#this isn't some newfangled surprising take

[waltwhitmansbeard]

24, Scanlan and Kaylie?

24. "Sit still. Let me sign your cast." ig i'm gonna set this in grow with the flow bc that's my modern au?

The waiting room smells like blood and bleach. The cracked plastic seats are uncomfortable as hell, and Scanlan's ass is too old to be sitting like this. Seriously, how long can it take to put a cast on?

(Alright, Scanlan actually has no idea how long it takes to put a cast on, because he wasn't there when Kaylie broke her arm falling from the monkey bars in the third grade. He takes a deep breath. Patience.)

Every ninety seconds, his phone buzzes with a new questioning text from his friends, but he doesn't read them. What's he going to say? He doesn't know how Kaylie is feeling, because she didn't want him in there while she got her X-rays done, and he doesn't know how he's feeling, because he doesn't know how he's allowed to be feeling. Does it make him a bad dad if he's grateful that Sybil is away on business at the moment, leaving him as the available emergency contact? (There are so many things that make him a bad dad.) He just stares at the muted TV up in the corner, watching some daytime host mediate manufactured drama between family members—a little too on-the-nose for the moment, but it's not like he picked it.

Finally, there's movement in the hall to the right, and Scanlan slides painfully from the chair to see his daughter, pink-haired and scowling, being wheeled in his direction, a haggard nurse pushing the chair from behind. Kaylie's expression doesn't change when she comes into earshot. "You didn't need to come."

Scanlan raises an eyebrow at the thick cast encompassing her leg from ankle to knee. "You broke your leg. Were you going to drive yourself home?"

"They invented these newfangled things called buses—"

"Mr. Shorthalt," the nurse interrupts, clearly exhausted, "if I could just get you to sign the release paperwork..."

"Right." Scanlan takes a clipboard from her, doesn't read it, and signs where it seems appropriate. "C'mon, Kaylie, let's get you home."

Kaylie opens her mouth to issue what Scanlan is sure to be a scathing retort, but then the nurse swears low under her breath. "I forgot her medication. Give me two minutes." And then she scurries back down the hall, leaving Scanlan and his daughter to each other's company.

Scanlan wheels her out of the way, sitting in another ass-punishing chair beside her. There is horrifically awkward silence between them for a few moments, then Scanlan says, "You know I broke my toe once kicking an amp?"

Kaylie side-eyes him. "Really?"

He shrugs. "Couldn't get the sound I wanted. Thought beating the amp into submission would help. The amp won that fight."

And he can see it, though she's clearly trying to hide it: the ghost of a smile on the corner of her mouth. "Better than falling off a stage in an attempt to knee-slide like a rock god."

"At least you did it in rehearsal and not during an actual show. I was playing this dive bar once and thought I could chug an entire pint during the bridge of this one song. Ended up puking on the front row."

There's a choked-off laugh in the back of Kaylie's throat that feels like the greatest victory Scanlan's ever managed. "Okay, that's...that's bad."

"You're telling me." He stands up, goes over to the front desk, and steals a Sharpie someone abandoned. When he returns to Kaylie, who's eying him skeptically, he says, "Sit still. Let me sign your cast."

He's expecting her to move just to fuck with him, but as he starts to scrawl over the hot pink plaster, she surprises him (always surprising him, this one) by keeping her leg still. When he's done, he straightens up. "There."

She twists her leg and her torso to get a better angle on what he's signed just below her knee. Nothing broken that isn't worth fixing. —Your #1 fan. There's a begrudging smile on her face as she looks at him. "Your handwriting is shit."

"So is your knee-sliding."

She gapes in offense, but before she can say anything, the nurse is back, orange bottle in hand and clearly eager to be rid of them both. Kaylie is helped into the back of Scanlan's car, and then they're off toward his place, where they're going to have to figure out together how to deal with a broken leg and all the years he's missed. He watches her in the rearview, falling asleep against the door with her leg stretched out across the seat, and yeah, okay, he's a bad dad, but fuck is he grateful for the chance to fix what he broke, one bone at a time.

#ask #blorbologist #critical role #critical role fic #critical role au #cr fic #cr au #vox machina #vox machina fic #vox machina au #tlovm #tlovm fic #tlovm au #my fic #grow with the flow au

[mamabearwonders]

Dear Little Lion Cub🦁,

I'm going to just happy cry thinking about you. You're such a sweetheart. I love you so much. And your hugs are the most precious thing ever.

We met a long, long, LONG time ago. Far, far away in a magical lion kingdom. June 25th, 2023! YA I know right? I met Little Fox🦊 on June 17th. So, you were just another blessing I didn't know we had! The best kind! Surprise! The system kind of surprise! More lovable people to love! I got a fox AND a lion cub (dw, I did not forget the other lovelies, I'm making posts about them tooo)!🥳

I need a pack of tissues or a Little Lion Cub🦁 hug. Happy tears! We originally didn't know your name - WHOA! Ikr? Because we say it all the time now, huh, little cub? Cub!! Cub!! Hi, cub! We missed you! Then you do your little happy dance and happy flappy hands. We love happy hands.

But we didn't know your name. Not even you! But🦊thought you deserved a name because he loves you and we all deserve a name! And I probably cried (happy cry). Then I asked both of you if you were comfy fronting. And I'm so so glad you did.🦁

You were SO scared when we first met. But look at you go now! You are not afraid to send me a whole solar system galaxy of messages🌌 and ASK for things now! It's nice to see you really relax and be more confident in how you talk because I know🦈 helps you out and he and me are both 3,000 years old (love you🦈) so we're not too hip with the newfangled youth words. I love how I also think of how as my own kid but he's older than ME lol. (promise I love you, I'll take you to an aquarium or calligraphy shop,🦈).

ANYWAY.

I love how you went from shy to still shy, but confident because shy isn't a bad thing. I love the colors game with you. And I can't wait to see what else your brilliant mind (which you did not get from mom LOL) comes up with. You're so smart and always teach me things every day.

You have so much patience. When I stepped back for a little bit because this is new to me- you still loved me and were patient as a saint. 📿 I have never raised little ones before- just once, but it's a long story which I'll share with you someday. But you've helped me heal so much. All of us. You may be little, but little ones change the world! You have a BIG impact. And you're big important too.

You've helped 🦊out so much. Whenever he's really depressed, you're a light that gets him through those dark scary storms⛈️. I appreciate you so much, but I'm happy you know you do a good job looking for others, but you know you matter too! And you let us love you up and take care of you!

You're a tough cookie, little cub🦁. But you shouldn't have to be! We got you. You and 🦊 and🦈 can just relax now. Mom's got you. Hey maybe we can get🦈 to color some pictures sometime huh? 🎨

One of my favoritest things about you (if I can narrow it down) is when you get excited about things. You'll find something and just go "Mom! Mom! MOM!!!" and you'll be like: I found this cool sticker! And that sticker! And this one too!! And you just get so into it. Tbh I could hear you talk about the paint on the wall for hours and I'd just be sitting there smiling and listening.😊

I love how you've jumped onto calls too! I know it's a little new for you🦁and you've been hesitant a bit calling me. You do what you feel most comfy with, but I love when🦊 is on the call then you pop in and you feel so happy. I like how you join into story time too. I WISH there was a way- and hey!

Where there's a will, there's a way (that was a phrase me and🦈 used back in our day). I wanna get all of you together at once for Blues Clues🐶🍿(movie popcorn) and for storytime. I know Shark is always kind of AROUND. And doesn't say hi to little old me. 🙄💁🏽‍♀️Okay now I see the sass that🦊 says I have. And 🦈. But I'm not sassy in your eyes, rightttt? 😇

So I'm going to have to learn because you have the best meals ideas. And I bet the super duper cool meals you have will inspire🦊 too. But he says I have- a lack of seasoning- but hey, I cook with LOVE so same thing right? We'll learn how to cook together. I'm sure pizza dough will end up on the ceiling and the fun shaped pasta will end up out the window in a shrub somewhere where 🦈 is probably chilling out.

You're my whole heart, sweetheart. How lucky am I to have a lion cub, a fox cub, a shark cub- ALL CUBS! And we'll have to see what one of our other little friend's, Lil Rolly's🛹favorite animal is. But I know everyone is taking good care of him until he has the energy to front.

You're the best thing since sliced bread. I remember when sliced bread first came out. Back when you could get a whole loaf, peanut butter AND jelly and a plate for a nickel.🍞I'm so just kidding, bread wasn't invented when mom was young.

You're so caring and thoughtful and nice. I can say that and those things are true. But beyond that - you are truly a very, very intelligent kid. I think kids are smarter than most adults! I never wanted to tame your spirit as some parents do - I want you to embrace your big little cub lion heart. 🦁

What a privilege it is to see that continue to grow. 🪴Never dim your big light, little one for those who say it's too bright. For those who love you like mom, we know that light is a light of hope, a light of refuge, a light of healing for all of us and for you. 🕯️

Despite all the traumatic things we've seen and been there, all the pain that some of us feel, you've been so soothing. And you know you're your own person and that you deserve the same amount of care, but you are a treasure. And I want you to know how much amazing things you do and to never forget that little ones can do big things too.

I love you so so much! Forever and ever, little one.🦁

Love💙,

Mom🐘

[sins-and-hubris]

Good lord the camboy!Lurien post took me out. Both because of its concept and also fucking flukemarm as a pornstar!? W h a t ! ?

I was trying not to die in class reading that fkdndksnkdnskdnd

I also love how only Wl and pk could somehow wander onto porn accidentally while still trying to figure out these newfangled things. I also love that they both were able to clock him as Lurien immediately despite his best attempts to cover identifiable markings.

My question is how does lurien’s “studio” set up work? Is it just his bedroom that he adjusts so no one would recognize it? (Not that he lets many people in there anyways) and I’m snickering at the thought of him editing these videos in his post nut fall as he realizes this is what he’s spending his time on. But hey, hella money for nice fancy paints.

YEP Flukemarm is a pornstar, that's how she feeds all those babies she pops out. She's basically the lead actress of all those really weird but oddly popular vids that frequent pornsites- you know, the super oiled up, busty ladies screaming and jittering all over the place? That's her. And honestly good for her bc she's making a killer profit off of it, but you can also kinda see why Lurien shot up in popularity; not only is he a butterfly, which is super rare in Hallownest, he's also a quiet dude with an eye for pretty dildos, a need for bigger and/or spiker cocks, and he's got a lot of hella good roleplay scenarios after years of self-suppression (also his servant/master kink is hot as hell bc a good portion of the way he'd filter his feelings for pk to be 'acceptable' would be channeled through serving him and caring for him so like. yeah. he'd be into that).

And don't put it past PK and WL to stumble on porn when they're trying to figure out what the public was doing with computers! PK probably made the prototypes and had to scale them down significantly to allow them to be manufactured, so him fiddling around on the internet would 100% be something he'd do with WL when in bed after a long day as some sort of bonding activity. WL herself isn't much of a computer scientist, but she'd love seeing her husband be fascinated with how his bugs took his gift into their claws, and she'd be interested in how they socialized with one another without the help of pheromones or physical/vocal cues. It's inevitable that they would have stumbled across the pornsites, since sex is hardly taboo in Hallownest, and it wouldn't take much for them to figure out about Lurien by tracking people's recommendations. Plus they're two of the very few people who actually know what Lurien looks and sounds like, esp. when he's rapt with emotion, so it would only take a glance at him or hearing him moan for them to know it was him. WL would probably be delighted, honestly, while PK would cycle between being surprised, being supportive, and struggling not to be horny as fuck

As for Lurien's studio setup, I figured it would just be on the floor of the room by his bed, since almost nobody enters his bedroom anyways, and he has heavy curtains around the nook where he keeps his sleeping quarters to close it off anyways. Throw some pillows and towels down, drape some tapestries over the window and lumafly lights to change the colour of the room, and nobody would have the faintest idea where he was. His butler might with a little bit of squinting, but Lucien's more old-school with terrible written pornography so that wouldn't happen anyways

Also, y e a h, he would hate editing those videos sjkfdhgb. Still, there's post-nut mortification and then there's shiny paints that cost an arm and a leg to get otherwise, so he continues anyways. Not to mention he'd probs have to pay more for his dildos, straps, and fleshlights, because his internal anatomy isn't really suited to be pleasured by most commercial beetle dicks, and the strap-ons would have to be magicked in order for him to derive pleasure from them. I feel like prosthetics for trans men would be a lot more accessible in Hallownest than in our world bc of the no transphobia thing, but that doesn't eliminate the fact that casting the spells necessary to have them transmit sensation + finding one that fits right and doesn't chafe against your clit is still a problem

#anon #reply #camboy lurien #camboy!au #i love this au so fucking much its so fun #also hilarious by accident