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#to start looking for a flat for after the end of this tenancy i dont want to stall cause ill be doing something else she was like is it
ilyzuko · 2 months
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no cuz what's up with tumblr now showing me a random p*rn post like every 3 posts on my dash from random blogs nd tags i dont follow weren't they like all about dep*rnifying this site
#also my flatmate...im sorry but im going insane she honestly grosses me out at this point she cant clean for shit and when i ask her to#clean something properly cause she just goes over stuff randomly with a dirty cloth at best leaving it even worse she tells me im 'making#her paranoid by inspecting all the tiny specks' im gonna kill myself. i was away for a few months and i come back to a flat that was so#fucking gross everything sticky i really har to do shit like take all pieces of cutlery (that she claimed were clean) out of the drawer#cause they were all sticky and had food specs and wash them again#like im mean now sure idccc it's the tags of my blog that no one reads but shes literallydriving me crazyyy so tonight i said if she wants#to start looking for a flat for after the end of this tenancy i dont want to stall cause ill be doing something else she was like is it#because i didnt wipe the stove properly nd i was like i just think we dont work that well#house keeping level have different expectations and it stesses us both out. wanted to keep at that and she goes on in a full breakdown mode#starts yelling at me and stomps off saying i have 'an ego about being a clean person when im not' shdjdj like maam youre 27 years old youre#walking around with dirt under your nails and have never washed a hairbrush that youve had for years it's growing a whole microsystem. 28*#like im really trying to be normal about this but i just cant live with someone who lives like this and thows fits when asked to fix their#behaviour
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whence-the-woody · 3 years
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2020 
I used to do big, reflective summaries of my year and even tho I am feeling reflective today, I wasn’t able to do that last year and I actually really like the format I went with last year of just listing memz so I’m going wih that. Intention review etc will be in another post. So, my 2020 memories:
Jan
Gearing up to leave a job I hated, packing up my life to move away properly for the first time. Going flat hunting with my mum and my brother and having a literal choice of one
I did Home which I dont really remember so it was probably fine
This was the month the Gallavich wedding aired and gaslit me into believing there was still anything positive about that show/ship. Tbf at the time I was LIVING for it
Cinema kick with Mum including CATS. What a moment. 
Feb
Last day at said crappy job (just weird and awks. I didnt really know how to feel) and starting a new one - everyone was so lovely from the off and even tho I was bored at times I was optimistic
Staying with my brother for a few days, him helping me move in which was all very nice. 
My flat having no hot water for the first week - I only cried about it once. And me having nothing but an air bed for 3 weeks. Not ideal but grateful to have amenities and furniture by the end of the month
I think this was both kareoke night for one persons birthday and a 90s party for another - both excellent nights
People were talking about COVID by the end of the month but I was like pfft we’ve been here before with swine and bird flu, it’ll be all hyped up then go nowhere 
I think I was getting my first allocations by the end of the month which I was grateful for because going from an insane workload to none at all was tricky and I wanted to get going
March
Oh March 2020. How we did not see you coming. 
Before the lockdown even happened I remember people were panic buying. I stocked my freezer a bit, not because I was worried but because so many shelves were empty. All the shops starting looking apocalyptic and I was despairing over how silly everyone was being. You couldn’t get online shops anymore and there was no loo roll to be found - still think thats just so dumb. I had to go to 4 different stores to find oats and was so annoyed, weird little tidbit but I remember it. 
 I remember sitting down on my new furniture - eating a meal I had made, watching John Mulaney and feeling good in my new home - and seeing the Boris announcement. Other countries had already locked down so I had mentioned to my manager that I might have to go home to my Mums if it happened here - she had asked, I didn’t really believe it would. I had arranged for a friend to visit that month and when she cancelled I was like I think everyones being dramatic but okay. Then the 23rd, they announced a lockdown from midnight and I straight away messaged everyone to say I was panicking, asked my manager if I could leave and packed to drive back to Mum’s the next morning. I was in my flat about 6 weeks. 
I know for a fact that March felt like the longest month to ever happen but now I cant remember anything else from it - the announcement was so late in the month, I wasn’t working from Mum’s for that long before April. I think we were told to WFH if we could mid-month but I didn’t. Cant for the life of me now think why it felt so long. I know for those last 2 weeks I was refreshing the news constantly to see what was happening. I was still skeptical and thought the numbers were too low for such drama
April
WFH for real. Excruciating daily calls “to check in”. Working my first cases from home, only on the phone, with no idea what I was doing. Taking turns wearing headphone with Mum because we were both having confidential conversations. 
Walking my pup to get my alloted hour of exercise. Taking regular breaks to go outside - I think this was when there was a heatwave. Eating lunch outside. Sometimes doing weights or yoga during my lunch break - that part was actually pretty great 
Discovering podcasts - especially FDRF. They were the real MVP. 
Still constantly checking the news for updates. 3 weeks turned into 6 and so on and so on. 
I came back to my flat for one of the long weekends. I had accepted that it was going to be longer then 3 weeks and I needed more stuff. I went for a very hot walk through a ghost town - at the time it still seemed like there were too many people about. Still picnics in the park happening. 
Everyone flinching when they say each other and steering well clear. It made you feel tainted even though its what we were suppossed to do. 
Clapping for carers - absolute bullshit placating, hated it. 
Always being left off the list of keyworkers.
Still feeling like yeah its bad but ?? This cant go on forever 
A year of build up to a move then the rug was pulled out from under me, I tried not to complain because others had it so so much worse but it was hard. Is hard. 
We watched all of Location, all of Marvel, Bake off etc etc. I cried when Tony Stark died. 
I went back through my ENTIRE tumblr. I realised how little had changed really, it was very existential. 
May 
I had to come back to my new city because I was on a duty rota for 2 weeks. I was actually very excited and had a good time. I got to see people IRL!! Including some I was working with. It was definately a heatwave at that point - we were swealtering in our cars and full PPE but I was so glad to be out and about and back in the city. Putting a face and proper clothes on again was very weird
I dont remember anything else from May specifically. I think March and April lasted 10 years but then May June July were a blink. I think I had accepted how bad everything was by that point, I had stopped looking at the News for updates. I think this is where zoom started to be a thing maybe. 
June
Honestly not a clue. I was between My place and Mum’s because of the duty rota. I don’t think I came back FT until end of June. I know things were starting to open up again and it was all moving far too fast - I definately wasnt going to run out to the gym or pub but alot of people were. We were suppossed to go on holiday for a week this month, with my brother and the dogs but obvs that was cancelled - it was such a lovely place as well, shame. 
Yoga was still random but I did a weight workout every day this month which was great
July
Turning 25. I was definately back in the city FT, going back into work. My Mum came to stay in my place for the first time. My brother came over too. We went for a walk, had a picnic in the rain then ate cake back at mine. My Mum got me a microwave for my birthday because Im AN ADULT
For my birthday also me and my Mum watched Hamilton for the first time. This then took over my entire life and was played at all hours of the day 
Kept going with daily weight workouts, moved up another set. I think this is where I re-did Revolution
August
Ready to start socialising again. More restrictions were being lifted too quickly which I knew but also I had to GTFO
A friend came to stay with me for the weekend. Hes not very mobile so we couldnt do much - went for a short walk into town, sat by the river and got severely sunburned. We went to a restaurant for the first time in 6 months - I had pancakes. I made him watch Hamilton which he did not appreciate enough. Also watched Truman show for the first time while eating burritos - what a mindfuck that movie is I mean really
Went for a very long very hot walk with a friend all around the fields surrounding the city. We stopped for a drink and cake halfway, more drinks were then had in her garden. This was our first time hanging out alone and it was really lovely, we spent much more time together after that. Shes probably who Ive seen the most this year. 
A couple of weeks after that we went for bottomless brunch, followed by I think 3 or 4 other bars. The joys of getting day drunk. 
I think this was the month I started using friend/dating apps and got OBSESSED. They’re just so silly and judgey and fun, I love it. 
My 6 month tenancy ran out which I chose to renew. I started negotiations with my landlord for a pet agreement. 
I think this is where I re-did Dedicate. I think weight workouts fell off a little bit because I was pretty busy. Instead of running started doing 3 walks a week which was nice. 
September
First time hanging out with more then one person - did a Hamilton viewing party with 4 of us. There were american themed snacks, it was great. Not a boozy night which was needed. I think I then went for coffee with 2 of the girls this month. 
First time meeting up with 2 girls I met on an app - I’m still friendly with one, not the other. It was mostly a good time and I’m very proud to have done it but then drunken politics came up and it got AWKWARD. 
Nagging and nagging and nagging my landlord until she signed the pet agreement and LET ME GET A CAT
My obsession with apps was replaced with a cat shelter/app obsession. It was very frustrating because I wanted to rescue and they make it very hard so I eventually found a for sale ad and contacted them - it was a rescue though as far as I’m concerned, she was in a horrible situation for an “owner” who had no clue and had only had her for a couple weeks before giving up and putting her up for sale. I rescued her okay. I think it was 3 or 4 weeks after getting agreement that I went to pick her up. So getting everything ready for her was a big part of this month
I did manage to fit in a 5 day holiday. It was suppossed to be solo travel abroad but ended up being a Mon-Fri with family. We did some NT walks it was nice.
Then it was literally that weekend my brother drove me to Wales to pick up my new fur baby. Instantly fell in love obviously and my whole life became about her from that point on. They told me she was really timid and scared, she had been hiding in her current place, but I was so impressed with how curious and confident she is. She was wary at first, a bit flinchy, didnt like being petted with 2 hands, didnt like loud noises, wouldnt come on the bed or sofa, wouldnt come into the living room really. I put child locks on alot of doors but shes not mischivous so its never really been an issue. She loved to play from the get go and did come to me for a fuss from day one. I adore her basically. The first time she jumped on the sofa, sat next me on the bed, slept on my bed, let me stroke her with 2 hands, her first vet trip, every little first and win has always been a massive victory, Im a v proud mama. She was no name for a few days but quickly somehow became my Myshka (the whole long list I had went quickly out the window somehow)
Did some more regular yoga. Tried to do 5 weight workout a week but it was a bit random. Walks fell off because of anxiety over leaving the cat. 
October
Alot of WFH to be with the cat. Definately obsessed. 
We had our team day on a farm, that was lovely
Saw my friend for Halloween - watched Hocus Pocus for the first time, had cocktails, watched a boring horror movie then Rocky Horror which is just exceptional. Lockdown 2.0 was announced but we were tipsy and over it. 
A very stressful month work-wise, lots of deadline, threat of Ofsted, management changes, admin changes, not getting enough sleep because work stress and struggling with productivity. My health suffered a bit too because I didnt have time for lunchtime exercise anymore. 
November
Technically there was a lockdown but it felt no different because everyone was still in school and work, I dont think people even tried this time. 
The election, refreshing the results constantly. I fully expected a T win and was happy when he didnt but still disappointed at how close it was, as was everyone 
I bought my first Christmas tree and my own decs. Christmas shopping obvs. 
I downloaded Tiktok and started to question far too much about my identity. its ongoing. 
Most important was SUPERNATURAL. I had alot of feelings, it was an absolute rollercoaster my god. What a time to be alive that was. 
A couple of outside coffees in the park which is always nice. I went to a new friend’s house for tea and met their dog, also nice. 
I did a SV for the first time in a very long time and it reminded me of everything I used to hate about my old job, so happy to have left there
Test weekend taking the cat to stay with the family dogs, she did great, shes a champ
December
Pretty standard Christmas month. Had a christmas movie night with themed snacks and hot chocolate with one friend. Had another friend come for the day to do the same - first time I had seen her in a year after 3 cancellations, that was very lovely
Constant restriction changes and crappy government pissing me off but it didnt affect my plans luckily
All the Tier 2, Face Hands Space signs feeling very dystopian
Brother’s 30th plans got cancelled coz COVID. Back up NYE plans got cancelled got COVID. Actual NYE was fine tho the normal show/song/crowd was cancelled coz of course COVID 
OVERALL
Not so good shit
I mean the whole thing in general yknow
Alot of plans couldn’t go ahead - various groups I wanted to join, a new gym, more nights out with more people, more chances to meet new people ETC
My diet has been an inconsistet shit show BUT TFB there were months where you couldnt predict what was going to be on the shelves, you couldnt get orders and the whole world felt so pointless and dark like why even care about that shit yknow
My exercise also wasnt consistent though I dont feel too bad about it. I was always doing something I feel like even if it was just walking
Ive ended the year with the same amount of savings I started with which isnt exactly bad since I moved and furnished a flat and got a new pet but it isnt great
I hate WFH with a burning passion and im worried the world has accepted that as a new normal and im not okay with it
None of this shit is over yknow
Just a general hopelessness is the face of big world things yknow. Theres really nothing we can do about it, just gotta ride that wave and vote when ya can
No travel - I had such plans!!
Good shit
My new fur baby who I love and adore beyond sanity
Starting a good job in a great city with lovely people
Growing so much in confidence because Fuck it, everything is pointless anyway and theres no point in planning or caring so imma just do me
Exploring so much of who I am through new relationships, my own environment, little things like exploring my style, picking up old hobbies, trying new routines and habits
Strengthening some friendships and maintaining others despite the insane obstacles
Maintaining a positive relationship with My Mum in particular, and my whole family
Trying new things in my new city. Still managing nights out, a somewhat proper birthday and a short trip
No actual mental breakdowns which this year feels like a win. My mental health is actually in such a better place then it was this time last year. The job was killing me, thank fuck I got out when I did 
I redid more then 1 30 day programs and did 2 straight months of weights 
My family, friends and I are all safe and well 
Music of the year:
Hamilton
An awful lot of Panic! 
Anyone - DL
Partition (idk dont question me)
Basically alot of drama while trying to hold on to both my emo and club days - fuck I miss clubbing yall. I dont even like clubbing. 
Media of the year:
I should acknowledge Shameless even though I came full circle on it and have now fully abandoned the whole thing and prefer my own AU where Milkoviches get what they deserve 
Schitts Creek
Supernatural 
Hamilton obvs
Marvel technically, it was alot of hours
Staged
Derry Girls
Pose
The Old Guard
Pride - which is not new but we watched it on Christmas eve and I cried in my mums lap okay 
Ship of the year has to be Destiel I mean standing ovation for that rage inciting moment followed by a solid month of absolute chaotic good, it was glorious in its destruction. 
2021 INTENTIONS TO FOLLOW 
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lsesu · 5 years
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Not getting on with your housemates? Everything you need to know from dirty dishes to rent disputes
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We understand that living with other people can be difficult. Real life isn’t like ‘Friends’ and flatmates don’t always exist together in perfect harmony. There are many reasons why things may not be going smoothly with your new housemates and this blog post will help you navigate various flatmate disputes. The list is not exhaustive, so please visit the SU Advice Team to seek a second opinion on your own housing problems.
What if my flatmate has stopped paying their rent?
Most houses with more than one person will have what is called a ‘jointly and severally liable’ tenancy. This means that you signed the contract together and all your names are listed on the agreement. Therefore, everyone in the house has a joint responsibility to pay rent and look after the property. This sounds harmonious in principle, but it also means that if one person stops paying their share of rent, the others will need to cover this so that the landlord receives the full amount. You may be able to take legal action against the flatmate to get back the money they owe you via the courts. We advise you keep anything discussed between you regarding rent in writing (including WhatsApp messages and emails) in case it does get to that stage.
If you have your own individual tenancies for each of your rooms, then the landlord can chase that person for their rent and it will not affect your tenancy.
My flatmate’s really noisy and doesn’t do their washing up. Help!
If you have a joint tenancy with a landlord, each tenant is responsible for sorting out problems amongst themselves and the landlord would only get involved in exceptional circumstances. In that case, you might want to look at informal forms of resolution, such as getting a neutral party (maybe a mutual friend) to mediate between you, or by organising a flatmate meeting to each discuss your issues in an open forum.
If the landlord wants to evict just one tenant for breaching the tenancy agreement, they’d have to serve notice on all of you as breaches are considered jointly. However, if the landlord empathises that the issues were caused by one person, they may decide to offer the rest of you a new tenancy once the original tenancy has ended. We advise you speak to your landlord directly about this if you want to stay on without the problem flatmate.
If you have separate tenancy agreements (one for each of your rooms) and one of the other tenants is causing problems, then your landlord may be able to help you resolve this. You can raise the issues with them, and they may choose to evict that housemate without it impacting upon your own tenancy agreement.
What if my flatmate won’t pay their share of the bills?
Usually in a flat share, you all agree between you to pay an equal share of the utility bills such as gas, water and electricity (full-time students are exempt from council tax.) Usually, one person will volunteer to open accounts with the utilities suppliers and this will be in their name. If this is you, you will be responsible for the whole of the bill until the end of the contract. If the others won’t pay their share, you will usually have to pay the whole of the bill and try to take legal action against the others for the money. You would have to be able to prove that you made the contract on behalf of others, so we advise you get the provider to agree to this in writing from the beginning.
On the other hand, if the bills are jointly opened from the outset, then anyone listed on that contract can be asked to pay the full share if the others don’t. If you end up being the person lumped with the bill, you may be able to take legal action against them to return the money they owe you via the courts.
I can’t stand it anymore! How can I leave early?
It’s very important that you get your contract checked before you move in to a property, and seek expert advice if you want to leave early. Most contracts are what’s called an Assured Shorthold Tenancy (AST) and will be for a set fixed term e.g. 12 months. Once the agreement has been signed, you will be liable to pay the rent until that fixed term is over unless there are any explicit clauses that state otherwise.
There are some types of legal early exits. A break clause can allow tenants to leave a contract early and this will usually specify when it can be used e.g. only at 6 months and afterwards. Alternatively, landlords might agree to an early surrender, which may be negotiated and explicitly agreed between both parties in writing. The landlord is under no legal obligation to agree to this in the absence of a break clause, so keep in mind that you may be relying on their kindness.
If everyone signed an individual tenancy agreement just for their rooms, then you are only responsible for your part of the rent until the end of the agreement (or before a legal early exit). Everyone else’s tenancies won’t be affected.
If you signed a joint tenancy agreement, you are all legally responsible for the whole of the rent until the end. One person cannot use a break clause just for themselves. You could try finding someone else to take over your tenancy and pay your share of the rent but this will depend on whether your landlord and the other people you live with agree. This route can also have an impact on the deposit and whether you or the new tenant is responsible. A way to avoid this would be for the whole tenancy to be surrendered and then re-drawn with the remaining tenants and your replacement. This completely surrenders the tenancy you were involved in and starts one afresh.
If you find yourself in this situation, do seek expert housing advice. Speaking with your landlord about what options are available may also be helpful.
My flatmate is being threatening /harassing me. What should I do?
If you ever feel immediately threatened in your home, we advise you use your judgement to call emergency services on 999.
If you think you’re being harassed because of your gender, disability, race, religion, transgender identity or sexual orientation, you can report the harassment to the police as a hate incident or a crime. You can find details of your local police station on the Police.UK website.
If your flatmate is another LSE student, you can raise their behaviour with the school. The School and the SU have members of staff who can help you decide what to do, advise you on what may happen next and explain how you can be supported. You can let the school know about this here. The report will be confidential and followed up by an independent support team.
- Blog written by Helen Clarke. Helen Clarke is a Student Adviser in the LSE Students’ Union and a member of the Advice Team.
The LSESU Advice Team is based on the 3rd floor of the Saw Swee Hock Building and we provide free, independent and confidential advice to all LSE students on academic and housing matters. We also administer a hardship and childcare fund.
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