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#there would be issues but if I brought them up i wld then be made to feel guilty for feeling that way
skunkes · 2 months
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the way I've been raised has shown itself in a recent awful experience I had and the realization won't leave me because I'm not sure what to do about it.
I don't like feeling anger/upset and it's rare for me to feel it anyway but it's led to me being unable to tell what's worth getting upset over anymore. If my wants upset somebody, then, well, maybe I shouldn't have them? What is so serious that I need it to go completely my way...? What desires am I allowed to have. It's not that serious, it's okay if not, you can't always get what you want....
every time I feel Upset I am later wracked with guilt because it wasn't a big deal and I was just being selfish... What IS a big deal then? How can I tell? Its admittedly never a big deal... But I keep being upset. And stepped on....
#talkys#this is what led to me Staying for as long as i did#there would be issues but if I brought them up i wld then be made to feel guilty for feeling that way#but i cant reverse that bc well!! its true like is it really a big deal? life isnt that serious I dont need to get upset...#i get upset at something my parents do and in the end i feel ungrateful and selfish#i really cant tell anymore which is why i Stayed as mentioned above#in the sense of well yeah the way im being treated doesnt make me feel good but why do i need to feel good?#isnt that selfish...isnt that asking too much...isnt that making yourself out to be Better Than...#i really dont know. i get so ready to give up my position on anything because I dont want to be selfish#and because im no better than anyone else#my mom caused some drama on my birthday wrt my sister's family and it led to me not being able to go to the duck#pond on my birthday... which is the only thing i really wanted to do on an otherwise uneventful day#i was meant to feel shame abt it because well we can always go any other day!!! relax!!!#and it is true....!#we can go any other day why did i get upset? its not that serious...nothing is that serious...i feel so guilty + spoiled + selfish#i just felt humiliated for wanting to go in the first place. and for getting upset that we couldnt go. like a toddler.#*not that i actually get Toddler Level upset...but it always Feels like i did...ykwim#i just dont understand......idk if i can Repair this....
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gcnnerpaxton · 4 years
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bri again making a terrible decision. do i need a fourth? no.......... bt here we are anyway. after this i promise im done fr a while bt :/ i lov this lil bitch so here we are........ give this a like if u wld b Down to Clown w him aka plot!
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「axel auriant & cismale」⇾ paxton , gunner, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a leo and 22 years old. he is studying film, living off campus and can be loyal, resilient, anxious & indifferent. when i see him i am reminded of curling up in bed for days in a hello kitty comfort shirt, the click of a camera shutter & hand-me-down’s two sizes too big.
pinterest is HERE.
TW’S FOR ABUSE, VIOLENCE, MISSING CHILD, KIDNAPPING, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, AND INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA BELOW!
stats.
name: gunner brick paxton.
age: twenty-two.
gender identity: cis-male.
pronouns: he/him.
sexuality: demisexual.
birthday: july 31, 1998.
star sign: leo.
myers-briggs: istj.
year of study: senior.
major: film.
occupation: librarian.
place of birth: laramie, wyoming.
religion: catholic (non-practicing).
background.
neen jst brought in gunner’s older brother so fr those who read elias’ bio u kno tht gunner is the middle paxton child w eli being the oldest n then they have wyatt who is the youngest!!
they lived at the top of a hill in a trailer in a trailer park neighbourhood in laramie, wyoming so to say the least that fucking sucked for everyone involved
the trailer was so small that all 3 boys ended up sharing a room, gunner and wyatt sharing a bunk bed bc they cldnt fit 3 beds into one room it really was every childs nightmare bt they quickly grew used to it tbh
gunner was always more of an artsy child than invested in sports - though he does enjoy baseball and continued even to this day after their dad made him join SOMETHING in middle school - so he never rly earned their father’s respect, but he was always close with his mom since they had the same calm temperament
DEPRESSION/ANXIETY TW - he also gained a list of mental health issues that their mom had as well, including social anxiety and major depressive disorder - DEPRESSION/ANXIETY TW END
VIOLENCE/ABUSE TW - their father always encouraged pretty volatile behaviour and it caused a lot of physical fights and arguments between the brothers when their dad told them the best way to get over it was to start hurting until someone tapped out, it was just a chaotic and pretty abusive household but no one knew and their mom definitely wasn’t going to say anything about it to their dad - VIOLENCE/ABUSE TW END
MISSING CHILD/KIDNAPPING TW - wyatt went missing on a weekend that their parents were gone because of a trip they won, and things just got worse from there
ANXIETY/DEPRESSION TW - high school was really rough for gunner, his anxiety grew worse as time went on that no one found wyatt, their dad grew more hostile towards them, and their mom just grew sicker, it was rare that she would ever leave her room and if she did it was in fits of random energy where she would do something spontaneous and completely unnecessary to their house as a way of coping - MISSING CHILD/KIDNAPPING/ANXIETY/DEPRESSION TW END
the two years that gunner was at home after elias finally left for school were basically torture and as soon as he could, he was falling his brother’s footsteps in getting out of wyoming to go to school at radcliffe
INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA TW -  things are far better now that they’re out of their home situation, but gunner’s going through some more things personally now; the paxton’s were raised in an incredibly religious household, and he’s got some classic Catholic Guilt going on upon realizing that he’s not jst attracted to women n he avoided talking abt it forever/stayed in the closet fr far too long bt he’s sort of come out now in his own way even tho he does still get a bit nervous talking abt it rly - INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA TW END
he’s also ‘dealing’ rn which is frankly funny to think abt bc this man is abt as threatening as a care bear bt money is tight between him and eli all things considering, and with the amount of meds he’s on, plus incredibly frequent doctor’s visits, needing to pay for extra epi-pens, inhalers, etcs. bills add up so he’s cutting back his meds n selling wht he can spare which is . so unhealthy bt thts life in corporate america baybee!
details.
is literally allergic to everything. grass, cats, most fruits, milk, most nuts, bees, latex, probably more i cnt even keep up w them its pathetic
u can catch him n eli strutting around campus w matching epipen holders tht he got them fr eli’s 16th bday JKSDNGKLHSDGLK
if things cldnt get worse he also has quite intense asthma so he carries an inhaler with him at all times
n to make matters even WORSE he frequently has dizzy spells n bad memory problems bc of all the concussions he’s suffered from (about 8-9 at this point) as well as consistent migraines that can b literally debilitating sometimes
awkward n jst a bit of a Weirdo to b frank like if it weren’t fr eli he wld probably have one (1) friend he jst cnt converse w ppl
didnt have any friends in high school so took the time to teach himself rly weird things, knows a fuck ton of magic tricks, can yodel, juggle, solve a rubix cube with his eyes closed in under 2 minutes, just extremely weird and specific things
can honestly b a bit mean/barbaric to ppl he’s not close w/doesn’t kno has told ppl to their face before he doesn’t enjoy talking to them bc he has no concept of social constructs/norms
loves 2 film random things at parties, makes him feel more comfortable at them n he makes short films of them all after
update about his summer away: ended up heading to nyc fr a film internship n actually had a rly good time??? fr once?? jst had a rly nice summer fling after being a bit heartbroken throughout the school year it was jst a rly necessary n fulfilling summer fr him king of getting wht he finally deserves
this also led him to b like . oh maybe i’m Not broken bc he doesn’t realize........... demisexuality is a thing n wld get rly awkward during hookups a lot if hes jst not 100% comfortable w the person so now he thinks hes like a one man machine who actually has some Self Esteem n thinks he can have Sexual Relations all day every day (he cannot)
connections.
ppl who buy off him?? probs wld have to kno him some way hes too scared to sell to Random randoms KJSHDGKLHSDLG
other film majors :-)
some friends………. hes awkward bt he means well…………
a mans he wld Risk It All fr (aka a guy tht gunner actually has a crush on n is Extra Awkward probs a lil mean to bc hes still New to That)
ppl he has a crush on/unrequited crushes either way wtvr floats ur boat
some enemies tbh much like elias he has a temper n he tends to blow up rarely bt it happens n when it does it actually can b quite scary JKSHDGLHSDG
a muse….. mayhaps?? someone he always wants in his film projects
awkward past hook ups maybe some current ones teehee
anything Ur Heart Desires
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strvwberryblcnde · 4 years
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👫 teddy/lana
send a 👫 and I’ll write four headcanons i have about our muses’ relationship.
ok so. lana has a habit of sharing food as one of her many love languages i think. she jst likes.... giving ppl things even if it means she’ll have less. she’d let a wolf make a meal out of her n eat every last piece if she loved him n she knew he’d feel full. bt of everyone i feel like teddy hs always been the one she does this w most.... like even when they first met in the cafeteria she gave him spoonfuls of her greek yogurt n honey. whenever she’s eating fruit (which is a lot she’s obsessed w strawberries n peaches n grapes n tangerines n oranges) she’ll ALWAYS give him half whether tht’s segmenting up pieces or dividing bites evenly between them n Without Fail it’ll always b half tht she gives him whereas she might give other ppl like.... a bite or a piece or two bt......... it’s rly specific each time tht she gives teddy half. it isn’t even intentional it’s jst like a subconscious thing bt if we were to slide on spectacles n analyse this in an english class fr it’s Meaning then. looks at u then looks away. i think this represents the way tht teddy hs always felt like another half of her. they’re one in the same. in a lot of ways they’re very similar mayb even................ TOO similar n that’s why it’s been sch a fking.... bastard of trying to work things out ever bc they very much hv the same rampant commitment issues n bad timing n fears of never being gd enough. i feel like in the past a guy she ws dating (noncommittally as lana tended to do these things) wld have even noticed this n it would have bugged him a lot just like... how close she was w teddy in general............. n he would’ve one day brought it up in the middle of a fight he’d picked jst cutting away from what they were talking abt to be like. u only ever give me one bite but u would give teddy all of it if he asked u to. tell me i’m wrong. n she’d scoff out a laugh in disbelief looking around like omg...... all this over a fruit...... what are u even sa-- n he’d cut her off n be like. literally tell me i’m wrong lana. n she wouldn’t even b able to after going quiet n rly realising what it was he was actually Saying. he’d storm out. relationship over. icons of always being a little bit in love w each other n not even noticing it until someone else points it out <3
god. sighs dramatically at the idea i jst had. i cn imagine in la verse lana being rly drunk getting bk from a date one time n inevitably it was just some random loser since she’s back to dating Trash in this era bc she just truly cbas trying after her breakup w dom n............. it would be like a parallel to tht one time they’d fallen out over him sleeping w imogen when she ws upset w him bt crawled into his bed drunk at a party just to lie w him for a little while despite everything...... she wld have gone to his instead of hers on some drunken automatic pilot n somehow got into his room n..... she’d clamber in n flop nxt to him n maybe it wld be funny at first if he woke up n was like lana what the fk...... are u doing here.... so disorientated n confused.......... n she’d just be joking initially bt very clearly drunk like making fun of her date talking abt how he kept complimenting his own hair n calling himself a tesla in a sea of prius’ n checking himself out in every window they passed n then the laughter wld slowly trickle off n she’d go kind of quiet fr a moment n maybe teddy wld assume she ws passing out bc she’d drank sm bt after a short silence she’d perk up with a mumble out of nowhere n, barely conscious of what she’s saying, b like “why didn’t u wait for me like u said u would”. n if he was like.............. huh? she’d have her eyes shut n just b murmuring half awake then open them sleepily to look at him n rly quietly be like........ “u promised”. mayb she’d even reach out to gingerly trace his face bt then her wrist wld go slack bc she was rly tired n she’d just wriggle closer n tuck her head to get comfy n be like “warm” then promptly fall asleep. JSGSFKGHFHGKHGSFKH. literally jst jolting him awake w this rarely serious n genuine conversation then passing out. jst the worst fk teddy’s life bet he lay there staring at the ceiling fr so long after tht one <3 lana wouldn’t remember this in the morning either she’d wake up like why am i here........ did we meet up last night............ teddy jst like >_> u crashed here it was nbd.
i picture the first week they moved to LA lana wldn’t have admitted it bt she wld be feeling rly homesick............ radcliffe was very much like the first place she truly felt was her home n she’d miss all of the ppl there n just the general area A Lot............. one night i can see her jst wanting to spend with teddy to have like a sense of familiarity in an unfamiliar city (even if she’s spent a decent amt of time there over the yrs bc of jameson records hving studios etc bt still) n i’m imagining them like. breaking into an indoor swimming complex that her n her friends in high skl used to break into in the summers when they vacationed yrs ago.... maybe lana still has a key cut tht works from a connection she made bk then idk <3 it doesn’t matter <3 n they’d inevitably be drunk n just messing around n splashing each other n doing handstand competitions n all the typical..... fun frivolous childish antics lana n teddy tend to get into whenever they’re around each other.... truly jst transformed into big kids whenever they’re in the other’s company..... inspired a little by this gifset jst in terms of the playing around underwater vibe. anyway. mayb they mostly dry off bt they end up climbing up onto the rooftop after n it’s a baking summer night anyway so it isn’t like they’ll catch a cold being damp bt they share a big fluffy towel n bottle of rum between them huddled overlooking the lights of the city. n maybe somehow it gets onto lana admitting how much she misses home n how it’s kind of weird being here especially bc she’s further from caleb. she’s never been this far from him since he was away in the army n we all kno hw tht turned out. mayb she’d go a bit quiet after saying this bt then i think she’d take his hand w their fingers laced together n she’d rest her head on his shoulder n be like. at least i’ll always have u. it’s like i took a piece of home w me. we’ve always had each other like that. then she’d perk up n lift her head n be like let’s make a deal. i’ll be ur home if u’ll be mine. ok? n make him pinky promise. i dnt think she’d quite consider the sentimentality in tht bt 😔 she nvr rly does she jst says what feels natural without attention paid to the deeper meaning tht motivated it n.... sighs. looks at u then looks away....
this is inspired by tht scene in don’t trust the b in apartment 23 where she’s like “look. that video of me getting rawed by my best friend means the world to me.” KJGFGJKSFHKGHKSFGHKFSHKGSHGK god. inevitably in lana n teddy’s prime when they were literally hooking up 24/7 in earlier college yrs they made.............. a few videos. i mean it’s jst realistic. it’s jst common sense. probably even a feature length film at one point. n i had this idea where bc teddy’s trying to get into acting etc mayb if he gets an agent his agent is like.... do u have any dirt u need to take care of? loose ends to tie up? incriminating files to delete? sex tapes? n if he was like... ya..... mayb his agent wld have asked him to delete them if he still had them on his computer or w.e i mean i kno lana wld n wouldn’t have deleted them she wld have been proud of their work of art...... bt maybe he told lana abt this just laughing abt it n the atmosphere ws lighthearted at first bc she’d find it rly funny too like ommmmggggggg i’m a skeleton in ur closet tht is so fun if u get famous i cld be blasted all over perez hilton that’s kind of sexy..... bt............... mayb she’d as a joke be like. mayb we shld watch it one last time before u delete it. kind of like a funeral service. a goodbye party. sailing out the flaming viking raft n paying our respects u know??? n they were joking bk n forth bt then she’d be like. seriously tho mayb we should? growing more accustomed to the idea actually being a genuine one even tho tht is fking. the WORST idea i have EVER heard in the world like i do NOT know how lana wld think she has the self control to do that bt in her head she’s like. teddy n i are jst best friends now... it’s fine........... we’re open w each other it’s just a bit of fun.......... n then i can imagine if he went along w this it’s like a game of chicken they’re playing w each other where they’re both like fking hell shd we do this.... dnt wna seem like I’M the one tht thinks i can’t handle it........ n it’s some back n forth like nick n jess in new girl where they’re daring each other to have the threeway w the landlord. bt then like not even.... a minute into watching it as they’re both silently holding their breath n crunching popcorn they mde for the occasion (insisting on acting like it ws just a normal movie night) lana wld literally have to be like. slams laptop shut. UMMMM i forgot.... i....... have a very important meeting......... n teddy’s just like. meeting? u don’t have a job... what are u ta-- n she’s like A MEETING A VERY IMPORTANT MEETING...... very blatantly squirming around as she slowly gets up n tries to head fr the door... n teddy’s like.... taking the excuse without much question too like... ya i have to run lines actually i jst remembered gt an audition coming up..... n they’re both like ya haha... maybe some other time.... or maybe just delete it it’s whatever.... anyway we gtg haha... bye.... ttyl...... lana wld literally hv to SPRINT out of there to go home n. deal w how flustered this made her i won’t lie. she bumps into parker n is all flushed in the face n is just like CAN’T TALK BYE n takes off sprinting again like some kind of freak. it’d b a train wreck. i jst think that’d b rly funny tho n dare i say it? it’s canon. 
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wannawrite · 5 years
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not my type
who?: Wanna One’s Ong Seongwoo genre: 🌸 type: bullet point
blog navigator.
University! AU 
you don’t date younger guys
but you just might ;)
thanks for requesting! this was quite difficult to write since I am a child still lol. Do note that Seongwoo is 20 in this work of fiction. ⁃ admin l
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disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners everything that is written here is purely fictional DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERING
~
so,,,your love life 
not that exciting 
in fact, it is facing a drought at the moment 
reality is harsh huh? 
or maybe it is because of your high standards 
1. No younger guys 
2. Must be a nice person 
3. Someone I could foresee marrying 
but none of your blind dates left you impressed
and then there’s this kid from the music block called Ong Seongwoo 
he’s just one of the guys trying to worm his way into your ‘possible boyfriend’ list 
scarily enough, his tactics were working
~
we gon throw this waayyy back when y’all met 
frat parties were never your thing
in fact, f*ck linda and this stupid party, I just want to go home and sleep 
you love your roommate and all but you couldn’t help but curse her out 
after all, she had dragged you to this party thrown by one of the music department frat guys 
and left you stranded 
in a hallway with at least 3 couples passionately making out 
tonight was not your night at all 
you hated the loud, shitty music and the smell of sweat and liquor 
appalling 
but linda was your ride here and there was a slim chance of hailing a cab right now 
you had no choice but to suck it up and rough it out 
Another issue
you needed to finish that essay on sustainable fashion before the 6am deadline 
shit 
gr8 job prof 
all-nighter? 
borrow a laptop from someone and do it now? 
what the hell 
which person would bring a laptop to a frat party? 
unless you can break into one of their rooms and take one??1?1?11
you almost slap yourself at the idea
dumb worried bitch energy 
sis is out of ideas and just wants to graduate be a little empathetic, folks 
you want to sit down on the floor and sink into a puddle of goo 
oh no 
there’s no way you are going to maintain this 3.9 GPA lmaoo
you move to wrestle Linda away from one of the frat guys 
but hollers and cheers stop you
a group of guys block your path as they welcome yet another friend 
but get this! the newcomer has a laptop case in his hands!! 
he appears to have just come from a lecture or meeting 
bUT HE HAS A LAPTOP YAYAYAYAYA
now, all you had to do was to stalk him, suck up to him and steal borrow the device 
sucking up to one of these frat boys was easy 
their brains had been bruised with bud lights so they weren’t the brightest of the bunch 
before you know it, he’s whisked away by his friends and dissolved into the crowd 
crap 
you really, genuinely, wholly, need this laptop 
They would help a fellow college student in need, right?
left with no choice, you elbow your way through  
I suppose your efforts pay off 
bc you catch him as he’s headed upstairs 
barely 
“hey!” you yell over the noise. “I-I...” 
the mystery guy only stares, quizzically 
suddenly, you’ve lost all ability to form coherent sentences 
this is embarrassing!
hE JUST LOOKING 
sis gotta calm down 
remember the real reason: laptop
“c-can i borrow your laptop real quick? I have a d-deadline tonight” 
mystery boy says nothing 
...
“What’s it in for me? If i lend you my laptop?”
he tries to remain serious but the corners of his mouth are tugging up
sneaky
desperation is pretty much flooding your body 
you wld say f*ck it but you can’t 
“I’ll owe you a favour!” you blurt out thoughtlessly. 
*crickets chirping* 
hope is slowly beginning to fade and your brain is coming up with extension excuses 
just crumbs,,,anything
Orbits gg thru with the drought
when he goes 
“okay”
JESUS THANK YOU 
he beckons for you to follow him 
oh?😏😉
“I know a better work environment than here.” 
oh. 
“What’s your name? I’m y/n, it’s my third year.” 
“Woah, third year? my name’s ong seongwoo. I just got here.” 
huh, freshman 
seongwoo doesn’t say much after
he leads you to a common study area in the enormous fraternity house 
you turn away as he sets up the laptop and everything bc privacy!!!
but the number of brain cells you have left won’t allow you to remember his login details anyway 
“thanks,” you murmur bashfully 
well, this is an expected and rather awkward situation 
seongwoo plants himself in the chair a few seats away from yours 
he pulls out study materials from his backpack 
??? hello? sis, u shld be enjoying the party downstairs ???
you try to shift your fullest attention on your project 
but!! his presence alone is so loud prominent, it’s giving you a hard time keeping your eyes off😔🤧
anyway u manage to suck it up and finish paper and submit it just in time! 
a miracle 
maybe he is your angel ;)
you turn to face him and,,,seongwoo has fallen asleep!! on his books!! 
his hair is slightly tousled and his glasses rest askew on his face 
papers flap in his face but he’s too gone to care 
the poor child is tired 
💓💖💕soft hours💕💖💓: open
gently, you tap his shoulder 
“seongwoo? hey, um, your laptop,” 
he only stirs the 2nd time you call him
Cute
groggily, he covers his face and speaks into his hands 
he mumbles something about ‘dealing with it later’
you figure it would be best if you left him alone to nap 
suddenly, seongwoo grabs your arm 
at least, he reaches for it
“I need your number to claim that favour.” 
my number ????
for half a second, your heart does pitter patters 
he’s only being objective though...
and it was you who suggested it in the first place 
sighing, you punch your number into his phone 
“okay, but use it wisely and...try not to...call or text so much...”
that sounds rlly mean >:( 
“yeah i’ll keep that in mind.” 
there’s an underlying layer of...cheekiness? in seongwoo’s tone 
your brain jumps to the first conclusion it can think of 
“I don’t date younger guys, Seongwoo,” 
rEGRET FILLS YOUR ENTIRE BEING IMMEDIATELY AFTER 
now, Seongwoo looks up and beams broadly 
“Bold of you to assume I’m interested,” he taunts playfully 
red sinks into your face and you defend yourself in splutters 
“I’m not interested in general! I’m prioritising my studies and everything else! It was just to make sure you know where we stand-“ 
futile, really 
“relax,” he replies. “Just saying, I could change your mind.” 
Cocky 
but true lol
an amused scoff leave your lips and your arms go akimbo
“I’d like to see you try, freshman.” 
~
*back to the present* 
You: really, Seongwoo. I don’t see why you can’t drop by the printing station yourself 
Seongwoo: you are seated RIGHT NEXT to it. Just fold the papers into aeroplanes and fly them over 
You: a 15-page research paper ?? That clearly says ‘do not bend’ 
Seongwoo: ignore it. Throw it over 
you never predicted this was where life would take you 
here you were, sat in the library, the table by the printing room 
and Seongwoo was seated a few tables away, texting you to collect his freshly printed document
just because 
You: Oh my god shut up you’ll get points deducted if your paper is the least bit crumpled 
You: i’ll just bring it over 
so,,,you did 
you brought seongwoo’s papers over to his table 
he had been watching from afar, lips pulled into a dumb smile
“thank you, senior.” 
boy had the audacity to say that in front of your salad 
just to tease him, you reply: 
“yeah, senior, just how I like my future boyfriend.” 
with that remark, the smile slips off seongwoo’s face and his jaw clenches
but he tries to play it off all cool😎🤧
you shoot the sweetest smile you can muster before skipping back to your table 
*beep beep*
I nearly put vibrate -
Seongwoo: that doesn’t count as using my favour card! 
your head shakes, but your mouth smiles 
it was no secret that seongwoo had a small! crush on you 
even if it was, everyone knew 
his whole frat and most of his seniors 
your friends and roommates 
the whole bloody campus 
this relationship started out with seongwoo following you on ig
then occasionally dropping a text and wishing you well 
he also hyped up all your pics 
and said hi whenever you bumped into each other 
it escalated to meeting up for brunch or a movie 
just...as friends, casually 
but you enjoyed his company and goofing around much more than some blind dates 
now, texting him was a regular 
going out was common 
and you haven’t even counted the number of times you guys met at social events 
sometimes, he made you feel so✨ special, precious, wanted by doing the smallest things 
like a tea on your table 
or going the extra mile to cheer you up 
most of the time at the expense of his handsome face 
he was always,,,there
you did find out about his feelings, though he never addressed them fully
it was fun!! to press his buttons as a friend 
“yeah idk abt dating someone younger. Wbu?” 
“Hmm. Senior year makes everyone 10x hotter.” 
thOSE WERE JOKES 
BANTER, PEOPLE, BANTER 
but...you weren’t certain if that would turn into something more 
you know, you hadn’t given dating someone younger a thought 
it never crossed your mind 
maybe it was a subconscious deal breaker 
you were always quick to bring age into making deals 
old broken deals could be made new 
the concept was incredibly foreign 
my boyfriend? younger? 
Personally, you could never see that happen 
b-but seongwoo made you sO DAMN HAPPY ALL THE TIME 
there was sunshine in his smiles
and starlight in his eyes 
ᵕ꒳ᵕ
uGh fEELINGS 
but is this attraction? 
Eventually, after many sleepless nights, up thinking about this, you made up your mind
If he made a move first, 
bc ur scared 
you would be hella open to dating him 
f*ck that ‘older people only’ rule 
(⁄˘⁄ ⁄ ω⁄ ⁄ ˘⁄)♡
[3.06am] seongwoo leaves a voicemail. He says, “hey, will you go on a date with me? I like you.”
[3.14am] seongwoo leaves another voicemail. “I’ll use my favour card if I have to. Just give me a chance.” 
anD HOLY F*CK YOU DON’T knOW HOW TO ACT AFTER HEARING THOSE 
RIGHT WHEN YOU WAKE UP 
yOur heaRT IS FLUTTERING AND YOU CAN FEEL THE BLUSH COMING 
UGH SWEETHEART YOU GOT IT BAD 
so u jump on this bandwagon and call him asap 
it goes straight to voicemail but you don’t leave one 
hehe
you know,,,to build suspense 
all day long, that’s all you can think about 
SeoNGWOO LIKES ME?
~
[8.17am] seongwoo wakes up to a silent voicemail from you 
he doesn’t know what to think of it 
he dials your number with shaking hands and before you can utter a word, he rushes, “meet me at xxx cafe at 11am” 
then hangs up 
Tumblr: 101 cafe date outfit ideas
Seongwoo arrives early and orders a drink while waiting 
he also picks out a window booth to sit at 
his nerves could eat him alive if they teamed up 
what would you say to him? 
how badly did you react to his 3am confession 
getting mildly intoxicated on Daniel’s stash was a horrible idea
he spilt all his secret uwus
the bell chimes 
and all his attention is focused on you 
your eyes land on him 
a smile graces your face as you walk over 
“I like you too.” 
“Damn, you better not be messing with me right now,” seongwoo nervously chuckles. “I know I sent you th-“ 
“Oh my god! I like you!” 
For a moment, his smart mouth runs dry, surprised 
“Oh wow, what happened to your older guys only rule?”
You smack his chest in mock annoyance
“Rules are made to be broken! Let’s not talk about that.” You turn various shades of red 
Grinning like the Chesire cat, Seongwoo teases, “And that’s the beauty of it.” 
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