#tony whacked his spider son repeatedly with a broom

[wexhavexaxhulk]

Spider Frights

A/N: was Halloween a month ago? Yes. Did I just get this idea and thought it was really funny and wanted to write it anyways? Yes.

Halloween. Peters favorite time of the year. Lots of candy, amazing costumes, children that dress up as Spider-Man, scaring the hell out of people, shall he continue?

Tony on the other hand hates it. Small children in cheap costumes constantly ringing his doorbell, having to deal with Peter after he ate way too much sugar, always getting scared, shall he continue?

Ding dong

“Ugh, how many children are there?” Tony said after the thousandth doorbell ring. He and Peter were trying watching The Nightmare Before Christmas but they kept having to pause every 5 seconds.

“Approximately 26% of the world’s population.”

“How did you know that?”

“I know everything Mr. Stark.”

“Sure you do kid.” He stood up front the coach. “What’s the smell of rain called?”

“Petrichor.” He said without a pause.

“My middle name?”

“Edward.”

“The hottest degree ever recorded on earth?”

“2 billion degrees kelvin.”

“Jeez kid. How do you know all of that.”

“When I can’t sleep I just stare at my ceiling for hours thinking about anything and everything.”

“Oh.” Tony opened the door expecting to see another kid dressed in a terrible avengers costume. Instead he saw no one. “Weird.”

“Whats weird?” Peter said not being able to see the door.

“No ones there. Probably some ding dong ditcher.” He walked back to the couch and as soon as he sat down the doorbell rang again. He muttered “Dammit.” and stood back up quickly and opened the door.

No one was there.

Tony slammed the door already tired of getting up to feed kids candy even though it was still pretty early in the night. Only 5 or 6 o’clock. The second he took a step the doorbell rang again.

Tony opened the door as fast as could. When he did he got a face full of potato. “Harley?!”

“Hey!”

“What are you doing here?”

“You don’t want to see me? I see how it is.”

“Not at the moment.” He said while brushing potato out of his hair.

Peter has never met Harley but from what he could tell from the stories Tony told him is that he was fun. Tony had said that if Peter and Harley got together they would probably blow stuff up and cause Tony more stress and most likely give him a heart attack.

“Come on in. This is Peter.” He said pointing to Peter.

“I didn’t know you had an actual son.”

“Oh we’re not related.” Peter said.

Harley looked confused.

“Peter is an intern as SI”

“Who happens to be spending Halloween with you where you live watching movies? I don’t buy it.”

It was silent for a second then Peter said “I’m Spider-Man.”

Harley looked at him with a disbelieving look. Peter looked too small and fragile to be Spider-Man.

“How has the whole world not found out yet, your so bad at keeping secrets.”

“Wait he really is Spider-Man?”

“Yup.”

“Oh that’s awesome!”

Harley asked about the mechanics in his webshooters and they immediately became friends.

“This isn’t going to end well.” Tony said to himself.

Later that night Harley though it would be funny if they snuck out and went trick or treating. Peter had and even better idea of going trick or treating in the Spider-Man and Ironman suit.

They got many compliments on there ‘very realistic costumes’ and got extra candy when Peter did some flips.

When they got back they had tons of candy, approximately 2-3 pillowcases each.

“You wanna see who can eat the most candy the fastest?”

“Your on! I have a super fast metabolism!”

“I’m southern!”

Peter obviously won but it was still pretty close.

When Tony walked in the room he saw thousands of candy wrappers and Peter and Harley were practically buzzing. They both looked over at Tony and he slowly backed away.

“You can crawl on walls right?”

“Yeah”

“I have a great bad idea”

“I’m down”

———

Peter and Harley quieted down so Tony thought they were finally asleep. They must sugar crashed after all that candy they ate.

He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, looking for some left over takeout. He found some and closed the fridge.

Then all of a sudden the lights go out.

Tony goes to turn them back on but nothing happens. He’s too exhausted to deal with it so he just continues making his midnight snack in the dark. As he is putting the box into the microwave he hears a loud sound coming from down the hall. He sighs follows where the noise came from thinking that Peter and Harley woke up.

He finds no one and by now he getting a little worried. “FRI, is there anyone on this floor?”

“Just Peter, Harley, and Mrs. Potts”

Satisfied with the answer, he turns around and starts walking back towards the kitchen.

When his foot steps into the kitchen is when he sees it.

A gigantic Spider on the ceiling, creating a web.

Forgetting about his spider child, he grabs the broom that just so happens to be right next to him and starts whacking the spider while screaming.

Tony doesn’t love spiders. He’s trying to not be afraid because of Peter but deep down inside, spiders scare the shit out of him.

The spider falls onto the floor and he continues whacking.

“Ow! Ow! Mr. Stark it’s me Peter!”

He keeps hitting for a few more seconds before registering that the spider just talked. Then his brain finally catches up and sees he was hitting Peter in a spider costume the whole time.

“Peter! Are you ok!?”

“Yeah yeah I’m fine.”

“Good.” He breathed in deeply. “What the hell! You scared the shit out of me! You know I hate spider!”

Peter stood up. “Hey! It was all Harleys idea!”

Harley popped out from behind the couch. “Snitch! It wasn’t all my idea!”

“Both of you go to your rooms.” Then he whispered to him self, “I need to take my heart medication.”

They walked away but when they were out of ear reach they high fived each other. “That was awesome! You looked terrifying!”

“Thanks! How did you turn the lights off?”

“I hacked into FRIDAY and shut off the kitchen lights using a tablet I borrowed from his lab.”

“Nice! I’m exhausted from being whacked by a broom repeatedly so I’m actually going to bed.”

“Good idea, but we’re definitely gonna prank him tomorrow.”

“Duh! We should switch out his coffee with decaf.”

“Or glue his mugs to the cabinet.”

“Or glue fake spiders to the bottom of his mug so when he finishes his coffee he gets scared.”

“Or put real spiders in his coffee mugs!”

“...”

“Too far?”

“Maybe just a tad.”

Bonus:

Harley woke up to find a gigantic Spider on his ceiling staring him in the eyes. He screamed like a girl and Peter sent a video of it to everyone.

#peter parker #harely keener #tony stark #spiderman #spiders #tony whacked his spider son repeatedly with a broom #he apologized later cuz he felt bad #halloween pranks #yes I know its almost december #don't judge me