#there's a comic in the adventurer's bible where marcille is like 'yeah she had a job lined up and everything'

[ambrosiagourmet]

I think one of the biggest tragedies of Laios & Falin and their relationship is how much his actions impact her life. But like. Specifically how much they WOULDN’T impact her life as much if they weren’t both stuck in such a shitty abusive situation.

This part of the Falin-tries-makeup daydream hour comic is what got me thinking about it again because truly it just... it seems like such a like an offhand comment that I'm sure Laios didn't mean to be cruel or anything. That's just like. A little kid not thinking about what they are saying. ESPECIALLY when the kid in question is Laios.

But man they depended on each other SO much as kids. Too much. It really feels like they didn't have any other source of positive reinforcement, or anyone else to share themselves with. So of course an offhand comment like that has a huge impact on Falin.

Or this little bit from one of the flashbacks:

This tears me apart. Do you think it tears him apart to think about? I think it does. I think Laios holds every small failure to care for Falin against himself.

And then there's the Bigger stuff. The way that him coping with his own trauma ended up impacting her.

Like his interest in monsters. Like him going to find a ghost, and accidentally revealing Falin's magic to the whole village in the process.

Like him needing to leave. And leaving her behind.

He shaped her life so much, and he carries so much guilt for it. And again, there should have been other people there to help. The same things that made Laios need to leave home are the things that made his leaving so hard on Falin. She ate alone after that. She shouldn't have had to eat alone just because Laios wasn't there.

She was 9 when he left for school, and he was 11.

Nine. And Laios feels like he failed her because he didn't stand by her through this better. As an eleven year old.

Both of these kids deserved so much better from the world.

#dunmeshi analysis #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #laios touden #dungeon meshi spoilers #AND this isn't even getting into her leaving the academy & how much it seems like that was directly tied to how poorly he was doing #there's a comic in the adventurer's bible where marcille is like 'yeah she had a job lined up and everything' #and like. do you think he feels bad for that too #like he wrecked her life by leaving #and wrecked her life by showing up #what do you even do at that point. if you feel like a failed protector when you are away & and a burden when you return #unable to make yourself accept. unable to make yourself resist #Laios strongest moment is when he lets himself accept that. the contradiction of his life & his relationship with Falin #that he has to kill her to save her #as a small note this came out a little more focused on Laios' POV with this stuff but Falin's experience of it is v important to me too #didn't mean to sideline her but her feelings about stuff are more speculative and probably need a post of their own

[lgbtlunaverse]

This page from the adventurer's bible makes me want to cry

Like basically any neurodivergent dungeon meshi fan, I see a lot of myself in the Touden siblings. But I was blindsided by just how much I suddenly related to Falin in this little comic from the adventure bible's complete version.

It's about the Touden siblings' differing relationships with their parents, and why Laios still holds their treatment of Falin against them, while Falin herself doesn't.

We know that Falin was isolated and ostraziced by their village after she saved Laios from a ghost, displaying her uncanny affinity for magic. Her parents, instead of defending her, sent her away, which angered Laios so much he ran way himself before Falin even left for magic school, hoping to make a living so he and Falin could live together alone.

He tells Marcile this, but when she goes to Falin, she says she sees things differently. Her father sent her to magic school to protect her form the rest of the village without having to cause a conflict. He didn't explain that, and we actually see her burst into tears when he says it.

But, well... Laios was gone for a year before Falin went to magic school, and everyone else in the village avoided her. The understanding Falin has with her parents to me looks like one borne out of necessity, she literally didn't have anyone else to talk to.

And this is where we get to the page that made me want to cry

Like I said, I relate to the Toudens because I'm neurodivergent myself. that feeling of suddenly realizing you're disliked, but not knowing what you did wrong or what you should have done instead? Yeah... that's one I recognize.

When I was around 9 years old, the same age Falin is in this comic, a bunch of kids in my class decided to make a "game" where you lost if you touched me. It was basically the 'cheese-touch' from diary of a wimpy kid, except I always had it and couldn't pass it along. They'd pretend I was poisonous or disgusting and run away from me screaming or gagging. The point was to make fun of me. But my autistic little 9 year old ass thought "Oh I get it! It's tag but I'm always it!" So I... played along. Running at a boy and having him fall on the ground screaming in fake pain because you tapped him is, in isolation, pretty funny.

It wasn't until months into the "game" that I realized it was meant to be meanspirited. That the reason I was the one who was always 'it' wasn't an arbritrary rule but the whole point. Because I was weird and gross. I wasn't in on the joke, I was the punchline.

Falin may have come to understand her parents' intentions, but she didn't always. The adventure bible actually tells us that she at first didn't even notice that the rest of their village disliked her. She clearly knows now, but she had to be told. So when her mom tried to exorcise her, she just saw it as an activity she got to do with a mother she usually didn't get to spend much time with because of her poor health. It's only Laios who notices something is wrong.

(Sidenote, Laios being hyper-aware of people's poor attitudes towards Falin but completely blindsided when he's in the same spot, like with Toshiro, is also very relatable as an eldest sibling)

It probably also took Falin months, until after her brother had left and she had no one but her parents, to realize why her mother had been doing all those things.

And I know they're not the same. Even misguidedly, Falin's mom was trying to help her, not make fun of her like those boys in my class. (Though, as a queer person who also cares a lot about the queercoding in Falin's storyline, a parent trying to 'exorcise' their child of a fundamental part of them the parent thinks is evil or corruptive? yeah... that's not perfectly wholesome)

But do you know what I did, when I finally figured out the game was always meant to make fun of me?

To me, it looked like I had a choice.

See, those boys eventually figured out I didn't understand that they were being mean to me. I'd laugh every time I managed to catch one of them, I was visibly having fun. And while it no doubt only made me more of a weirdo in their eyes, they never informed me that I shouldn't be enjoying myself. That the point was for me to feel hurt.

So now that I did know, I had a choice. I could either get upset, and let the insult land as it was supposed to. That wouldn't stop them, because making fun of me was the original goal. Or I could ignore it and go on as usual. They had already accepted that I didn't get it, and they weren't gona stop me from having fun, so why should I?

And the thing is that I had... one friend, in that whole class. One person who actually liked talking to me and hanging out with me. I was lonely. And the 'game' provided me with another social interaction, mean-spirited as it was, that I desperately needed. And it was so delightfully simple. Navigating actual friendships as a kid with autism and adhd was so fucking complicated, and I'd never know when I might break an inivisble rule. But I knew the rules to the game perfectly!

Sometimes, if I was chasing one of them, the others would trap him and hold him down so I could tap him. In those moments it actually did kind of feel like I was playing with them, rather than against them. And it didn't change much, they didnt start actually liking me. But they were willing to roll with the fact that I wasn't upset, and I took advantage of that because I needed to.

So you can look at Falin seeing the best in her parents as her being naïve, but I look at this page and I see myself, at first unable to differentiate between playing and being made fun of. And then later, when I did see the difference, deciding not to get mad about it because that'd mean losing that social interaction, and I couldn't afford to.

Like I said, Falin probably first realized this in the year she spent with her brother gone, and everyone else avoiding her like the plague. If she refused to talk to her parents, like Laios did, she'd have no one left.

I see a lot of people relating to the fight between Laios and Toshiro. that frustration when you realize someone you thougth was your friend actually hates you, and they never said anything, never gave you a chance to fix it because you had no idea that you were even doing something wrong! And I can see that, too. But sometimes, when people don't fully hate you, it feels better to go along with the pretending. Because adressing it won't fix it. Because the problem isn't a specific behaviour, it's you. And if they're willing to tolerate you, despite the fact that it's you, then you'll take it. Because other people do hate you, so this is the best you'll get.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi meta #falin touden #laios touden #neurodivegent #autism #adhd #long post #this one got REAL personal oops

[kemafili]

Laois Dungeonmeshi!

GAHHHHHHHH oh holy smokes ok i have been getting ready for this all my life alrgiht i want to be as brief as possible bc if i start to real rant ill never finish

favorite thing about them: puppy sunshine attitude on natural moments, when he needs to change he will do so, sometimes (or maybe even always) he fails at it since he cant read social cues correctly, i adore his social skills epic fail, like i love your autism

least favorite thing about them: idk maybeee ummmm idk nothing i think

favorite line: im going to have to list them

they let me milk a minotaur

i wanted to be born as a quadrupedal monster, too!

at least let me count her nipples!

why am i the only person with a blindfold on..?

im being insulted in a language i dont undersand! and it sounds really nasty!

thats...! so lame.

Just being long-limbed isnt a talent

brOTP: Namari and Laius, they are very fun to see interact with each other, they seem to have a very clear opening on how one likes something a lot like an hyperfixation, Laius appreaciates Namaris knowledge of weapons and such and Namari can appreciate Laius interest for monsters like a tad strange thing but she seems to come around it, in the background panneling of the first-ish chapters and maybe even later on when namari is shown as a flashback, it can be seen that they might have been the second ones to spend more time togheter (Namari and Chilchuck being first, not including Marcille and Falin bc they are basically stuck togheter like glue), oh shit also also the adventurers bible has a few comics where namari and laius are drinking togheter and shes helping him with some shit issues and then they also speak on body hair shit lmfao omggggg fuck my life whatever uuughh i am so normal about them, i do really like them in liek aaaa ummm i say brotp bc i feel like they are very silent of romantic emotion but i also dont want to say everything is platonic lol, they bros in the way straight men that have gay sex are you feel me like that picture of two men almost kissing and it says this is how straight men hang out.

OTP: Laius and Kabru, liek omggg at first i was like they are toxic as hell but just someting so hillyius about them lmfao idk the chad (Kabru) has a love hate situation with the Nerd (Laius) and the nerd doesnt want teh chad? hillaryus idgaf keep chasing that piece of meat though.

nOTP: Laius and Marcille ☹ guhhhhh omg they are besties and Marcille has been so clear on not wanting anything with laius romantically so its liek guhhhhhhh i dont even know what to add here

random headcanon: i said liek 50 million times in the past his favorite food would be cheesecake bc he loves dairy but that is canon now so i want to add that Flan is also his second favorite annnnndddd uhhhh i have so much shit to addd here but i dont have it on my thoguhts rn bc i am Star Trekpilled so i am forgetting my own written lore but like my friends on the server once said

unpopular opinion: i dont like when peopel paint him as a kid or as an idiot because of the autism shit, like he is very much aware of other stuff, saying he doesnt even know what sex is did you forgot when he joked about the crabs inside those treasure shit (i forgot the proper name lmfao) saying if you saw their bottoms ud know their gender and he had a smirk on his face and Chilchuck got pissed off about it or when he found out the armors had sex while holding hands or when the Marcille succubi showed up he knew itd be fucked up if everyone else knew come the fuck on he knows what the hell is up, we need to sexualize autism okay and this doesnt go only there though btw liek stop making him dumber he knows what is up idk how to word it correctly but yeah he cant caught up on social cues but its not a whole umbrella of him being a dumbass

song i associate with them: woah i think its hilarryus that as one of my favorite characters i havent made him a playlist but i feel like hes just. so , so unmusical, like that before mentioned adventurers bible chapter where he says i cant sing or dance i was like yup i am ppretty sure you cant, he doenst seem to have a rhythim LMFAO id say anything that is related to medieval music thats what reminds me of him

favorite picture of them: hi

i hate having to choose only one picture but i love blushing and i love eating so this one