#this isn't about that infodump post just to clarify; it's specifically about when I'm messaging people

[thethingything]

for the last couple of days our brain has kind of felt the way it does when we've not had any caffeine and our ADHD gets really bad and we start getting distracted all the time and having racing thoughts and being generally unhinged, except we've been drinking energy drinks so I know it isn't that.

our psychosis definitely started flaring up as well because we've had the usual stress induced hallucinations we get (usually just spiders and little orbs of light. it's whatever) but also really intense paranoia over how people perceive us, but it's combined with the racing thoughts and we keep just rambling and jumping from one thing to another while freaking out about doing exactly that.

so yeah anyway if I talk to anyone and it looks like I'm typing stuff really frantically or it doesn't make sense properly, that's probably why. I just felt like this was worth clarifying in case anyone noticed and wondered what the hell was going on

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #<- kind of? #this isn't about that infodump post just to clarify; it's specifically about when I'm messaging people #idk maybe keep this in mind if I do post like really unhinged vent posts or something? but it should be fine #also the psychosis and racing thoughts came along with suddenly feeling amazing and wanting to do loads of creative stuff #and we're not diagnosed with a mood disorder that would cause hypomania because our last therapist was like ''it's just mood swings'' #but we maybe kind of suspect that the week long episodes of this happening after intense stress might be that #so yeah I'm trying to manage that and be relatively hinged and not let our brain freak out too much #but I'm also jumping so fast between different trains of thought that it's disorienting and hard to keep track of what's going on #I don't want this to sound like an excuse for me being weird but I also think I'm probably just being paranoid about that too #I feel pretty vulnerable posting this but it's kind of that vs being even more paranoid because of people not knowing what's going on #slightly scared of people going ''oh my god you're insane. you're a freak'' because we have scary symptoms #and this specific combination of symptoms makes us feel like we've done some kind of irreversible mistake and ruined our life #even if all we've done is sit in bed and ramble to a couple of people who were very chill about it