#this is influenced by me learning that Maleficent's daughter was the one to play young Aurora

[stubz]

Drill Day

'Attention participants, the drill will be starting in 1 minute. Take this time to prepare yourselves and to remember that everything that will happen is a simulation. Nothing can or will legitimately hurt you. Should you wish to stop the simulation tap the centerpiece of your vest and you will escorted off, should you be unable to do so simply say 'moon' and you will escorted off.'

"Okay the sound system is good, the holograms and drones are a go, and our actors are ready."

"I still don't know why we need actors when we have perfectly good holograms and drones." Glip didn't want to admit but she was a little hurt that Calis and the Captain didn't trust her work.

"We've been over this. As good as your holograms are they aren't physical which can lower the realism and while your drones are physical they can can be too predictable which is something we don't want. Hence the actors."

"Doubt they'll even be convincing." she grumbled.

.

To Glip's annoyance and Quip's entertainment the actor's where in fact convincing.

"What are you doing you idiot?! Your in a supply closet with tons of stuff around to use and you use a towel?? You deserve to be captured by enemy forces."

The poor Vrool get's tackled to the ground by an actor who roars in their face, fake fangs and mandibles making them ink themselves.

"Aw buddy, aw there we go! Good sportsmanship actor!" the actor uses the towel to clean the Vrool best they can before finding them a new uniform to change into them a before sending them to the 'jail' set up.

"Shlip who did they hire for this?" honestly this was some of the best simulation acting she's seen in a while.

"Some random ship members who had too much time and was down for a free dinner on Cap."

"Huh, any apexes?"

"Oh yeah, like two thirds of them. Those big ones dressed like a Mors Crawlers? That's a tighalax and a rextalian."

"Great asteroids no wonder those orcs were shaking."

"Yep," he said popping the p. "almost as terrifying as the real thing."

..

"Wait wait wait, hold the shlipping communicator, we got younglings doing this?"

"Oh quiznack. . .well it's probably gonna be toned down right, right?" he asked looking at his co-worker.

"Yeah, yeah it should be. Look. Like half the actors are leaving...leaving only the scariest ones left." they looked at each other concerned.

"CAAAPPPTAAAIN??"

"What!? Damnit Quip and Glip don't yell into the comms!"

"Are we actually sending younglings into this??"

"Isn't this like youngling endangerment?"

"The kids have been briefed about this and their parents signed off on this. Perfectly legal and safe. I also brought in some experts on this."

"Experts on scaring children?" who the shlip does that??

"Just do your jobs."

...

"OH MY GODS..HOW THE ACTUAL SHLIP?!"

"how the deq are these kids fine with this..."

Said younglings are being chased by actors, dressed as Mors Crawlers and Domitors, the actors giving them very little breathing room.

One of them swipe at the younglings with their prosthetic claws, catching on the little ones clothes. They yank back and the child is sent sprawling towards the jaws of the Domitor, the child's vest lights up red. They're out.

Some more children get caught by claws, tails, and wings. Each one of them are out.

The remaining few duck into an open vent too small for the predators to follow. They claw and roar at the entrance.

"HA! Can't get them now, score one nothing for the younglings!"

"Nope, look at screen 3."

While the actors at the entrance roared and thrashed a few of them ran through the halls until reaching the other side of the vent. Just as the children were coming out.

They could run but to where? Back into the vent? Forward into their pursuers?

Well they tried both.

The largest and strongest charged forward while the smallest ran back.

While the larger and stronger ones were from species known for their power and abilities, they were still younglings going against adults. After some struggling their vests turned red.

Only a handful of younglings reached the vent without getting caught. The ones inside were safe...for now.

....

'Only 5 minutes before the simulation is over. 5 minutes.'

"Well, looks the kids win this one."

"Good for them. They earned it."

"Yeah-hold up...what are they doing?"

The actors were...breaking the wall. They had grabbed chairs and any heavy objects they could and were using them to break down the wall.

"IS THIS ALLOWED?!"

"THERE'S NO WAY IT IS....gods wrath it is...JUST LET THE KIDS HAVE THIS!!"

When a foot of the vent was now revealed they grabbed it and started to pull. The other side, now aware of what was happening, started to push and increase their efforts in grabbing the younglings.

"They're pulling it...oh my gods they're pulling it out of the actual wall!"

"IT'S 15 FEET LONG THOUGH!!"

"HOW MUCH TIME IS LEFT?!"

"2 MINUTES."

Inch by inch the predators pulled out sections of the vent. Almost a third of the way done. The hole left behind now big enough to send over their smallest predator on the other side.

"BODY CAM BODY CAM"

"I'M DOING IT I'M DOING IT"

The beast crawled as fast as it could through the tunnel. The younglings yell and kick at its claws.

A child screams while being dragged out of the body cams view.

"They're dead."

"Yep, you owe me five tix."

"No, I betted on the other rextali-"

"MOON!"

Quip and Glip quieted. Then went into a flurry finding the right camera, searching for the child who said the safe word.

They found the child; Zyz, age 6 years old, species rextalian, being comforted by an actor. Face pressed into the adults fake fur while stroking the child's spine with their palms. Keeping their face and claws out of Zyz's view.

All the other actors around them softly put down the vent pieces and children already caught.

They then step back and then kneel or crouch. Claws are up or by their sides.

The children go to one another, checking up on each other, a few check on Zyz.

One of the actors slowly approaches Zyz on their knees. Hand out holding a tissue.

A tiny hand takes it. Along with the tissue.

And just like that all the other adults scoop up the children. Some are cradled into their chests, needing comfort and to not have them see their masks. Others are put onto their shoulders and backs, not as riled up or in a more playful mood. Some are tossed and dangled, to put them at ease despite the adrenaline coursing through their small bodies.

Soon the sniffles and hiccups are replaced by laughter and cheers.

The claws are replaced by warm sweaty hands.

Fangs and mandibles are replaced by sweaty smiling faces.

Wings and extra appendages are replaced by children hugging the tired actors.

"...they were HUMANS?!?"

"Hey it's Max! ...Ohhh that's whose a professional in scaring kids. That makes sense now."

#shlip is a space curse word #this is influenced by me learning that Maleficent's daughter was the one to play young Aurora #also by the video of that little girl who loved the monster costume #sometimes i play as a monster when with kids and they love it but sometimes it gets to be too much #so i either tone it down by kneeling and being quiet or by giving them space/a break #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #the adventures of kim and max running a space child care centre #not gonna lie I also get pretty competitive when chasing them and trying to catch them to the point where I will almost tackle them #or use their friends as bait to lure in the faster ones

[cogentranting]

Once Upon a Time Characters with the Most Wasted Potential

Recognizing that outside factors (such as actors leaving) influenced at least some of these. Does anyone care about posts like these for a show that’s been cancelled for two years? I don’t know but it doesn’t matter; this isn’t for you,  it’s for me and my need to rant about things like this as I rewatch the show. Now enjoy.

5. Jefferson Jefferson is just such a delight whenever he’s involved in the story. His love for his daughter makes him likable and sympathetic, but at the same time he’s never quite fully a good guy. He’s wonderfully chaotic, especially in his flashback appearances when he’s working for Rumple. A world-hopping treasure hunter, could have been woven into so many plots, especially if they continued to pull him into the middle, between the heroes and the villains. We never got any information on his wife, we never saw how things worked out with him and Grace, and he just would have been fun to add into more stories. If he’d been available to include in the Wonderland spinoff, even better (unless Will filled the role that would have been his, in which case, I’m very grateful we got Will). 

4. August As far as pure concept goes, August may be my favorite twist on a classic character. The idea of Pinocchio being sent into the real world, supposed to serve as big brother and protector to a magical savior, but abandoning her (because of course that responsibility is too much for a six year old) to go protect himself is so fascinating to me. The fact that he seems to know more than all but a few other characters (he has more information than pretty much everyone but the Blue Fairy and Gold), the way he moves in and out of his role in Emma’s life at different times, the way they depict his key flaws that he keeps falling back into are all so interesting. Even just the idea of a Pinocchio as a grown man living in the real world but knowing that he started life as a magical puppet brought to life is fascinating. August as the roguish wanderer, with secrets upon secrets and flaws he can’t escape, as one of Emma’s first and only friends is a lot of fun and it’s a shame they didn’t keep him around more. 

3. Lily If you scrape off some of the dumb ideas of season 4, Lily is a really interesting concept for a character. A foil for Emma whose life is intertwined with hers as they grow up; another magical child growing up in the real world, and seemingly cursed to always make the wrong choice, who also shares a deep connection and bond with Emma and understands her in a way that few people do. The flashbacks with teenage Emma and Lily are really well done, and the actress playing young Lily does a great job. But the introduction of adult Lily seems rushed and the casting of the new actress isn’t great (or maybe the writing for the adult Lily just isn’t as good). Adult Lily lacks some of the complexity and struggle of young Lily, and doesn’t seem nearly as easy to empathize with. It also seems like a missed opportunity to reintroduce the adult version already having learned all about magic and her parentage and Storybrooke. To me, a character learning that she’s Maleficent’s daughter, magic is real, she’s fated to cross paths with her one time friend from child, and that Snow White and Prince Charming basically cursed her and having to process all that, seems far more interesting than just having her show up turn into a dragon and try to kill some people but then be very easily stopped. Besides all that, the dynamic between teenage Emma and Lily is great, but there seems to be no attempt to recreate it with the adult women. I don’t know if this is the cause or the result of them not bringing Lily back after the end of season 4. But that is also a missed opportunity. They could have kept Lily around as a friend for Emma (something she’s really missing in later seasons) and further explore her background, including the mystery of her father which is introduced and then forgotten. Granted, it doesn’t fit well in season 5-- though Lily would have been a much better addition to the camelot team than the dwarves-- but even if she spends that season off bonding with Maleficent, Lily could have easily been brought back in season 6, where it seemed like the writers were low on ideas anyway. But instead Lily is completely forgotten. 

2. Robin Hood One of the show’s greatest mysteries is the thought process behind Robin’s story. He’s a good character. He’s likable. He and Regina were a popular couple. He interacted well with the rest of the class. He’s an adaptation of one of the most famous, coolest characters of all time meaning he shouldn’t have been hard to write for. But then they brought back “Marian” and everything went off the rails. Why did they take every opportunity in season 4 to complicate Regina and Robin’s relationship to the point where it was hard to root for? Why did they bring Marian back in the first place if they didn’t seem to have a plan for fixing that problem? Why is Robin a passive figure in the Regina-Zelena conflict instead of having his own much more justified conflict with Zelena to compliment that story? Why does Robin never have stories where he bonds with Henry the way Hook does? Why does season 5 seem to go out of its way to remove Robin from the story including literally sending him to go hide in the woods for episodes at a time? Why did they kill him? Why does it feel like the writers hated him and actively tried to sabotage any interesting role for him? I don’t know the answers to any of these questions. But I do know that a lot of the things they did to Robin are among my least favorite decisions the show made. 

1. Will Scarlet Will was so wasted on the main show, that I don’t think it’s even clear how wasted he was unless you watched the spinoff. I don’t know that they used him enough to on OUAT to endear him to you, unless you already loved him on OUATIW. And people DID love him on the spinoff, because he’s the one character they chose to keep when the spinoff was cancelled. But then, in another one of season 4′s trademark, bizarre decisions, they seemed to have NO plans for how to use him on the main show. Will is a great character-- for me personally he’s in my top three characters through the whole run of the show-- he’s complex, he’s charming, he’s funny, he’s sweet, he’s brave, he’s damaged, he’s flawed.  And they had so little for him to do on the show that they actor quit because it wasn’t worth it to him to show up and do nothing. He floats in and out of the plot, he doesn’t have lines in the finale, he hardly forms any connections with the main cast (his only firm connections are with Belle and Robin who are often sidelined themselves), he’s not connected in any way to either the author story line or the Snow Queen story line, his backstory is never explored and even what does exist from the spinoff is never explained to viewers who didn’t watch that. Even his one significant role as a rival love interest for Belle is never fleshed out (we don’t see them meet, we don’t see them start dating, we barely see them together-- there are one-off guest characters with more developed love stories) and is misguided  because at this point a new love interest for Belle should have been presented as a real possibility (even if they were always planning on going back to Rumple) because of how broken her relationship with Rumple was, but Will is not a real possibility because he’d already been promised a happily ever after with Ana. Their disregard for Will is so bad, that when the actor left the show, they didn’t even spare a single line of dialogue to explain what happened to Will. He’s just forgotten about completely and never mentioned again. 

#ouat #ouat rewatch #august booth #lily page #will scarlet #ouat robin hood #jefferson the mad hatter #the other one i considered is mulan #but personally i find the character underdeveloped more than underused #with a lot of the non-main princess characters i feel like they kept too close to the disney versions for me to really want a lot more of it #you can do whatever you want with a new character #or with the mad hatter or pinocchio because no ones protective of them #so you can do whatever you want with them #and that means there's a lot of possibility #but when you're trying to maintain the personality and image of disney's little mermaidthe world isn't quite so open #there are also some season 7 characters i'd like more of #but that's less about the show wasting them and more about the show just getting cancelled before it had the opportunity

[queeruma]

Okay, so an anon sent me this ask:

Can I ask if canon materials say anything about Uma and Ursula’s relationship? Do you have hcs about it? I never read the third Descendant book so I don’t know much about her

and I wrote up this post, posted it, immediately realised that tumblr had fucked up all the formatting, deleted it, and then realised that by deleting it I’d also deleted the ask. I’m sorry anon, my brain is not functioning properly, but here’s my answer, hopefully formatted correctly this time:

Hi anon! So I thought I could answer this in like 10 minutes, and then it turned out that I have a Lot of thoughts about Uma and Ursula’s relationship, and here we are almost two days later (this post kind of just turns into Uma hcs at the end sorry about that)

Yes, between the movie, Rise, and Uma's Wicked Book, there's actually quite a lot of information about Uma and her mother.

Under a cut because this got long:

Within the actual text: Uma's relationship with her mother is… complicated, to say the least.

On the one hand, Ursula is about as far from a loving, caring mother as one can get. She has been forcing Uma to work for her, without pay, since Uma was 'so little she could barely see about the counter'. She is verbally abusive, berating Uma and humiliating her over her losses to Mal, and we see in the film that she's not above harming Uma physically either. And Uma seems certain when she's speaking to Ben that her mother does not care for her at all.

"All those days spent working at Ma’s restaurant, serving up gruel and scrubbing the floors, and I’ve never gotten paid a coin.” - UWB “Uma had worked at the Fish and Chips Shoppe her entire life, from when she was so little she could barely see above the counter, until she was old enough to wear an apron, carry a tray, and take an order.” - ROTIOTL “Uma was glad to have the place to herself. If Ursula were around, she would only be raging and complaining about how she had been saddled with such an ungrateful and useless daughter. Ursula never ceased to remind Uma how often she’d lost to Mal. When she’d learned Mal had been chosen to go to Auradon, Ursula flipped her tentacles. Uma never heard the end of it.” - ROTIOTL “Things I wouldn’t miss about the Isle: (...) Ma yelling at me” - UWB “My mom doesn’t care about me either. Well, not unless she needs someone for the night shift.” - D2

On the other hand, we see a certain level of respect between the two of them. Uma seems to be proud of her mother's strength, and is very comfortable showing her heritage as 'daughter of the sea witch'. Despite her mother's treatment of her, we never see Uma being afraid of her mother (contrast with the core four in the first movie, who definitely are). Uma remembers her mother taking her to Hook's inlet to watch the crocodile wrestling, and (repeatedly) telling her the story of her defeat at Eric and Ariel's hands. She states that her mother taught her about the importance of negotiation. Ursula, lamenting over her loss in her final battle, tells Uma that they would be 'Queens of the Seas' if she'd won. Given that unlike most of the villains, Ursula doesn't seem to be trying to manipulate Uma into anything in particular, I take this to mean that Ursula would have given her daughter what she felt was her due.

And, most importantly, Ursula has one single piece of her nautilus necklace left when she's on the Isle, and she gives it to Uma when Uma is a small child. Uma likes to hold it when she's feeling anxious. There's clearly more than just antagonism between them.

‘Uma was special: she was the sea witch’s daughter, a force to be reckoned with!’ - ROTIOTL 'The gold was warm against her skin, and she felt a faint echo of its former power. It had the sense and shape of her mother's wrath.' - ROTIOTL “No, last I saw her was on the news when she was blasting you with her magic!” Ursula laughed. “Good for her!” - EFTIOTL “That’s my mom! At least Maleficent recognised her power.” - MSB ‘“Mama was really something, wasn’t she? Back then?” said Uma.’ - ROTIOTL “Ma used to take me down to Hook’s Inlet when I was a kid, and we’d bet on the crocodile-wrestling matches there.” - UWB 'She recalled her mother telling her about that final battle (…) Prince Eric had taken the wheel and rammed his ship right into her heart (…) Uma always held her breath at that part of the story, wondering how it was that her mother had survived such a battle. Because even though she'd lost, she'd survived. Prince Eric hadn't destroyed her completely.' - ROTIOTL ‘Her mother had taught her about the power of negotiation, or as she’d described it, talking someone out of their greatest treasures and giving nothing of value in return.’ - ROTIOTL 'Queens of the seas, Ursula would lament. We would be queens of the seas if not for that awful Triton and that terrible Beast.' - ROTIOTL ‘(...) the locket she wore around her neck. Inside was a tiny piece of junk that her mother had given her as a child. “It’s all I have left,” Ursula had said at the time. Uma never understood why a sliver of metal mattered so much, but she liked holding it when she was anxious.’ - ROTIOTL

I think Uma's outfits also say a lot about her relationship with her mother. The core four pretty much exclusively wear their parent's colours, even after they've rejected them. We already know that colour means a lot in these movies, considering the thought they put into the shades of purple in Mal's hair and clothes in D1. Every VK either wears their parent's colours - Harry, Celia and the core four - or they don't resemble their families at all - Gil and Dizzy.

Uma's purple undertone, her hair and skirt resembling octopus arms, and the mesh undershirt with holes that mimics octopus suckers are all there to reflect her status as Ursula's daughter. She's proud of her heritage - but there's probably a practical reason as well: there's an element of protection in reminding people of her mother.

However, I think it's telling that her main aesthetic and colour are all her own. The pirate hat, the tough leather jacket complete with epaulets, the chunky belts, her sword, and the overall teal theme, all make it very clear that Uma is her own person, and no one who looks at her is going to forget it. She's not going to ride by on her mother's reputation all her life - people will know her name, not just her parentage.

Her symbol also demonstrates this mix of nature and nurture. Mal, Evie, Carlos, Jay, Harry, and Gil all have symbols that refer directly to their parents (Gil signs off UWB with a bow and arrow, presumably a reference to his father's skill at hunting). In contrast, the skull and crossbones - crossbones in this case being a trident and sword - with a wave in one cheek, an eyepatch, and octopus arms below it is 'the unofficial symbol of Uma, daughter of Ursula - pirate queen'.

--

As far as headcanons are concerned, I can’t really list them? I just have a kind of general ‘this is how Ursula affected the way Uma’s life went’ hc:

I think all of Uma’s better memories of her mother are from her very early childhood. By the time Uma and Mal stop being friends, Ursula has already pretty much checked out of everything; I don’t think she ever tries to manipulate Uma in the way Maleficent and the other villains do their children. She leaves the work in the shoppe to Uma and retreats into her Auradon soap operas. Uma is used to seeing other parents on the Isle put effort into their relationships with their children (that is never actually a Good Thing but baby Uma doesn’t know what decent parenting is) and she wonders if Ursula’s lack of manipulation is her mother neglecting her because she sees her as worthless.

So Uma kind of decides that she’s going to be as independent as possible, because if she makes her distance from her mother her choice, she doesn’t have to confront the possibility that Ursula is neglecting her because Uma isn’t good enough for her. And because I loathe the canon Uma and Mal backstory with the passion of an anti-vax parent for essential oils, here’s my take on it (credit for the idea that Maleficent encouraged Mal to end their friendship goes to @edream93 in her wonderful fic ‘We’ll Light the Fuse’ - it partly inspired this hc):

Uma and Mal were good friends from a very young age, and there was some genuine affection and trust between them, which Maleficent obviously did not approve of at all.

She allowed it for a while because they did get into a lot of trouble together, but as Uma drifted further away from her mother, she became concerned about Uma’s influence on Mal.

See, Uma might have started out distancing herself from her mother to protect her own feelings, but she also actually began to care less about her mother’s opinion of her.

Maleficent, who wanted Mal firmly under her control, knew that if the two girls stayed friends, Uma might encourage Mal to question her mother’s authority.

And if there’s one person on the Isle talented at subtlety and manipulation, it’s Maleficent. Mal and Uma’s friendship was doomed to end the second Maleficent decided she wanted it to.

I also think Ursula’s F- parenting plays into Uma’s feelings about Auradon. Uma is genuinely right about the Isle - it is unfair and morally abhorrent that the children of villains are fated to live in a ‘fate worse than death’ for the crime of being born to the wrong people. She and the other descendants of villains unquestionably do not deserve to be there.

But Uma’s desire for freedom and revenge isn’t just based on her rational disapproval of the Isle. It comes from a huge amount of anger and pain, and it’s admirable that she manages to use those negative feelings (along with her love for and loyalty to her crew) to motivate herself. She is equally furious and terrified - Auradon abandoned her, Mal abandoned her, her own MOTHER abandoned her - and either she didn’t deserve it, in which case she has to be angry at basically the whole world, or she did, in which case...

yeah, she tries not to think about that.

Luckily, between her friendship with Harry and Gil and the loyalty and respect she gets from her crew, more often than not she’s able to believe that she deserved better she deserves so much better she deserves the whole fuCKING WORLD.

Ultimately, Uma is a very practical person, and any feelings she has about her mother, positive or negative, will not stop her from getting off the Isle and going after what she wants - whatever that ends up being. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the octopus-inspired elements and purple undertones of her D2 look are gone in D3.

#h speaks #please let it have worked this time #uma #uma daughter of ursula #ursula #im sorry it's so rambly and incoherent #my brain does not know the meaning of the word concise #but thank you for the question anon!!! #i hadn't realised i had so many feelings about uma and ursula until now