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timextoxhajima · 3 years

Text

Christmas & Me

Member: Younghyun (Youngk)

Genre: tutor au cause why the fk not ft a plot twist ion know

Word Count: 4.3k

Usually it wouldn’t be this hard.

Writing.

If anything, it should be the easiest thing for you.

The grip of the pen rubs annoyingly against your skin between your thumb and index finger, all the words in your head but it’s as if they had a mind of their own and refused to come out on paper. The heavying rain outside starts to slap against the window you were facing, jolting you out of your frustration for a few seconds.

You can barely see the buildings across the road now, the rain so thick, it looks like a cloud passing through the city. Sighing, you rest your left cheek against the back of your fingers, fingers in your right hand fiddling with the pen mindlessly. It feels like your vocabulary is suddenly limited, rendering all the awards on your shelves useless and meaningless.

What was the point of earning all those awards when I can’t do anything now?

At a loss of ideas and inspiration, you drop the pen to the notebook and close it, turning off the table lamp and dumping yourself on the two-seater sofa. The photo frame on the glass table between your feet and the small television offering you a pathetic reflection of yourself.

The walk to school the next day was rather peaceful - only because being an international student granted you that privilege. Well, unless--

“GOOD MORNING!” Jamie is loud the way she is when she throws her arm over your shoulders, visibly putting in some effort into it because you were easily a forehead’s length taller than her. It could get draining sometimes, how she’s so enthusiastic about things, but she’s an endearing person to be with, so you’ve learnt to put up with it.

“Hey,” Pulling out your earphones, she studies your gloomy expression. “How was your weekend?”

Jamie frowns, blinking out of slight confusion. “How was my weekend? How was your trip to pain city?”

A grimaced smile graces over your lips for a few seconds, disappointed with your lack in ability to keep your feelings off your face. “That obvious, huh?”

She pulls her arm off you when she deems it too tiring to keep up. “It might have been only two months since we’ve met but believe me, I can read you like a book.”

A pause as the both of you step into the college compounds, a huge crowd of students already frolicking about in the front garden or entering the faculty buildings.

“So, what’s keeping you awake at night?”

Hesitance collects your thoughts.

“Oh no, again?” Sympathy paints her face like the sunlight that’s beginning to seep through the clouds and onto the hallways of school. “Honey, I know it’s none of my business but this isn’t good for you in the long run. You need like... like a turning point of some sorts, I don’t know. Something to kick-start your engines again.”

Her attempt at a solution finally ignites a little flame of mischief in you. “Like what?” You cock a brow and scoff, entering the lecture hall alongside her.

“Like... a boy.”

“A boy?” You are unable to stifle the loud snort that runs through your nose, earning the embarrassing attention of some other students. “Sorry.”

“You heard me right. That’s exactly what you need. You need to fall in love or get your heart broken and then maybe it’ll set you off.”

“I was expecting you to say something more along the lines of a ‘tutor’.”

“The Hell d’you need a tutor for?” She thwacks your arm. “Have you seen the things you write? My dumbass couldn’t write that shit out even if I was old and had a billion stories to tell.”

“Well, like you said. Just something to get me started, that’s all. Someone to talk me through the process again, probably offer me new ideas, new perspectives.”

Your friend goes silent at your explanation - it was a better idea than getting yourself involved with a boy. When she’s quiet for a prolonged amount of time though, you nudge her with your elbow and she looks at you through the corners of her eyes.

“Do you want me to apologise for suggesting a boy?”

Pursing your lips to hide away the little snicker you have under your breath, you nod childishly.

“Ugh, fine. I’m sorry I suggested getting your heart broken,” She pulls out her laptop and places it on the lecture table. “But if you’re looking for a tutor or something to shit-talk writing ideas with, I actually might have just the person for you.”

A pause.

“Of course, only if you’re interested.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Her cat eyes dart to you again, now coveted in playfulness. “Cause issa boy.”

“On God--” With that, you groan and give her arm a light punch.

Jamie: Contact: Kang Younghyun

Jamie: he’s a friend from work

You: you work?

Jamie: what’s that supposed to mean

Jamie: frickin ingrate

The first time you meet Kang Younghyun was in a Starbucks outlet down the street from college. Jamie had plans after school so she wouldn’t be able to sit in the ‘shit-talk’ session with you, but she assures you that he was a nice guy, albeit sometimes too nice for his own good.

You had your notebook and pencil case laid out in front of you, with a cup of hot white chocolate mocha sitting at the edge of the table. You’ve only seen Younghyun from his profile picture when you contacted him, so you’d think he’s not difficult to recognise.

And yet when he first walks into the café, it still takes you sometime to register that this was your ‘shit-talk’ tutor. You watch him scan the length of the cafe, missing you the first time because you felt too awkward to raise your hand like you were in class.

But he catches you the second time, probably noticing how hard you were staring at him and hoping he could receive your telepathic signal. His hair was black and parted down the middle, with a pair of glasses with gold rims that made it look more like decor on his face than actual glasses.

“Hi, pleasure to meet you,” With his palm extended out, you are forced to stand against his tall build.

“Likewise,” Taking his hand in yours, the anxiety fills your stomach when the moment feels a little too long for comfort.

“Jamie’s talked to me about you, I hope you don’t mind.”

He grabs a seat and places his laptop case on the table. He’s wearing a honey-brown shirt with a baby-blue blazer, guilt-tripping you into feeling like you’ve underdressed.

Why did I think it was a good idea to come in a lame cardigan and jeans?

You don’t realise how long you’ve spent inside your head that it’s quiet outside.

“So,” He breaks the silence first, pulling out a notebook instead of a laptop. In fact, you don’t even think he had a laptop with him. “I assume you need some ideas or inspiration for an assignment?”

“Um,” You look down at your empty notebook, the jagged ridges of the spine showing the dozens of pages that you’ve ripped out and thrown into a corner of your apartment. “Not so much of an assignment, actually. I just... it’s my outlet. But I can’t spend my time spewing out all my feelings onto paper, can I?”

Younghyun’s surprise is easily read from his eyes widening when he looks up from his own notebook and at you. “And... and you’re paying me for that? To vent your feelings?”

I’ve said too much.

“I need that for myself, so... I’m just trying to get back on track. That’s all.”

“Oh, no, my apologies,” He shakes his hands, apologetic. “I didn’t mean to sound like I’m judging you or anything, it’s just... not many people would pay just for... well, whatever you just said.”

You bite down on your bottom lip, opting to reach for your beverage to hide the shame that was slowly brewing in your lungs. Younghyun blinks at his own notebook, worried that he’s offended you.

“It’s alright, since you sound like you just need inspiration or an outlet to talk to, I’ll be just that.”

You place the mug down and watch him keep his notebook away, leaning back into his seat and crossing his legs with his hands over his stomach. “I’ll start.”

Younghyun gets comfortable in his seat and rests his head atop the sofa seat, eyes glued to the ceiling with the lights reflecting off his glasses. He talks about music. The way the instrument vibrates in his hands when he strums the strings and the way the ground vibrates when the bass is connected to the bass amplifier.

He doesn’t look at you once, but that’s how you know he’s speaking from his heart. There was no need to write any of this down; seeing someone talk about what he loved without reading off a script was enough to tell you how much he’d hate life if he didn’t have it.

The same way you’d feel if you don’t get your writing gears back in check.

The weekly ‘tutor’ sessions stretch out into a month, then months before Younghyun is talking to you about his family, though you’ve gone round in circles talking about nothing but writing and reading. You were concerned if he was getting bored that you stuck to the same topic for months whilst he was literally talking about everything under the sun -- but he had a way with keeping you entertained, even if you were not.

“y/n.”

Sucking in a deep breath at the call of your name, you find yourself being shoved out of a trance - a trance of staring at him straight in his face. The blood rushes to your cheeks faster than you can react to his sneaky smile, the nerves in your body steering you to grab your mug of white chocolate mocha to hide half your face.

“Was there something on my face? Snow in my hair?” He whips out his phone and turns on the front camera.

“No, no, there was just--” He keeps his phone and looks at you. “Something in your eyebrow--”

If you could cringe anymore from your own lame excuse, you would’ve just disintegrated into a million atoms and vanish.

“Oh, really?” He pulls out his phone again, but it frustrates you because he’s just going to look like an idiot trying to pick something out that’s not there. But he takes you by surprise when he turns to you, face already leaning forwards with his glasses being pulled from his face. “Care to give me a hand here?”

A gulp finds your throat and the sweat starts to form in your palms. Usually in winter, you’d be freezing to death. But Younghyun right here wasn’t making it comfortable, he was making you feel warm and anxious to the bone.

Carefully, your hand reaches out and then he’s staring at you in your eyes. He hears you clear your throat because he flinches, watching your attention zoom in on his left eyebrow. Pretence was a game you aren’t accustomed to playing, but you make it through by gently brushing his brow and flicking your fingers in some other direction.

“Is it gone?”

He’s so close, you can feel his breath on your chin.

There was such a fleeting glimmer in his eyes, that had you blinked, you would’ve missed it. Is that what you really saw? Wander?

Nah--

“Did you get it?”

“Oh-- yeah, sure.”

Younghyun retreats, gently fixing his glasses. His laptop was before him now, doing his own work while working with you. Little did he know that he’s had so much effect on your ideas that you’ve stopped writing all together-- why?

Because you just know you’d be writing about him all the damn time.

“By the way, I just wanted to ask you about something--”

Ring

Your phone steals both your attention as it vibrates across the surface of the table, and Younghyun gestures for you to take it.

“Sorry,” You stand and pick it up, flipping it over and gritting your teeth when you see the caller ID. “You know this is my tuition timing, couldn’t you have called?”

“I would’ve but I couldn’t resist getting this information to you asap-- there’s this gig next weekend and I think you’ll love it.”

You turn around and look into the café, watching Younghyun’s back work on his laptop. A girl walks past, unable to resist a second glance at him. He doesn’t notice the more-than-innocent look in her face when they make eye contact, and he merely nods the look away as a form of acknowledgement.

“What time is it?”

“Yeah... that’s the problem. It’s during your tuition so... I guess you’re gonna have to pass up on that session next week.”

“What?” You say a little too loudly. Younghyun actually hears you from inside the cafe and turns around in his seat, cuing you to quickly turn away and face the road. “I’m not skipping tuition for a gig.”

“Aw come on, that’s bullshit. You don’t even need him to write well! Have you even been writing since he started tutoring you?”

“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t such an easy book to read.”

“Great. It’s Christmas eve then anyway, why’d you want to meet your tutor? Tell him you have something next Saturday and I’ll come pick you up from your apartment at 7.”

“Wait, Jamie--”

Beep

Younghyun’s eyes are brimming with anticipation as you sit down, not a regular sight - you don’t remember a time he’s looked at you like this.

“It was Jamie. She, uh-- We’re going out next weekend, told me to tell you that I’ll take a raincheck on next week’s session.”

“Oh,” He looks down at his hands. You can’t decipher if he’s disappointed or upset that you don’t know your priorities. But he hides it all too well with that gentle smile of his, and he waves it off. “It’s okay. You should take the weekend off. Besides, it’s not like you have any homework you owe me.”

That eyebrow raise should be illegal.

By the time next Sunday arrives, you were already beginning to regret your decision to let Jamie decide your schedule. You were giving up a chance to meet your tutor, who knows nothing but passion and love and writing and music -- for a gig you don’t even know the guest performers?

Jamie forces you into something more than a T-shirt and jeans, throwing you into a dress and a leather jacket over, making you look more like a high school student than a college one.

But Jamie’s excitement is much more overwhelming when you reach the Lotus Garden, and to your surprise, the ambience wasn’t all too bad. The lights were amber, giving the place a warmer hue. The crowd looked much friendlier than the ones you’d expect in a club, and the food served were... actual food. Not just alcohol and buffalo wings.

The stage was set up with different instruments and so when the lights dimmed down, the crowd was already offering low hoots and--

“What the fuck?!”

Jamie’s loud yell is drowned out with the sudden burst of claps and hoots when the band comes on stage, and all you can focus on is the familiar stranger with the bass in his hands.

“Is that--”

“The Hell’s Younghyun doin’ here?!” She’s got that confused-angry look going on in her eyes, and it humors you for a few seconds before you look back on stage.

This time, he doesn’t need a second chance to find you in the crowd.

There was still huge smile he had on his face that you could only wish was for you, and yet everything else on him was too difficult to divert your focus away from. Black hair slicked to the side; an all-black fit.

“I brought you here to get you away from him but he’s here...?!” She gasps loudly. The band has started playing but she obviously doesn’t care. “DID YOU KNOW HE WAS PLAYING AT THIS GIG--”

“What?! No!”

“You liar--”

“I didn’t know, I swear to God--”

“He’s staring at you like he wants to eat you-- My God!”

“No, I promise I didn’t know that he-- wait, he what?”

Jamie exasperatedly turns your shoulders to face the stage, and all you could see was Younghyun staring at you like he was singing the lyrics to you.

“난 그냥 너랑”

“같이 있는 게 좋아”

“나도 참 답이 없다 야”

Jamie’s probably screaming now -- no wait, she is -- because she’s losing her mind over the lyrical confession.

But how can you pay her your attention, when it feels like it’s just the two of you in the room?

The ten songs pass by in a flash, never once getting tired of staring back at him with Jamie screaming in your ear every now and then to make sure you were sane.

The band thanks the crowd, the screaming from the girls nearly drowning out their umpteenth ‘thanks’ into the microphone. So much for a calm crowd.

Jamie pulls you aside to save you from the mobbing that she probably already knows the band attracts, but Younghyun jumps off the stage instead of following his bandmates backstage, earning loud gasps from the crowd.

He pushes his way through the bodies that were just obstacles to him, heading straight for you and Jamie.

The sweat is sticking his fringe to his forehead, and he was slightly breathless from the performance adrenaline. He’s always been talking about music and lyrics but he’s never once talked about performing.

“Jamie!” He opens his arms to her.

“I know I’m not the one you want to hug, Brian.”

“Who’s Brian? Come on, get in here!” He forcefully wraps his arm around her and ruffles her hair with a closed fist, earning a punch to his stomach.

“Hey--” You pull Jamie back, showing the slightest disapproval of her violence. However Jamie doesn’t spare a second before she grabs you by your arm and replaces her initial position with you, throwing you into his chest awkwardly.

“Man, if I knew it was your band, I wouldn’t have bothered.”

Crossing her arms, she rolls her eyes away from your even-more awkward distancing. Then she gasps again, this time covering her mouth as she directly points to his nose.

“This was what you were worried about! You were scared that she’d reject your--”

“Ah--” He grabs Jamie and covers her mouth. “We agreed that you wouldn’t tell her, right?”

“Tell me what?”

You watch both friends dart their eyes to you, one filled with absolute mischief but the other’s ears looked redder than fire under the warm tone of the room.

Younghyun struggles to keep Jamie in his arms when she tries to break free, but he simply offers a service smile, nodding towards the stage. “Stay close, I’ll get you backstage.”

Jamie’s eyes are half-hooded with how unbothered she is, the security guard to the backstage door letting the two of you in once Younghyun informs him that you’re special guests. Once in the dressing room, Jamie shakes herself free of Younghyun, dashing to the other band members and happily throwing her arms around them.

Your hands are shy behind your back, unable to keep up with her excitement. You weren’t sure why he thought it would ease you, because it doesn’t --

Younghyun snakes his hand behind your back and interlocks your outer hand with his, giving you a tight squeeze while keeping it in place so that none of the other people in the room could see his little ministration.

“This is y/n, she’s the college student I’ve been tutoring over the weekend.”

“Yeah, right. ‘Tutoring’.” Jamie has her arm perched atop the tallest member’s shoulder, who was already halfway down a squat to let her reach that height.

“I’ll bolt first,” He announces. Then the tug on your hand before he releases feels like a signal. “Come on.”

You take a second glance at Jamie as he grabs his bass guitar and bag and hugs his band members.

‘Use protection’ she mouths.

Before you can send a slap across the room, Younghyun gently rests his palm on your shoulder. “I’ll send you home, let’s go.”

And just as you leave the dressing room, you can see Jamie offering you the dirtiest, most scandalous eyebrow raise ever.

Younghyun holds the back door of the café for you as you exit, the winter air turning your warm breaths into little clouds of vapor with every exhale.

He’s used to your inability to strike up a useful conversation, and you could tell he was anxious about you finally seeing him in this light.

“So, how was it? The performance?”

You turn to him, only to see his gaze burning right through you. Thank God it’s late, if not he would’ve seen right through the abrupt change in color of your cheeks.

“It was good,” You turn and nod to yourself, hoping he’d see it. “You never told me you perform.”

“Oh, well... It’s not often anyway,” Then you feel a material wrap around your neck. The scarf smells nothing but him, it’s dangerously intoxicating.

“Thank you,” You can feel the awkwardness setting in again. “So, what was it that you were afraid I’d reject you for?”

For the first time in four months, he goes quiet. Nothing but the sound of your shoes crunching over the snow and the cars that zip past the road.

He scratches his brow and fails to meet your eyes, his attention glued to his shoes instead. A small smile dominates your lips.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to tell me though, I respect your privacy.”

“It’s not that!” He quickly defends. “I just... I actually... wanted to ask you out, invite you to this gig as a performer’s guest. But then Jamie called you,” He rubs the back of his head. “We just didn’t expect it to be the same event.”

Inside your coat pockets, your hands are sweating. Under your dress, your heart is almost on the verge of being thrown up through your mouth. When was the last time I felt so nervous?

The silence in the walk gradually shifted from being awkward to mere peace, though Jamie’s screaming had already been recorded somewhere in your head. Your hand was already out in the open, for the sole reason it couldn’t stand anymore sweating in your pocket. Luckily, the winter wind was so dry, it aired your palms easily.

Younghyun is a brave person though, when he slots his fingers between yours. Confidently taking your hand in his, he cannot hide the smile that emerges on his face - and frankly, neither can you.

When you reach your apartment, it’s natural to invite guests in (right?), and Younghyun takes the invitation hesitantly, releasing your hand only for you to get the door open.

He’s looking around the single-bedroom apartment, a gorgeous view of the city right outside the window that your desk faced. The kitchen calls for you, your instincts telling you to get him a cup of warm tea as you leave him to wander around your apartment.

But he’s staring at the framed photo on the glass table at the sofa when you come out of the kitchen with his tea, and his eyes travel up from the photo to you with such care and concern, it makes you want to assume he’s already pitying you.

“It’s a cute picture--”

“It’s okay to ask. If you’re curious.”

The ceramic mug clinks onto the glass table.

Younghyun sets his guitar down and places his bag against the side of the two-seater sofa.

“I’m not going to ask if you’re uncomfortable.”

A small flashback to when you first met him. The way he so comfortably laid back in his seat and talked about playing the bass; how it felt.

“My mother was a children’s book author, and my dad read them to me every night because she was so busy writing them. But I could always see myself in her stories. The little girl who was so innocent, she let herself get bullied in school. The kitten that was afraid of thunder and lightning. The lone flower in a field of roses, but still gets picked out because it was a rare flower.”

A pause. You see nothing but the ceiling and hear nothing but his breathing next to you.

“After my dad passed away, my mother lost her memory to Alzheimer’s. I was studying Literature, hoping to become a poet when she was admitted to the care center. Then I found out her will left me everything she had in her possession, telling me to take my studies overseas and do what I want to do.”

You turn your head on the back of the sofa seat, worried that he’d be put off by the sad story that suddenly came up. There was that glimmer in his eyes again, then he purses his lips before leaning forward.

Your head is already tilted to the side, so he doesn’t shift himself much to cup your cheek in his hand, lips gentle against yours. Your eyes flutter shut upon the contact, feeling his warm pool around your cheek from his palm.

So gentle, it feels like feathers.

Younghyun pulls away, breath light on your philtrum when he presses his forehead against yours. Your eyes meet too close for comfort, and yet it feels like you’ve known him for too long.

“I admire your courage to be doing what you want to do. So, I hope you’ll let me help you get back whatever inspiration you need to write again.”

Your fingers are trembling when they attempt to stroke his cheekbone.

“You don’t need to worry about that, you are my inspiration.”

#day6 imagines #youngk imagines #younghyun imagines #day6 #day6 youngk #youngk fanfic #youngk scenarios #day6 younghyun #younghyun

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remindme2breathe · 3 years

Text

What comes easy won’t last long, and what lasts long won’t come easy

Here we are again. The flavor of the day is bland with a twist of desperation.

I am not perfect by any means. I make mistakes and like to think I’ve been capable of owning them. I’ve always thought of myself to be fairly level headed, someone who can look at the bigger picture from everyone’s position. I have been overly accommodating to the people who surround me, I try way harder for them then I do for myself. I am guilty of being ‘a people pleaser’. I don’t know when that started really, but in my 30′s it became severely obvious, and I kinda hate myself for that.

I am walking into my 8th year of my relationship with my boyfriend... B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D. Not Fiance, not husband... shit, hardly a partner. He is a BOY, and I am stuck here. Not against my will obviously, I can kick him out whenever I please, however, my life with him is a complicated one that effects too many people (there I am, people pleasing again. Buckle up folks, this happens often).

I am 7 years older then my boyfriend, let’s call him Blu (that was my dog’s name). I met Blu by accident actually. In May of 2013 my then husband and I decided we just could not work it out anymore and we split ways. We were cordial, able to remain friendly for the sake of our kids. We accepted that although we failed MARRIAGE, we will not fail Co-Parenting. He left our family home in May and by September I met Blu. There’s some chaos there but I’ll tell that tale on another occasion. Remember when I said I met Blu by accident? I was serious. I had a friend named Emma who loved drama! She came to my house and told me about a site that she found out her boyfriend was on and she wanted to see if he would flirt with me (or another fake identity she made up to be honest, she just used my information to create an account), I call that playing with fire, but you know how that can go. Anyway, she did what she needed to and got the information that she wanted. I was uninterested in those apps so I never bothered to look into it. A couple of days later someone named Blu would send me multiple messages trying to get me to talk. I decided to respond, I explained that my name wasn’t what was listed and explained the whole situation to him, he just laughed it off. I didn’t know then that he was so familiar with drama like my darling friends little stunt. Anyway, we got to talking and it was very soon when he asked if I was interested in meeting up. After all the crime shows and books I’m into it was a hard HELL NO for me. I asked him to give me a little time, I also explained my position.

He told me a lot about himself, single dad, shares custody of two very young children with his ex. He lived with his parents about 2 miles from where I was. He didn’t seem cocky or arrogant, or maybe I just didn’t see it. We exited the chats and moved on to phone texts. He would message me every morning, afternoon and night. He knew about the age difference and didn’t care. Meanwhile I felt incredibly insecure about it. After about 7 weeks I finally caved and said I would meet him somewhere public, he said his family was having a BBQ at his house for me to just come by. I thought that out and figured: who would kill or rape me with all their family there?! So I went, but I never went inside his home. I stayed by my car, we talked for hours. I remember in the end I was fitting on the trunk of my car and him on the edge of the sidewalk... maybe 1:30 am when I finally decided to head home. He didn’t try any funny business, and was completely respectful. Before I left he asked if he can take me out to eat somewhere, like an official date, I still felt a little odd but I agreed. At that dinner I told him everything, about my pending divorce, how my custody is currently working, etc.

Me and him were from different worlds entirely. There were a few occasions that really pointed the differences out. For example, he listens to REAL MEXICAN MUSIC (google CALIBRE 50) where as my Mexican music consisted of Reggeton, Salsa, Bachata. He was 100% grounded in his Mexican roots, where my mixed breed havin’ ass was raised in an American household, where dinners were served at a certain time, we ate together as a family, we attended church on Sundays, we were close. The structure of my life was typical American Family with the added components of my nationalities; Mexican and Puerto Rican. We didn’t curse around our elders, I didn’t know of drugs, or habits. That was the first shot, the second time I noticed the difference was in October when we made arrangements to carve pumpkins with his kids and mine. On that particular day his mom and sisters were home, so of course I invited them to participate. They looked at the pumpkins as though they just landed from outter space! The third time was just a couple of months after, December. While my house was decked out with Christmas trees, stockings, and nicely wrapped presents... his house had no tree, no gifts, nothing.

We have gone through a lot over the years, mostly good things (or so I thought). Have you ever laid next to someone you felt the closest to and think Gosh, I don’t even know him? Eight years later and I still think that. I use to cry myself to sleep. I still feel so incredibly alone, and more so... misunderstood. The SANE me wants to think I have a right to think this way, but he comes in and convinces me that I am the problem. Meet Blu, head of the narcissists.

He is consumed with his cars, weed and sex. He has a problem with being faithful. And I have a problem with trusting him, and every time I feel I can let my guard down, he always comes in to remind me that I can’t. Things are about to get personal, I hope you don’t mind.

The first time I found out about his ‘extra activities’ we were already living together, this was maybe a little over a year after we became official with each other. He left his phone in the living room and it was getting a ton of texts, to my luck he is also a very heavy sleeper. I opened the messages and read them (OMG WHY WOULD YOU GO THROUGH HIS MESSAGES?! FK OFF KAREN, THIS IS MY REALITY, NOT YOURS!). It was a girl asking if he was gonna go by. I messaged her back as though I was him and she went along. I ended up waking him up, my eyes red and burning from all the crying. I asked him about it and all he was able to say is WHY ARE YOU GOING THROUGH MY PHONE, turned it off and went to bed. I remember feeling low, but that didn’t stop me dumb ass from going to lay next to him and crying until I fell asleep. He ended up changing his number after a few days and said he was ‘sorry’. Those types of situations happened maybe twice a year.

In 2016 I helped him open his own business, he had no money so I put up most of it (yes, stupid, I hear ya!) with the condition that he would not be listed on any documents as an owner. He argued with me about me not making him feel like a man (people pleasing in 3, 2, 1...) So I added him to the paperwork. I felt bad for him, I never wanted him to feel like that despite what he made me feel like. On one occasion he was working late, me being scar’d for life, I called him about 12:20 am and asked if I could take him anything or if he needs something because he had been working since 2 pm. He told me he was fine, but I said OK LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING. I went anyway to ‘take him food’, when I was driving up a black Honda was driving off, and there was Blu looking like he saw a ghost. I asked who that was an immediately he yelled and asked why I was there. I said that I brought him something to eat to which he said MY FRIEND JUST BROUGHT ME SOMETHING... my friend... hmmm... At about 4 a.m. I messaged and asked if he was ok and he said IM NOT COMING HOME, IM DONE! My pride didn’t allow this to just happen, I responded with OK. I locked his ATM card, Gas Card, and any credit lines. He came home (I thought he would) hootin and hollerin! I quietly took my explosion waiting for him to finish. At that point I said to just leave the work truck keys and to be on his way. He refused.

In 2018 he started recording his phone calls for work purposes (you wouldn’t believe how many people try and cheat ya to save a buck!). I had access to the recordings but never listened to them because they were of a bunch of truckers asking for stuff. One day though, I was triggered. He said he was going to go down the street to help my sister and brother in law move something. I thought it was strange because my sister told me everything! So when he left I asked her about it, she said ‘yea it was weird he offered to come help’ I then asked her to call me once he left. About 10 minutes later I got the text “HEY SORRY HE LEFT LIKE 5 MINUTES AGO BACK HOME” We lived literally five minutes away, so I waited. After about 30 minutes I decided to listen to the recordings. He called a girl asking her to meet him in the Bank Of America Parking lot about 5 minutes the opposite way, he told her he was able to leave his kids with his dad for a little while so he can go see her. My heart SANK. I felt it at the pit of my stomach. This entire douche bag drove MY CAR to see some hoe??? FOR REAL! So I texted him and said where are you? He messaged about 10 minutes later and said IM ON MY WAY HOME I JUST FINISHED AT YOUR SISTERS. I didn’t respond. When he came it we went at it. Let me clear the air: I AM NOT AN ARGUER. I don’t find it useful to scream and yell, but my emotions were shot, I was on a different level now. I dropped the bomb! I guess he didn’t see it coming because he was unable to keep up with the shit storm I was dishing out. In the middle of it, that broad had the nerve to call him. I told him to answer it and he said no. When I got ahold of his phone he had the NUTS to tell me NOT TO FK IT UP FOR HIM. Shattered. I was non-existent.

to be continued

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energonalucard · 6 years

Text

Killer Kyoudai AU

Kyoudai= Brothers

Wait? What do you mean? You just said their names?

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:12 PM

… Hey. Would the Killer Kyoudai been more interesting as Magnum’s brothers in the main series than his actual brothers?

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:13 PM

…huh

AU: The Killer Brothers are Magnum Ace's brothers and the Silver/Fighter Brothers were made just to counter the murder sprees they go on as detectives. They also adopt Magnum at one point.

This is the wonderful trip on Discord that happened to the AU... Also, I'm "Minion tO WHO?" and yes, I wanna change my name too. It's bugging my brain. :P

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:13 PM

Magnum having no brothers, then suddenly the KK or the KK always being his bros?

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:14 PM

I never said good. Just interesting. Like, if applied, it might say a lot of Magnum as an Iron Soldier. Latter.

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:16 PM

The Killer Kyoudai being the brothers that would seduce and kill as they please, and being soldiers isn't any better. Magnum being the heavy arms kinda bro.

Just musing...

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:16 PM

that would actually be kind of interesting, though

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:16 PM

Killer Kyoudai trying to get him back into the old days

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:19 PM

"Come on Nii-san~" Killer Q would say as he puts his leg up on the Leaguer they'd nearly beat to death. "Oh kick wouldn't hurt! For old time sake~!"

"Yes! It would!" Magnum cries, "Get off him! And I don't do that anymore!"

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:21 PM

heck, they'd be the ones who engineered GZ's kidnapping, probably

they might even remember him and feel like messing with him for old times' sake

…………yo imagien this applied to hero au, holy smokes

(( Hero AU is a Iron Leaguer AU based on super powered human Silver Castle taking on the world! It's really good! ))

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:25 PM

"Nii-chan!" Killer Q attaching himself to Magnum's side.

Magnum trying to pry away. "No!"

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:25 PM

OAO OH MY GOD

And just when we’re making Spirits and Arrow the most lovingly good brothers in Hero AU too!

Like, they were so close as the Silver San Kyoudai. Inseparable

Chaoit-Yesterday at 6:27 PM

whhhy

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:27 PM

A big part of Spirits' character arc is actually him learning that he needs to stop blaming himself for Magnum's 'disappearance'.

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:28 PM

It's like a Spanish soap opera stereotype!

*joking narrator voice* Who's parents had three kids? Who has the paperwork for Magnum's birth?

Chaoit-Yesterday at 6:28 PM

oh my god that'd be crazy

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:29 PM

I just think it would be interesting if Magnum was forced to become a villain, and then in the killer brothers au, they ended up willingly doing some villain stuff

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:30 PM

The Silver Kyoudai, in the Killer Brother AU, are Girochi's counter to these murderous brothers.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:30 PM

…oooh

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:30 PM

Nothing too special, just them being suspicious of Magnum as well.

"You have the same coding, and the same ferocity as them! Who's to say you won't kill for pleasure as well?"

"I'm not my brothers! I've changed!"

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:32 PM

and silver castle stands by him against the killer brothers

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:33 PM

"The words of few, don't counter the names of the dead." Arrow would say as they back down. They don't wanna start a fight.

!!!

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:40 PM

But you know what would be awesome? Magnum proving himself and then the fighter brothers just end up adopting him

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:40 PM

The Silver Kyoudai being like detectives because we don't fully understand their origins.That would make the FK's already cold shoulder to Magnum make sense. And they actually hug him at the end.

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:43 PM

YES

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:45 PM

I'm not salty I swear

Them actually treating Magnum good when they get videos and tapes of the old brothers antics and seeing Frontier grow traumatised.

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:46 PM

Again. All up for loving Fighter Brothers

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:46 PM

What would the KK's old names be???

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:47 PM

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:49 PM

Could they be the Silver's or should they be Platinum or Bronze...

Chrome actually seems nice! It's just like silver, but it's blended with steel and is usually higher quality then gold.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:57 PM

Chrome Frontier for magnum. Then Chrome Harpoon for Q, maybe? And Chrome Intrepid for B. or switch as needed

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:58 PM

Intrepid is more humerous, so Q fits better.

B as Harpoon actually sounds cool!Birth order?

I feel...

B, Magnum, Q?

Or Magnum, B, Q?

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:00 PM

middle, maybe?

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:00 PM

Chrome Harpoon, Chrome Frontier, Chrome Intrepid.

Sounds awesome!

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 7:01 PM

Q missed his big brother so much

And seeing him turn into such a goodie good?

utter betrayal in his eyes

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:02 PM

Magnum was probably always the more morally upstanding one. like, he might have done some rough play, but he always kind of hated it

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 7:03 PM

Killer B always had arguments with him

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:07 PM

Killer B being the kinda older brother you'd hate to get angry. Girochi gave Harpoon responsibility over Frontier and Intrepid and he takes Harpoin's word for everything.

Shock circuit lv 1 almost every time you don't kill someone must be traumatizing.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:10 PM

When they were retired, Frontier tried to run away. When his brother s found him, he ran to them, thinking they had escaped too and now they could run away. Imagine his horror when he realizes that they have upgrades, but they're willing to go and kill, and they grab him and cart him off to be reformatted.

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:11 PM

His screams of terror still rock Richard, and he promises to make the G3 better then this. More loving then this.

Girochi separating VZ for one mission only and the absence of BV and QV at his side makes a small spark in his head say, 'Is Harpoon making you...?'

His old life flashes before his eyes and he drops the Leaguer head he had crushed.

Fleeing to Earth is the same, recruiting is the same except...Magnum has no tolerance for breaking Silver Castle's pacifist streak. NO TOLERANCE AT ALL.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:22 PM

and when he sees the way the GSK stick together, he feels a pang of longing

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:22 PM

Top Joy getting a hand ball? Okay, fine. Top Joy kicking it in their own goal? Fine. Top Joy attacking another mech in Soccer? No way! TOP JOY WITH A BOMB?! They're having a talk.

Longing, yes. Forgiving, not really.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:24 PM

well, yes. but like… he kind of wishes that he'd had that

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:27 PM

Definitely! He wishes they'd have their relationship, but he knows it's too good to be true. Doesn't keep him from staring at the stars wanting his brothers arms around him as they celebrate finding him safe.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:28 PM

When they actually show up, he gets their arms around him. And he wants them to let go.

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:30 PM

He can feel death clinging to them. He knows they missed him, but he's beyond the cute "Nii-san!" act. His team has taught him about health relationships by now, and the clawing paws of these too are filled with blood.

Death and satisfaction are hard to breathe in. And Magnum is overheating.

Magnum shrugging them off and looking at them. Was... Was Dark f!ching kidding? Silver Castle was so well off they... stooped so low to beat them!

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:35 PM

…yo. Imagine the Killer Brothers specifically targeting Windy to beat the sh!t out of him because how dare their brother find someone else?

(( Torture Warning ))

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:37 PM

Beating the hell out of the Gold Brothers too because aren't they just cute! Killer B holding up Gold Arm's head as Killer Q takes pictures after beating them all up because they have a say on if they get on the team or not.

Magnum x4 trauma when he receives pictures of all four being beaten. Even Windy, on field. How had he missed that?

Them finding Gold Foot adorable. He wanted to protect everyone, and his fire and defiance was similar to Magnum's~!

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:41 PM

I wasn't even thinking on field. i was thinking they jumped windy while he was taking a walk and took their sweet time torturing him physically and psychologically

…oh man. maybe they even see how the gold brothers are like them. also, imagine them (this is gory) mentioning how Arm has firey eyes, and Q rips one out to take a look at it

maybe not but still

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:42 PM

Yes! It's an AU, so it doesn't matter how gory! All the gore!

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:42 PM

i can write some good gore. i like writing the occasional gory fic

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:42 PM

Arm's eye, Foot's leg(s), and Mask's teeth.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:43 PM

maybe not teeth. maybe those finials. heck, maybe foot/arm p!sses them off and so they take it out on mask

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:45 PM

Mask losing more then his finals after Foot tries to tear B's face off. Mask looses his finals, everything attached to the finals, loses all his spikes violently (feet and shoulders), his chest armor as they mess with his none lethal innards.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:47 PM

and they punch and kick him, they mess up his face, too. their cleats cut him up, and Q stomps on his hand, shattering some of the mechanisms

the wrorst part: Foot knew there'd be consequences for that. He was paranoid, expecting them at every turn.

he wasn't expecting mask to show up at his door after dragging himself up to their quarters

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:49 PM

The only thing working in Mask's bodies are his legs, and he just falls on Foot's floor and doesn't wanna move.Him screaming for Arm, for Foot, and still softly crying for them on Foot's own floor. Arm pulling out his IV's as he takes off when Foot calls him about this.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:53 PM

I mean, I bet they're fine with doing a lot of things b/c the mechanics can fix it

…yo. thunder bolt captures GZ. someone attacks him, and GZ breathes a sigh of relief…

…until he sees who it is

Chaoit-Yesterday at 7:54 PM

yep, then it's like 'I think I preferred my attacker'

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:54 PM

They rip into Thunder Bolt like paper, GZ seeing what the battlefield can do to psychopaths. And the oil that freezes on the ice stains him as well.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:55 PM

and then they turn to him

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:56 PM

Them being vicious and just circling him like predators as they skate slowly.

"Nii-san chooses the weirdest friends!" Q would say happily.

"Thicker armor, war grade, 1000 year stare. He is a strange one." B would chuckle, "But he's not all that tough. He fell in a trap with lions."

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 8:02 PM

Q coming closer to GZ's face and taking in his eyes as he goes back to circling. "His eyes are pretty, but not as pretty as Gold Arm's! It's still in my chassis pocket, Nii-san!"

GZ just has the biggest heart attack ever, and that's saying something. Gold Arm's... eye? What did they do to them?

B taking Q's place in GZ's face. "Don't tell him anything, commander. This is an officers meeting and very coincidental."

"Nii-san... Someone entered the building and is heading this way." Q pipes up as Magnum and all Silver Castle bursts into the building. "We need to vanish."

They frame GZ. They knock him out, untie him, and put their murder weapons on GZ's person and make him hold it. They slink out a back entrance.

Chaoit-Yesterday at 8:19 PM

((well shit

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 8:20 PM

Remember what I said about Magnum taking no shit from rough play? Oh boy!

Be doesn't know what to believe. He knows GZ couldn't have done it but all the paper's were talking about the autopsy of Thunder Bolt. It's a hockey weapon, it's very strong, and it looks to have been one assailant because the murder weapon was left on the ice.

"It was the Killer Kyoudai, you have to believe me, Magnum!" GZ would beg as the team didn't know what to do here.

"GZ... I believe you." Magnum will say as he startles GZ a bit. "But the news articles... They won't see it like us... If only we had proof. Like if they stashed something away..."

Stashed? On their person...? Gold Arm's eye!

"Magnum, I have an idea!" GZ would look at Magnum with determination here.

Chaoit-Yesterday at 8:26 PM

risky risky))

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 8:27 PM

Since the G3 are being fixed in secret orders, and no one is the wiser about their condition. The KK can be free reined on the rink next week. Oh wait, those Silver Brothers were in the way...

The Silver Brothers are introduced here on the rinks as it's their big entrance. They are ace detectives, and Girochi is confident with them here, and incident like Thunder Bolts either won't happen or won't stay a mystery for long.

The Silver Brothers suspect Magnum Ace, Killer Q, Killer B, GZ, and Flash Kid. All have a motive to kill Thunder Bolt in cold blood for practise on a rink.They try to keep Silver Castle in their pacifist circle but Flash Kid and the Killer Brothers seem to always overwhelm the the underdogs.

They also might have history with Chrome Frontier...

In one episode, they clash and have a memory surge...

Turns out...

(( This is where Chronological Order becomes shit, so bear with me here. We were hyped up on ideas and everything went to shit. But you know where everything goes, hopefully. 😅 ))

After the Chrome Kyoudai killed a whole team of underdogs who tarnished their Dark name by winning, and Silver Justice and Silver Gallant were on the case back then. They had many restless nights as the CK kept killing while they accidentally fussed over paperwork.

Silver Gallant and Silver Justice are threatened with retirement from their sports if they don't find the murderers and they are like 1000% stressing until... Chrome Frontier knocks on their door with a broken and oil stained bat. He confesses everything and he rats out his brothers as he cries out he didn't wanna kill them.

That's how the Chrome Kyoudai were pulled in the Iron Soldier Program and Frontier tried to run away. But his brothers dragged him kicking and screaming into the underground as they wanted to kill kill kill and Frontier wasn't ruining this for them.

The Silver Kyoudai were retired because they knew too much about everything, and they made good looking war products.

Back to present day, Magnum gets access to their system by accident and wins the match that leads them into the championships.

GZ calling everyone into a meeting after the game. Once everyone gathers, he whips out a Leaguer's eye and holds it out. "I got Gold Arm's eye."

Chaoit-Yesterday at 8:46 PM

((GZ what the hell boy?

((tact is a thing you need to practice

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 8:47 PM

Top Joy gagging, Ryuuken being disgusted, and Windy being angry on why he had it.

Magnum explains, "The Gold Brothers must be in danger, GZ got the eye off of Killer Q's person. The Gold Brothers, as reported by Juurouta, had to fight to Killer Kyoudai to get back in Dark... They could be dead."

GZ nods as he hands it to Bull Armor, the only one with medical knowledge of any kind here. "They told me as they slaughtered Thunder Bolt that my eyes were as cute as the one they had on them. Gold Arm's."

Bull examines it and cringes. "The line that connects it to the cortex is strained and stretched. It was ripped out..."

Top Joy might have fainted.

Windy might have punched a hole somewhere.

And Ryuuken might have swore a bad one.

Juurouta pipes up. "How do we catch them. Even their own ace detectives can't track the two they bunk with."

It's starting to slow down on me, I'm going to make a part 2 and I'll see if it helps! Read more if you dare! 😈

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alyjojo · 4 years

Text

Today is the story of how my pregnancies came to be, without the fun stuff. It plays a very large role in why I believe in God tbh.

So my ex. It’s a relevant start. Him and I were together four years, never used protection, dumb as that is. I bring that up at because, for much of that time, I just didn’t have periods. Like at all.

After about a year of waiting and taking pregnancy tests wondering what the hell, I went to the doctor (I hate doctors...back then fear won, a lot) and she gave me pills to force me to have one.

I would have one sporadically after, so I didn’t feel like a mutant, and I’d be like well okay...and didn’t go back to the doctor. But it was every few months.

PCOS seems to run in my family, my cousin has used years of fertility treatments to have children, and though it’s worked it’s been a hell of a struggle for her. I was always kind of afraid I couldn’t have kids.

July 2007, I felt a way that was different, didn’t have a period as usual, took a pregnancy test. This was a regular thing with the lack of periods. Positive. ....what?? Told him, and he lost his fn mind. I can’t describe just how stupid he acted, and I was lost. How I knew later he was a cheating pos. We went to Planned Parenthood to take their test. Negative. Idiot danced to his car, and something in me knew he was an idiot but I just let it go.

We broke up a few days later, he did, of course.

The day after we broke up, midst all my emotions yanno how that goes, I started on my own for the first time in...I couldn’t remember. And it stayed that way, regular, every month, ever since.

Mom said “it’s the guy”, who by that point she was kind of disgusted with too lol. Well. Yeah. It was? Seems so. Angry and blaming and rawr at God like I was and they were like nope sorry...not that one, and I just showed you that 🙏

He continuously plays a role in this story. Idk if he was A soulmate of some sort. I’m definitely one of his life lessons. It’s always been...deeper, even if we don’t even get along. At all.

Ok so hubby. Years later. Ex was long gone, didn’t talk didn’t nada, I lived with my boyfriend 😜 and his parents for a year, working on my car and saving money for a place. Which I did, we moved in August and September 18 (my late gmas bday), I hadn’t had a period and took a test like oh this crap again. Honestly didn’t think I could have kids...never had a scare in the year I’d already been with hubby.

Pregnant. Whaaat? So my EX sends me an email the next fn day. How? I have no idea. I had told hubby...that’s it. I don’t even remember what the email said, how are you or something idk, I avoided it like the plague before being like omg just answer and writing something quickly, send, delete. Never read it again. I’d gotten him out of my brain space tyvm bye. Well in my response was something like lol I’m pregnant. He was the 2nd person to know. And considering he flipped out and left over a baby...karma.

In my later belief system, and seeing my oldest’s chart, she has much Libra/Scorpio influencing her (10th, Saturn/Moon). I felt like initially that positive may have been her, just long enough to get him tf out. The timing of his message blew my mind. Didn’t speak again for like 10 years, baby daughter got the name I had always wanted, and gmas middle to honor her. I still see 9:18 periodically. Love u Gma ❤️

So next baby. After two years in our first apartment, we were bombarded with BEES 🐝 Like this was insane level of bees, you couldn’t leave the house without these threatening mfers chasing you to the car, management was shit, we moved.

Moved into a bigger nicer apartment in a nicer part of town. August again. Had a fun night with some drinks to celebrate the night we moved in...no protection, big fun, hubby joked drunk, there’s #2.

So September 11th...I bought it 😆 But I refused to do it on that day. September 12th...hello baby girl #2.

Years and years pass, we use condoms regularly. Very careful always. Idk how my son came to be and I’ll say it till I die. I went back to work, I had lost a bunch of weight lol, I was not in baby mode at all. I was 100% done. So much that for two months I didn’t even realize. Until my jeans stopped fitting and I was like WTF. Sure enough. Hello baby boy.

I had been playing the sure let’s be friends game 🙄 with some of my ex’s after hubby’s stupid bs. Nothing more trust & believe, hell no. And it just doesn’t work as friends either so idk why we ever tried. Will never get along. The other ones were just drama...was my Saturn return, that was a nightmare. Then we entered his, and that was also a nightmare. That’s as much as I’ll say about that 💯

The last thing I said to that same ex, 10 years later...I’m pregnant 😆 It’s a kind of karma somehow. Goodbye again, the same way it’ll always be. Like God was like I’m sorry, you need a reminder?

My children ❤️

I always blamed my husband for doing it on purpose. Because he was so happy when I was. He’ll always deny it, but the boy came out DADDY’S boy and I just let him take over because...well he wanted to. And for the first time, the baby wanted, demanded, him too. It was actually insanely sweet, still is.

I went to the doctor and said I guess I’m due in February? She’s like try Christmas. I literally threw away the whole doctor and got a new one because I thought she was lying to me 😆

So on Christmas DAY, 6pm, I’m making meatloaf bc I knew a baby would be coming soon and we didn’t want a fridge full of leftovers...water breaks. 7cm dialated by 7pm, they gave me meds to slow down while hubby dropped off the kids at gmas. Little Aries moon was OUT in four hours 🤣 My biggest baby.

Jane...we were again very careful. Condom flew off inside of me completely. Like flew. Idk how tf that happens and it was very uncomfortable to fix btw. We knew, and when it was positive, we knew. We were not in a good place at that time. It was bad.

She was due on my cousins bday, and down to the very signs they would’ve been similar, and my cousin has lost babies...kind of how we had our falling out. She was mad at me for having my boy, but she was petty and rude to me for months, it broke my heart, then her mom my aunt tells me how she and my mother just talk shit about us both, when I trusted her the most, I just...bye. Gtfo ur one of them. Cried.

Well Jane. I lost Jane. I’ll always be sad about it. Cap with Gemini moon (supposed to) ended up being a little lost Leo. Same middle name as my cousin.

It’s here I’ll mention our foster kids. Hubby’s niece by blood, nephew by marriage. They were hard, that situation was hard, the boy is on the spectrum (which I now know means dick all really, he’s incredibly normal despite his horrific early circumstances) and he alone needs a lot of care. And their parents broke up and his dads side wanted them...he’s not ours, how could we claim him first? Our niece fits like a glove, she is ours. His sisters. We felt it was taking away from our kids after awhile, having two more suddenly, with DFS and court and visits and phone calls. We were getting screamed at by the parents for trying to be good people...then my car broke down with this timing chain nightmare, his was totaled (fk u forever)...then came the positive with boy, and we gave the kids to their Dad’s mom. Who is a very nice lady, with money, sister in law be pissed or not. We all felt we just couldn’t do it.

The boy was a Christmas Eve boy. Hilarious and so smart and adorable and sweet, just a lot of work. Our niece, a Leo, born way too early (late Oct due date). Small, tiny, but healthy.

My son is Christmas Day. Hilarious and SO smart and adorable and so sweet...a lot of work. Can not look away for two seconds. Also breaks things. Also punches his sisters. Even looks kinda like our nephew. Its eerie.

I tell my husband we didn’t keep the kids...we had the kids 😞 Because I ended up losing my little Leo, born way too early 😢

These kids are why I believe everything, they’re why I have faith, they’re how I notice the funny little things others wave off as oh it’s coincidence. No, it’s not.

Whether there’s another in the future idk. With Covid it’s not something I want right now. I did have my heart set on 4, once Jane came into the picture.

Maybe someday. Maybe not. Besides #2, which hubby joked about, and she’s a silly sarcastic goose just like her Daddy 😆, it seems God has more say on that then I ever have. With everything.

Take charge types scold me like “you have the power”, and I’m like oh yeah watch this. Try to work or try to do anything, car tires burst or something, some emergency, hubby has some insane project he needs me with them for, a baby appears, or foster kids, something always happens to keep me home. They all need me here. Just how it works in my life.

Someday...who knows? For now, this year, I’m a homeschool teacher ❤️ We’re happy 😊

0 notes

cloelia1987 · 7 years

Text

Blue Exorcist Theory #1

This in an old theory of mine from before chapter 90 came out. I posted it on The Blue Knight forum months ago but since the site is currently “down” I thought about posting it here. WARNINGS: I’m a talkative freak and my English is... *cough*

Dear crescenti-C, here it is! :)

As for chapter 89's last pages, we're left with Yukio confronting Rin, the first visibly pissed at the latter's lack of curiosity toward their origins. Ok, I'll take it from here.

I highly doubt that Yukio is gonna gain something out of this confrontation. Unable to get a real explanation out of his bro as to why he doesn't care that much about discovering the truth behind their birth, Yukio (in a fit of anger) will get out of bed and make his way off the room. Rin could try to stop him (as he's standing near the door) and will at least ask him where is he going, but will get no real answer. Seeing how much Yukio is irritated, he'll decide to let him be.

After Suguro and co. fly to Kyoto, Yukio may try to meet Lightning in private in order to get from him some info about what happened at the monastery (using his smart talking style and so on) and taking advantage of the fact that Suguro (and Shima=the Illuminati pressure) are away. Yukio starts off declaring that he suspects that Lightning is investigating something related to his and Rin's past, that's why he went to the monastery. I do believe that Yukio is smart enough to have guessed that the priest (Misumi) died coz of the Morinas contract's demon who killed him and not for natural causes as officially stated (we're never shown Yukio approaching Misumi's coffin neither before or after overhearing that Lightning was at the monastery the morning the guy died, but it's not hard for me to imagine, after hearing that, that Yukio may have gone back to where Misumi's coffin is placed to take a look at his neck and find out the symbol of the contract). Anyway, If that's the case, that would mean that the guy was keeping some secret and was forced to reveal it, thus breaking the contract and having the demon take his life (Yukio himself has a Morinas contract on him, so he knows how it works). And the one who forced him to break that contract was... Lightning. Lightning may be impressed by the way Yukio puts together all the pieces. He could laugh at his face and compliment him. At this point, Yukio asks Lightning if what he's truly investigating is the Blue Night incident.

At this point I do think that Lightning may be "tempted" to talk to Yukio about what he learned so far about Asylum and Section 13, he could even be somewhat "amazed" by Yukio's talent and could like the idea to have him join the investigation in a active way. But, I don't think he will accept to let Yukio actually join (the Okumura bros are part of the equation too, afterall). At this point, Lightning will decline Yukio's offer to help him investigate the Blue Night and will take his leave from him. We will be shown an amused Mephisto watching the whole scene from a distance. Yukio, at this point, may receive a call and be reminded that the exorcists exams' day is about to approach and he has to reunite with the other teachers in order to organize matters. This will keep Yukio's mind busy for a lil while.

There's a time skip and we finally get to the day of the infamous exorcist exam. Like, now this could be a perfect chance to fk everything up :D What I pictured in my head is that in this day, the exwires and all of the teachers reunite in a place to run a "final test" (*insert any kind of test you'd expect to see for a exorcist exam*). The Kyoto trio is back, and Shiemi may show up just to support her friends in the day they may officially become exorcists. Things between Rin and Yukio are still awkward. Shura notices something. Lightning is there too (btw, is he still one of the cram school's teachers? We're not shown him teaching lessons for a while now, so I'm not sure). Mephisto obviously is there too. And he obviously has a plan.

Mephisto knows that Yukio has shared a conversation with Lightning (he obviously knows that it was about the Blue Night). At this point, with the official excuse of "restraining Yukio before he gets to discover -too much- on his own" Mephisto sets in motion his plan. Toward the end of the exam, some True Cross "agents" (*insert a role here*) show up announcing they've been sent by the Grigori with the order to put Okumura Yukio under arrest. GENERAL SHOCK. Without adding any detail, the "agents" proceeds to take Yukio into custody. Rin watches the scene in total awe, as everyone else. Yukio is left speechless but looks like he's about to burst. As the agents approaches him, Shura loses it and asks em what is Yukio exactly accused of. They finally declare that Okumura Yukio is put under arrest for having been found "unclear" during some of his latest "daily tests". Being the son of Satan's brother but having only recently developed a change in his "genes", the Grigori wish to keep him in isolation as a potential threat, also to better analyze the situation. At this, everyone is even more shocked.

Yukio knows for sure that what the agents are stating is not true, but he's mixed with having doubts (since his genes may have finally started to "mutate" due to his demonic powers) or... that being all Mephisto's doing! He stares at Mephisto from a distance with a blank expression and find his confirmation in Mephisto's amused grin. In that moment, Yukio recalls Lucifer's words (about him lacking protection and risking to be held captive in case the secret of his eyes was found out... or worse, even executed) and starts to inwardly panick. Rin finally snaps and tries to stop the agent who's bringing Yukio away. He screams out that it's impossible that Yukio possesses any demonic power and that there's no reason to take him away like that. He tries his best to defend Yukio. At this, Yukio recalls that same old memory of his big bro protecting him when they were kids. At this, anger builds up and as Rin is still interceding for him, Yukio screams: "Stay out of it! THIS IS MY PROBLEM!" Rin is taken aback. After a moment he asks Yukio if it's ok for him if they arrest him with that accuse. Rin: "I mean, it's not true that you possess Satan's power. They're lying ..." Yukio: "... and what if they're not?" *insert Yukio's evil glare* *Rin instantly paralyzes*

In the general silence, the agents keeps to bring Yukio away. But... Lightning makes his move and helps him... evade! Yukio is not willing to accept Lightning's help at first, but the guy jumps close to him, enough to whisper him that he got a plan. Yukio, confused and slightly scared for his fate, decides to trust him and runs away while Lightning keeps the agents busy.

Mephisto is ok with this, though. With no place for him anymore into the True Cross Order (being now a fugitive and all), prolly this situation will finally force Yukio to knock at the Illuminati's door, as he secretely desires.

The agents start chasing Yukio. The situation eventually sets down. The first to show some kind of reaction is Shura which walks towards Mephisto and grabs him by his neck. She asks him if this is all his doing. Mephisto, to calm her, confess (even if it's not true) that he organized that plan in order to protect Yukio from the Illuminati which have been secretely trying to recruit him. Suguro glares at Shima, who simply flashes him his trademark smile. Rin is in total shock. A few hrs drop by and the exwires are back in the cram school and are still trying to process the situation. Shiemi tries to confort Rin, alongside the others. In that moment, one of the teachers enters the room to announce the results of the exams. Everyone is promoted to Exorcist rank in their respective Meisters. But no one feels like celebrating at all.

Mephisto makes his appearance and congratulates the students. He announces that he got his first mission for em as official exorcists... the mission carries a direct order from the Grigori emselves...

And... The Yukio Rescue Arc officially begins!

Mephisto is accompanied by Lightning, who was previously summoned by the Grigori for an explanation as to why he "helped" Yukio run away. Lightning tells the exwires, pardon, now EXORCISTS that the reason he "approached" Yukio was to mark him with a "sylph bell" (the same thing he used on Shima to keep track of his movements). -- Lightning managed to convince the Grigori he wasn't purposely helping Yukio make his run. Btw, after succeding in becoming a exorcist, Rin finally fulfilled the main condition that the Grigori put on him, so he's now officially "recognized" as a weapon of the Order and thus 100% an ally of it.. -- Since this will be the first official mission for the exorcists, Lightning (also cause he's the one in control of the sylph, thus he's the only one who can track its location) is assigned to the group as a "special guest support and supervisor". The role of leader is assigned to Miwa (for the strategic capabilities he showed during the exam, making him the "captain" of the group in place of Yukio). Mephisto declares that he had to work hard in order to persuade the Grigori into not being too harsh toward Yukio for his demeanor. After a long debate, the Grigori eventually accepted to show some "clemency", but on one condition. The Grigori specifically request for Rin, as Yukio's brother, to convince him to surrender to the "capture order" on his own will (the Grigori want to test Rin's loyalty to the Order).

If Yukio will cooperate, the Grigori will not "punish" him for his escape and simply take him into custody as initially planned. Also, being the leader of the mission, Miwa will be held responsible in case of any eventual suspect activity (the Grigori trust that the group will not take wild initiatives knowing that this will result in a punishment for their own friend). That being said, the mission begins. Shiemi wishes good luck to the team before they set for their journey. Tracking down the sylph, Lightning guides the group till they reach the middle of some giant forest infested of demons. (take into consideration that a few hrs went by) At some point, Lightning states that he's having some trouble tracking the "signal" of his sylph. So the group pauses for a while. During this time, they have some talk. Suguro watches Rin and can't help but notice how he's been awfully quiet and collected since Yukio's escape. Suguro remembers when Rin tried to "cheer him up" back when they discovered Shima was a spy. So he walks toward Rin and tries to comfort him (also to repay him for his help). At first, Rin doesn't open up but at some point , he snaps and screams out what it's really troubling him.

Of all things, he feels like he just hasn't done enough. He knew that Yukio was hiding something, but he never did enough to prove him that he could be considered someone to count on. When Yukio screamed to him to stay out of the way (back when the agents were arresting him) and seconds later "confirmed" that the Grigori's accuse was right, Rin, for the first time, felt like he couldn't recognize his own brother. Rin blames himself that things turned that way. He was so shocked he could do nothing but watch his brother been taken away. Meanwhile, Lightning heard it all from where he's standing. He's stricken by Rin's words and his genuine show of humanity (something which Lightning loves). Rin is so in the mood to share his feelings that he ends up mentioning that lil "argument" over the truth behind his and Yukio's birth that the bros had days before. At this point, Rin mentions that, even if he feels sorry for Yukio... he has a reason for not wanting to touch that matter. Lightning can't help but walk toward him and pry: "What do you mean...?"

Flashback time: back when he was a kid, after Yukio enquired for yet another time his and his brother's birth circumstances, Rin accidentally heard Shiro talk over the phone to someone. Shiro says something like "I want you to get rid of any information about it. Don't keep it hidden, simply destroy it. Yeah... He keeps asking about it. And we can't risk that one day HE finds out the truth. Yukio MUST NOT ever know!"

Rin didn't know what Shiro was really talking about, but the serious look over his face made him believe it was something quite terrible. So, through not feeding Yukio's curiosity, he was somehow trying to protect Yukio, in his own way. Lightning's eyes literally widen. Eventually, the sylph starts giving off his signal again. But at some point, the signal stops moving. The group reaches the area but... only the sylph is found there. Everyone assumes that Yukio got rid of it and run away. With no clues as to which way he may have run to, the group has no choice but to make its way back to the Academy.

Meanwhile, Shura, who was left in the Academy, paid a visit to the medical equipe which was running the daily tests on Yukio... She asks one of the doctors to do her a lil favor... and to keep it a secret.

Miwa and Lightning go to report to the Grigori. After they're done, Lightning departs from Miwa and uses a key to access a special room... and... Yukio's there! --- The special room is located in a place that Mephisto's power should not be able to reach (or possesses a special aura that keeps it from being "sensed" by him *insert what you prefer* I imagine something like a room the Vatican HQ used in a very far past, before Mephisto joined the Order. They used to use it in order to discuss special matters w/out the risk of being "heard" or "seen" by the Ba'al. Ok... *insert what you prefer*). As Lightning walks toward Yukio, we discover that Lightning "slipped" a copy of that key into one of Yukio's pockets back when he helped him run away from the agents. With something like a flashback, we're shown the moment Lightning told Yukio he got a plan to help him escape. He summoned the sylph and simply whispered Yukio to let it guide him. The sylph showed Yukio the way to a safe place with an abandoned building, he then used the key to enter that room. The sylph separated from him and hid itself in the forest, where Rin and co. found it.

Lightning and Yukio share a long talk. Lightning asks Yukio if it's true that he's developing some demonic power, as the Grigori states. Yukio answers that he's not sure. Lightning notices a weird look on Yukio's face. He then asks Yukio why he wants to investigate the Blue Night. Yukio is taken aback but this question. Lightning then asks if what Yukio is really interested in is uncovering the truth behind his and his brother birth. At first, Yukio doesn't say anything. Then, he states that he thinks it's only natural wanting to know something like that. Especially in his and Rin's case. At this point, Lightning looks into Yukio's eyes and asks him if he craves power. Yukio is in shock. Lightning keeps up his inquiry and asks him if he's actually envious of his brother (and HIS power). Still more shock for Yukio. He finally asks him: "Why are you so shocked? Maybe I asked the wrong question... Let me try again... Is it actually his DEMONIC side what you're envious of or... maybe it's his HUMAN side?". *dun dun dun* I expect Lightning to laugh loud and hard after this, just to break the tension of the moment. He finally tells Yukio that, unfortunetely, he can't allow Yukio to help him out with the Blue Night investigation. Yukio is like: "WHAT??" (obviously, Lightning wants to keep Yukio away from the truth because of what Rin said during their previous mission. All he knows, is that Shiro wanted Yukio to absolutely stay away of it. Lightning doesn't know why, but wants to find out on his own) For the time being, Lightning tells Yukio to stay hidden in the special room. Yukio tries to argue, but Lightning approaches the door and makes his leave. --- A couple days pass by, and Rin and friends got to take care of some minor tasks, like dispatch some low level demons. They're sometimes dispatched to check on the barriers. No big missions at all. One day Rin stops by the supply's shop for an order he's been sent to pick up and has a chat with Shiemi. There're no news about Yukio, but even if the rescue mission was a total failure, Mephisto somehow managed to get the Grigori to leave it on stand by. Lately the barriers had been quite unstable, so all the exorcists were requested to not leave the Academy and to be prepared to take care of any slip off. Shiemi believes that Yukio is allright and tries to confort Rin. After a while, Shiemi accompanies Rin to the exit of the shop. Amaimon is watching the scene from a distance. Lightning is wondering around the cram school corridors with a bag when he's approached by Suguro. The guy has no doubts that his "master" is keeping Yukio hidden somewhere and says it aloud. Lightning smiles and asks him to not make such accusations so lighly in the middle of the place where they were standing. Suguro peeks over his own shoulder to verify if anyone is watching em. Lightning asks him to relax and simply states that everything's under control. He adds that even their investigation about the Blue Night may be approaching his final stage very soon. He then resumes walking. Suguro asks him where is he going and Lightning answers that he got an appointment with a certain someone. As Lightning is walking past Suguro, he peeks at the bag for a sec and notices something (in particular, that there're 2 hamburgers, but we're not shown this). Lightning gave Suguro a hint on purpose.

Flashback right after Lightning has made his report to the Grigori with Miwa and before he goes to see Yukio in the room where he's keeping him hidden: while he's walking out of HQ, Lightning takes his leave from Miwa and is approached by Shura who tells him he got something to talk to him about. They walk into a special room, which Shura opens with one of her keys. She then throws a few papers over a table placed in front of her. The papers are copies of Yukio's tests proving that nothing's wrong with the results and he's 100% still human. Shura throws over the same table a copy of the test proving that Yukio got something off in the map of his genes (the copy which the Grigori agents were talking about when they accused him).

To be sure, after Yukio ran away when the agents tried to arrest him, Shura walked back to the dorms in search of some samples she could use in order to run a new test. She handed the samples to a couple medical equipe doctors of her trust (from two different branches than the Japan's) and got from both of em the same results. Yukio got nothing demonic in his body. But... as Lightning is watching the papers... something on the copy testifying that Yukio got some demonic genes catches his attention. Right beneath Yukio's generalities is written: 005. *dun dun dun* Lightning checks the same data on all the other copies provided from Shura. But... that single data is not present in neither of em. Those particular numbers remind him of something... and a flashback plays in his mind. While Shura is still talking, she catches a glimpse of the mutated expression over Lightning's face. Before she can ask him something, Lightning asks her if she can do him a favor. Flashback's over. Lightning reaches a door and opens it. Yukio is sitting on the floor, bracing his own legs, apparentely sleeping. Lightning walks toward him and puts the bag right beside him, picking something up from it. The sound of the plastic bag awakens Yukio. Lightning flashes him a smile and sits right in front of him, across of him. Yukio says nothing. Lightning unfolds the hamburger he retrieved from the bag and starts eating it. The room is hot (it's a special room w/out any windows or air vent valves). Yukio stares at the bag and notices that there's an other hamburger in it, which Lightning brought for him, alongside some change of clothes (which he states had Suguro wash, so they were clean). Lightning asks Yukio if he got a chance during the last days to cool off his mind (then he laughs at his own words. Afterall, that room was WAY too hot to help cool anything). Yukio says nothing. After a while, he starts talking.

Yukio recalls the time when Rin acknowledged himself as the son of Satan (after the fight with the Impure King). That was the moment a painful realization played in his mind: no matter all he ever accomplished throughout his life, in the end Yukio didn't know who he was. No matter what, he was still unable to define his own identity. Lightning listens to his words, and after a while states that, for starters, that's one thing he can say he is for sure: a human. Yukio's expression slightly changes. Lightning adds that the answer to what he was looking for is right beneath his eyes, he just can't see it.

Lightning tells Yukio that he's lived his whole life trapped in the middle of his human and "demonic" side. So he thinks that Yukio can take his next advice for good. Finding one's own identity is about looking at something from more than a single point of view. And if one is unable to do it on its own, then it takes someone who helps you enlarge your vision. Lightning is sure that even Rin was helped by someone to reach his realization (in fact, thinking about Shiemi and the others helped him). Lightning says that even him was helped to pick which side to fight for from someone. His grandfather. At this point, Lightning starts asking Yukio about Shiro and if he trusted him. In the end, Lightning asks Yukio if he would be willing to give up finding out about his past in order to find out who he really is. --- An other day at the cram school. Rin is walking along a corridor when he's approached by Lightning. Lightning tells him that he was just looking for him. The Grigori assigned Lightning the task to fill a record about Yukio so Lightning thought that Rin, being his brother, could help him gather some data. Rin freezes in place. Lightning tries to break his tension stating that he just needs to ask him some minor questions. They reach a cafeteria. Rin asks how the investigation is going (Lightning has been assigned exclusively to the case after the rescue mission) but Lightning keeps it vague. Rin is visibly worried. Lightning starts asking him about the data he needed in order to fill the last of the record.

The questions range from Yukio's shoe size, his diopters, his favorite color, his favorite manga genre, his fav pastimes, his type of girl... (Rin can't help but wonder how these infos can help with the investigation at all)... and in the end... his favorite food. At this, Rin answers that Yukio's fav food is sashimi. Lightning's lil grin turns into a big smile and he states that he'd like to have some of that. He adds that he heard from Suguro that Rin is a good cook, so he'd like Rin to personally cook him some sashimi. And since he's feeling particularly hungry, he'd like to have TWO rations of it. At this, Rin takes a better look at Lightning's expression and doesn't fail to notice the lil grin the man flashes him. Rin instantily realizes what Lightning is indirectly trying to tell him... Finally feeling reassured after having been worried about Yukio's whereabouts for the last days, Rin smiles himself and offers Lightning to cook him some sashimi back in the dorms.

That same evening, Lightning reaches the secret room where Yukio is hiding. As he enters it, he states that he got somthing delicious for him to eat. Yukio is looking a whole lot better now, also wearing the change of clothes that Lightning brought him. Before handing him the bag he's carrying, Lightning asks him if he's still sure about the plan they're putting up. Yukio straight answers that he's ready to set it into motion, his eyes full of confidence. At this, Lightning puts the bag next to Yukio. He states that he thought Yukio might have grown tired of those hamburgers, so he got him something more of his taste. Yukio opens the bag to catch the sight of a familiar bento box...

#blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #yukio okumura #rin okumura #blue exorcist theories #ao no exorcist theories #my theories

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lalorrunningclub · 6 years

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Melbourne Marathon Recap by Jackki & Bill Papadimitriou

Bill: I come from a land down under, so I started my day off with a Vegemite sandwich.

We had a 7am race start, but we wanted to arrive early to secure a parking spot, and relax a little beforehand. We picked up Ashish where he was eagerly awaiting our arrival, and off we went on our wonderful adventure.

At the MCG we located Milissa, Julie Dib, Shona, Sharn and Paula Colarusso for our group photo. Everyone was quite excited. The morning was mild, but the weather forecast was predicting quite a warm and windy day ahead.

Jackki: Before this point, we were directed to all sorts of areas to drop off our bags (talk about stress!) and when we finally figured it out, we somehow lost Vincent and Brian but picked up Andy Hewison lol.

Bill: After our group photo, I thought I’d duck out for one last pitstop before the big race. As expected, the toilet queues were chockers, so I figured I’d be smart about it and find another lavatory. That was a big mistake, as it seemed everyone had the same in mind. I almost felt like I would miss the starting gun, the lines were huge!! After my pre-race routine, I bumped into Vincent and we walked to our starting line.

BANG AND WE’RE OFF!! The first couple of kilometres were very packed, with people everywhere trying to cut in front of each other, so I ventured off to the side and continued along. My aim was to run a good race, but the atmosphere got the better of me. I warmed up my legs with a steady 6 min pace for the first km, mainly due to the crowd, but then quickened my pace as I was feeling pretty good.

Jackki: haha yes as we were walking toward the start line, I realised I don’t see any of the LRC team with me! Like what, where’d they go? Not even the husband. And before I know it, my legs danced as the gun went off. I’m cruising towards Flinders Station when suddenly The Flash was next to me. I asked “shouldn’t you be finished by now?” to which he replied he needs to warm up first, and off he went. Show off.

The first half of the marathon went by so quickly because I was feeling really good, travelling along comfortably at 6:10-6:20min pace, stopping by at every drink station because I’m a good girl :D

Bill: Heading into Albert Park I spotted a lady wearing nothing but a bra. Now I must’ve been very out of it, but this lady also appeared to have a beard, and to top it off, she knew my name!! I know we were approaching St Kilda, but we still had a while to go yet. Thank God, it was only Matty Liggitt!!! Running with a bra for a cause, or at least that’s what he tells us.

Jackki: At around 14km, along Fitzroy St, I saw the first leading man on his last 10-11km back to the MCG, ALREADY?! WOW AMAZING! After a few more kilometres, I spotted Ciaran, Bill and Vincent and we gave each other’s hi-fives. And not far behind them were Shona and Paula looking mighty strong and fresh. I even saw some dude in a pink bra, followed by Andy and his mate.

It’s getting really sunny now along Beaconsfield Parade, there’s a gentle breeze and I’m reminiscing my first half marathon at Carmen’s last year. First 20km down and I’m thinking to myself, ‘this is nice, I might even finish 30mins earlier than goal time (of 5hrs)’. Yeah, why did I even entertain that idea because my lower back, glutes, calf and foot decided to give me grief throughout the next half marathon. I was fighting so hard not to cry.. and seriously as I struggled, the weather got warmer and more dusty and windy… story of my life.

Bill: I spotted Ciaran twice on both ends of Beach Road and gave him a wave. So much for going slow Ciaran!?!? He appeared in good form and was at around the 3:30hour pacer from memory. Well, Beach Road heading toward Elwood was where it started to go downhill for me. There was certainly something in the air which seemed to cause a persistent cough. I couldn't shake it off. The coughing continued through the tan, and down St Kilda Road. By that stage, my thighs were beginning to cramp a little. I tried stretching them but at that point my hamstrings also twinged. I decided to have a short stop for some well needed stretches and then continued walking. My aim for a 4hr marathon was slowly ticking away, but I still continued walking.

Another runner from behind shouted out: “KEEP RUNNING JON'S DAD!” This caused me to have a little guilt trip, and I remembered both my little ones and wanted them to be proud of their Dad. I continued along with the aim of running a couple of light poles followed by some brief walking.

Down St Kilda Road, at around the 32km marker, I saw Judith who offered me a number of supplies. All I had to do was pick from the plethora of items she had, but to my stupidity I graciously decline her offer... What a stupid move on my behalf (Just take the damn stash Bill, you really need it!).

Jackki: Judith was a Godsend at this point for me; her words of encouragement and jelly beans gave me the energy I needed to push on. I was feeling so alone as I struggled with various body issues and pain. I still haven’t found a toilet at this point and seriously wanted Judith to take me home but her embrace boosted me further. And when I finally found a portaloo, and waited forever (around 34km) along St Kilda Road, THERE WAS NO PAPER IN ANY OF THE 4 LOO’S!!!!! The rest of the run home was just painful and uncomfortable and I was forced to walk more than run.

Bill: A little further down the same stretch on St Kilda Road I heard Shona and Paula coming up from behind. Not saying they're loud or anything, but Paula seemed to have a full tank of energy in her. Great going Paula, I was envious of you at that point. They both asked how I was travelling and I told them both about my leg issues. I figured if I could just try and keep up with them then maybe I could just "keep on running". The pain was there but so was my motivation to continue. That was until I heard Paula saying to Shona, "Picture Bradley Cooper at the finish line"…at which point I thought WHY THE FK AM I RUNNING TOWARD HIM?? My pace slowed down once again to a walk/jog.

Approaching Brunton Ave, I was exhausted beyond belief. The temperature was really starting to increase, and it seemed no amount of water would do the trick at cooling me down. Coming down the final stretch of road, I heard loud cheers and looked to my left. They were all absolutely amazing!! The LRC crew were all cheering for me and giving me strength. I held back the tears, put on my brave face, and quickened my pace once again. Thank you, guys.

In the MCG I ran, the view was magnificent, the atmosphere was grand. With the finish line in sight, I was determined not to stop on the hallowed turf. I must keep running, the end was so close. With only 50 metres to the line, the other runners started to speed up around me which in turn encouraged me to do the same. I felt like I sprinted across that finish line (but looking at the video replay, I was only jogging). WOOHOO, I did it!! My time was 4:38 hours, which was slower than the time I was aiming for, but considering the conditions presented to me on the day, I was happy with the outcome. Ashish was there to take a photo of me at the finish line, and gave him a big high five. I continued down to the gallows and saw Rose, Neville and Vincent cheering me from above. It was a special day, filled with so much comradery, and it will never be forgotten. MY FIRST FULL MARATHON!!

Now where was Jackki? I walked back up to where Rose and the others were and awaited the arrival of my lovely lady.

Jackki: After going through The Tan, Judith jumped in front of me again and sprinkled more energy for my last 2km, or so I thought. My Garmin was telling me that I have 1.2km left and 8 mins before the 5hrs mark. Determined, I sprinted, running faster and harder than the last 2hrs. I’m pushing and pushing against the pain, ‘come on you got this!’ (seriously it’s like giving birth) and la la laa I made it JUST under 5hrs! BUT I’M NOWHERE NEAR THE MCG?!!!?!?!?!?!?!? *insert crazy screaming lady* My mind is fked, I’m fighting back tears and when I felt like I had nothing left in the tank, the most amazing thing happened: Stef! You legend! Running beside me on Brunton Ave. I heard the LRC crew screaming my name and I mustered some energy to do a chicken dance for them, well half of it anyway lol

THANK YOU GUYS FOR BRINGING ME BACK TO LIFE!

My finished distance was 43.3km at 5:08hrs. As I crossed that finish line, I was thinking, 'Where is that husband o’mine? Why isn’t he waiting right there for me? Prick!...' Oh there he is, up in the stadium with the team cheering for me *big grin*.

So, will we do it again?

Hell no. But who are we kidding? We’ve got a score to settle after all Melbourne Marathon!

#lrc #lalorrunningclub

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dirtyfantasyleague · 6 years

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Week 2 Roundup!

Thaaaaaaaats right you fuckin ballbags.

Stephen is here and ready to fantasy football it up. Mr. Verga of the week is none other than Das Reich. Our defending champ sent the projection center at NFLHQ a bag of shit and a picture of his record. Vigil put up 142.80 against (now) bottom-ranked Hector. Wopppp woppppp. Ghost of Romo took care of business by keeping Zeke-a Virus out of the win column. If I’m being 100% real, Oz very well could have listened this week and saw that even the coaching staff suggested that Gabbert was getting playtime. If I’m being 200% real, my win felt all that much better because I KNEW it and I didn’t tell him shit #DevilEmoji. Macho Man Tony Savage, whipped out big dick and enjoyed playing Mr Comes Verga Lexi. Hope you minded the balls too, Alexis!

In other news, ShhhhhHesSleepin continues to roll over the league, handling dirty dan. He will play Kelvin this week in the league’s only “family feud” game. That’s my game of the week. Hopkons this dick may just be the one to challenge big poppa. He whooped on Benjo, dropping 137, proving that he is the superior Texans fan, and will now whoop on Mr Comes Verga next week. That’s my lock.

One sec, let me make my thank you letters

Thank you, Nathan. For spending 42 waiver points on your team in the first week. WAB is digital gold, and I don't give money to charity.

Thank you, Antonio Brown. I need someone to campaign to bring Leveon back, and I think you’re on my side.

Thank you, Jimmy Fallon, stealing bits is so much easier than creating them when you’re tryna dump out a story in 30 mins.

Thank you, Ben Roethlisberger. I love when bench players score 40 burgers. Shame is a great motivator, Alexis Saldaña.

Below are my picks

Ghost of Romo > Thirty cha

Macho Man Tony > Zeke-a Virus

Dirty Dan (WENTZ IS BACK BABY) > Das Reich

Hopkons this Dick > Slexie

Hold My Beer < ShhhhHesSleepin

Benjo > GB12

If you have any problems with it suck a fk and remember:

Pay those league fees when you see me in the street!

aye them jag bois put the whoopin on the pats lol

0 notes

sizzlingcrusadebouquetfan-blog · 6 years

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gmc health insurance

"gmc health insurance

gmc health insurance

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Insurance with a permit?

so i have my permit, and i can now start driving on the road, so i was wondering if i need insurance for me. the car i'm gonna be driving is already insured, so do i need insurance for myself.""

Motorcycle insurance is so expensive?

Basically I'll be doing my cbt test this Wednesday so I can ride my 125cc supermoto which I use for dirt biking. Checked insurance on my Yamaha WR125X and it's 1400 for comprehensive, da fk is this? After seeing that I was physically sick. So I thought I'll just check on the most cheapest moped and it's 700 which is still expensive.. How the fk do these kids I see with mini coopers afford insurance and all I wAnt is to ride a small 2 wheel sht face. I'm 18, 19 this march, work full time. Can I find it any cheaper anywhere? Should I go for third party insurance? I just hate my life""

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Getting a new car today but still have the old one. I'm waiting for it to be collected by a car scrap collection company which could be up a few days. I want to swap my insurance from my old car to my new. My old car would still be taxed and mot but then will have no insurance. Is that legal? Just to keep it parked up for a few days without insurance?

What is the cheapest auto insurance company for young drivers?

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I have a $1000 deductible, but want to file a claim to get my car fixed from an incident a while ago (like years ago) because I want to sell it for tuition money. No other vehicles, ...show more""

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How much would insurance cost for a yamaha r6?

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Divorce and custody questions in California?

My soon to be ex husband and I have a 3 month old son. I know we can work out the custody agreement but if either of us get married again, can the step parent adopt the child as their own even though both biological parents have custody? Also if not, is there a way to give the step parents rights to the child like authorizing medical care, to be on the step parents insurance, ect...""

I am 16 almost 17 and am looking for a car and am wondering what the insurance rats would be on a porsche 944

this would be my second car and its a really nice 1985 Porsche 944 (non-turbo) it has only 67K miles on it and is in excellent shape I am just wondering if my insurance would go up i pay about 130 $ a month on a Pontiac grand am ... would it go up? if so do you know how much?

Cheap home insurance?

Where can i obtain cheap home insurance?

AAA insurance question.?

I signed up for insurance for a home when I bought it 7 years ago. I told them I wanted full replacement which is what you have to have in order to get a mortgage. 7 years ago when I went down there to sign papers I specifically told him that I wanted to make sure everything was at full replacement value and my husband wanted to make sure the roof had full replacement value. I told the insurance guy that he is a roofer so that was a main thing he wanted me to make sure we had. The insurance guy laughed and made a little joke about it. So now, 7 years later we had hail damage and guess what.. my house does have full replacement value and all our property inside has full replacement value everything but the roof. Hmmm..imagine that. So I am sure I signed papers without reading the contract, I just took his word for it. Is there anything I can do? I am going to report this to the local new station. The insurance guy out right lied to me. This is in oklahoma. Is there a district office in oklahoma? I googled it and couldn't find anything. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.""

""Can you explain car insurance system in the UK, how it works?""

It is illegal to drive without a valid car insurance. I am unable to get a single quote for car insurance, what am I doing wrong or where is the catch? I am a new driver, have a provisional driving licence for a month. The car I want to buy is a large Mercedes S class (5-litre engine) that cost ca. 15K (I have my reasons). Why they would not insure me if I only want the THIRD PARTY LIABILITY cover (the minimum required by law)? The insurance company does not risk paying for my luxury car as third party cover does not cover the car, is that correct? My circumstances that I put in online forms: I am 26, UK resident for 3 years. The car would be bought and registered (and probably insured) under my mum's name, she is an EU national, has EEC (non-UK) driving licence for 20 years and is resident in the UK for 3 months only. I would need to add myself as a second driver... No company would give me an insurance quotation, do you know why? When I change driving licence in forms from provisional to full UK the result is the same (also no quotes at all). But when I change the car to e.g. a small Focus or similar, no problem, cheap insurance available and dozens of quotations are appearing. Are new drivers not allowed to drive luxury cars? HELP!""

Temporary car insurance?

I am moving across oregon when i turn 18 and I currently have a car but I need to get tags and insurance to move it. Could I get temporary insurance which is good for a week? If yes, about how much would that be? Do I need insurance to get my car registered and get tags?""

""Im an 18 year old male and im about to get my drivers license for the first ime ,how much is my insurance ?

about how much is my insurance looking to cost me ???

How exactly do you get health/car insurance?

I'm 18 and I moved out to live with my gparents and will be moving out again on my own soon and I don't have any idea how to get health insurance and car insurance.

Buying a used Honda Civic 1996? First Car? Insurance?

Hi guys. I'm a College Freshman, and I got my California Driver's License last winter break. I am thinking about buying a used Honda Civic 1996. I know the only way I can find out how much insurance would cost me every month would be by me getting a quote. But on a rough estimate, how much would I be paying at age 19 for a Honda Civic 1996, on my own plan. Not on a family plan or anything. Also, plus gas and everything, how much roughly would I be paying every month? Best detailed answer gets 10 points. Thanks!!!""

Average auto insurance for 25yo gemale no previous accidents?

Looking to move to LA with a 2011 Jeep Liberty. I know you cant give me exact numbers but just trying to get a feel. Also what os the best and what is the cheapest insurance company that services the area? Thanks!

""If my car was stolen, does the insurance pay me or the lienholder the settlement check?

It has been a month since my car was stolen and it hasnt turned back up. So the next step is the settlement. How does it work if i owe the lienholder 3000 dollars?? Does the insurance pay the lienholder and i get the difference or do they just pay me? And does the interest rate get deducted from the $3000????

Can I pay my car insurance monthly through parents?

I am 17 just learnt to drive and I have my own car and will be able to afford my car insurance IF i pay it monthly, I know they do not let under 18's pay it monthly, so can I say ...show more""

Negotiating a car insurance claim?

Long story short, consensus feel that my car (hit by an uninsured Crown Victoria) is going to be considered a total loss tomorrow when the adjuster checks it out. My main concern is, if I feel I am offered an unfair amount for my car, what would be a good way to negotiate with them? And what do they use to base their offer on? I've already checked Autotrader and other sites for a replacement for my car, and this model is very sparse (5 total within 500 miles, only searching by year and model/trim), only being sold by dealerships that want a LOT more than I paid for the car a year ago. Can I cite those examples, or do I have to use something like KBB or NADA appraisals? I've never had to make a claim with an insurance company before, and the only thing I know is the reputation of insurance companies.""

Car crash and insurance?

i had a crash today, it was not my fault (was told by the police), i had my insurance, but the other party does not, i was told i have to pay for my car full coverage because the other party does not have insurance. Is that true? please help me, thank you!""

""50cc bike insurance, need help!?

Well i need to get a bike to get around more.. and its like a 2000 reg bike that i found which is in pretty good condition.. and i've got my provisional etc.. and my CBT but the insurance still comes out as 560!? is there anyway of getting it lower?!

Why refused car insurance because of one criminal offence?

Can someone explain why this is happening, and since when? How does this affect your driving? I have one assault offence and have been refused car insurance, what nonsense is this country coming to?""

Can I remove 17 yr old off my insurance policy if not driving my car at all?

Long story short (hopefully)...My 17 yr old step-son got his license just after his b-day last yr and my husband stupidly bought him an undeserved car (we have had nonstop issues with him for over 2 yrs with his disrespectful and insulting/criticizing attitude, refusing to follow house rules, his very poor, negative and selfish behavior on top of his constant lies and his drug and alcohol use and continues to bring it around my 4 yr old son). Needless to say after receiving 4 tickets under 6 months for either having too many kids in car or driving past allowed hours to be driving because he refuses to follow our rules or the law and feel they do not apply to him. He completely trashed the car, it reeked of cigarettes and pot, we found empty beer cans and other cans used to smoke his pot. We took the car away and cleaned it the best we could and after a few months of him still continuing his behavior and habits we sold the car. He bullies his mom and sister (always has) and took his moms keys and her car from her and will not return it. I know we are legally responsible for him until he turns 18 which isn't too much longer BUT he is getting worse with everything, my husband has given up on him and just lets him come and go as he pleases and do what he wants (he claims he will kick him out on his bday but no one believes him b/c of many past threats not followed through and his kids know it so they continue to play him), I'm told to stay out of it because he isn't my son yet he is still on MY insurance and driving his mom's car while drinking and smoking pot and continuing not to follow the law with his restrictions either. I can't wait for this ungrateful punk to be out of my house. He constantly badmouths all of us with lies to everyone and blames us when things don't go his way. He has always been extremely lazy and does not want to work, he keeps forcing his mom to give him money which she does b/c she claims she is afraid of him, he has NEVER helped with anything around the house, he has already been in trouble a few times with the police as young as 12 when he wouldn't follow skateboarding rules. This kid needs a major attitude adjustment and a kick in the *** but no one will do it and I'm not allowed to say anything to him about anything but I'm so sick and tired of having to keep my mouth shut and watch everything he says and does to his family yet I am to provide insurance for this a@%hole. He's not supposed to be driving anyone's car but he took his mom's and won't give it back to her, he lives with us even though he is NEVER here (DYFS took the kids away from their mom about 4 yrs ago and placed them with us immediately) (oh, the issues have been going on a lot longer than these 4 yrs but not to this degree). By the time we file and the court allowed for emancipation he will be 18 so that is no use. He HAS to live with us until then but I don't want my insurance going up anymore than it has and want him off of it. He refuses to hand over his license too. I am at my wits end with this kid and don't know what else to do. Does anyone have any ideas on any loopholes on how to get him off my insurance? If we force him to stay here he gets violent toward everyone, constantly picks fights with all of us, storms around the house cursing and complaining, slamming everything, purposely makes messes and leaves it until he gets his way and I definitely do not want that behavior around my son. My husband has told him he is no longer a part of our family and it doesn't faze him at all and he just does not care about anyone but himself. Please no criticizing me. I have been his step-mom for almost 10 yrs now and have never been allowed to discipline my husband's kids at all and always told to not get involved in anything b/c they are not my kids yet they both walk all over their dad (and their mom), are spoiled rotten, no responsibilities or chores at all and never any consequences when they do something wrong. For those of you who actually read all of this thank you. Yes, I am venting but really need it and this still is not the whole story but it's too much to go into.""

What are some cheap car insurance for first time drivers?

I need health insurance for my daughter?

I am a 70 % disabled military veteran looking for affordable health insurance for my daughter. Any suggestions?

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Dui and car insurance?

My record got explunged now that I am 18 in the state of California. Will my car insurance take me back?

How much will insurance cost for a 2009 kawasaki 250 ninja for a 16 year old?

i would just like to get an idea....i live in northern Ontario

How i can get cheap auto insurance for my son?

Does the new Health care law say any thing about Dental and Vision insurance?

Does the new Health care law say any thing about Dental and Vision insurance? What does it say about those things Dental and vision? Is it going to make them cheaper and require them to cover more, like almost 100% of the bill for those services? When will this take affect? Will it require us to have them to? Will it give us more affordable options for Dental and Vision plans? What are they going to call affordable on those? I need a plan that will cover 100% of my Dental and Optical visits.""

""I live in California, my 7 y/o daughter does not have health insurance, healthy families...?""

is not accepting applications anymore. we are a low income family and qualify for low cost medical, that does not cover doctor visits or prescriptions, where to apply for health insurance.""

Insurance on a 2007-2009 Honda Civic SI coupe?

I am 18 years old and I have had my license for just over a year with a clean record (no tickets, crash, etc.), I was wondering how much full coverage insurance would be on 2007-2009 Honda Civic Si coupe, the insurance will be under my father as primary and me as either secondary or occasional, my father has a clean 15 year driving record. How much will insurance be monthly?""

Where can i get the cheapest insurance for saxo vtr?

ive just passed my test and i already had the car well before i started lessons. ime 26 with 2 kids under 16. ive been getting stupid quotes for 5000. i know its a boy racers car but it doesnt meen ime going to be doing handbrakes and racing in it. just using it to get to work and take my kids out. i got the car for 600 2000 model and really want this car cant be doing with a 1.0 L or anything under a 1.6 can anyone give me a insurance company that will give me a decent quote. thankssss

Where can i get the cheapest car insurance?

i live in virginia

Cheap car to insure-young driver?

I'm 17 going on 18 and was looking at cheap cars to maintain and insure. I was really interested in the mini cooper s and new vauxhall corsa. Any opinions or suggestions? Thanks in advance

Does having a Husky effect my insurance?

I live on the same property as my parents so they have the same house insurance. Well they are telling me that if i get a Husky they will loose there insurance. I have never heard of such a think. I have heard of it going up but not losing it. I just really want this dog, but I dont know if they will approve. I just dont think they approve of having another dog on there land. What do you think?""

Will Vandalism affect my Car Insurance rates?

My car was vandalized last night, they ripped off a piece on the back and cracked the bumper in the front. If I make a claim with my insurance company will this affect my rates?""

How can you keep your car insurance rates as low as possible?

How much is insurance for a haunted house?

We want to do a house slash forest

Here are my plans when i turn 16 can i do it?

ok to make it real short i am going to turn 16 here in about 2 months here and there is this car ive wanted ever since i came out of my moms woumb lol. Literally this car is my all time dream car. They are not the most ammount of money in the world they are about 10-15k and i was wondering if id be able to pay payments each month when i have a job if i cant would i be able to give my mom/dad the money and they pay the insurence and payments. And also my dad i going to give me around 4k to put on a down payment. Please give me ways i can do it cuz i literally need this car its a dream of mine

Car insurance?

What is THE cheapest car for a newly qualified driver to get insured? I have looked at things like corsa's but they are really expensive to ensure, 5/6 times the value of the car, im female by the way if that matters. I expect to pay alot but i would rather get a better car which is more expensive and cheaper insurance than a crap car with high insurance? Any ideas?""

Insurance coverage after my car was totaled?

In 2005 I was in an accident, not my fault. My 1997car was totaled, due to a small area of body damage. I kept the car. Comparing notes with my friend, he said I should not have been paying for collision these past 4 years. When I called to tell my insurance company I bought a new car, I asked why my rates didn't go down after the accident. They said only I could have made a change. Question: what would have happened had I been in another accident that would have totaled my car a second time. Would they deny me. Are they obliged to counsel customers about keeping collision insurance on an already totaled car. Do I have any recourse. Could I get a refund. (My question mark key is gone on my keyboard.)""

How much do you pay for health insurance?

How are you covered? Through your employer, self-employed, Medicare or Medicaid?""

What do I get as a USAA member without any accounts?

You can get a USAA membership with an online registration; however, I do not need to have any banking accounts, insurance, etc with USAA. What do I get with this membership and does it affect my credit score? What are the pros and cons of becoming a USAA member when I don't have any accounts open with them?""

Health insurance question?

Is there any way I can get health insurance? I have no money and no job. I recently had to quit my recent job due to moving. I'm 19 years old and have a disc herniation that I'm trying to get checked out. Parents don't have money and will not take me not their fault, healthcare as I know is expensive. Ill have a job by the end of November is there anyway I could somehow get insurance through a loan or something similar? Probably a dumb question but it don't hurt to ask.""

What is the Cheapest Insurance?

Hi. My dad has been having AAA as his insurance for $82, compared to our other family members insurance, that is pretty over priced. Isn't the insurance price supposed to go down if you didn't violate anything over the year? And also, i am 16, and have my license, i basically have my dad's old car so he needs to get me into his insurance. What is the best insurance for me and him together? I know Im a minor and the insurance is going to go up but what is the cheapest insurance or best insurance for both of us? My dad wants to switch if ever we find a good deal?""

""How much is average insurance for a motorcycle, preferably in Texas.?

I am female and over 25 yrs. of age.

Is Nissan 240sx expensive to insure?

Is 89-93 240sx (S13) expensive to insure? I am 16. I would put this car under my mom's insurance. She never had an accident, ticket, etc. Also I never took drugs or any stuff like that, never been pulled over or something if it matters insuring a car.""

What is the cheapest car insurance?

I'm 17 and i'm after buying a car. I have my full licence but every time i look for insurance its 8,000. Whats the best Car to buy, with cheap insurance and who with. Thanks""

""Need help to find a boy car for around 1000 or below, something cheap on insurance and also a bit sporty?

i know sporty and insurance dont go together well but am sure there are some cars that are fast and boy racer cars that arnt tooo expensive to insure

I dont understand how kids can afford a car and insurance?

for me it will take about a year to save up for a decent car, but the insurance is like 5000 a year, how could someone afford that, is there something im missing? and is it only like this where i live (ontario)?""

gmc health insurance

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/kaiser-medical-insurance-quote-jayden-peterson/"

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defunctblogtobedeleted · 7 years

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5/7/17, 1:53am - and now taking time from my busy day to bring you the Tyler Blog

wow, it’s been a hot minute.

Whelp there’s a lot to write about and not a lot of memory in my life, so I’m just gonna give it a whirl and see how it goes.

First off, today I came one step closer to finally finding out where Sonic accurately ranks on my fast food tier list. I’ve eaten at sonic like maybe three times in my life tops, and two of them were today and last week. Last week got a burger and fries, today I got a chicken sandwich and onion rings. Now, I must say that to accurately rank Sonic I have yet to try their hot dogs, maybe even a fourth entree or something, but I can say with full confidence that Sonic is D tier fast food, C tier at best. Holy shit, man. Everything tastes like it’s been on the grill a little too long, gets that kinda burnt taste onto it. Which is charming in Cookout because it’s coupled with actually flavorful food and like higher quality burger patties and fluffy buns, but here it just kinda falls flat. Something about the bun, man. I love how they actually put some effort into putting it onto the grill, but the potato-bread consistency is gross and mushy and makes everything in the sandwich feel like mush to me. I think the real issue is the condiments might be too big relative to the meat? Or maybe it’s just bad. Eating this chicken sandwich today all I could think was “this is the wendy’s chicken sandwich if it were hungover as fuck.” Fries were alright, they’re like the dream fries you hope for during lunch in high school. The onion rings are Actually delicious, super sweet and crispy, pair well with the honey mustard, but almost too sweet to eat a whole bag of. I’m sure the tots are solid and I just feel spoiled by costco hot dogs how is shit so expensive everywhere else.

Alright I’m done with that shit lmao. So like...shit where do I even start? the past? The present? I was talking to jimmy about conceptualizing the dimensions and that neat little youtube video, and said something stupid like the past and future is all a constant, nothing matters. We were talking about the big bang and recursive progression into the destruction of the world until it collapsed and started over again. Who knows, man. Maybe nothingness is cool.

Anyway let’s do a little personal assessment. I was doing excellent on my diet until like the last time I posted, then starting to live in gboro and wanting to try out places to eat there transitioned into going to visit the fam in VA to see my little brother’s performance and Darlin fed me way too much while I was there so I’m like off the wagon sort of lol. I was up to like 146 the other day, 143 when I checked like yesterday lemme run and weigh myself rq. Ate a bunch of pizza at work yesterday and fast food today, but I’m only at 145.0 in my work clothes. So that means I’m at like 143 with food weight, which means if I really really want to push it I could get back into a fast and trim off a a pound or two before lake week in 11 days. Sounds like a whole lotta effort and I’m not really feeling that much these days though. Looking super great, that’s what’s really important lol. Idk I kinda like fasting or at least dieting a little bit before I go somewhere I know I’m gonna be taking pics like mom’s or this because I always feel like I stuff myself and then I’ll take pictures like the one of me at thanksgiving that I’m embarassed by because of my tummy.

Whatever whatever, I’m looking great though, the point is I’m not really concerned as much anymore. Possibly a reflection of the change of scenery, maybe because I hit my goal and am satisfied, maybe it’s because I’m hopping on tinder again and a solid handful of girls are blowing me up, who knows. But that’s that.

Other part of the status update, yesterday... well. day before yesterday? Yeah I guess. Cinco de mayo was my randomly self declared last pack of cigarettes. See what had happened was I realized I wasn’t all that stressed out anymore about the moving thing now that things have been going so well, and my boss calls me in to stay late after work and have a meeting with him. He says I fucked up and didn’t respond to my patient quickly enough and was smelling like smoke and said that I could get fired and yadda yadda yadda irresponsible and shit. So i’m like yeah fine sure that makes sense, I don’t want people to die while I’m out taking a smoke break. I’m past the days of calling semi-reasonable-but-hypocritical shit bullshit to my boss’s face so I ate that shit up with a smile and decided that if I couldn’t smoke at my new job [still same old job, still just new location] then fuckit it’s not worth my time. I don’t need to be craving for it since i can’t do it. So I went to the store immediately afterward and meant to buy what I decided was going to be my last pack of cigarettes. The clerk wasn’t there for like 5 minutes me and some guy were laughing about him being asleep on the toilet or some shit, so I decided to just say fuckit and I swiped the pack instead of just deciding I didn’t need it lmao. Wrote a nice little greentext story to one of my group chats about how cigarettes make you a bad person but I’m not gonna copy it over too lazy. Anyway, I was straight chugging cigs with people that day. Had to balance my high out lmao I was smoking all day with spencer and davis, played some ssx tricky [sucked balls. still hate ps2], did really meh at the tournament but had fun playing dubz with spencer. Kinda sad I didn’t hard carry him so that he wouldn’t hate dubz anymore but whatever. Had a nice little crew come over after and got to hang out with christian and michael for the first time in a long time. Might not see christian again now that he’s graduated. that shit’s so weird. Railed him in dubz with dylan for a long time too hahaha fuck that might be the last time I do that, too. Team This House went undefeated for like 30 games that night, we kicked some ass. Even if it’s not true I believe it now hahaha.

But yeah, so that’s the biggest status update of all. I was talking to Darlin and Mom about my living situation with Ashleigh and how great it was and they were asking me about my plans to move out. I was like damn, I hadn’t even thought about it. So I told them I wanted to try to be out by the end of the month and we’re gonna try to roll with that. Gonna see if they find a roommate and when they do I’m gonna get a storage unit, get my shit out of there and stop paying rent. Which is neat, I can throw that money to Ashleigh or my car or something. Pretty pumped to be a little more liquid tbh.

I crashed in Ash’s bed this morning because she was laying on the couch when I got in, and I just laid there thinking “yknow it’s kind of strange that I’ve always felt more at home in someone else’s bed than my own.” I wonder if it’s completely true, even. My old high school bed was my mom’s, and even then I was always trying to have tons of people over to cuddle up with. Maybe That’s it, is when I’m alone in my own bed there’s no chance someone will get in with me on their own. I Was kinda hoping that ashleigh would want to jump into her bed with me too and we could just lay around together hahaha. Platonically, of course. I swear. I swear I swear. Not to you, random reader, but to myself. hahaha it’s super neat having a girl that’s just a friend, I feel like I haven’t had one of those in an eternity. Well I mean Irene I guess, but we’ve also never hung out alone. and there are plenty of friend’s gfs but that definitely doesn’t count.

Anyway so I’ll just transition out of that bit into describing life in greensboro I guess. I’ve only spent like two weeks here, Aaron called it a little staycation lol. The commute’s only like 24 mins, which is way better than the hour to or from raleigh. Ashleigh has a nice little one bedroom living room bathroom, and there’s a common area for the apartment with a kitchen and laundry. It’s honestly a little strange turning behind myself to lock the doors up, but I can jive with it. I mean Gboro is admittedly full of some jank. Not that any city isn’t. A lot of my free time has been either laying around watching tv [should switch to tv and melee practice now that I’ve brought a setup over lol], or hanging out at will’s/chris’s/Geeksboro to play melee, or walking somewhere to get food, or eventually once Ash and Aaron get off work I’ll join them at bars for drinks. Those cuteys are so sweet, first of all, it seems like they really care about each other and I fucking love it. Also they constantly remind me of myself, which is weird, but I also love it. Like Aaron even knew how to play Gauntlet [which we played at boxcar for a while the other day], and that’s like one of the rarer Tyler traits. Also also I was out of sorts for a bit because they keep wanting to buy me drinks and shit all the time. At first I was like are they coddling me? are they trying to baby me? Am I a charity case? Am I just going to be an eternal bum? And I realized maybe. But then I realized more importantly they’re just doing what I would do and I fucking love it lmao.

Like what really drove it home was the other night I went out on this netflix-n-chill date with this girl [more on that later], dropped her off, went out to meet Aaron. Ashleigh’s at home sick, so we’re drinking with our friends cory and... fk... matt? Gonna have to catch his name again I’m so fucking dumb. Anyway, Aaron buys us shots, i go out to smoke a cigarette, we were talking about drugs for a sec, he pops in and out and all of a sudden just tells me to hit up the bathroom and hands me ~a gram of coke hahahaha. For a second I was thinking “who the fuck Does that? I love this man.” and then I thought back to the last time Camille visited for New Years and the day me and her did molly I ended up giving a couple points to her brother for nothing and they were just flabbergasted at me. Gave them some excuse like “man, I don’t deal drugs” and just handed it to him hahaha. So I realized “oh yeah. *I* do that.” So then I realized that since they were both me they were perfect for each other and I’m really happy for them and now I kinda hope that Aaron turns into my slightly older brother figure that I get to bro out with all the time hahahaha.

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