#to my non-swiftie followers: *whispers* it’s ok.. just scroll past.. you didn’t see anything..

[moonlightdancer26]

My predicted ratings of Taylor Swift’s songs in her upcoming album The Tortured Poets Department:

(hey, so basically to anyone who isn’t a Swiftie, this post is gonna make zero sense to you so just ignore this lol)

1. Fortnight — 5/10, I genuinely don’t think I’ll like it, maybe it’s bc the AI version on tiktok isn’t my style at ALL and kinda ruined it for me. Plus the title doesn’t stick out at all and I’m so sad that this song is track 1, esp considering her most recent album Midnights had an iconic opening track.

2. The Tortured Poets Department — 8/10, I always LOVE her title tracks and I’m so excited for this one.

3. My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys — 7/10, the title doesn’t really stick out to me but I feel like it’s gonna end up being an amazingly catchy song. Negative points for the easy rhyme. (“boy” “toy”)

4. Down Bad — 10/10, I’M CLAIMING THIS SONG IDC IDC, I HAVE SUCH HIGH HOPES

5. So Long, London — 10/10, I’m actually terrified to listen to this song bc not only is it TRACK FIVE, but I know for a fact that I’ll sob. I’M SO EXCITED AND SCARED.

6. But Daddy I Love Him — 5/10, not too bad not too good, love the Little Mermaid reference but idk something tells me that I won’t vibe with this song

7. Fresh out the Slammer — 6.5/10, the title’s interesting and I have no idea what to expect

8. Florida!!! — 4/10, hate to say it but I feel like this might be my least favourite

9. Guilty as Sin? — 10/10, ALSO CLAIMING THIS SONG, I’m so excited for this omgg

10. Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? — 6/10, I feel like the lyrics are gonna be similar to her song Anti-Hero, which makes me super happy, but I’m deducting points for the painfully corny title.

11. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) — 9/10 for relatability reasons. Like damn Taylor thanks for calling me out. But also there’s a SLIGHT possibility that this song is about M*tty Healy and I am simply very concerned about that.

12. loml — 7.5/10, I just KNOW it isn’t just gonna stand for “love of my life.” Taylor’s too much of a genius to use that abbreviation for its common meaning.

13. I Can Do It With A Broken Heart — 7.5/10, -2.5 points for the corny title, but I do expect to cry when I hear this song, and well, who doesn’t love songs that make you want to rip your hair out?

14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived — 9/10, I saw someone on tiktok say there’s a correlation between this and the story of Rumpelstiltskin and it blew my mind. I have high hopes for this

15. The Alchemy — 9/10, manifesting that this sounds like The Archer and has parallels to Invisible string (“a single thread of gold tied me to you”) 🙏🏼🙏🏼

16. Clara Bow — 9/10, I just know this song is gonna be interesting and addicting as hell

On April 19, I’ll reblog this post after I listen to the full album and I’ll confirm or deny these predicted ratings. If anyone wants to join in on this, go ahead!

#i saw swifties doing this on tiktok so why not jump on the bandwagon #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #to my non-swiftie followers: *whispers* it’s ok.. just scroll past.. you didn’t see anything..