Learn to Love You
Chapter 5/? Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 Ch4
CW: general yandere themes, toxic relationship, kidnap
Word Count: 4,385
Note: Childe is a sweet yandere. Reader is a woman. Childe's family is in this chapter.
Also on Ao3
Days had passed since you had last set foot on land. The deep indigo you had always known the ocean to be slowly turned to a miserable grey. You had never been on a transmarine voyage before and the days had begun to run together, just like life at the house. At first, you were numb to the salty droplets of seawater that sprayed your face as the winds frosted the tip of your nose. The ocean grew more grey and dull the farther north you sailed.
You had been avoiding your feelings about what happened at the harbor, but you knew in the back of your mind you would have to address it eventually. Childe had not yet brought it up much to your surprise. You were seldom out of his sight during the entire journey, though. Perhaps he was concerned you would throw yourself overboard.
You had no choice but to accept your fate now. There was no turning back. You had to accept that you chose this. And if you were honest with yourself, you did not regret your decision.
Once the ship finally arrived at the port of Childe’s hometown Morepesok, the sky was clear but the air was frigid. The sun reflected off of the snow that blanketed the land, each fractal glittering as the ship approached. The brightness of the sky and the land was blinding. You tightened your thick scarf and pulled your hat further over your ears.
You leaned over the side of the rails to get a better look at your future. You felt Childe’s hands on your waist. Turning to look around, you would have seen a bright grin take over his face as he peered out at the port from over your shoulder.
“We’re here!” he cheered.
As the ship docked, you descended the ramp hand in hand with Childe. You were gripping him for dear life, but he did not comment on that. Actually, you felt like you were anchoring him to the ground. He probably would have jumped off of the boat if you were not his burden to mind.
“Brother!” called a voice on the dock up ahead. A small child was sprinting towards the pair of you at full speed. Behind him were two more people waving and calling out.
With the way Ajax speaks about his family, you should have anticipated a welcoming party. As the trio approached you, Ajax squeezed your hand before pulling away from your grasp. You lingered a few paces behind him, worried that you would get in the way.
The small one sprung up into Ajax’s arms like a spring.
“Teucer! You’ve gotten stronger!” Childe remarked, catching his brother without faltering.
“I am so glad you’re back! What took you so long?” Teucer said, puffing up his cheeks.
As Ajax pacified Teucer, the others caught up. Before you stood a young boy and a girl–though you supposed they were likely teenagers. Their hair was the same rusty color as Childe’s, and they were beaming with excitement. You could only presume they were Tonia and Anthon, Ajax’s other siblings.
“Teucer,” Tonia scolded, “Our brother just returned from a long voyage. Let him rest.”
Teucer, upon being released from Childe’s arms apologized but his excitement was undampened.
“I’m staying longer this time, Teucer! We will have plenty of time to play. I promise.”
Childe wore a recognizable and sincere smile as he patted Teucer on the back, and welcomed his other siblings in a warm hug. You felt misplaced watching a family reunion you were not a part of. That uneasiness did not diminish the softness in your heart seeing Ajax be so gentle with his siblings, though. He was always careful with you, but there was no trace of the feared harbinger of Liyue Harbor here, just a devoted older brother.
“You’ve gotten taller, Anthon,” Ajax remarked, ruffling his brother’s hair.
Anthon shrugged away from his touch, seemingly too cool for this, but he wore a smile nonetheless.
“I’ll be stronger than you too before you know it.”
Teucer hopped between them chiming in. “It’s true! Anthon trains for hours every day. Papa and Mama get so mad about it sometimes.”
As they spoke amongst themselves, you hung back and pretended to tighten your jacket clasp as they talked. You did not want to hurry them because understandably they had been awaiting their brother’s return for a while. The sea breeze blew right through your coat, however, sending shivers contracting down your spine. You noticed Tonia look over at you from the corner of your eye.
“Ah, is this your girlfriend?” Tonia asked, gesturing to your quiet presence behind Childe.
You felt embarrassed for some reason as the other two turned their attention away from their big brother. You awkwardly waved, taking a few steps forward to meet Ajax at his side where he promptly wrapped his arm joyfully around your shoulder. He introduced you by name, beaming.
“It’s nice to finally meet you,” you replied, voice quieter than you expected.
You meant it. Childe frequently talked about his siblings in particular, and he diligently spend evenings hunched over letters back home. You took Tonia’s outstretched hand in yours, shaking politely.
“Let’s continue this at home, yes?” Childe prompted the group. You caught him looking over your face, reading you like a book. He must have noticed you were holding your teeth together so that they would not audibly chatter. “Maybe we can catch a cart back,” he added.
“It’s only two miles,” Anthon complained, “We don’t need to pile into a cart.”
“Don’t be dense, Anthon,” Tonia replied starting her way down the pier. “She’s not used to cold like this. Ajax isn’t asking for you.”
Anthon grumbled, embarrassed but said nothing further.
“No, no! I am fine walking. We get snow in Liyue as well,” you insisted, “I can handle a couple of miles.”
You laughed lightly to hide how awkward you felt, but Childe did not buy it. You knew that if it were only the two of you, you would not have a choice. You assumed he was attempting to be a good influence for the sake of his younger siblings, though.
You insisted on walking the few miles back to their home in town rather than catching a cart ride in spite of Childe’s protests. You felt a little naive, but the children were able to walk on their own, so why couldn’t you?
This was a question that was quickly answered. Despite the sun’s bright appearance glittering off of the snow-burdened hillside, the air was sharp and unforgiving. You were shivering already. Ajax had told you tales of the freezing north, but you were left unprepared. Your layers of clothing were not cutting it.
Teucer and Anthon hopped ahead of the rest of you, unbothered by the cold, and excitedly asked Childe for tales of his adventures and described the ‘humongous’ fish they had caught. Tonia calmly walked alongside you and Ajax, though she was clearly no less excited for her brother’s return.
You felt like an outsider looking in, shyly holding your coat close and smiling politely whenever Teucer and Anthon snuck a glance at you.
“Ajax,” Tonia said after Teucer and Anthon ran ahead, “Did you run into any trouble?”
Her tone was light and casual, but the concern behind her words was apparent. Childe flashed her a grin.
“Nothing your big brother can’t handle. Above all else, I prioritize coming home to you all in one piece.”
Tonia squinted in mock suspicion but laughed.
“What about you? Was the boat ride okay?” she continued, “This is your first time sailing to Snezhnaya, right?”
You were a little surprised to be addressed after being quiet up until this point. You peeked your chin out from under your scarf to reply.
“Y-yes! The water was clear as day. It’s beautiful here.” You kept your reply brief, attempting to conceal your shivering. Ajax shot you a look of concern, almost scolding.
“And cold,” Tonia laughed, “Luckily, the house is warm. We’re almost there.”
-
You were relieved that Tonia was right. The house was warm, bringing comfort to your chilly cheeks. You were confident that if you had been outside any longer, your nose would have grown a comically large icicle. Ajax politely gestured for you to shrug out of your coat. You got the sense that he was on his best behavior for siblings rather than anything else.
The house was similar in size to the one you had been staying in from what you could tell. From the entryway, you peered into a living room with comfy-looking seats surrounding a stone fireplace. Each sofa had a knit blanket tossed haphazardly over the side. Framed photographs of smiling faces covered the walls. As you slipped your snow-covered boots off, you followed Ajax’s lead placing them on a drying shelf where several other pairs rested.
Even just seeing the entrance, you could tell that this house was lived in. The coziness and uplifting atmosphere of the house were in sharp contrast to the Liyue house. Despite the freezing temperatures outside, you felt welcome and at ease relative to everything here. Even in the fair Summer of Liyue, the house felt cold and empty despite you spending all of your time there. It was a house, not a home.
Teucer called for his mother, running to the other room to announce their arrival alongside Tonia, but Anthon lingered behind.
“I bet I could carry both of the suitcases upstairs with one arm, Ajax,” Anthon boasted.
“Oh really now?” Childe teased back. “Could you outrun Mama’s wrath once she finds out you tracked snow everywhere?”
Anthon laughed, remembering to kick off his boots. You had been following Ajax and the others’ lead, but you felt exposed without your thick jacket and boots protecting you. Ajax and the kids naturally were comfortable here, but you felt out of place despite the warm welcome.
You heard footsteps coming down the hallway as well as Teucer’s frog-like hops.
“Teucer, boots off. I know you’re excited, but there’s snow everywhere.”
You quickly learned that the source of the voice was an older woman whom you presumed was their mother. Her hair was pulled back into a neat braid and her presence was commanding, but her blue eyes were kind. She affectionately ruffled Teucer’s hair as he apologized and kicked his boots off with the rest of you.
Their mother turned their attention back to you and Ajax, as Anthon and Tonia slipped away into the other room.
“Ajax, you made it home in one piece,” she said, beckoning him into a hug.
“Of course! If I didn’t, my mother wouldn’t let me hear the end of it,” Ajax said, laughing.
“It’s my job to worry,” she said with an undertone of exasperation.
She then turned her attention to you. You had been staying a few paces behind everyone else, not knowing what to do with yourself. It was overwhelming to be in a family’s home after months of isolation.
“Sorry, dear. I did not mean to ignore you!” she said, pulling you into a hug too.
You shot a panicked look at Ajax, not knowing what to do. You had not been touched by another human being aside from him in months. You hoped that his mother did not notice your alarm as you awkwardly patted her back. She released you but kept her hands on your shoulders, looking you up and down. You focused on keeping your breathing even as hyperventilation was not the best first impression of a potential daughter-in-law.
“I thought Tonia was pulling my leg when she said Ajax was bringing home a girlfriend. He’s never brought anyone back with him before,” she continued, smiling warmly at you. You smiled back, stuffing your anxiety as far back in your mind as possible.
You laughed uneasily, introducing yourself. Childe came to your rescue as his mother released your shoulders.
“Don’t crowd her, Mama,” Childe said, his tone light, “She’s not used to the Snezhnayan welcome.”
You smiled apologetically, assuring her that it was okay even if you were significantly out of your comfort zone.
“Of course, my bad!” she said, waving you into the living room, “Come in and warm up. You look like you need to be dethawed like winter preserves. Did you make her walk, Ajax?”
He frowned. “I didn’t make her do anything.”
Mama raised her brows at him as the universal way of saying I know you know better.
You joined Childe on the sofa, sitting on the very edge of the cushion with your hands folded on your lap. You kept a polite smile on your face as you listened to Childe’s mother explain that his father would be home soon. Teucer took the seat on the other side of Childe, rocking back and forth excitedly.
Mama excused herself to check on the oven after a few minutes of small talk about the trip and Snezhnaya’s climate interspersed with Teucer’s epic retelling of a snow fight he had with the neighborhood children. Ajax volunteered to help her, refusing to take no for an answer. You hesitantly trailed behind him alongside Teucer.
The kitchen was as warm and welcoming as the sitting room, filled with the aroma of a yummy roasted bird of some sort. Ajax was washing up, apparently about to take over the job of slicing the vegetables his mother had left on the countertop.
“Can I help?” you slip in during a lull of chatter. You felt bad that you had not offered before since Childe had stepped up so readily, but he waved you off.
“No, love,” he said cheerfully, “It looks like we’re almost done here anyway.”
You felt a little bit annoyed because you could really use something to do with your hands right now.
“Don’t feel bad,” said Tonia, “Ajax finds it impossible to sit still.”
You felt vulnerable having your discomfort indirectly referenced, and you smiled politely in an attempt to hide your unease.
“Ajax, you can’t just leave her hanging,” Mama scolded, “You’re going to make her feel bad just watching.”
Okay, your discomfort was directly referenced. Great.
Childe laughed off Mama’s concerns, interjecting your polite need to say ‘no, no I’m fine.’
“Love, you’re still a guest,” he said glancing up from the veggies he neatly scraped into a pot of boiling water. “It would be pretty unreasonable to ask you to help with dinner, no?”
You shifted your weight to the other foot, using all of your might to maintain the civil smile on your face.
“Don’t mind my brother,” Tonia said. “He’s never brought anyone back before. I had no idea he was so clueless with girls.”
“Hey now,” Childe mock whined. “No need to throw me under the wheel like that.”
After that, the spotlight shifted back to Ajax and his banter with his siblings with the occasional cautionary comment from his mother. You were able to fade into the wall for the time being.
-
Despite the protests from Mama, you and Ajax offered to clean up the dinner mess. You felt better making yourself useful and a break from having to answer questions or really speaking at all. It was a familiar scene, as you dried each plate that Ajax washed. Instead of comfortable silence, though, you listened to Childe chat about the gruesome monsters he had slain in epic detail for an excited Anthon. Tonia was brewing evening tea, listening in as well.
“You’ll have to tell Papa that story,” Anthon mused, taking a dish from your hand to put away.
You assumed the gruesome detail was a special treat for Anthon as Teucer was out of earshot getting ready for bed.
“You realize we just ate, right?” Tonia said through laughter.
In the other room, you heard the door shut followed by firm footsteps down the stairs. Anthon and Tonia exchanged a knowing look and went to stand by the door, apparently listening. You silently looked to Childe for answers who smiled calmly at you.
“Papa is home late, and my darling siblings want to eavesdrop,” Ajax informed you softly.
“It’s the third time this week, Ajax,” Tonia shot back at Childe, eyebrows raised.
Anthon added that “Papa promised he would be back in time to greet you, and–”
Anthon cut himself off and listened intently as he heard voices in the other room. You could not make out any words, though. Childe laughed at the comically childish snooping his siblings were doing. After a minute or so of watching the circus, Childe decided to put himself into the center of the show.
Childe motioned for his younger siblings to step out of the way as he made his way to the living room to Papa’s rescue. You were yet again left behind, unsure of what to do with yourself. You lingered behind Childe for a few moments before deciding that following him was your best bet, even if it meant walking into an uncomfortable conversation.
In the entranceway, you saw Childe’s parents having a heated, whispered discussion. This was your first sight of Childe’s father. He was a tall man with a tremendous beard. His arms were crossed defensively over his chest and Mama’s face was particularly red. Their expressions softened as they saw their eldest son enter the room.
“Papa,” Ajax greeted, a grand smile plastered over his face as he greeted his father with an enormous hug. “I was worried you had caught the wrong side of a bear!”
Papa returned Ajax’s smile. “Not today. I just lost track of time.”
Mama’s displeasure was written all over her face like a page out of a book. She exchanged looks with Ajax’s father, mouthing a word that looked like later before stalking off to the other room. You noticed that Anthon and Tonia had inconspicuously joined you in the living room.
Childe had successfully dissipated the tension in the air as he and Papa talked briefly about the long ship ride home. You were not sure what to do with yourself other than smile politely. Ajax’s father kept his attention on his son, likely out of politeness. Although, you could have sworn that he gave you a quick once over. It must be true that Ajax has never brought anyone home before you.
You froze when Childe turned to face you, beckoning you to his side. You only hoped that your smile was enough to mask the anxiety you felt. Childe wrapped his arm around you as he grinned. You took comfort in the fact that you could always leave the talking to Childe.
“Papa, this is my girlfriend!” Childe introduced you by name. “She sailed across Teyvat just to meet everyone.”
Ajax’s father gave you a firm handshake, but you were grateful that that was it.
After exchanging pleasantries, Childe suggested that everyone sit down for evening tea. You eagerly offered to help him and Tonia brew a pot, eager to let the tension settle. You wondered if it was like this every time Childe returned home. You pretended not to notice the stern look Ajax’s parents exchanged as Papa took the plate of food from the dinner he missed.
Later, you joined Ajax’s family in the living room, sitting politely with your hands folded neatly on your lap. It was well past dark now, and you could feel the glue holding yourself together melting away with each hour. If Childe felt the same way, he did a convincing job hiding it. He smiled lightly as he sat back on the sofa like not a moment had passed since he left home. You knew he was not blind to the problems in front of him.
Ajax and Anthon talked like nothing were wrong. Anthon recounted the thrilling tale of how he narrowly escaped the neighbors’ enraged chickens. You felt at ease hearing Ajax’s laughter as he prodded for details.
Soon, Ajax’s mother returned.
“Well, he put up a bit of a fight but Teucer has gone down to bed,” Mama said, taking a seat by Ajax’s father.
“Anthon, you too,” Papa said, gesturing to Anthon who had been sitting between you and Ajax. His tone was final. “Now is the time for the adults to talk.”
Anthon’s expression fell, clearly displeased with the prospect of bedtime.
“Papa, I’m older now,” Anthon complained, though bordered on whining, “Let me stay up with everyone.”
“Anthon, I respect that you are a young man now, but there are things you don’t yet understand. There will be time for you to catch up with your brother later.”
Anthon sat up in his seat, not ready to let this go.
“You mean my brother Tartaglia?” he said, voice icy, “the eleventh of the Fatui Harbingers? I already know, Papa. That’s why Uncle Pulcinella looks after us, right? To protect us from my brother’s enemies?”
The silence was deafening. The moment of peace was abruptly over. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat as Tonia sighed dramatically to your side. You glanced over to look at Childe who was analyzing his parents’ faces which had been taken aback by Anthon’s outburst.
“Anthon–” Mama started, but Ajax interrupted.
“Mama, Papa, if you would allow me–I think that it would be valuable for Anthon to stay up for another cup of tea. He speaks with the conviction of a man, not a child, and sending him to bed at the same time as Teucer sends the wrong idea.”
Tonia was already pouring another cup into Anthon's mug, clearly showing her opinion on the matter. You got the sense that had Childe not spoken up, Anthon would have gotten into trouble.
“I know a mutiny when I see one,” Papa sighed, defeated.
“Mama and Papa put up with a lot, Anthon,” Childe continued, turning to Anthon with an apologetic smile, “Go easy on them, alright? They’re right. The Fatui deal with work best left in the shadows. I don’t want any of you involved in that.”
Anthon opened his mouth as if to argue further, but he shut it quickly as Tonia shook her head in caution at him.
The mood was lighter after that. Tonia and Papa told stories from their latest fishing trip, detailing catching fish purportedly bigger than. You had been silent for most of the discussion, nodding or smiling where appropriate. You felt more comfortable than before, but you did not find an opportunity to share in the conversation.
“Dear, you’ve been awfully quiet,” Mama said after a short lull in the conversation, “I want to know more about you. How did you and Ajax meet?”
You froze as the family’s eyes turned to you. Your anxiety began to rise again as you were now far from the position of listening from the corner. You were content to have Ajax at the center of attention, though he was now averting his gaze.
“Um,” you started, “I met him while working for Northland Bank.”
Ajax’s mother and father definitely caught the hesitation in your voice.
“Ah, that seems… normal,” Papa replied, choosing words carefully. Had they expected you to be a part of the Fatui as well?
Ajax’s mother shot a look at his father before smiling sweetly at you.
“Excuse us. We’re just deathly curious about how Ajax found such a nice, beautiful girl,” Mama’s tone was diplomatic though just as restrained as Papa’s. She continued, jokingly, “You’re here willingly, right?”
Childe choked on his tea. Great.
“M-mama, do you think so poorly of me?” Ajax said laughing it off, “I would never drag someone across land and sea against their will. Well–”
For someone who is supposedly so intelligent, Ajax was being really stupid right now. You had the sense to cut him off.
"I came here for him," you say quickly, "I would follow him across the world. Literally."
You hoped that the intensity in your voice would throw off any suspicion that his parents might have about your situation. Papa looked skeptical, but Mama kept up her demeanor of cheerfulness, clearly being polite.
“Is he your boss or something?” Tonia said teasingly, trying to dissipate some of the tension.
“Nothing like that,” you reply, grateful once again for Tonia's penchant for peacekeeping.
You avoided looking at him but felt Childe laughing from the other side of the sofa. You wished that you were closer so you could kick him. You knew that if his parents started asking questions, you would not be able to maintain your pretense of being a devoted girlfriend.
Papa was eyeing Ajax dangerously. You needed to derail this now.
“The way we met is pretty boring,” you said, smoothing out your voice to remain casual and polite. “Ajax has a propensity for the grandiose, though. I understand why you would be skeptical.”
Mama nodded and carefully considered her words. “Yes, that’s a trait he gets from his father.”
She notably did not comment on either of your out-of-place comments. Papa still said nothing. You suffered in the moment of silence that followed.
“Thank you for the tea, Tonia. Let me worry about dishes,” Ajax said with a perfectly pleasant smile as if he had not given your whole situation away.
He gathered the empty cups around the table, and you shot a look at him as he grabbed yours. You hoped the message was clear. Don’t screw up like that again.
The subject of your relationship with Ajax was dropped for the rest of the night. It was clearly a sore issue.
-
Later in the evening, Ajax insisted on staying in the cottage he had rented, much to his mother’s dismay. You got whiplash from the dramatic shift in tones. It seemed that his parents were well aware of what a Fatui Harbinger was capable of, and yet they chose to set that aside for Ajax’s sake. You were unsure how long you could play the role of a normal, functional girlfriend like this.
You were bundled up and ready to go into the moonlit snowscape. Despite your hesitance to leave the warm house and into the cold, you were happy to have a break from prying eyes.
You and Ajax walked together into the darkness.
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