#this is implied but if nandor and guillermo left as humans to go rent an apartment together or something

[ineffably-human]

Today in 'Shadows things hundreds of people have decided are true that I really don't understand at all,' we have... [spins wheel]

'Nandor's seasons-long burning desire to become human' - everyone here knows what a cult is, right?

Like at its most cliche, we understand how cult leaders work in fiction, at least? They say 'hey, dude, you seem very lost and in despair. Good thing I know a secret key to Paradise nobody else does, and I alone am equipped to get you there, and also I understand you better than anyone else in the outside world ever will.'

Nandor came to Jan in an existential crisis with no idea of what would help him, and left convinced that becoming human would do the trick. (This is because Jan is good at her evil job.) He dove into that belief because he was diving into a cult and that's what they do. He felt that vampirism was a curse because he was in the middle of a huge emotional crisis, and his new way out of that crisis was telling him vampirism is a bad thing that is causing his problems (instead of loneliness, a poorly fitting job, sudden changes in his close servant-friend, existential stuff humans go through as well...)

When he's out of that crisis, he never mentions becoming human again. He never mentions feeling cursed by vampirism again. In fact: he visits his homeland where everyone else became vampires, and decides that if everyone else is a vampire there's nothing special about being a vampire. (Read: in normal circumstances, with the chance to feed his ego, he feels special being a vampire.) In fact: when given fifty-two wishes that we see him use on his body multiple times, he doesn't use them to be human, or to do any human things.

I can see why, in the throes of S3, you could pin some of his backstory onto the Jan thing and see it as Nandor resenting being turned. Nandor is the one who lost more than he gained being a vampire, in terms of his glory days etc. We know nothing about how it happened or if he wanted it. The first time he tells it, all his wives left him because he suddenly changed into this dangerous unpredictable monster.

But the second time we hear it, in s4, it's implied that when he became a vampire he suddenly abandoned them all? (It's pretty vague tbh.) Also it's made extremely clear he was a terrible husband to start with. If the thing with razing Antipaxos doesn't tell you enough, his behavior in s4 seals it in: the peak of Nandor's human life was as a violent, insecure bully, who took everything he even imagined he wanted and never slowed down enough to understand how empty he felt.

Being a vampire gave Nandor time and space to think about parts of life he'd never have considered when he was alive. The losses he felt allowed him to be more patient and more sober. He enjoys fighting and violence now, but he seems to think about honor and mercy just as much. You could argue that Nandor's main personal arc - his 'I'm okay, you're okay' if you will - is accepting the person he is now over the person he used to be. Think of how much more natural his leadership was this season rallying the vampires in a crisis, instead of the forced protocols and rituals of the earlier seasons.

I don't think that someone with one foot in a world that literally doesn't exist anymore, who has trouble talking to most people outside the house and loves to watch familiars fight to the death, would be happy as a human. I think he'd work a day or get a single summer cold, and beg Laszlo to turn him again, actually.

(I don't think he and Guillermo would have a great relationship if they were both human, either - these are people who bond over knight-vassal courtly love vibes and trying to kill each other. What can life as a mortal couple possibly offer to fulfill them?)

But all of that is speculation. Here's what isn't: Nandor wants to be a human for a single episode of the show. It is not a richly established part of his character. If we're talking pure facts, it's a thing that happened that one time, and has never been spoken of again.

#fandom: wwdits #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #i am a meta gremlin #this is implied but if nandor and guillermo left as humans to go rent an apartment together or something #they would kill each other in a WEEK