#this is silly but happy birthday jouno

[judasgot-it]

I wanted to write something really quick for Jouno's birthday ngl, so here's some really cheesy dogshit

Happy Birthday to the blind king himself (ugh I miss him)

Scenario: Calling Jouno while he's at work. It becomes a little silly.

As much as Jouno hated the telephone, he hated the sounds of his coworkers even more.

What were they yelling for? It's four in the morning.

Who's even up at four in the morning?

Apparently them.

Every day. For the last 2 weeks.

Usually, he could have slept in for at least 3 more hours. Have a coffee that didn't taste like piss and tinfoil (everyday he hated whoever made the coffee in the lounge, no one would tell him the name of the moron who cheaped out on it. They weren't safe from him.) and get to tell his woe's to someone who didn't have rocks for brains.

But no. He was stuck here, at HQ, listening to reports that led their current case to nowhere.

Which led to yelling. Always yelling.

So answering the phone was honestly rather refreshing.

"..."

He waited a second. Why should he, of all people, speak first?

"Hello? Is Jouno there?"

Jouno felt time pause for a moment. He stopped, listening to the other members in the room.

They seemed rather distracted, not truly paying attention to what he was doing. Teruko and Tachihara were arguing and Tecchou was...he smelt gross, so probably working out.

"Sorry, who is this?"

He really hoped he was hearing wrong.

"Jouno, c'mon you know who I am. Why, is something wrong?"

When did you have their number? As far as he recalled, only government officials were ever given this number, and even that is far and few in between. He never let you know much about his work.

"I'm not trying to buy anything."

To Jouno's dismay, that failed miserably. Instead, all he heard was your laughter on the other side of the phone. Did you really think his misery was funny?

"If I find you, I'll kill you."

Jouno made threats as a part of his day-to-day life, it was easy to fake it towards you. But a part of him felt how he was cracking easily, hearing your obvious giggles as they thought of the next line to say.

"Ok ok. Sorry I know you're busy at work right now. But I really did call for something really important."

Taking a moment, Jouno sighed as he leaned against the small desk that held the phone. He waited a bit, listening to see if the others in the room were still ignoring him.

As much as he hated it, they seemed to actually notice that the "bad-things-are-happening-please-help" phone was called. His luck really is immaculate.

"How did you get this number again?"

There was a guilty laugh on your end. What had you so happy?

"Some other day, maybe. But that's not important! Jouno."

Jouno gave a very long sigh.

"Jouno, today is your birthday!"

"Yes."

He was really hoping he was as good of an actor as he thought he was, because he couldn't help how his heart was beating twice as fast at the thought of you remembering something so small.

"Are you coming home tonight?"

There was a pause.

Jouno didn't want to respond, because he hated the answer. Truthfully, he didn't know when he would have a 'normal' (for a hunting dog) workday.

He didn't even want to admit out loud how much he missed you.

"Oh, ok. You know, after your 'case' is over, we should get to celebrating. I have the perfect gift for you already, which definitely involves no clothes."

"No."

There was a pause on your end. He hated telling you no. Weird, since frankly breaking people's hearts was his favorite past time.

"Good idea. Uh..."

Jouno forced himself to listen back into the conference room, which was now weirdly quiet. There was also a small heartbeat very very close to him.

That was not a good sign.

"Thank you. Um."

He turned his head, bell-jingling against the phone, as he knew Teruko was looking up at him -probably with a shit eating grin.

"...I love you."

Sighing, he ate his pride, turning away.

"I love you too, Jouno. Happy birthday."

You sang it, not forcing him to endure the entire song. He hoped he was tall enough and facing enough away that Teruko couldn't see the smile on his face hearing those words.

When he hung up the phone, hearing the click and shut off the landline, he was forced to face his reality.

The one where he couldn't stop hearing his coworkers giggling. Particularly Teruko's, but even Tecchou was laughing somewhere deep in that stupid body of his that managed to breathe air.

He wanted to kick him.

"I didn't know you were in a relationship."

Tachihara said this nervously, but still with a smile in his voice.

"I'm not. I don't know who that was or how they got that number."

It was hard to say this seriously, as Jouno could feel the red creeping up on his face.

Happy birthday Jouno omfgggfgfg when is he coming back </3

#this is silly but happy birthday jouno #silly man is silly ?! #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x y/n #jouno x reader #jouno x you #jouno x y/n

[invidiia]

platonic yandere Jouno with reader (who he see as a little sister or sibling ) who has A LOT of stuffed animals (Headcanons and totally not self projecting )

-🌸

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ "see? i'm real." 𖤐 platonic yandere saigiku // reader.

jouno's a mean older brother lol

m.list // now playing..

[ a/n ; OMGOGMOMGOMGOM HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLOWER ANON HERE IS UR REQUESTTTT THAT I TOTALLY DIDNT FORGET ABOUT TIL UR BIRTHDAYY; i have a lot of stuffed animals too!! they take up my entire bed but its soo worth it. other note, i listened to this song while writing bc,, i love will wood ]

[ warning ; platonic yandere, jouno's mean sorry ]

⋆ jouno sees you as his younger sibling, and he cares for you an unnormal amount

⋆ he does like your stuffed animals. but jouno noticed a kind of dependency or obsession with them, and he doesn't like that. [i'm also self projecting el oh el]

⋆ so, even though jouno doesn't mind that you have a lot of stuffed animals, he gets upset when you take them with you while you're supposed to be with him for the day or something. what, were you here to see him, or the stuffed animal?

⋆ i feel like jouno would like to spend a lot of time with someone he views as a younger sibling, including taking them out to accompany him to run errands, and making sure to get you something so it's not completely like he's dragging you along to get stuff, even if that's what he's doing.. he just wants to spend time with you loll

⋆ but if you were to bring a stuffed animal with you, he'd probably take it from you 💔 he'd get you a drink to focus on instead of the stuffed animal, putting it away in a bag or something. no complaining, you're here for him, not the stuffed toys.

⋆ if he feels silly enough, he'll rip it's head off like it's nothing and hand it back to you before dragging you wherever you guys were going next. it can probably be sewn back on, don't worry!

[ i kinda feel the reader, i can't go anywhere without taking my shark or my octopus.. literally anywhere. i keep it in a bag most of the time but i hate being apart from my stuffed animals hcdfhjdfs ]

#platonic yandere #bsd x reader #yandere bsd #jouno x reader #yandere jouno #yandere jouno saigiku #platonic bsd #platonic yandere bsd #tw yandere #klya..🌸anon #KJSAEROGFRKEL;WKADFC