#these fucking clownshoes

[vyorei]

The voice clip I just sent to my partner about this..

I'm sick to death of the US trying to force this narrative on everyone

#free gaza #free palestine #gaza strip #irish solidarity with palestine #palestine #gaza #news on gaza #al jazeera #boycott israel #israel #USA #Antony Blinken #Fall in a fucking hole you absolute cockwad clownshoe

[attractthecrows]

im almost irritated that im back into dragoned age tbh. like i DID my time in the discourse trenches! it was fucking insufferable! i know all the arguments! i know all the plot holes! i know about the bad writing and the terrible indigenous allegories and the "What About Our Poor Widdle Empire :((("-ism and the both-sides whataboutism and hypocrisy. I know about the anti-Anders Cullen critical Loghain apologists. i remember. i really, really do. i was there, Gandalf, and it was terrible.

unfortunately,

#dragon age #unfortunately my brain is fucking BROKEN #and now im BACK #god and i was so pretentious the first time around. NO im not doing DALISH everyone does DALISH. you fool. fucking clownshoes #and now lavellan is my most developed inquisitor. ragged sigh

[tiefling-queer]

it's so funny when people say that miscommunication trope wouldn't happen in a group of autistic people, as if my autistic friend group is not constantly having issues with our need to be spoken to in a very particular way while being unable to plainly articulate our thoughts and feelings

#emo poetry #alas i speak in riddles because the disability is disabling #i require people tell me exactly what they need and want #also if you ask me what i need and want i won't be able to tell you #clownshoes fucking disability

[houseofpurplestars]

It's too dreary over here so I bring you some humor from twitter:

https://twitter.com/AdameMedia/status/1745758550964486327?s=20

(A british man attempting to read the statement of so-called "israel" at the ICJ on Friday, only to find that he's "missing a page". Mohammed El-Kurd quips that Hamas must have shuffled his papers.)

#fucking clownshoes #fuck israel #icj #twitter #i stand with palestine #hamas #mohammed el kurd #free palestine

[strangelittlestories]

After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

"I can't believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It's full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd."

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

"Ow!"

"Did you know," says Gretel, "that crows are capable of facial recognition?"

"Eh?" Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Not only that," Gretel continues, "but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they'll often follow people they remember as friends."

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel's hands.

"Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!"

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

"For example," Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, "if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they'll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food."

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

"They'll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!" Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

"Oh shitballs." Says the witch, as the crows descend. "I hope you know this is a great unkindness."

"Technically," Says Gretel, "It's a murder."

---

Thank you for reading. If you'd like to support my writing, you can do so at https://ko-fi.com/strangelittlestories

#fairy tales #writing #PUNS #cool birds

[earthdeep]

under the cut for garden wildlife fight club (not graphic, just violence)

over lunch family was watching a big mouse out and about, bold enough to hang around the base of the bird feeder. v impressive guy, very chunky.

but anyway we spotted a magpie edging onto the scene. you know, fine, the mouse had retreated to take some food home by the time the magpie had domineered the feeder. all's good.

and then the mouse came back? like while the magpie was still very much present. magpie hopped up on feeder, mouse darted over to pick up those delicious ground scraps.

inevitably the magpie spotted the little guy, and we all winced as it jumped down, the both of them momentarily obscured from sight by a flowerbed. we get up from our seats, flocking forwards to bang on the window and interrupt the drama and carnage. and as the pair come into view, the mouse defiantly leaps at the magpie one last time, and the bird jets off to the other end of the garden, where it proceeds to sheepishly peck worms out of the lawn instead. there were no other animals in play, no falling leaves to startle them. the mouse stuck around at the bottom of the feeder to keep eating, buoyed by its success in chasing away an honest to god magpie.

and then the moorhen returned from its daily commute, stalked over, popped its wings back into Torpedo Mode, and charged at the mouse to get it to leave. official garden pecking order:

magpie < mouse <<<<<<< moorhen

#moorhen torpedo mode is very funny btw #they look so goofy that even tho u know this is a threat display and it's one seriously pissed off bird #u just can't take it seriously. clownshoes ass bird #earthdeep does life #but nah fr moorhens are absolute bastards. idk what it is with waterfowl but fuck em all

[ohnoitstbskyen]

Yes, I've seen this, and yes, it's a fucking clownshoes travesty. Riot CEO Dylan Jadeja and Marc Merrill can both eat a big fat sack of shit, the executive class at that company is staffed by incompetent vultures who will throw five hundred people's lives into turmoil because interest rates aren't zero anymore, but who will never so much as shave the five o' clock shadow on their own compensation packages.

If they gave a single solitary shit about sustainability, they would have built a company that can operate when the interest rates are Anything Other Than Zero. They didn't do that because they don't actually care about that, and these layoffs are ENTIRELY about appeasing shareholders and meeting quarterly growth targets, no matter how pathetically Jadeja may protest that He Would Never.

Legends of Runeterra struggled because Riot catastrophically mismanaged it, as evidenced by the DOUBLE 180 degree turn they've now done on Path of Champions as a product. Riot Forge is getting shut down so Riot Games Inc. can go jerk off Saudi Arabia with PR laundering esports events and gag on MBS' veiny, shriveled faucet of oil money, I remember when the LCS tried to get away with promoting NEOM.

Since I cannot repeat it enough: eat shit, Riot CEO Dylan Jadeja, and also Marc Merrill, you incompetent fucking vultures.

#riot games #league of legends #riot forge

[utilitycaster]

not to be a buzzkill (genuinely - I think what I'm proposing is more fun, not less) but whenever I see a post that's like *tying my clownshoes* <absolutely baseless theory> I'm just like. You can just make a post that says "I'd really like to see XYZ happen." Like, you can stop pretending something self-indulgent that makes absolutely no fucking sense - and you know it makes no fucking sense, because you're referencing the clown makeup - is a valid theory, and trying to find the tiniest shreds of not-even-evidence to twist into a shaky house of cards. You can just be like "I want to see this thing, because it would make me happy," and no one can question or dispute that and you can stop digging into how unlikely it is and actually enjoy yourself.

#i fundamentally believe crack theory is an oxymoron. theories should be good and intelligent and supported by plentiful evidence #hunches can be based on vibes #but also there's just Things I'd Like and like. that's how fanfiction SHOULD be used. #be MORE self-indulgent and be LESS dependent on canon validation for this indulgence. you will be happier

[lesbianralzarek]

fellow adhders, you know when todays Mysterious Barrier Preventing You From Doing A Simple Task is placed directly in front of the taking your meds task? and so the rest of the day is a clownshoes shitshow as you arduously slog through every task surrounding that one in the hopes you can unlock it like a skill tree or something? just loaded the dishwasher so heres hoping i suddenly gained the ability to take pills so i can fucking drive to get my refills

[yloiseconeillants]

OK SO SPEAKING OF INDULGENS:

the whole backstory on yloise's ancient being like, emet-selch's EX and not like, azem lmao is that her brother is one of the few people who like, actually died died in the Days of Paradise (an accident) before the Final Days and given that Amaurotine Culture has no framework for processing grief (they don't even say the Death word, if Hythlodaeus' reaction to Hermes saying it in Elpis is anything to go by) and Ariadne Did Not Deal With This in Any Way That Could Be Considered Healthy and basically gave up on everything and pushed Hades out of her life because he had been to the Aetherial Sea! He could have fetched Midas!! But he didn't and didn't understand *why* she was so upset that her brother had ~returned to the Star (it wasn't his choice to do so) (my OC emet-selch then spends the next several millennia learning about how much damage grief can do to a person I guess). Anyway this is a thing that's just Between Them for the rest of the ancient days even if Hades and Ariadne end up trying again (and they do, to no avail, but they keep trying anyway) (again. and again. and again.) (maybe next time it will be better) (it has to be).

ANYWAY fast forward to like, idk, the War of the Magi, wherein Midas has reincarnated as Tursas, a Nymian Marine, partnered with Ariadne's Nymian Scholar, Louhi. Tursas dies at sea and Louhi Also Does Not Deal With This in Any Way That Could Be Considered Healthy and like, blows up the Aetherial Sea so that she could do a necromancy and Emet-Selch has to scramble to fix this and it ends up making Midas' soul WEIRD and the next time he reincarnates near a Calamity is ERASMUS REED, beloved tank who will not die to the point of like

just hovering between states

thus: void zombie erasmus. who has been sitting in my plot for a decade but !!!!! i recently decided on how to resolve this, and it's Yloise as the Warrior of Light playing psychopomp and calling on a favor from the esteemed Emet-Selch (deceased) (very deceased) (but still hanging out in the aetherial sea). And given that the last time she tried to pull something like this, it was in the opposite direction and she blew up the Aetherial Sea, so he helps Erasmus actually die and return to the lifestream or whatever the fuck we're calling it in FFXIV. Anyway: this actually resolves the entire Thing Between Ariadne and Hades so I can put their entire drama to rest (unless like, idk, he pops up again in dawntrail and yloise has to put her clownshoes back on). GPOSES:

#soap opera notes #endwalker spoilers #absolute fucking waffling nonsense #perceive at your own risk

[oeldeservesthenorris]

Listen, guys, cause I'm only gonna say this briefly because as we all know I don't pay attention to/want no information on NHL WAGs/players' relationships (with the exception of my future wives Karly Konecny and Kenzie Larkin, Kenzie and Karly - are you free on Saturday? I am free. Call me.)

What I want to say is: the NHL is so consistently the NHL in fucking up everything - and I mean EVERYTHING they do. In this case, it is absolutely hilarious that the one thing they fucked up was hard launching the new girlfriend of one of their most marketable and recognizable (and notably private re: his relationships) stars, and in doing so inadvertently exposed to her friends and the world some girl's long time bizarre catfish/grift in which she was playing his girlfriend and leading this amazing albeit totally made up romance with him.

Like, sometimes the NHL is so damn clownshoes it's downright cinematic.

As an aside, why do people still believe that in this day and age they can attempt a grift like this and really pull it off? That they won't get caught at some point? and an entire professional sports league being the one to expose you? That's the cherry on the shit sundae, no?

#nhl #nhl hockey #nhl players #jack hughes #nj devils #newjerseydevils #nhl2023 2024

[feybeasts]

Anastasia is such a funny fucking movie to me for all the reasons I’m sure Don Bleuth didn’t want it to be. The main character is based on a debunked fraudster, they absolutely at no point mention WHY Anastasia is orphaned or what took the Romanovs out of power. Homer Simpson is a bat, Rasputin is some sort of perpetually decaying lich instead of his real historical role, which was Banging Anastasia’s Mom as Russia’s Greatest Love Machine

Fuckin clownshoes movie

[yuurivoice]

Hi there. Just have a little thing to say about your newly added rule on your discord.

Look, I understand why it would make you uncomfortable if people started re-creating your voice or Jackies art with AI, but something that I don’t understand is the text part. Respectfully, you don’t post for several weeks, how are you expecting for us to entertain ourselves? We will talk to AI Seth or Alphonse. If you don’t provide the content we sigh up for, we will find other ways.

I'd send this on Anon too, clownshoes. I don't care what you do privately and I said as much in the actual post, but you want to piss and moan?

You also realize that the list of people this is likely coming from is...very short...and very obvious. Right?

You shoulda ran this one by someone with more sense than you before chirping at me. Go fuck yourself, respectfully.

I have to reiterate how silly it is to send this when the request was purely to keep it off the server and acknowledged that people can do what they want privately. Not to mention, in all your brilliant offense, you clearly missed the discussion that took place after the fact where I shared additional thoughts that likely would have removed the stick from your ass since you took it so personally lol.

Those boys you miss so bad would be disgusted by your behavior by the way. 🥰

[inbarfink]

OOC Discourse is always a complicated topic, cause on one hand it IS reductive to go like... there ARE instances where the fans have a better grasp on a character than the actual canon writers do. Especially when you consider bigger creative projects with multiple writers, and especially especially the long-running ones where the original creators are basically uninvolved and everything ‘canon’ that’s being made right now is basically copyrighter-holders-approved-fanfiction. And even in the smaller-scale projects, sometimes the creator writes in something kinda OOC for the sake of pacing or plot or a stupid joke, or maybe they’re just not very good at it and they fucked up. There are cases where fan complaints about canon-material being ‘OOC’ is valid and should be considered.

But on the other hand, there are far too many fans who throw in the “OOC” claim when, like, canon just happens to contradict their favorite not-actually-textually-supported-headcanon, or contradict a version of the character that has kinda mutated through a fandom-wide game of Telephone. Or just like, refusing to engage with the idea that the character might contain more than the surface-level we were initially introduced to, or that people might react Differently in Different Situations, or that Character Development is a thing. And I feel like the folks who are complaining that the Deltarune “The Newest Girl Girl” blogpost is “OOC” for Kris, Susie and Noelle are really a case of the second thing?

Like, first things first, trying to authoritatively label anything Kris does as “OOC” is, in my humble opinion, aboslutely friggin’ clownshoes right now. Kris is the most enigmatic character in Deltarune’s main cast. Because we’re controlling them, we can only can only infer what they are like from the glimpses of their true personality and behavior slipping in through the cracks and from stories told to us by their friends and family. There’s a lot of cool interpetation and analysis work done by the Fandom about Kris’ personality from the little info we have and a lot of it is well-reasoned and well-argued-for but... 

When we get one of the first canon scenes descriptions featuring a (probably?) not posessed Kris, and their behavior in some way happens contradict your Kris Interpetation? I think the correct reaction is less “this so OOC” as much as “hmmm, maybe I need to reconsider some things in my personal interpetation of the characrter?” We’re still in the early stages of the process of assembling the puzzle pieces of Kris’ personality, this is not really the time where we can throw away pieces cause we think they won’t fit?

And Noelle, she felt very consistent with her character so far to me? We already know that freezing up during scary situations is a problem for her - her inability to actually stand up against jerks was, like, her whole character arc in the second chapter. Mostly the focus was about how folks kept overriding her desires and forcing her to do things, but there’s also an undercurrent to how it’s stopping her from meaningfully defending her friends. Espacially when you consider her dynamic with Berdly and his dynamic with Susie and Kris... Honestly, if she behaved better through that whole encounter that could have somewhat diminished the importance of her Big Moment in the climax of Chapter 2. 

And as for Susie.... Yeah, right now we all love and appreciate Susie as the most Wholesome Delta Warrior and the bestest friend of them all - but you remember what happened in Chapter 1, right? She did start out as a bully. She slammed Kris against a locker, threathened to eat their face, constantly insulted them and then spent a good chunk of the Chapter just beating up everyone and everything in the Dark World. These actions stand in contrast to the sweeter side that she shows later on in the game, but it doesn’t negate them or negate the idea that she might’ve done more stuff like that before.

I think you can argue that what Susie did in the blogpost is worse than what she did in Chapter 1, just in the sense that “your mother WILL abandon you and will be happier without you!” is crueler in a much more personal way than “I will eat your face”. But not really in the sense of “Susie would have NEVER said something like this!” as much as “what would prompt Susie to say something like that?” Was she going through a praticularly rough time after moving into Hometown, causing her to take out her own frustrations and insecurities on Kris much more than later on? Was this a spesifically Bad Day? Did... whatever Kris told her in reply really shook her emotionally that much? Did she end up regretting her words and deeds on some level and started mellowing out even before Chapter 1 start? There are a lot of interesting possibilities!

I guess that’s what frustrates me the most about a knee-jerk “OOC Writing” reaction for every time a character catches the fandom off-guard. A sort of refusal to really engage with the text and it’s implication for the characters before you just chuck the text in the grabage. I think this is very much supposed to be a ‘how far they’ve come’ sort of thingie, contrasting the characters as they existed in this blog pre-character development with the better-adujsted post-Dark World Adventure versions we experienced in the game. We’re supposed to to feel some sort of emotional vertigo from how Noelle, Susie and Kris interact here to how they interact by the end of Chapter 2 - but that’s not because of Bad Writing, just cause these kids are changing and growing!

#deltarune #kris #kris deltarune #kris dreemurr #Susie #susie deltarune #noelle #noelle holiday #noelle deltarune #spamton sweepstakes

[helions-lighthouse]

Keith Olbermann has a line that he often comes back to, that democracy survives more thanks to the incompetence of those who oppose it, than the efforts of those who defend it.

I find myself forcefully reminded of this today, watching the absolute clownshow that has been the start of the UK General Election campaign (with the election set for 4th July - not historically the best of days for overly forceful British governments).

First there was last night, starting with the announcement speech which was a glorious fucking disaster for Sunak(to such an extent that even the americans noticed), and then continuing with his first campaign event, largely overshadowed by the spectacle of the journalist from Sky News being physically thrown out of the entire building. Meanwhile, the right-wing news were reporting that Tory MPs were so furious with Sunak having called the election that they were actively plotting to remove him and call the whole thing off.

And then... today. Oh dear gods.

They really are so, incredibly bad at this.

They started with an interview on radio 4 where Sunak was his normal condescending, tetchy self, snapping at challenge and talking patent bollocks. Not great, but what is more or less expected from him at this point.

Then the clangers started dropping: 1) While talking on about pharmacies at a campaign event in derby, Sunak had the line "so erm… I don't know but maybe if any of you have small children or an earache, erm…" which was so surreal and clippable as these guys in high-vis looked on.

2)After that event the high-vis clad bloke who had asked a fairly friendly question of Sunak was talking to a journalist, and all but put up his hand to say "yeah, I'm the local tory councillor, party HQ asked me to be here and gave me the question" - translation: "hi yeah, I was a plant, that was all staged".

3) At a second campaign event, this one at a brewery in Wales, Sunak (a teetotaler) excitedly asked if all of these brewery workers were looking forwards to "watching all this football" - stone silence, and then one of them quietly saying "Prime Minister, Wales didn't qualify for the Euros"

^ Prime Minister Sunak, finding every last rake to step on that he can seemingly find.

Not to be entirely outdone, ReformUK (the real far-right) jumped on in, with one of their campaign accounts on twitter saying how ready they were for the general election on the 6th of July.

Now... if they'd said the 3th or the 5th, I could let it pass, those are atleast next to 4 on the keyboard - but erm... 6 isn't.

These people are absolute clownshoes. They really are. :P

#banging on about politics and economics #uk general election #fuck the tories

[2009isitanyways]

being happy fucking sucks when u have OCD bc the whole fuckin time all u can think is "it is by sheer cosmic negligence i have been allowed to experience this and everything good i have ever known is going to turn into vapor leaving me destitute and pathetic as soon as i fart twice in a row in the key of B major or go under a yellow light without doing The Ritual™️ or talk to anybody about my thoughts"

absolute fucking clownshoes mental condition. i'm afraid of my thoughts? and i cope with that by thinking even more?

fucking ridiculous.

#OCD #obsessive compulsive disorder