#tired of the idea trans men are just cis men with surgery scars. that certainly can be the case but good lord | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

artbyadesina · 6 years

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Food for thought. Gender dysphoria does not mean trans. “Woman” does not mean “acts like a girl,” and many of us feel gender dysphoria as a result of societal expectations & the way we are treated, and/or for behaving “like men.” That does not mean we need to become male. Why can’t we just allow women to express themselves however they want, acknowledge that some gender dysphoria is caused by external influences, and keep our female bodies & identities intact?

We need to continue to work to dismantle gender roles. Gender is a social construct. Sex is biological. We should not have to cut open our bodies and deny our biology, just to be who we are, and feel good as we are. That being said, of course everyone can make their own individual choice and do whatever they want to themselves. There are people who get cosmetic surgery to change their bodies every day, from nose jobs to tummy tucks; and no one is stopping them, so certainly we should not stop people who identify as trans from changing their bodies accordingly. It’s their body, and therefore their choice, and frankly, I don’t think they should even need a diagnosis to do it. Do what you want with your own body; it’s no one else’s business.

But at the same time, we must not, as a society, give credence to the idea that there is only one way to “feel” like a woman, or like a man, and that if you don’t conform to gender stereotypes, or if you don’t feel 100% comfortable with your sex organs, it must be because you were born the wrong sex. That is a dangerous assumption. If you are a woman, however you feel, is as a woman feels. And if you are a man, however you feel, is as a man feels. And a lot of how we feel about our own bodies, sex organs included, is affected by societal messages, literally getting under our skin. You don’t need to switch to the other sex, in order to be as socially masculine, or feminine, as your personality and preference dictate. And it’s worth exploring therapy, to unpack dysphoric feelings about your body, before resorting to the knife (and I feel that way about any cosmetic surgery, in fact. Because while I would never presume to tell anyone what to do, out of concern I’d always suggest the less invasive/dangerous tactic, and I’d hope others would do the same for me).

Encouraging people to feel so constrained by gender roles that they need to take hormones and get surgery in order to accept themselves, or to be accepted by others, is affecting real human beings, cutting open real bodies and leaving real scars. It’s old fashioned sexist conservatism, masquerading as progressive, queer-positive thinking. There is nothing queer-positive about actively encouraging gender nonconforming & dysphoric people to go on hormones, cut open their bodies, and put their very lives at risk. Just ask those who have detransitioned.

Check out this video by Faye, where she reconciles with being female after after detransitioning.

I relate to much of what she described growing up, and I too went through a period of thinking I should have been born male, and I was quite horrified by puberty. That doesn’t mean I am trans. It means society needs to stop sending little girls the message that we need to like wearing dresses and playing with Barbie dolls in order to be proper girls, or that our female parts are fetishistically sexual. It means that a woman should be able to garner as much respect, earn as much money, and be treated with the same amount of dignity, whether she’s in heels and dolled up to the nines, or wearing men’s trousers and no makeup.

Some people assume I am “girly” because I dress and act a certain way. Or that I am straight, because I don’t publicly claim otherwise. No! It’s because that’s the easiest way for most women to survive, in our regressive, anti-feminist-but-pretending-to-be-feminist 2018 society. I truly believe I’d have an easier time being accepted as a transmale (after taking hormones of course), if I were to be true to my own clothing, activity, and behavioral preferences, than I would as a butch female, especially considering that I am petite and in my current natural state, I have a “feminine” face and body (whatever that means). If one is praised for looking like a Bratz doll, but ridiculed for wearing normal, comfortable (i.e. “male”) clothing, just because one is born female (and looks it), then of course one would gravitate toward that behavior which provokes less negative attention. It has nothing to do with personal preference. Some of us are just trying to survive, and gender-conformity is an expedient. Conversely, if I was a lot taller and more “masculine” looking, I might have well opted to become trans, if that was more effective than trying to conform as a woman. Most of us just don’t have the time and energy to constantly deal with harassment and other people’s bullshit. So we do what we have to do, to fit in and get by. It’s not necessarily an indicator of identity and it doesn’t always come from within.

This notion that only trans people feel gender dysphoria is flawed. I know so many “cis” females who feel uncomfortable in their own skin, simply because society pushes ridiculous stereotypes on us, and we are treated like pieces of meat every time we leave the house. Or alternatively, as Faye experienced, we are told we are not good enough because we cannot live up to those stereotypes, or that we are “manly” for being homosexual. And the solution, now, is to transition to male, rather than just to eradicate gender stereotypes and help women develop self-love? I hope not, but that seems to be where we are today, and it’s terribly disheartening.

I’m not here to criticize trans people; I don’t care what other people do with their own bodies, and I respect other people’s identities; no skin off my back to call others whatever they want to be called. But I am tired of being told that I wish I was male, or that I’m trying to be a man, or that maybe I’m trans, anytime I step out of the tiny, circumscribed box that societal gender roles have built around us. I am a woman, and that is my biological reality, regardless of how I behave, and I am fine with that biological reality (at least until some man comes along and harasses me for it). And if I am uncomfortable with my body, it’s because I am being constantly sexualized by men. There is nothing inherently sexy about the female form; it is just a normal, functional, human form, and as such, we need to recognize when female gender dysphoria is being caused by society’s bullshit attitudes towards female bodies, rather than automatically positing that dysphoria, as a sign of being trans.

A feminist analysis of the criteria used to treat gender dysphoria in women needs to be undertaken; men and women’s experiences in this world are different, and therefore the same mental condition can have different causes, and require different treatment, in men compared to women. I am very concerned about the increasing number of women who are transitioning to male based on their dysphoria, without getting properly analyzed and having their dysphoria assessed through a feminist lens, that understands & considers the sexist hierarchy that we all live in. Most women I know feel some kind of gender dysphoria; shall we all now become men, in order to “treat” our “dysfunction?” Or can we not see that this is proof that society is still sexist and broken, and that we need to continue to aim for social equality (social, not just legal) and the rejection of gender roles as the default?

#genderdysphoria

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