#transphobia in queer spaces exists even from other trans people and I am tired of pretending that it doesn't because it is not

[winterwerewolf]

Coming to terms with being a man.

I am certainly not the first to bring it up and I will not be the last but: The hardest part for me personally as a trans man is not the fact that I experience severe gender dysphoria, it's the fact that being male/masc or a man has been so severely demonized by queer people that were supposed to be my friends, my found family, that it steered me right back into an even bigger closet for 8 years. Yeah. 8 fucking years. I knew I was a man when I was 12 years old and aside from the obvious hostility I faced because of garbage cishet people it was even worse through non-cis, non-het and non-cishet people.

I see others like me trying to raise awareness for this issue only to be shut down as someone who "whines and bitches" or even "tries to separate and divide the community". Every time an issue is brought up by trans men we are accused of "looking for issues where there are none", we are accused of "attempting separatism" and accused of "stealing other peoples spotlight" by OTHER queer people no less and all of this gets sort of covered up. As if queer people cannot be evil. As if being queer and specifically being trans somehow absolves you from being a massive bitch and asshole towards other trans people.

You do not have to punch me in the face to make clear you want me to face/experience violence. You don't have to say "I hate trans men in particular" for me to know that you do. When I found the Hashtag Transmisandry and Transandrophobia I cried tears of joy because there was finally a group of other men and mascs who have very similar experiences to mine. I am thanking y'all on my knees and kissing your hands for being brave enough to share these awful experiences even when faced with hostility and scrutiny and even though retelling also means reliving them to some extent. My point here is: Queer people who are hostile towards me have always had this weird victimhood complex of "I was affected by the patriarchy therefore it is my right to hate men." When I dared to point out that I also have experiences with the patriarchy (as does every member of society btw, there are no people unaffected, they are just affected in different ways) I was told to shut up and sit down because I could not possibly understand what it feels like to be raised in a misogynistic society. As if I am not viewed as a woman by transphobes and alike. As if I was not raised "like a girl". As if I had no fucking first hand experience and still do because I do not "pass".

I was there in the boat with you and you decided that, no, actually I never fucking was because what, it challenges your narrative about trans men experiencing zero oppression?

Anyways, this is long and ramble-y enough as it is so to finalize this emotional mess: Fuck TERFs, TIRFs and Baeddals or whatever y'all decide to name your cute little hateful-group next for making me feel like I have no voice, no right to love myself, like I am somehow rotten through and through. Fuck you so hard.

#misandry #transmisandry #transandrophobia #transphobia in queer spaces exists even from other trans people and I am tired of pretending that it doesn't because it is not #expressed through someone punching me in the face and calling me a slur #other transpeople can be transphobic and it does not reduce itself to internalized transphobia #this is not a goddamn jab at transfemmes btw so fuck outta here w your “just say you hate transwomen lol” and your bad faith argument #a lot of people that were shitting on me for being a man were non-binary or otherwise gnc #lets not pretend being queer makes you inherently good and supportive of other queer people aight

[radicalrosesrevolt]

Milwaukee Pride is a Fucking Disgrace to Stonewall and Here's Why:

Milwaukee Pride is a fucking disgrace to what Pride is all about and where it fucking started. There are too many reasons that I can name off,  but I will just name a few of the pressing issues of this festival we call "Pride".

makegayhistory.org, Sylvia Rivera with banner.

milwaukeepride.org, Pride Fest 2019.

Milwaukee Pride is a celebration of overpriced fried food dipped in rainbow capitalism and drenched in the tragedies and issues of young queer and trans people (ESPECIALLY TQPOC) being swept under the rug.  

I'm writing this article because I am fucking tired of Milwaukee Pride being a

cis white passively racist gay man's fantasy.

I'm writing this because I'm tired of the fact that there's less than a crumb of an attempt at a safe all-gender inclusive bathroom and that I have to see TGNC people lined up at the only single stall bathroom by the youth area with looks of discomfort and disappointment. Which leads me to my first issue:

1. No real gender-neutral / all gender inclusive bathrooms, No fucks given about what trans people have to say!

There are various reviews and comments on Milwaukee Pride / Summerfest’s social media pages addressing their inability to make an actual attempt at creating safe bathroom experience that have been ignored or deleted..  “Um, what the hell do you mean? There’s huge signs saying you can use WHATEVER bathroom you want! You should be grateful!” you might say. There’s still multiple “MEN’S” and “WOMEN’S” signs that are visible around these bathrooms; we aren’t actually creating a gender inclusive bathroom experience if cis men and women are basically still going to their designated gendered bathrooms. This is an issue because it causes trans people to stand out and continue to be targeted.

I speak from experience when I came out as trans last year and was more “androgynous” looking and decided to use the “gender neutral” men’s bathroom. One man commented on how my breasts looked nice and another man came out of a stall and made eye contact with me. Then, he came over and shouted,  “Y’KNOW, WHY NOT HAVE GIRLS IN THE MEN’S BATHROOM?!” while throwing his arm around me and chuckling while I stood there uncomfortable and feeling unsafe.  Milwaukee Pride needs to do better for trans people because we literally wouldn’t have pride if it wasn’t for black and brown trans womxn.

2. Pride was a RIOT. The Police were MURDERING US AND BEATING US: WHY TF ARE COPS AT MKE PRIDE?   

I reached out to trans and queer people on social media asking what their experiences were at Milwaukee Pride and how safe they felt. Almost instantly, the response was about how bigots in Blue Lives Matters shirts and religious zealots violently screamed at black and brown QT people to repent for their existence during the Pride parade. Another QT Indigenous POC reported violent transphobia at a block party that happened after the pride parade. In all these violent accounts of racist, pro-police bullshit, the police of course stood by and did nothing. This is nothing new. We all know the cops don’t protect anyone and just enforce violence and mass genocide of black and brown people, so why the fuck are they at Pride? Have we really fucking forgotten the origin of all of this? Having cops at pride events erases what our trancestors and trans elders fought for in the first place.  

3.  Rainbow capitalism, alcohol and anti-lgbtq+ vendors: Stop profiting off of our queerness!  

If having the same white DJs playing shitty EDM and 1 Cardi B song, despite her being transphobic, while a drunk man is grinding on your back without consent is not annoying enough for you - let’s dive a little deeper into MKE Pride’s non-sober space issue! Honestly, I don’t even know where the fuck to start because it’s such a fucking mess.  “LADIEEEES!” vendors left and right cat-call at me and my black trans/nonbinary friends and continue to misgender us and meet us with disrespectful glares when I snap back saying we’re not girls. Bitch, do you even know where you are??

  Milwaukee Pride forces already poor and working class LGBTQ+ people of color to pay an outrageous price of $18 just for corporations and vendors to cat-call and misgender young trans people because all they care about is getting a dollar in their pocket. Miller Lite doesn’t give a fuck about us not having sober spaces. The lack of sober spaces for young QTPOC alone in Milwaukee is alarming and dangerous. Isolation and depression is more common among QTPOC (ages 18-24) in this city than you think. Isolation and depression are main factors that lead to alcoholism, drug addiction, and suicide.

Young LGBTQ+ community members already face so much isolation, hate, and violence, and being outcasted left and right. They don’t have spaces to be themselves and for a lot of young people, their first time at Pride is something sacred. It’s a space that’s decorated in what seems like an invitation to be yourself and be safe doing so when it’s not. This reflects on both Milwaukee Pride being a dangerous non-sober place and the fact that Milwaukee is such a terrible place for young LGBTQ+ people, especially young black and brown lgbtq+ people.

When I went to go see Kim Petras at Milwaukee Pride this year, there was a couple wrapped in a trans flag holding each other behind me, and next to me was my partner. Even though I was being approached by white people all day asking me racist questions like if I knew how to “ninja stuff,” and asking me if the plastic sword I was carrying was a “katana,” I felt relief. I thought, finally, I can dance and have a good time and see an amazing live trans pop artist up close! It wasn’t even mid-concert when a tall drunk man shoved his way through the young LGBTQ+ people around him to get to the front. He was behind me, yelling, and began pushing his crotch against my back. Trying to not make a scene, I kept trying to move forward with the little space I had. Maybe he just balance issues, I thought. He brought his hand up to my side and started to touch me under my muscle tank before I jerked away and yelled at him to stop touching me.

I’m fucking tired. This is the 2nd year I’ve been sexually harassed and inappropriately touched at Pride. Why do I always have to be in fear of my trans body being violated, whether it’d be verbally or physically, at pride? 

I wrote this not to shame Milwaukee Pride go-ers. I went this year. But, there needs to be change. There needs to be a call-to-action. Stonewall is an important part of our history and to capitalize off of a riot where police were beating our trans elders who demanded our rights, just to have marginalized identities get harassed and abused at Pride is a disgrace to what Pride is. Stonewall is still now. Stonewall is legacy that can not die. I’m urging this city within and outside of the LGBTQ+ community to reflect on what Pride is all about. I have never left Milwaukee Pride filled with so much shame. Many of us have walked away from Milwaukee Pride traumatized and violated.

I was surrounded by the smell of alcohol and drugs, in a fever dream of EDM feeling the weight of Stonewall’s history in my heart, thinking of how disappointed and disgusted Sylvia and Marsha would be, and the lives of so many black trans womxn that we lost. Milwaukee Pride is a fucking disgrace to the Stonewall Riots and contradicts everything the Stonewall trans activists stood for. You cannot run from our history. You can not deny our history. We Will Rise.

“This Queer Liberation movement is not over. It  never ended. Stonewall is NOW.” - Still Here: Trans Alliance for Trans Rights.

#Stonewall50 #Milwaukee #Pride Month #Pride #lgbtq #wisconsin #midwest #queer #trans #nonbinary #fuck cops #no cops at pride #rainbow capitalism #QTPOC #social justice #LGBTPOC