallucinations so he tries to use that to forget that Reader isn't actually with him. His reality of the apocalypse is the bitter truth despite him making Reader up in his mind to keep him company to drown out the loneliness.
They both pretend to be happy with each others ghosts but those ghosts simultaneously remind each other about their bitter truth that they're actually far apart. They're simultaneously trying to drown out and chase the truth of each other with the remnants they have of each other.
Cleaning up today Found that old Zepplin shirt You wore when you ran away And no one could feel your hurt We're too young, too dumb To know things like love But I know better now (Better now)
So I imagine Reader finding Five's notebooks where he was calculating for time-travel and just sitting down with her head in her hands and shaking because Five just had to go and prove himself to Reginald who just had to be an asshole and refuse to be understanding. If only he had treated the Hargreeves all better maybe Five wouldn't have been so hurt and angry and the desire to prove his superiority to Reginald for some measure of control wouldn't have existed and forced him to be rash while lashing out.
Five probably finds something in the rubble belonging to Reader or maybe just her diary entry detailing how hurt she was when he left her behind but also talking about understanding his pain and it makes him ache because she understood him and his hurt and his ambition unlike everyone else and he took it for granted.
And they're obviously so young and just children but they're in love. They're too dumb to understand what it means or how to deal with it cuz it's so much emotion in such a small time but they know how it feels now that they've lost one another. They regret not saying anything and they know themselves better now and wish they had realized the depth of their feelings earlier.
Too young, too dumb. To know things like love. Too young, too dumb
The repeated lines just make my heart ache even more. It's just emphasis on their longing for each other and sort of speaks to that heightened desire over the years to see each other again the more they are apart and their hearts grow fonder. Theoretically, they were kids who shouldn't have had such a deep attachment to each other but they did. Five made a dumb mistake that landed them in a mess but it wasn't entirely his fault either and it led to their separation.
So I drown it out like I always do Dancing through our house With the ghost of you And I chase it down With a shot of truth That my feet don't dance Like they did with you
This last line hurts like a bitch. They'll continue to move on and pretend everything is fine cuz they need to keep going but they're missing their most important piece which means they can't dance exactly the way they did when they were together. They falter without each other cuz there's an empty space next to them both occupied by each other's ghost just waiting to be filled by the real person they miss. They'll drown out the truth of their emptiness as much as they can but they can never drown out the fact that the person who made them want to dance was each other.
Anywho here's my analysis. I can't wait to see what you add and I hope you liked it! :D
As always I love your analysis! I wrote a lot so I’ve put read more link below:
Here I am waking up Still can't sleep on your side There's your coffee cup The lipstick stain fades with time If I can dream long enough You'd tell me I'd be just fine I'll be just fine
When I hear these lines it gives me the feeling of time standing still, nothing is changing and it’s only little things that even dictate the passage of time. I think this is really fitting for both the reader and Five. The academy is frozen in time for the reader. The rooms of the building are the exact same and untouched from when she left to when she arrived in the future. Nothing has changed, especially so with Five’s room. It’s little things like the amount of dust collected that even show that time has passed. As for Five every day is the same in the apocalypse. It’s only the rising and setting of the sun and the changes in weather that really dictate time. 
In terms of the coffee cup, I imagine after a while the reader starting to use it as it makes her feel closer to Five. She’d keep it in her room and take perfect care of it using it for whatever drink she had. The color of her lipstick staining the glass. Somehow when exploring the academy ruins, Five finds the cup perfectly intact with the lipstick stain of the reader’s on it. Five takes care of the mug but as the days, months, and years go on, the lipstick stain fades away and it breaks his heart because it’s just another part of her that he realizes is gone.
The repeated line of “I’ll be just fine” can also refer to what the reader tells other people who are trying to care for her like Grace and Diego during such a difficult time. She continues to push the issue away when they try to help by offering up the excuse of I’ll be just fine even though she won’t be fine and she is not fine.
So I drown it out like I always do Dancing through our house With the ghost of you And I chase it down With a shot of truth Dancing through our house With the ghost of you
With this, it’s both Five and the reader trying to ignore the reality of the situation they’re in.  The reader tries to involve themselves in a brand new life. They make a group of friends, they spend time with Diego, they do piano, they do boxing, they work on their powers. The reader is drowning out the pain with other things but when it comes down to it she can’t escape the ghost of the memories living in the academy house. 
As for Five, he turns to drinking to drown out the problem. When the pain of knowing that the reader isn’t there is too much he will chase down the problem with a shot of truth. Truth, in this case, being alcohol.
Cleaning up today Found that old Zepplin shirt You wore when you ran away And no one could feel your hurt We're too young, too dumb To know things like love But I know better now (Better now)
Even more so than finding his notebooks, I can see the reader helping Grace clean up some of the old rooms (excluding Five’s) and underneath Klaus’ bed she finds and old academy uniform, and although it’s not one that directly belongs to Five it’s still the exact outfit he wore on the day he ran away because he was angry and hurt by Reginald’s dismissal of him.
So I drown it out like I always do Dancing through our house With the ghost of you And I chase it down With a shot of truth That my feet don't dance Like they did with you
When I think of these last lines I imagine that on really lonely nights Five and the reader both get up and dance alone. They have their arms placed as if they were dancing with someone else as if they were dancing with each other, but there’s no one there but the empty air. Dancing alone, even in the loneliest of moments, is never the same as dancing with the other person. 
Also like imagine this as a scene in the show with this song in the background: On a starry night in the apocalypse, Five is having a drink next to the reader’s makeshift grave at the ruins of the academy. Wanting some form of familiarity he gets up and starts to dance with the imaginary version of the reader that he has, even though he knows she isn’t real. At the same time, the Reader is in her room on a similar starry night and decides to pretend to dance with Five even though she knows he is not there. As they spin around dancing, the scene goes back and forth between Five in the apocalypse and the reader in her room making it look like they’re dancing together even though they are in two different places alone. As the song nears the final lines Five spins the reader out and there is a split-screen where Five is in the apocalypse with one arm extended and the reader is in her room with one arm out. It looks like they’re holding each other's hand but then the shots pan out and there’s nothing there. And the two of them sadly once again realize that they’re dancing through the shared house with a ghost of the other.
Just wanna add, I listened to the live version of the song, and god does it hurt to imagine Addison taking the reader to a concert and her hearing that song for the first time live. Like while everyone else is waving their cellphone flashlights side to side and having fun singing alone she just gets a distant look in her eyes as she remembers Five. Thinking of that is just like ugh, a stab in the heart really. I’d recommend it if you wanna be sad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwsXebE_f64 (watch 0:00-3:53)
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tumbler-tidbits · 5 years
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Coming to Your Call
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Square filled: Dirty talk
Word count:
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: Smut adjacent, dirty talk, phone sex, masturbation, d/s elements if you squint
Summary: It’s your birthday and even though he’s away on a hunt, Dean has quite the surprise.
A/N:This is my drabble for @covered-byroses 1 year blog birthday challenge. My prompt was “What a thing to say - and on my birthday!” it's in bold. This is also fills my first square for @spnkinkbingo
A/N #2: All mistakes are my own. Thanks to my girl @maddiepants for looking this over and helping me smoothe things out 😘love ya babe. This is my very first smut everyone please be kind!
The bunker was quiet with just you there to wander the halls. Your boyfriend Dean and his brother Sam had taken off a week ago to hunt a pack of werewolves in Oklahoma. Normally you would have tagged along, helped them out, but your friends had insisted on taking you out for your birthday, which was the only reason Dean would let you stay, “as long as you celebrate” he said. So you stayed home, only to get a call last night from Kelly saying she had to head out and help a fellow hunter Beka with an angel problem. She apologized profusely, said she’d make it up to you, but you assured her that it was fine.
Now that your birthday had finally arrived, you couldn’t help but feel all alone and just a bit sad. So you plopped your sulky, sweatpant wearing ass in the Dean cave with armfuls of snacks and binged Netflix for hours. You were in the middle of watching some random rom-com when your cellphone rang, startling you out of your stupor. You picked it up and read the caller ID. It was Dean. You smiled as you clicked to accept the call and held it your ear, answering with a
“Heya Handsome”
“Hey Sweetheart” Dean started “Happy Birthday”
You grinned, “What a thing to say - and on my birthday!”
“Very funny smartass” Dean chuckled
“I’m kidding! Thanks babe”
“So. Kelly called me”
“Did she?” you asked.
“Yeah, somethin about havin to cancel on ya cuz of some dick Angels” he said.
“Yeah” you sighed, “but you know, saving people…”
“I’m sorry Y/N I didn’t want you to be alone on your birthday”.
“It’s fine Dean, I’m a big girl, I can handle a lonely birthday” you replied.
“ But you shouldn’t have to” he returned, ”soooo I was thinking, maybe I could give you a preview of the present you’ll get when I come home”
“Really?” You said, adding a sultry tone to your voice, “what did you have in mind?”
The low grown emanating from the other end of the line told you where this conversation was headed, and you were all for it.
“I can't wait to see you. I'm so hard just thinking about getting my hands on you again. Feeling your plump ass. Kissing down your neck. Tasting your sweet pussy"
"Uuhhmm" you moaned. After a week without Dean, you were horny as hell and with just those few words you felt your panties get wet with your slick. Your hand traveled down your body and into the waistband of your panties as you started playing with your folds.
"Whats the matter baby girl? Am I getting you all hot and bothered? Are you touching that pretty pink pussy?"
"Yes Dean" you moaned
"How wet are you right now? Tell me"
"So wet Dean, my panties are soaked just thinking about you" you moaned as you slid a finger inside yourself and started pumping it in and out.
"I love to hear the sounds you make when you fuck yourself." Dean replied and you could tell by the sounds he was making that he was palming himself through his jeans. That thought spurred you on.
"I can't wait to feel you huge cock inside me again baby. Making me scream. My fingers just aren't enough"
"Is that right baby girl? Did I ruin your pretty pussy with my cock? That's my pussy. Say it"
"Yours Dean, my pussy is all yours"
"Good Girl" he praised "Now I want you to rub that clit for me baby"
You obeyed immediately. "Yes sir" you panted as you removed your soaked fingers from your hole and slid them up to massage your clit. You whined Dean's name as your fingers increased their pressure and speed. “I'm gon.. i'm gonna…” you panted as you felt the coil in your body tightening. You applied more pressure and increased your speed until you could feel that you were right on the edge of your release. Dean knew it too.
"Come for me Y/N" Dean growled, and you did. The coil snapped and you came hard on your own fingers, screaming Dean's name as you slowly came down from your high. After a few moments Dean spoke up,
"You ok sweetheart?" Dean asked, and you swear you could hear his smirk through the phone,
"Better than ok" you replied "When are you coming home?"
"We're hitting the road now, should be home by morning"
"Good, I'll be waiting... In your bed"
"I can't wait, and you better be naked"
"Yes sir"
END
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