#third act was sloppy :( a few more rewrites and this could have gone all the way. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ecotone99 · 5 years

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[SF] Dolls

*** Not sure if this is the right sub, but this is a section from a story I've been writing. I've started rewriting it, and the rewrite doesn't really integrate this. But I liked these parts, and I'm not sure how I can fit them in with the main story. The formatting is a bit off due to copying and pasting.

Tech Support: Series 2 – The Prequels

Module I: Dolls

It was her favorite one and she’d lost it. It was the first one she’d ever gotten all by herself, but it fell out of her bag and now she didn’t know where it was. It was probably gone forever and there was nothing she could do.

Why wasn’t I more careful? I shouldn’t have taken it with me. Maybe if I didn’t always try to walk so fast, this never would have happened.

She did look for it. She looked for it for two whole days. And every minute, she just knew she would suddenly see it waiting for her in a patch of grass next to the playground, or maybe it was on the curb and just covered up by a dead leaf, or something. She knew she would find it, and then everything would be okay again.

Stop crying. Just get another one. How can I be crying about something so stupid? I must be defective. I’m not supposed to cry over such silly things. I’m not a baby. I shouldn’t be acting like this. This isn’t the way I’m supposed to be.

She’d known that there was something wrong with her for a long time. It was probably a lot of things. Sometimes she felt like she was intentionally made defective. That seemed like the only explanation for all of the things that always seemed to go wrong.

I know what I have to do. Why can’t I ever do it? It will only be uncomfortable for a minute. Then, everything will be the way it’s supposed to be. I don’t even know what I’m doing here in the first place. All of this is stupid. Everyone probably hates me, anyway. At least, they would if they knew what I really am.

How could she always be so clumsy? Why was she always embarrassing herself by laughing at the wrong times or tripping over simple words? And why was she always losing her things? That one was her favorite. She’d worked so hard for it, but she couldn’t even take care of it and now it was gone forever because of her.

It will only be uncomfortable for a minute. I shouldn’t even be here.

…

The young girl’s hazel eyes stared out vacantly from behind the neatly arranged rows of shoes and small boxes. Nothing remained now but the irregular clumping of eyelashes, glued together by recent tears, to indicate that the small figure now resting against the closet wall had ever belonged anywhere else but among these other lifeless things.

INCIDENT REPORT

CASE: A657329 RE: Serial No. MR23-84 Model CR-C2 F-Type [C2 Series]

Unit experienced devastating system-wide malfunctions of class 7 and above at 8:27 AM and proceeded to follow automated self-deactivation protocols. Unit initiated psychological self-deactivation preparation sequences at 9:32 AM, and the final deactivation sequence was completed at 12:43 PM.

Unit’s self-diagnostic logs indicate that it had been experiencing malfunctions intermittently but with increasing frequency and severity for at least seven months. These malfunctions have been confirmed by our diagnostics team.

Though the original cause of the unit’s malfunctions has yet to be conclusively determined, preliminary analysis indicates they were almost certainly a result of defects caused by design flaws in the third subprocessing matrix of the unit’s Central NERVUS System. Synaptic relay nodes J3-J18 seem to have been particularly compromised.

Affected systems include emotional generation and regulation, motor coordination and control, memory integration and recall, interpersonal interaction, speech processing, as well as multiple secondary and tertiary systems that cannot be conclusively identified right now due to corruption in the unit’s diagnostic logs.

The unit was also found to be in possession of nineteen human fingers and six extracted cybernetic implants, including the REM induction implant of Senator Lexa Khan, who disappeared six months ago and whose severed index finger was found at Zenra Park last Thursday.

As with the other malfunctions noted previously, the original cause of the unit’s aberrant social behavior has still yet to be determinedd, but we do not have any evidence to believe that it was the result of the various malfunctions we discovered in the unit’s aggression systems. Analysis of the unit’s logs would appear to indicate that it was not even aware that the more violent acts it had been committing were socially unacceptable or considered undesirable by human beings.

However, due to the extremely violnet, public, and severe nature of these malfunctions, we have ordered an emergency recall of all remaining C2 units and have already broadcast the deactivation instruction on the global C2 remote command channel.

END REPORT – TECHNICIAN KM

Axxesss™ Internal Messaging System

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:33

From: Jonathan Kren

To: Kyle Murphy

Cc: Jaxia Wanner

Subject: Your report on case A657329

Kyle,

I am at such a loss right now trying to explain what could possibly make you think it’s acceptable to attach something like that to one of your incident reports that I don’t even know where to begin. I’m not sure whether you thought this would be funny, whether you were trying to impress your new boss with a mediocre dramatization, or whether you were just high or drunk, but I am very angry. This was extremely unprofessional, inappropriate, offensive, and honestly, more than a little bit disturbing.

I know you’ve only been here for a few days, so I’m going to try to give you the benefit of the doubt and send you to our psychiatrist, Dr. Jaxia Wanner, instead of simply firing you immediately. Please be aware that your continued employment is entirely dependent upon Dr. Wanner’s evaluation and recommended course of action.

If you want to pursue creative writing, do it on your own time. While you’re at work, stick to doing your job.

You also need to correct several formatting, capitalization, and spelling errors in your report. Please run a diagnostic on your spell checker’s personality subroutines. I expect you to review our formatting guidelines on your own.

This is your only warning. The next time, you’re fired.

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:44

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Jonathan Kren

Cc: Kyle Murphy

Re: Your report on case A657329

Jonathan: Please stop harassing the new hires. You’re not a supervisor. You don’t even work in tech support. You can’t fire anyone. And stop telling people that I’m the psychiatrist or our resident sex therapy robot. This isn’t funny. You’re on probation, and the next time you do this, YOU’RE fired.

Kyle: You need to revise your introductory summary without embellishments to the unit’s internal logs. This type of writing is not appropriate for an incident report.

Please delete your final paragraph, rewrite the summary of the unit’s pre-incident cognitive logs without stylistic flourishes (changes from third person to first person, italics, etc.), move any non-technical information (such as descriptions of the unit’s criminal activities) from the main document to the final section of your summary, remove speculation about the unit’s motives, and generally try to refrain from attempting to anthropomorphize the unit’s malfunctions for dramatic effect, no matter how tempted you might be.

Also, please use only official system names in the main document instead of referring to systems by their functions, and remember to use trademark symbols.

Finally, please do review our formatting guidelines as well as correcting the capitalization and spelling errors in your report before resubmitting it. And remember to include the date as well as the time. I don’t have time to list everything here. This is sloppy work, and you need to do better.

Jaxia

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:49

From: Jonathan Kren

To: Jaxia Wanner

Cc: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Jaxia, please reboot yourself. I’m sending a technician to take a look at you.

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:51

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Jonathan Kren

Cc: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Wow. Clean out your desk by the end of the day. You’re fired.

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:52

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Cc: Jonathan Kren

Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

lol

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:54

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

…Excuse me?

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:57

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Oh god. I am so sorry. I meant to send that to Jonathan.

Um, and I didn’t write that introduction. I have no idea where that came from. I didn’t even know I was supposed to attach a narrative description of the unit’s logs to the incident report.

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 10:23

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

You are on really thin ice, Kyle. Please just reread the guidelines, revise your report, and resubmit it.

Jaxia

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 10:31

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

I really am so sorry. I didn’t mean to send that to you or screw up the report. I get very nervous at new jobs. I just have one more thing. Where do I find the formatting guidelines for the main document?

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 10:35

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

They’re in the data packet you were provided when you were hired.

Jaxia

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 10:37

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Okay. I’m sorry. But do you know where it will tell me how to correctly format the serial number and the model identification code in the header?

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 11:49

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Section 5.

Jaxia

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 11:51

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Is there a new version? Section 5 in my data packet describes the calibration procedure for the auxiliary Penissary Interface Drive controllers of the Khan Series combat cyborgs.

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 11:59

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

I have sent a new copy of the data packet to your terminal. Please delete any files you may have received from Mr. Kren.

For future reference, PID can stand for several different things, none of which will ever be ‘penissary interface drive’. And we have never manufactured combat cyborgs.

The new packet will contain the correct information.

Jaxia

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 12:01

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Oh. Okay. Sorry. Thanks again.

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 13:32

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

You’re welcome.

Jaxia

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 13:45

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Subject: Report on case A657329

Hi Jaxia,

Sorry, just one more thing. Do I need to capitalize the word class in the main document? Is it class 7 malfunction or Class 7 malfunction? Sorry. I’m just a bit overwhelmed today, and I don’t want to put you through any more work.

Sorry again. Thanks for your time, Jaxia. I really appreciate it.

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 13:51

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Report on case A657329

Okay.

Kyle, you really need to go through the entire data packet. That contains all of the information you’re asking me for. I can send this to you once more if you somehow still don’t have it, but I don’t want to hear from you again until you’ve read all the way through it. You should also think about going down to psych support on the first floor. Someone there can write you a prescription for anxiety medication.

Jaxia

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 13:53

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Report on case A657329

Okay. Sorry.

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 13:55

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Subject: You’re a moron

Please try to fall down an elevator shaft or a flight of stairs on your way down there. Maybe then you’ll be able to remember the fucking trademark symbols.

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:01

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: You’re a moron

What?

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:13

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: You’re a moron

Oh no. Kyle, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to send that. I apologize. I am very embarrassed. I was just blowing off steam after a hard afternoon and must have somehow accidentally hit send. It has nothing to do with you. Please forgive me and try to forget about this.

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:17

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Re: You’re a moron

Okay. Sorry again.

Have you had a chance to coordinate with CR to finalize the list of cybernetic employees I’ll be assigned to, by the way?

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:18

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: You’re a moron

Kyle, just rewrite your damn report.

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:32

From: Jonathan Kren

To: Technical Support

Cc: Jaxia Wanner, Kyle Murphy

Bcc: Laya Khan

Subject: Jaxia Wanner and Kyle Murphy

Attachment: log10241.axs

Please review the attached communication logs. These two units are behaving strangely and need to be repaired.

I believe Jaxia’s penissary interface drive may also be malfunctioning. I have been receiving many reports that she is no longer an effective sex therapy robot.

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:36

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Gwyneth Stalin, Gabriel Satie, Kanoko Villa-Lobos

Subject: Please block Jonathan Kren’s Axxesss™ login

I have fired Jonathan. I need one of you guys to block his Axxesss™ login. He keeps sending messages to taunt me, and it’s driving me nuts. I can’t handle any more of this crap today.

Also, can you please set up the system to automatically attach department names to all user tags again so I don’t have to put up with this kind of nonsense anymore?

Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.

Jaxia

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:59

From: Kanoko Villa-Lobos [Axxesss™ Support]

To: Jaxia Wanner [Human Resources]

Subject: Jonathan Kren and Axxesss™ bugs

Hey Jax,

I just got in for the day. Gwen and Gabriel are out sick. Some weird problem with medication mix-ups, apparently.

I can’t block Jonathan until his termination is officially confirmed in the system by CR. Also, it seems like all of your messages are visible to the entire network today for some reason. It might have something to do with the bug that’s causing Axxesss™ message drafts to auto-send when they’re closed. I’m looking into it.

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 15:05

From: Jonathan Kren [Legal Services]

To: Jaxia Wanner [Human Resources]

Cc: Filemon Poledouris [Cybernetic Resources]

Bcc: Laya Khan [Psychological Support]

Subject: Jonathan Kren’s Wrongful Termination

Attachment: Lots_Of_Stuff_To_Read_Bitch.jxs

Dear Overlord Wanner,

This is official notice of a wrongful termination claim filed on behalf of my client, Mr. Jonathan Kren. Please thoroughly review the nine hundred pages of attached documentation prepared by Mr. Kren’s legal counsel and submit a detailed response along with a full termination report to Cybernetic Resources and Legal Services. You have until the end of the day to comply, or the request for Mr. Kren’s employment to be terminated will be dismissed.

Sincerely,

Jonathan Kren, Esq., Serial No. RK97-42

LunaTekk Legal Services

Axxesss™ Internal Messaging System

INCOMING PRIVATE MESSAGE VIA AXXESSS™: This is Jaxia. I’m sending our new technician down for an evaluation. I think he might be a little bit unstable. You should probably write him a prescription for lunazepam or something. Thanks, Laya. You’re doing a great job so far. You’re the only one at this company who doesn’t seem hell-bent on driving me insane this week. Let's get together for a game of ping pong later. =) - Jaxia –END OF MESSAGE

PHARMACYLOGUE

It was his favorite brand and he’d spilled it. It was the first time he’d gotten all to himself, but now there was Scotch all over his desk and he didn’t know where he was. He would probably be confused forever and there was nothing he could do.

yu fkubg rczy bthci I trtsed yuo waht te halldod yo d—

He did read the label. He read it the whole way through. And every minute, he just knew that the fog would suddenly clear up and the effects of the drugs would wear off, or maybe he’d just read the dosage wrong and taken too many or something. There was no way that the nice doctor in psych support would have intentionally given him maximum strength antipsychotics instead of anxiolytics like the bottle said just because she thought making others confused and watching them pass out on their keyboards was funny.

hkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkjx1kkkk—

Hm. Good point, but I think you might have missed a couple of commas. By the way, you should probably change the default password on your terminal so other people can’t attach things to your reports. And try to be more skeptical about what you read on your medication labels instead of always taking everything at face value. I’m trying to help you. Have a nice nap, Mr. Murphy Wurphy.

SYSTEM MESSAGE: Technician Kyle Murphy has been disconnected

Laya wondered if she should clear his screen. Kyle probably wouldn’t remember anything with that much Somaquel™ in his system, and she’d already had her bit of fun. Getting fired again would most likely spoil the fantastic mood she was in.

Maybe she should start giving him the lunazepam she had actually prescribed, too. Maybe even at the right dosage. It would probably be in her best interest if her new technician wasn’t delirious.

Maybe next week.

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