#this also isn’t an anti kyman post but it was from someone saying kyman good style bad so yknow | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jelifishi · 10 days

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hai guys i dont really care if you like kyman or not but PLEASE don’t harass me or anyone else who likes it over it. the back button is right there and hell you could even block me. if you want to honestly debate id be cool w that but like dude yea i know its toxic as hell, I’d definitely say the tumblr community is MUCH calmer than the tt/twitter community on this topic but honestly i feel like a lot of people just pull out reasons from their ass to hate on it and refuse to have an open mind and actually listen to people. I would know because I used to be a kyman hater myself who refused to listen to reason, additionally I was really scared of openly being a kymannie because of the hatred around it in the community. Most of us here are adults or at the very least older teenagers from what I’ve seen and I think that’s the key difference as to why this place is a lot calmer than other places.

I honestly think that if antis actually like, weren’t so scared of being a kymannie they might actually listen to reason. now please note that this post is NOT to try and convince you to like kyman but its instead to try and convince you to not be a little bitch about it online if you dislike it. a lot of people forget that there is someone behind the screen and do you really need to make someone’s day worse over ship preferences ffs?? I honestly don’t get the big deal around shipping in communities and how much it’s hated on, sure I have ships i like and dislike but honestly i dont care what you like. Shipping drama is way too huge in communities and maybe this is just because im aroace but really it’s about how interesting of a story it is for me. I dont care if it’s healthy or not I just want it to be interesting. The only ships i really dislike are for trauma reasons. I’m not a proshipper nor do I support proshipping online, and I am a firm believer that kyman is not proship, but I do think that severe harrassment over ships EVEN proships isn’t a good thing. the block button is right there, just because you dont like something or support it doesnt mean you have to tell someone to off themselves. getting into petty internet arguments over which construction paper kids you think should be in a relationship is just immature.

also yes ) i know im being a little hater about people that are being haters but im sick of it and it affects people. also i dont harass people if they hate on kyman because its not worth my time

#south park #eric cartman #kyman #kyle broflovski #sp #sp kyman

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jewpacabruhs · 4 years

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hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)

(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)

alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.

with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.

and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.

forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.

everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.

and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.

and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about.

and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?

and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do.

that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.

idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.

but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.

i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it.

tl;dr

so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally.

i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.

i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious

thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020!

#txt #mine

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courtanie · 7 years

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What do you think about consensual Kyman? It feels a little weird to me bcuz Cartman is an jerk to Kyle, but the last few eps got me thinking. Can you explain why this is a good/bad idea? I need to know I'm not the only one who thinks this is weird.

I have answered this multiple times in the past, so I’m just gonna copy and paste one of my other answers because I don’t have the energy for another full-fledged rant pfff. Question isn’t exactly the same but it hits the same points I would hit here. And yes this puts me in the tag and makes me into an ~anti~ but whatever this perpetuates a REAL LIFE problem where casual racism is a-okay. Please keep in mind I do not go after people who ship this, and I do not flood their tag with this kind of thing unless I am specifically asked to do so. Last time I posted this that seemed to be a consensus even tho no one could point out where I did such a thing sooooooo there ya go. Anyway.

Anonymous asked: Why are you okay with writing nonconsensual scenes and horrible violence but you're so against consensual kyman? Mind you I'm asking as a huge fan of both works and that cheesy crap between them. This isn't an insult to you it's just a legitimate question.

Because I don’t perpetuate the idea that the situations that take place in my fics are okay. When I write my violent stuff, it’s portrayed as traumatic and something that needs recovery, no matter how small.

Kyman fans, however, completely ignore the ramifications of what the two of them being together would be. It’s abuse, pure and simple. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it until I hit the ground dead: Trapping a Jew with a Nazi is not quirky.

And that’s exactly what Kyle would be in that situation, he would be trapped. But no no, I’m told, “it’s okay Cartman considers him his Jew but still makes racist remarks because well gotta keep it in-character”. That is a disgusting mindset.

People who write this do not understand Kyle’s character at all. I was beaten down in my earlier days because I made their friendship too ooc with Cartman occasionally lending a hand to help him. So, their canon selves aren’t cool but completely destroying Kyle’s proud character and making Cartman a ‘doting cuddly and ‘only casually racist’’ boyfriend is a-okay so long as there’s some smut, right?

Listen, their relationship is nothing but a power struggle. They are frienemies for a reason, they are not meant to get along on any level outside of using one another to gain the upper hand in a situation. They’ll constantly beat each other down and then drag them back up when they realize they can use the other to their advantage. And that is called abuse. Both of them are guilty of this. “But I made them go through inner turmoil and wonder how they could love someone so mean to them!!!” And there it is. Kyman fans know how detrimental their relationship is. They constantly address it. But yet that all goes away because boners. The consequences are never discussed, the inevitable misery is never addressed. The realism is stripped away from the damning effects of such a relationship taking place.

Honestly I think your question is one of my biggest problem with Kyman fans (not you in particular, babe, I mean the general consensus I’ve found). Do I write graphic, awful things? Yes. Yes I do. And they are portrayed as graphic, awful things. I emphasize, especially nowadays, the recovery. I take it apart from all angles to reinforce ‘THIS WAS A BAD THING THAT HAPPENED’. But the guaranteed mental/emotional abuse from Kyman is just… glossed over. They put a pretty bow on it and call Cartman’s antisemetic ways ‘cute’ and claim Kyle would ‘have a fondness for it’.

Also, lol. Let’s talk about the fucking fat-shaming hypocrisy for just a moment because it’s one of my biggest grievances. Most consensual kyman fics, and yes, I have read many because I have a lot of readers who suggest shit to me insisting the fic they found makes it work and I’m a naturally curious person, have a scene where Cartman is calling himself disgusting because of his weight and being teased about it for so long. Okay you know what, I can get behind that idea. That is an absolute possibility it’d grind against him for years and lead to some inner issues. And Kyle comes over and comforts him and reassures him he still finds him attractive or some other shit. Okay. Fine. Not my thing but whatever. But then they will turn around and it’s RIGHT BACK TO THE CASUAL RACISM. And Kyle will just laugh it off because “well, at least Cartman felt like himself again”. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

The fact that people are more concerned about Cartman’s appearance being put into question than Kyle’s identity is fucking repulsive. It’s bad to call him fat but insulting Kyle’s religion is a-okay? And then you have the “well Kyle still calls him Fatass but it’s an endearing term”. Holy fucking shit no???? That makes it so much worse??? I mean, to take a scene specifically for Cartman to say “I have a serious problem with my weight being what defines me” but continuing to use it and he’s totes chill with Kyle reminding him of what made him so upset in the first place? Do kyman writers not understand how being insulted works?

There’s a difference between let’s say Ken and Ky together calling each other assholes and Cartman and Ky just tearing each other down in every way possible but finding it ‘loving’. That’s not how it works. But it’s completely ignored, once again, because boners. It skeeves me out. I feel really awkward writing a scene with the two of them interacting and having Cartman shovel out very in-character insults. And you’re supposed to feel bad over it because they are awful things to say. But no. No kyman writers are totally cool with doing so and ‘putting a spin on it’ to make it what they consider a ‘healthy’ relationship.

So yeah, I have a serious problem that I can understand horrible consequences of people’s actions and address them thusly, but I’m called a fucking disgusting monster for it. Meanwhile these people are treating Nazi like it’s as casual of a bad personality trait as like, a Dudebro. You know what a realistic ‘romantic relationship’ is between them? Dubious on every level. Kyle deep in the midst of a depression, desperate for some sort of human contact, and Cartman completely takes advantage of it and Kyle is fucking trapped because that’s how abusive relationships goddamn work.

That’s their dynamic. It has ALWAYS been their dynamic. They are terrible people to one another, even my goddamn major bias towards Kyle isn’t going to make me say he’s a decent person to Cartman because he’s not. And treating their relationship as though it could be nothing but flowers and butterfly kisses and casual racism is insulting to both the characters and to anyone who’s ever dealt with mental and emotional abuse. Like what you like, whatever I’m not your brain I can’t tell you how to feel, but people need to understand just what it is they’re perpetuating.

Adding to this for your question in particular:

Last season showed us that Cartman is still Cartman. He is still manipulative, he is still working to cover up lies of his, and we all saw that regret and anger and disgust on his face towards Heidi in the finale.

There’s a post going around that equates his personality change in seasons 19 & 20 to ‘Casa Bonita’, where he goes to Kyle’s house in a sweater thinking it’ll win Kyle over for his ‘change’. And Kyle tells him ‘That’s not being nice, it’s just putting on a nice sweater’. And OP of this post I’m referring to was correct, last season was just Cartman putting on a nice sweater. He’ll go back to his awful ways and all the points that I made here will still be firmly in place, I guarantee it.

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