because of y'all, I've finally bought the adjustable desk I needed to upgrade my workspace 🥺 I'm so excited to clean and reorganize my office area and have more space for storage and art!!!!
now to get the perfect desk organizers, that were made specifically for me and according to my tastes:
the desk is an early bday gift from myself to me but if y'all wanna pitch in to fill out my workspace and make my 26th even more fun, here's my wishlist 💗✨ (you fund the gifts, sellers ship to me!)
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eh, well, I made a throne account for folks who'd like to to send me something nice but don't wanna do the ol subscription-to-ko-fi thing.
Mainly made it in hopes of crowdfunding stuff I need, like a new chair, new pillows, and new pillowcases. Everything else is just a lil "haha heehee this is here for fun" kinda thing.
Don't feel obligated to contribute anything! It's a-okay!
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March 4, 2024 Edit of this still relevant post from February 27, 2024
For those that view any of my online presences (including my blogs)…Um, this is something for you to know.
Please save this post so it doesn’t get buried by queue.
My& Current Health Situation
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I wish to communicate this to y’all now so that…I don’t end up worrying anyone when this happens. It may have been noticeable by some folks that I’m dragging, heavily. I’m not having a good time right now with my body. With this comes with an onion of issues detailing certain aspects of what I’m going through.
I know I have a lot of obligations. Not only as a creative and content creator; but as a friend, a mentor, Guardian or even older peer, and myself. I’ve neglected myself for too long. I have been noticing my vitality decrease; and my CFS and POTS flaring up further.
Social Justice is something I’m always perceiving and sensitive to; and as such, the strain I’ve noticed too late has been worsening. Includes many emotional meltdowns and outbursts from me that I can no longer control or hold back.
Trying to figure out how to exactly sort through the mass tangles of my traumatized emotional and mental state isn’t as simple as I hoped for me. While I’m creatively burned out, I am suffering Autistic burnout. A double whammy of all things.
I’m finding myself getting “stuck,” unable to physically move for hours at a time. I’d move upstairs to eat something but end up being there for what’s normally an half hour task…for nearly 2+ hours. Even so, trying to force movement to do tasks that is considered “everyone can do these” is mentally painful and physically locking. Even if I have to desperately use the bathroom when I’m about to fall asleep, my headmates (AKA alters) have to switch to co-front or “snatch me back” in order to get my body moving. That’s with the sudden rocket spike in heart rate and blood pressure, and loss of balance (at the very least).
I’m already struggling to cope with many things due to the fact that I haven’t been able to draw much at all; or create anything and write anything. Especially trying desperately to fulfill my word on things I had the energy to do, but no longer do. So much of my struggles I can’t properly transmute. It’s so upsetting.
Thus, there’s going to be a sudden and abrupt shift in posting or messaging. I don’t know when. But it is coming.
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(Especially since I’ve been feeling mania over the weekend. All weekend, Saturday and Sunday, I manic cleaned large portions of certain areas I occupy as well as my housemate. Today I’m feeling the aching in my joints badly, with my calves swearing hell at me. I’m wearing my wrist brace too, I just…I’m rambling.)
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I wish for you to know what’s happening if you don’t see or hear from me, my headmates, or any of my online presences (as depicted here: https://cjoatbysamwise.com/cjoats-links ) No one is being forgotten. I’m not abandoning anyone. I’m not ghosting anyone. What I do know (still coming to terms with it ngl) is I need to stop, fully stop, and recover. It’s looking like my body is going to do that for me by force. It’s going to be abrupt and sudden to the inconvenience of many, including my housemate, unfortunately.
I don’t know how long this will last. But I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep “hustling” like this. Does this sound repetitive? I wanted to communicate before suddenly I’m unable.
Does this sound repetitive? I’ll end it here. I wanted to communicate before suddenly I’m unable.
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I’ll end it here with how you can support me while I’m down, only able to and wish to (I’m aware financial situations are a big struggle at the moment, there is no pressure to.)
Provide support by these links:
Thank you for reading until the end; have an awesome week ahead. Please remember to hydrate and eat. 🫶🏽❤️🩹
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this tiny fairy I drew of myself presents …. my wishlist categories on Throne that I just added descriptions to and organized so finding and buying gifts should be easier :3
If you send me a screenshot of your purchase then I’ll send you pictures of me using/wearing whatever you get for me when it arrives, and any gift over $15 gets you a video! the more expensive the item, the longer the video and/or the more photos you’ll get.
You can also request any content I’ve teased on here or posted to onlyfans if you want something I’ve already made instead! Please keep in mind that you will still have to wait for me to receive the gift(s) before I send any content.
if you have any problems purchasing something from my wishlist please send me a DM or an ask on here so I can try my best to take care of it!
thank u for supporting me whenever/however you can, I always appreciate it <3
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Hey idk who it was who paid for the pillows on my throne page, since you're anonymous and all, but thank you so much???? this is going to SERIOUSLY help me out, I've needed to replace my pillow for ACTUAL YEARS.
I'm gonna be able to sleep so super good again, thank you so much :')
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