#there’s also a lovely gentleness to how he phrases it. Lwj just wants wwx to be happy. Bonus if he gets to be in proximity

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Business comes first! Drinking is the job!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #It's finally outfit change time! Third time for wwx and second for lwj! #I'm always a big fan of when characters change clothes and it's fun to change it up. #this scene once again emphasizes how much wwx acts in a reactionary way and gets *so thrown* when someone goes ‘yes-and’ #‘no lan zhan- you arent supposed to *agree*’ #there’s also a lovely gentleness to how he phrases it. Lwj just wants wwx to be happy. Bonus if he gets to be in proximity #wwx’s hedonism is a very interesting topic for another analytical rant #pre-burial mounds he’s a creature of pleasures! Post burial mounds? He doesnt feel alive enough to warrent enjoying life’s pleasures #i guess you could say both lwj and wwx have struggled comparing and contrasting two versions of each other

[vrishchikawrites]

I suck at writing dialogue.

Any advice, senpai?

Ok *rolls up sleeves* I have 10 tips!

1. Give characters individual vocal characteristics.

2. People don't write and speak in the same way.

3. Read the sentence in one breath.

4. Think about what the character would say and wouldn't say.

5. Characters interact differently with different people.

6. Use Dialogue to show what's happening and people's opinions on it.

7. Mind the dialogue tags.

8. Avoid cliche phrases.

9. Avoid saying obvious things.

10. People often don't respond logically or answer questions.

I've elaborated everything below and cut for length.

1. Give characters individual vocal characteristics.

LWJ has his famous 'mn' and I tend to use 'aiya' with WWX to showcase his casual manner of speaking. Nailing character voices at first is important to create natural dialogue. Clear vocal characteristics help readers identify one person from another, especially if you don't want to overuse identifiers like names or pronouns.

2. People don't write and speak in the same way.

People will sometimes skip articles, forego a few grammar rules, and will almost always shorten words and sentences wherever possible. Instead of saying, 'I'm hungry, I want to eat' most people will say, 'I'm hungry, want to eat' Remove all unnecessary words from the dialogue as much as possible, even if the character is considered talkative.

Use italics if you want to emphasize, ellipses to highlight pauses and indicate hesitation, dashes to also highlight sharper pauses. Use them instead of saying words to describe the situation.

3. Read the sentence in one breath.

When you finish writing the dialogue, read it out loud to see if you can say it in one breath. If not, add a pause or a full stop at appropriate places.

4. Think about what the character would say and wouldn't say.

LWJ speaks very efficiently. He always makes his point without speaking too many words. You wanna condense such a character's sentences as much as possible - without making him sound robotic because afaik, he doesn't sound stiff and robotic in Chinese (i may be wrong). WWX, on the other hand, is liberal with his speech but he's not verbose. To me, he doesn't say unnecessary words either, he just tends to elaborate more than LWJ does.

Before you create dialogue for any character, you'll need to understand what is characteristic and uncharacteristic for a person to say.

5. Characters interact differently with different people.

A person's tone will change based on who they're talking to. WWX will be more open and playful with LWJ, he'll take on a more mature edge when interacting with the juniors, he'll be distant and respectful with LXC, and distant but with an edge of sharpness with LQR.

Examples from the first chapter of Trapped and Patient

With WQ - "This is madness." He protests, "You're giving me too much credit!" With a stranger - Wei Wuxian taps on the table, smiling at the notes as the wine bottle is placed in front of him, "My friend, does that man come here often?"

With JYL - “Shijie! You know how restless I get,” His voice is cheerful, “What can I do here? I’m just sitting on my hands and languishing while everyone else is out there, preparing for war-”

With Sect Leader Yu - Wei Wuxian frowns, “Very well, I’d like to personally speak with them before I accept any sort of offer.”

With LXC - “I will tell you all, of course.” He assures and looks around, “I heard a few rumors and decided to offer my services to you and Chifeng-zun.”

With LWJ - "Lan Zhan! Lan er-gongzi!" He greets, elated, "I missed you!"

Everyone's tone changes based on who they're addressing and what kind of situation they are in.

6. Use Dialogue to show what's happening and people's opinions on it.

In T&P - Ch - 2 - WWX and LQR have a conversation and WWX says this:

He glances at Lan Qiren, “You have been in my position before, Elder Lan, was it a privilege?”

With it, WWX is able to explain his position in a way that is relatable to LQR, establish a connection with LQR, and lay the foundation for their relationship down the line.

LQR's response is an indication of acceptance and truce. It is also a conversation between adults instead of an elder and a teenager. If I played my cards right, I have showcased that LQR's perspective has shifted and WWX has grown enough and is cautious of his new position to take LQR seriously like he didn't before.

“Good. It is past time you live up to your potential, Wei Wuxian.”

Dialogue can establish the foundation of relationships better than paragraphs worth of description can and it does it in a way that is more personal.

7. Mind the dialogue tags.

He said, she said, etc, are sometimes necessary and sometimes they're not. If you can clearly identify the speaker, there's no need to add the tag. If the conversation is a rapid-fire exchange of words between two parties, you can forgo tags entirely.

He grins sheepishly, “I seek advice from you against his wishes, Zewu-jun. Forgive me for being a bit anxious.”

Lan Xichen waves his hand, “We’re both older brothers, are we not?

“Tell me about your new cultivation. It is remarkable.” There’s genuine interest in Lan Xichen's voice, “Where did you come up with the idea?”

“You’ll laugh,” Wei Wuxian says-

This dialogue uses the tag 'WWX says' only once and the rest of the conversation doesn't have it. Be conscious of the tags and where you use them.

8. Avoid cliche phrases.

Few things pull a reader away from a story than cliche phrases that people will rarely utter in their life. An exchange like this - "Why are you doing this?" - "Because I love you, damnit!" has become too common and isn't as effective as it used to be, especially when a character is confessing for the first time.

Best way to avoid cliche or cringy dialogue is to read the sentence out loud and consider whether it sounds natural.

9. Avoid saying obvious things.

If you've already written a paragraph on how eerily quiet a forest is, there's no need for a character to say - "It is quiet here isn't it?" Especially if the character is someone like WWX or LWJ, who are naturally observant. Don't let your character explain everything you have already described in text unless they need to explain it to someone.

10. People often don't respond logically or answer questions directly.

People tend to not answer questions directly. Even in serious conversations, they'll go about it a round-about way.

Wei Ying is silent for a while before he laughs softly, "Aiya, Lan Zhan, I already know what you wish to ask." Wangji waits patiently for permission and Wei Ying huffs and nods, "Yes, you may."

"What did you eat?"

Wei Ying picks up Wangji's hands and presses a gentle kiss on them, lacing their fingers together. He lingers for a moment before sighing, "My Hanguang-jun doesn't deserve to hear of such grim things."

Wangji curls his fingers because that might as be a confirmation. His heart breaks for his beloved and he closes his eyes, "Your husband wishes to know, Wei Ying."

"Mostly some small critters, Lan Zhan," he admits, "Sometimes I'd dig up roots of trees. They were softer and easier to consume. I managed to catch a few birds. Bugs, earthworms, maggots, crickets- they were plentiful.

WWX doesn't give a straightforward reply without LWJ coaxing things out of him. Characters lie, deflect, evade, blurt out excuses. LWJ consciously doesn't interrupt people but it is natural for people to interrupt each other's conversations too. Sometimes people will take a frustratingly long time to get to the point. You need to incorporate that.

"Hanguang-jun, surely you understand! Our village has faced draught ever since these children arrived and we finally know why! The Gods are displeased with us!"

Wangji looks at the children, feeling a stir of concern at their wan faces. They've already been beaten black and blue by angry villagers.

"I'll be taking the children," Wangji looks at his husband in surprise but doesn't voice any objections. It is rare for Wangji to deny his husband anything these days and Wei Ying's desires are often simple things, easy to fulfill with the greatest pleasure.

No one directly replies to the person who has spoken. That's also a common thing. Every question or comment doesn't need reciprocation to carry dialogue.

Of course, this is my amateur attempt. I would also recommend doing some online research. Hope this helps?

#reader asks #unofficial writing advice?

[jcisthebestfightme]

BJYX Song #3: If I Were Young

BJYX Song Series List

Disclaimer: This is all in my own head. 

Since it’s the 1 year anniversary of the airing of 11th anniversary of ttxs, I will write the companion piece of Nan Hai, “If I Were Young” by Ronghao Li. This song is actually extremely popular across the world. Many people, include multiple cast of CQL, has mention that they like this song. Does this make its significance to ggdd less special? I don’t think so. I think they have their own reasons for liking this song. It just shows how many different stories this song can touch. 

First, I want to mention that I love the music video to this song. The story goes very well with the lyrics and it’s almost like the mini-movie. That being said, it’s actually distracting to me when analyzing haha because I keep thinking of the story in the mv instead of ggdd. So I want to include the video of just the lyrics with full English translation instead of the actual music video.

Similar to the music video, the lyrics describes a story of an middle-age/elderly man looking back at his life with vivid imageries such as paying downpayment and punching the walls. It makes the song much more realistic but also harder to analyze the lyrics. So instead of taking apart the lyrics like I usually do, I will focus more on the overall message of different parts of the lyrics. 

This song was first mentioned by ggdd during ttxs filming. They were asked to show their playlist. This song is part of dd’s playlist. He said his playlist has a lot of sad song and he chose this song to sing as an example. Then, during an interview filmed on 7/29, the day after the airing of this episode of ttxs (7/28), ggdd were asked to describe each other with a song. We all remember that dd said “Nan Hai” without hesitation. What you may not have notice is that gg asked dd “That song you like, what is it called?” And the dd whispered “Nian Shao You Wei (If I Were Young)” and then that’s when gg said it louder into the mic. It’s speculated that ggdd probably watched the ttxs episode the night before so that they would know what song they were referring to. 

Even though the song was used by gg to describe dd, I want to analyze this song from dd’s perspective. Gg chose this song because dd likes it and he thinks it suits him. It also originated from dd’s playlist so I think the song has more significance to dd instead of gg. 

電視一直閃 (The TV keeps flickering) 聯絡方式都還沒刪 (Your contact hasn’t been deleted) 你待我的好 (The care you give me) 我卻錯手毀掉 (I mistakenly destroyed)

This first stance talks about how much care the past lover of the singer gave him and how he regrets giving this person up. The focus here is the symmetry between the meticulous, domestic care described in the song and how gg treats dd. 

也曾一起想 (We use to both want) 有個地方睡覺吃飯 (To have a place to eat and sleep [together]) 可怎麼去熬日夜顛倒連頭款也湊不到 (But how do we get past the difficult life, of working day and night, and not being able to even pay the downpayment)

Of course, ggdd have not been in a situation so dire, thankfully to their parents, that they do not have enough money for food or a roof over their heads. But this part talks about realistic challenges in life and I think it reminds dd about the hardship in the world they will need to face, even for a simple wish of living simply. 

牆板 被我砸爛 到現在還沒修 (The wallboard I smashed hasn’t been repaired to this day) 一碗熱的粥 你怕我沒夠 都留一半帶走 (A warm bowl of porridge, you’re afraid I do not have enough to eat so you only took half)

This stance describes the couple having a fight but the lover still loved the singer so much that they left half their porridge for them. I love this line the most because it sounds exactly like something gg will do. It’s so detailed and caring. 

給你形容 美好今後你常常眼睛會紅 (When I describe our future dream to you, you often have tears in your eyes) 原來心疼我 我那時候不懂 (I never knew until now that it’s because you were concerned about/cherish me)

The word “心疼” is difficult to translate because it has the connotation of being distressed for someone but out of love. Its literal translation if heart+ache. I can see this exact scene playing out with ggdd. They’re uncertain of their future because of so many obvious challenges they will have to face. And I think gg will probably “心疼” dd because dd is so much younger and have to also bear this responsibility. This is dd acknowledging gg’s concern for him and telling him that he has received his love.

假如我年少有為不自卑 (If back when I was young, I was not self-abased) 懂得什麼是珍貴 (And I knew to cherish what was important) 那些美夢 (Those beautiful dreams) 沒給你 我一生有愧 (That I was not able to give you, is something I regret my whole life)

The lyrics in the chorus is sang from the perspective of an older man regretting his decisions and lack of self-worth when he was younger, probably in his 20s. Since dd is still young and in his early 20s, we know that it’s not him looking back on his past. Instead, it’s him projecting to his future and think what his future self would tell his current self. It’s almost as if he’s lecturing himself to not have self-pity right now, cherish the love that is important to him, and be brave about facing the future. He’s warning himself about the regrets the singer of this song has. 

In this part, I also see the parallel with Wangxian. LWJ didn’t take action 13/16 years ago when WWX were bullied by everyone. He was scared because standing up for WWX would be against everything he was taught and his family. He wavered because hasn’t strong enough to fight everyone for WWX. So he lost WWX in the end. Re-meeting 13/16 years later was a second chance that was sent from heaven. This was when he started to fight for his love and protect WWX at all cost. Like dd said himself, LWJ only really realize his love after he has lost it when WWX died. But dd is also adamant that he’s not LWJ. He won’t let himself regret and lose his love like LWJ.

假如我年少有為 知進退 (If back when I was young, I knew when to fight/move forward and when to retreat/move backwards) 才不會讓你替我受罪 (Then I wouldn’t have let you suffer for me)

Similar to the previous stance, this is dd reminding himself to take current actions that he will not regret in the future. The understanding of the phrase “when to fight and when to retreat” exudes maturity. When you’re young and naive, you think that you should always try to fight forward. When you get hurt and become jaded, you become scared and retreats. But real maturity is when you learn the appropriate time to fight and when to take a step back. Dd’s understanding of this phrase shows that he has maturity much beyond his age, which we can see in other ways as well.

婚禮上 多喝幾杯 (On your wedding day, have a few more drinks) 和你現在那位 (With the person you’re with now)

This corresponds to the line in “Nan Hai” that talks about not being able to give you the future another person, in this case a girl, would be able to. The imagery of the wedding in this line is very traditional, at least to a Chinese person. You can vividly see the wedding with red veils, extended family with expectations of grandchildren, and friends drinking not to celebrate you but celebrating the sake of a tradition. Similar to “Nan Hai”, I think dd feels insecure about his age and gender, knowing he is unable to give gg this exact “wedding” and that another person can. But honestly dd, think about Wangxian. The best part about Wangxian’s ending is that they never had a wedding ceremony. Why? Because wedding ceremonies are not for the two people in love. Wedding ceremonies are what people feel like they owe the world. But the world was so cruel to them that they said “f- that” and just eloped on their own. Life belongs to two people. You owe the world nothing.

In summary, this song is dd constantly reminding himself to make the right decision right now so that he will not regret it in the future. From both “Nan Hai” and this song, we can see that even though dd seems straightforward, confident, and unfazed to what the world thinks of him, deep down, he’s actually fragile, insecure, and scared. Dd has the tendency to want to be strong and he wants to give gg everything. But everyone has limits and these songs represents his fear of not being able to live up to his own promises. It’s also because of this fragile interior that dd is attracted to gg. Even though gg seems nice, easy-going, and gentle on the outside, he’s actually very strong, confident, and secure on the inside. This is evident from my analysis of “If I Were A Song.” Gg is confident about the care he can provide for dd. These two love each other, need each other, and complete each other. 

#bjyx #yizhan #zsww #If I were young