#then acts like she’s completely supportive and nonjudgmental
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&&. ( scout marie whitmore ), the ( 25 ) year old ( daughter ) of the president of ( the united states ). she is often confused with ( zoey deutch ). some say that she is ( sarcastic & indolent ), but she is ( nonjudgmental & affable ).
scout was 100% named after scout finch from to kill a mockingbird, and it might be the only thing she’d thank her mother for because she loves her name. her mom probably had the all-americanness of it in mind -- thinking politically before she even got into politics -- but scout just likes the way it sounds.
she was really young when her mom decided to become a full time snake, so it’s all scout remembers her being. at first she was raised very carefully, following her mother’s instructions to the letter, but scout’s always had a sense of humor and absolutely no patience, so it didn’t take much for her to step outside the confines of her designated area. she started acting out pretty early on but in harmless ways, like talking too much in class, asking too many questions, not listening. totally innocuous, but it was enough for her mom to give up on her quickly, especially after her younger sister came along.
scout’s her brother’s biggest fan, so as parker got older and started to take the right steps in their mother’s eyes, one day scout resolved to follow them. she was young and unable to fully understand why her mother was never warm with her, why she never seemed to want to spend time with her. back then, the solution seemed clear: parker did what their mother wanted, and she paid attention to him. if scout did what she wanted, she’d pay attention to her too. so she got into ballet (which she was awful at), learned how to play piano, went to an all-girls boarding school in upstate new york. for a while, she suppressed the wilder parts of herself, only allowing them to come out with her siblings and very close friends.
when their mom outed her own son to help her campaign, scout realized that all of her attempts to fit the family mold were complete bullshit. nothing she or either of her siblings did would ever be seen as anything but opportunities. opportunities to paint a prettier picture of the perfect american family, to gain social status, to win an election. the realization led to her to completely resent her mother and their relationship. her mother would never love her for what she was or what she tried to be. there was no way she could win.
so she dropped ballet and piano, studied computer science at stanford instead of political science or international relations, played club softball, acted like a normal american college student. she learned how to leverage the family’s publicity in her favor; her mother couldn’t really complain publicly, because what was so wrong about her daughter studying computer science or trying to get the full college experience? they were in america, after all, where everyone should have the same opportunities and freedom of choice. the nation’s leaders and their families should be a prime example of that. as long as she wasn’t completely acting out, there was a lot she could get away with.
after college, scout moved to new york city and quickly got a job as a game designer. in russian doll, natasha lyonne’s character has a really chill job designing cool video games. she talks back to her bosses and works from home a lot and the job’s essentially an afterthought for her. that’s the kind of job scout got. and she just sort of plateaued there. she loved the city and she liked her work, so why do anything else? she still had a security detail with her most of the time, but she actually became friends with them so she ended up not minding too much. occasionally she was also flown out for events the entire family had to go to, but learned to just grin and bear it.
the catalyst for her leaving the states and ending up in phuket with parker was her mother breaking the strange stalemate they’d always found themselves in over the years. when she was asked about her children during a tv interview, she said that she “wished scout would think about the family more” and that she “respected her freedom but worried about how she was using it,” playing the part of a concerned mother and painting scout, who the public really knew little about, as an ungrateful hedonist. scout completely snapped, flying to dc for an exhausting argument with her mother before she packed quickly and left the country to join parker in thailand.
personality/etc.
scout’s icon is zoey eating a piece of pizza and holding a minion and a bottle of wine in one hand, and that’s scout’s whole energy in one photo
she’s sarcastic, she uses a lot of hyperbole, she talks way too fast, and she probably makes a minimum of five pop culture references per conversation
has a filter but just choses not to use it very often
absolutely foul-mouthed
knows how to make her own fun if she can’t find any
loves! her! siblings! they can literally do no wrong in her eyes
loves baseball and is a yankees fan bc 1) i’m a yankees fan and 2) there are resources of her in yankees gear lol
has a very loose grasp on the concept of responsibility
is capable of real success but is also repelled by it. she doesn’t want any of her success to reflect well on her mom, so she settles for mediocrity a lot of the time
the chillest out there. come do nothing with her
meme queen
gets angry easily but either shrugs it off or deflects it with humor
doesn’t understand decorum or formalities
big fan of giving up when the going gets tough
also this
&&. is that ( zoey deutch ) ?? no, it’s just ( scout marie whitmore ). she is a ( first daughter ) from ( the united states ). she is ( 25 ) years old and her birthday is the ( 2nd ) of ( december ) which makes her a ( sagittarius ). she is ( nonjudgmental & affable ) and ( placid & experimental ) but, unfortunately, also ( sarcastic & indolent ). those traits just make her a ( gryffindor ) and in scientific terms an ( esfp ). she is ( heterosexual ) and the plaza’s ( icarian ). her theme song is ( dollar ) by ( electric guest ). her interests include ( baseball & coding ). she practices ( agnosticism ) and is a supporter of ( the democratic party ). her quirk is ( talking too fast ) and favourite quote is ( with all due respect, i am gonna completely ignore everything you just said ) from ( brooklyn nine nine ) because ( she’s basically jake peralta ). last but not least she ( does ) believe in true love.
if you made it all the way down here you get a hug and a cookie
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Close Enough to Start a War (part two)
@ichlugebulletsandcornnuts knows what’s up. i know the first part had a precarious cliffhanger so here’s the resolution.
[part one]
[Part 2: Next Time I’ll Be Braver]
parr immediately hands jane a paper towel to catch the blood that leaks from her nose. jane half-smiles gratefully, before turning her attention to look upstairs.
"i can't believe people think that about her..." she trails off, then looks around at her bandmates. "about all of us."
"they're all wrong," boleyn chips in. "every single one who thinks anything like what he just said."
parr nods in agreement. "really, i'd like to know who wrote those books about us that said things like-"
she's cut off by a thump from upstairs, followed by eerie silence.
there’s a brief moment before everybody collectively understands, and then they all race up the stairs as fast as they can.
“kat?” jane calls, trying the door handle with one hand, the other still holding the tissue to her nose. “kat, can you hear me?” the door won’t open and there’s only silence from the other side. she turns to the others, eyes terrified. “the door’s locked.”
“let me,” boleyn says hurriedly, yanking a hairpin from her own hair. she twists it and pushes the end into the lock, and aragon stares at her disbelievingly.
“now’s not the time for jokes, boleyn!”
“i’m not joking,” boleyn says, not looking up. “i’d never joke when howard might be in danger.”
“you know how to pick a lock?” parr asks, and boleyn nods.
“after jane collapsed in the bathroom and we couldn’t open the door, i thought it might be something good to learn.” she twists the pin a few more times and lets out a quiet curse. “we’ll just have to hope it’s a shitty lock- there.” there’s a satisfying click as the door unlocks and boleyn takes back, looking incredibly relieved that she managed to do it.
jane throws the door open and nearly bursts into tears right there.
katherine, her darling, sweet girl, was propped against the wall, eyes half-lidded and completely slack. jane hates that she knows exactly what happened, since it had happened once before.
“kitty-kat,” she breathes, rushing over to the girl. she gently shakes her, hoping that, if she was quick enough, katherine would come back to.
unfortunately, she was incorrect, and katherine stayed out.
“i’m gonna call an ambulance,” cleves announces, grabbing her phone. jane doesn’t look up, focused on katherine.
“kitty-kat, it’s me, it’s mum.” she brings her hands up to katherine’s face and starts patting her cheeks, trying to bring her round without hitting hard enough to hurt. “can you hear me, kat? please, wake up!”
katherine remains blank and unresponsive and tears spring in jane’s eyes. “sweetheart,” she chokes out, “please, please, it’s mum. please hear me.”
parr, in an act of pity, comes over and gently pulls jane away from katherine. “she’s not nearly conscious enough, jane,” parr says quietly, attempting to be soothing.
jane struggles against her. “i can get her back!” she protests. “i know i can!”
parr reluctantly lets go.
jane immediately goes back to katherine, lightly tugging on her shoulders to lay her on her back, then taps her cheeks, lightly but desperately. if katherine woke up in the emergency room, the conversation they absolutely needed to have would be that much harder.
luckily, amazingly, jane thanks very star as katherine’s eyes slowly open, coming back to faintly focus on jane and her bloody nose.
katherine makes a confused sound before her eyes focus on the blood and she gasps. she tries to sit up suddenly but her body isn’t prepared for it and she jolts back down almost immediately.
“mum,” she croaks out, “mum, your nose-”
jane can almost see the realisation hit katherine and her face goes even paler somehow, ashen features turning horrified. she lets out a quiet whimper and closes her eyes, unable to move from the floor.
“shh, love,” jane soothes. “it’s just a bloody nose, no harm done.” she sits down, pulling katherine’s head into her lap. “what he said isn’t true,” she whispers gently. “no one will believe him.”
katherine whimpers at memory of redbridge’s words. “why wouldn’t they? he’s a professor,” she spits spitefully. “he’s the expert.”
her face suddenly screws up in worry. “what if people won’t want to hear my side of the story any more? what if they-” she sniffles quietly, “what if they don’t believe me?”
“i think you should take a look at this,” parr says quietly from behind jane. she hands jane her phone. it was open on twitter, where the hashtag for the documentary had been searched, and jane scans her eyes over the tweets.
“absolutely disgraceful documentary,” one tweet reads. “the queens were so much more than what he said.”
another says: “@stevenredbrige should be ashamed. @kathoward wasn’t to blame for anything 😡”
tweet after tweet showed support from the queens’ fans, calling the documentary out for its utter lies. there were even some tweets from well-respected historians correcting every falsehood from the documentary.
katherine rereads the words on the screen several times, almost not believing it was true.
“see, love?” jane asks gently, nonjudgmentally. “people believe us. they know it was all lies.” she leans down slightly closer. “they know it wasn’t your fault.”
katherine bursts into tears, burying her face in jane’s lap. she can only splutter forth various syllables of “i didn’t want it,” and “why did it happen?”
jane can only run loving fingers through her hair and let her cry, not having any answers to give.
katherine eventually cries herself out to near exhaustion, jane’s hand in her hair helping somewhat to soothe her. she lays there, numb and drained, barely hearing anything that’s going on around her and focusing only on the rhythmic movement of jane’s fingertips against the back of her head. jane looks up at the others, sadness giving way to anger.
“i don’t understand how he can go on tv and say those things,” she says hoarsely. “she was just a child.” a lump grows in her throat as she looks down at katherine laying in her lap.
parr and aragon nod solemnly. boleyn watches katherine and jane curiously. she watches the slow and repetitive movements of jane’s fingers in katherine’s hair, noting the way katherine seems to calm ever so slightly with each movement.
embarrassment flushed through her again as she looks down at her hands, her eyes finding base of her hand where her ‘sixth finger’ sits, mocking her.
“i was no witch,” she mumbles, before slipping out of the room and going back downstairs, leaving parr and aragon with jane and katherine.
she passes cleves on the stairs going in the opposite direction, and then finds herself back in the living room staring at the now blank tv. despite the screen not showing anything, boleyn can almost see redbridge sitting there, mocking her. she throws herself onto the couch with a huff.
there’s a small part of boleyn’s mind that, as much as she hates to admit it, slightly resents her cousin. okay, that’s not fair. it’s not katherine she resents; she loves katherine to pieces and she could never resent her. it’s just... she gets it, she understands that things were really hard for katherine, and they still are, and hearing all those lies about kat’s past was horrible enough for boleyn to hear, let alone kat herself. but it hadn’t been all sunshine and roses for boleyn either, and there was only so much attention and concern the others could have for her when katherine was having her own problems.
boleyn groans and shoves her face into a cushion. she shouldn’t be thinking like this, shouldn’t be jealous of the comfort katherine was getting when her cousin had literally passed out from the stress of it. besides, boleyn didn’t talk about her problems. she was the fun one, the kooky jokester who brushed everything off. that was her, right?
she can hear quiet voices from upstairs - jane sounding calm and kind like always. boleyn’s heart aches; she needs someone like jane to be there for her like she always is for katherine.
she sits on the couch, stone silent, for a long time. even as the other queens come and go for the evening, she pretends she’s fine even though she couldn’t be more awful.
she doesn’t try to sleep, she knows it wouldn’t work. night terrors plague her as often as they do katherine. she just doesn’t make the fuss.
it’s past midnight and she’s still sitting on the couch, house dark and quiet, when she hears footsteps and that kind, calm voice.
“what are you still doing up?”
boleyn turns suddenly, throwing a careless smile onto her face and pitching her voice just high enough to hopefully seem not as miserable as she felt.
“hey! i’m just, you know...” she trails off as she desperately tries to think of a good enough excuse. her brain appears to want to fail her today, and her mind is utterly blank. “...chilling,” she finishes, slightly lamely.
jane frowns at her. “i know that’s not true,” she counters. “what’s up?” she crosses to the couch, sitting down beside her. “you can talk to me, love.” the term of endearment slips out absentmindedly, as if jane was talking to katherine. ‘boleyn’ just seemed to formal. “you’ve been off since this afternoon, don’t think i didn’t notice.”
“off?” boleyn waves a hand, making a dismissive noise. “i’m not off.” jane just keeps looking at her, those kind eyes catching her off-guard, and boleyn finds her facade crumbling.
“well, it’s just, y’know,” she shrugs. “that documentary said some nasty stuff about all of us. i’m sure we’re all kinda freaked by it.”
“would you like to talk about it, love?” jane asks her softly, calmly, so as not to push her. she could tell boleyn had a defence mechanism in place, and if she could carefully disarm it then boleyn might talk to jane and share what was on her mind. she could hazard a guess, though; they all knew about boleyn’s insecurities about her hand, as much as she tried to hide it.
boleyn gives a shrug. “it’s stupid.” she sighs. “i know what he said isn’t true but it just stings, you know?”
jane nods silently, allowing boleyn to continue.
she considers for a long, quiet moment if she wants to explain. jane seems so caring, wanting to help her through it, but she’s just so afraid of being mocked and told off for what she feels, for showing any semblance of personality that isn’t carefree and fun, that it’s nearly impossible.
but then she sees jane’s face, imploring and caring, and she looks down at her hands in her lap again.
“i’m not a witch,” she mutters, tears pooling in her eyes.
“oh, love,” jane says, and her voice is so free of judgement that it makes the tears start to fall from boleyn’s eyes. “that was really horrible of him to say.”
having that thought reaffirmed by somebody else weirdly feels... almost good. it reassures boleyn that she wasn’t overreacting by being hurt by it, that she was allowed to have feelings about it. and then jane wraps her in a soft hug and boleyn finally gives in to her emotions in a way she hadn’t done for a long long time, sobbing into jane’s shoulder.
she clings to jane, almost embarrassingly so in her eyes. she can’t stop the tears as they pour down her cheeks, warm and raw. it reminds her of her past life, in a weird way, the night before she died. she felt the same - ungodly alone, scared, and regretful.
she feels jane’s hand slip upward and gently remove her hair from the messy bun it was half-confined to, letting it spill down, then beginning to lightly run her fingers through it.
“it’s alright, love,” jane whispers. “you’re okay now.”
boleyn’s thoughts mangle in her head,redbridge’s words twisting with her own lines from the show. even as her tears begin to subside on their own, her brain doesn’t clear.
she awkwardly pulls away from jane. her mouth fails to form words, so she simply tugs at the collar of her t-shirt, revealing crisscrossing red scratch marks around the base of her neck. “i have night terrors too,” she mumbles. “wondering if my head is still attached to my shoulders.”
“oh, love, i’m so sorry,” jane says, and she takes boleyn’s free hand in hers. she rubs her thumb in slow, soothing circles on the back of boleyn’s hand, and it reassures her that she can keep talking.
“sometimes I...” boleyn swallows. “sometimes i dream about henry on the day he had me arrested, and he has the guards chase me through the palace and then drags me before him, and he-” she cuts off her words and blinks back a fresh wave of tears. “he laughs. and then, other times i dream about elizabeth.”
that made jane pause. boleyn didn’t mention elizabeth very often, to the point that the other queens sometimes forgot she had even been a mother. the way boleyn speaks, however, is incredibly familiar, something jane had seen over and over again in her own mind when she thought about edward.
“i just wonder,” boleyn says quietly, “who explained it to her. who sat her down and told her that mummy is never coming back, that she’d never get a hug from me again.” she gives a dry half-laugh. “and i suppose she lost her father that day, too. it’s not like he cared about her after that.”
jane feels a sting at that. elizabeth that only been a tender two when anne had been executed. jane herself had forged a close bond with mary, then both girls were long forgotten when jane had edward.
“i looked after her the best i could,” jane says quietly, hoping to help boleyn feel better. “i wasn’t there for long enough to really do all that much, though.”
boleyn shrugs again. “i appreciate it,” she says half-heartedly. her hands pull back to lightly rest against her stomach. “elizabeth was lucky, at least,” she says softly, looking blankly downward.
“lucky about what-“ jane cuts off with a sharp inhale as the answer to her question appears in the form of boleyn’s famous ‘i had three miscarriages!’ line from the show, and her heart breaks just that much more.
“yeah,” boleyn says hollowly. she shifts slightly, hand unconsciously forming a fist. “at least she got to grow up.” she stares down at her lap. “at least she has a legacy as one of the most famous queens of all time, without some man in her way. and by god, i am so proud of her.” her tone turns darker. “i just wish i could have been there for her. i wish she could have had more siblings, I wish-” she closes her eyes. “I wish for so many things. but then I wake up, and i’m here, and little bess with her red hair and the cutest smile you’ve ever seen, she’s long gone.” she opens her eyes again, and it’s like she suddenly realises what she’s doing. “i’m sorry, i don’t know why i’m telling you all this.”
jane gives her a soft, thoughtful smile. she reaches out and takes her hand, gently uncurling the fist it was tightly bound into.
“it’s alright, love,” she says, “you needed to get it out.” she sighs, her confident and maternal facade slipping slightly. “i understand how it feels, darling. knowing your child is long passed, but you’re still here, knowing they did wonderful things in their lives that you can only read about in a history book.” she squeezes her hand and drops her voice again. “and you are allowed to feel things, anne,” she continues. she brings her free hand up to rest on boleyn’s cheek. “you’re allowed to feel all the anger and sadness and unfairness you want. you deserve that much.”
“i don’t want to drag everyone down with negativity,” boleyn shrugs slightly. jane rubs her thumb against boleyn’s cheekbone gently.
“you’re not ‘dragging anyone down’ by talking about your feelings. you’re human, anne, and humans feel all kinds of emotions. bottling them up won’t help, love. i promise you, nobody is going to think less of you because you feel things.”
anne gives an embarrassed half-smile, and jane can feel her cheek warm beneath her hand. “i should hope not, she says quietly with a little laugh, but jane can sense the sensation in the statement.
“do you think you’re ready to try and sleep now?” she asks.
boleyn shrugs. “i guess.”
she allows jane to lead her upstairs and into her bedroom. boleyn gets herself comfortable, jane watching from a safe distance, before coming over. “sweet dreams, love,” she says softly. without thinking, she leans over and lightly kisses anne’s forehead.
it’s a surprise, the forehead kiss, but not an unwelcome one. in fact, it actually makes boleyn feel safe, and slightly less alone than she normally felt when she went to bed.
“goodnight, jane,” she mumbles back, cheeks flushing slightly. “and, uh, you too. sweet dreams.”
jane smiles softly at her, before retreating to the door and switching the light off. she closes the door behind her and boleyn finds herself smiling slightly in the darkness. she draws the blankets around her fully and closes her eyes.
jane lets the door close and sighs quietly. then she smiles.
as she walks back to her own room, she finds herself reflecting.
katherine needed a mother, that much was clear. ever since the moment they met, jane saw that katherine needed someone to look out for her and love her unconditionally despite her past.
boleyn needed a friend, a sister. someone to confide in and not fear judgement from and help her sort out her feelings.
jane decides as she climbs into her own bed that she’s very content to be both, thank you very much.
#six the musical#six musical#jane seymour#katherine howard#anne boleyn#julie and jess write#close enough to start a war
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1-6!
More Muse Questions || Accepting
1: What kind of childhood did he or she have?
{For Archer internally, growing up was punctuated by a varying degree of difficulty and adaptation. First were the early, initial struggles with being very obviously different and unfeeling compared to anyone else around him, then came the more difficult stages of trying to adapt to his surroundings by learning how to look and act like everyone else, and finally the easier times when he finally figured out the best way to appease the expectations of (and thus manipulate and control) others.
{On the outside, he had a fairly good childhood. From supportive, loving parents who worked middle-class jobs that could provide their son with nearly every extracurricular activities, hobbies, and lessons he could want to friends who fawned and fell over him for his flattering, nonjudgmental attitude, he wanted for little and had no major conflicts in his early life. His parents were concerned about his distant, uncaring behavior as a child, but when he seemed to grow out of it as he started high school, they chalked it up to an awkward phase and left it alone.}
2: What's their profession and how did they get there?
{Publicly, he is a former scientist of Silph, who left the company under concerns of his work being used and exploited by Team Rocket. In Johto, his public profession is as the CEO of the upcoming Goldenrod City Game Corner. He came to work for Silph as part of a degree program offered by a Japanese university that paid for his schooling in exchange for him working for a Japanese company for a number of years. He poured the last of Rocket’s financial means into the construction of the Game Corner so that once it was completed, it would go on to fund other projects and necessities.}
3: How do they deal with conflict and change?
{Poorly. In all things involving conflict, he is an arrogant, belittling prick. When he loses or an exchange goes differently than he anticipates, he often loses his temper and lashes out. He deals with change with slightly more grace and poise, but change often leads to conflict of some kind.}
4: What is their favourite place to be and how would they describe it?
{In the lab. It’s calm, quiet, he has complete control over nearly every variable of what goes on, and what little he doesn’t directly control is what he’s actively trying to cause and study.}
5: Who was their first true love?
{Himself.}
6: What is their deepest regret?
{His loss to Chase/Elaine.}
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Clubbing: ‘I can’t bear the idea that there is an age at which you should stop’ | Music | The Guardian
Nightclubbing is seen as a young person’s game. Sightings of older clubbers – such as the elderly Polish couple who went viral after a night out at London’s Fabric in 2016 – are considered a novelty. But the septuagenarian tourists – who partied until 5am – are not alone.
A recent poll by ticketing platform Eventbrite found that more than 3.7 million Britons aged over 45 go clubbing every week. The nation’s nightlife may not be in rude health overall, but certain DJs, clubs and clubbers have endured. Fabric turned 20 this year, and DJs such as Danny Rampling and Terry Farley are still drawing crowds 30 years on from the summer of love that made their name. From nostalgia nights to dance festivals, older clubbers – such as Mick Jagger, 76, spotted at gay club night Horse Meat Disco earlier this year – are finding their second wind.
Typically, clubbing loses its appeal in our early 30s; 31 is the age at which most give up, according to a 2017 survey. But for those who do keep dancing, it can be much more than just a night out. What starts as an act of teenage transgression becomes radical in middle age. We talked to six older clubbers who refuse to hang up their dancing shoes. Have they still got the moves?
‘It’s like galloping across the universe in a spaceship’
Brett, 70, and Sylvia Van Toen, 69, retirees (above)
Sylvia Our first love is hard house – it attracts a different, much younger crowd. We go to hard house clubs and festivals, after discovering psytrance at Glastonbury in the mid-90s and thinking, “This is it.” The music builds up tension; you’re waiting for this particular tune and then suddenly it drops in and you’re going yes, yes, yes! Then it carries you along. It’s a bit like galloping across the universe in a spaceship.
I got married at 18 and had children young. I was a housewife. I didn’t know a lot about music, I didn’t dance. Brett and I were in our late 30s when we got together. I had two young children and so we decided to live apart, and we’ve kept doing that. We see each other during the week but get excited about going clubbing together on Fridays. It’s like going on a date.
Brett We are very lucky. Many couples we know don’t like the same music. We go clubbing once a fortnight. It’s intense. It’s hard work. The clubs often run from 11pm to early morning. There are more afternoon clubs now, which I love.
If we go to a dance festival, we make as much effort as we can to get sleep. We take a campervan, which is good because parking tends to be away from the main field. We don’t drink alcohol, just water. We don’t do afterparties; that would hurt. We don’t have any plans to retire, though that might change as we age.
It’s a social thing. We went to heavy techno clubs and it was too dark to dance because you couldn’t see what the hell was going on. So that didn’t work for us. Dancing with other people is important. Clubbing has taught me a way of being I don’t think I would have found otherwise. I used to be curmudgeonly but I have learned a lot of acceptance from hanging around young people. There is much to admire about them. They are also complimentary and it’s a lot of fun. It gives you energy.
‘There’s no judgment: it’s utopia’
Roy Brown, 56, songwriter and club host
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I’m a Brummie lad. I went to my first shebeen [unlicensed bar] in Birmingham, aged 13. It was this small venue behind a shop with huge sound systems in dark rooms, pumping with reggae and ska music. Seeing guys and girls dancing really close to each other, the music pounding, the smell of weed, a lightbulb went off in my head. I thought, this is amazing. That’s why I’m still doing it.
I knew the music – reggae, jazz, funk, blues – because that’s what my parents played at home. My parents were Jamaican and every Caribbean house has these family gatherings with music and food and dancing. That warm place they created in their houses is what I’m trying to emulate when I go clubbing: that womb, that happiness. No one can hurt or harm you because you are with like-minded people.
I moved to London at 18 in 1981, where my cousin Claudette introduced me to a group of fashionistas and club kids. They are still my friends. My aunt lived close to a huge club called Bolts. I walked past it one evening and there was a long queue of clones: gay men dressed identically in check shirts and Levi’s 501s. I had the same epiphany as in the shebeen: I saw like-minded people.
Some of Claudette’s friends sussed me out. Juicy (real name Ronald) came up to me and said: “What’s your game then?” They took me to my first gay bar and it was full steam ahead after that. My motivation was really good music. If there were hot guys there, brilliant. Drugs were a huge part of it. The majority of clubbers were white men but the only thing that mattered was that you stuck to the dress code.
I’m still on the clubbing scene. I started out on the door at the central London club Kinky Gerlinky in 1989. Now I’m a host at the Eagle in south London, where I have my own night, Soul on Saturday. I was MC and host for a club in Ibiza a few summers ago. They fly you out Friday morning for Saturday and Sunday night. I thought, can I do this? I am not 19. I’d aged 20 years. But because of the music and the amazing time, I lost 40 more.
I grew up Methodist and clubbing is like going to church. I still go out now if a night is euphoric. It’s human nature to look for something uplifting. There’s no judgment, just inclusivity. It’s my idea of utopia.
‘That moment a beat drops and everyone’s smiling: it’s wicked’
Victoria Saunders, 50, hairdresser
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I still want to go out and listen to good music played loud. But now I’m older, I don’t want to go to a big busy nightclub. I think, I can’t be arsed, actually. You walk in and you’re told you’ve got to queue here or go here if you want to smoke a fag. I’m an adult, I can manage myself.
When I first went clubbing, it was lawless. In 1988, I was 18 and Ibiza was happening, it was the summer of love. That kickstarted it for me. When I went to Houghton dance music festival in Norfolk last year, I saw people from different points in my clubbing career. It’s nice to see people who still have that affinity.
I’ve always been more of an afterparty girl; I prefer it when all the wallies have gone home. I’d rather take my time and go out at about midnight, ease myself in and then hit a dancefloor.
Hairdressers like me are like Vikings; we can just do it. I remember coming home, having two hours’ sleep, then getting up and going to work. Now it shows more, on my face, after a couple of days. I hit Wednesday and I think, oof. But people tell me I look good for my age. I’ve pickled myself. When you’ve had so much fun and such a laugh going out, that also shows.
I go to a club called Pikes in Ibiza, where Wham! shot the video for Club Tropicana. I like to properly lose myself in music – that moment a beat drops and everyone’s smiling because they know it, that feeling of oneness: it’s wicked.
I was at a house party recently and my friend was up dancing. She said, “If I don’t do this now, I’ll be dancing in the aisles of Tesco.” It’s rare to find those moments as you get older, but 30 years of clubbing means it’s something that’s deep in you. You hear good music and you just want to dance.
‘After we scattered my stepdad’s ashes, I needed to get to Horse Meat Disco’
Amanda Freeman, 56, music publicist
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I’m straight, but I prefer gay clubbing. It started in the early 2000s, when I went to places such as the Joiners Arms in east London with gay friends. It was a completely different world.
My friend Dan opened a gay bar in east London, Dalston Superstore, in 2009; by then I had been single a long time. It was a nonjudgmental space. There was no stigma attached to being a woman of my age as there could be in a straight environment; at a straight club, I’d be lucky if they let me in.
I’ve had a couple of difficult years. My mother has multiple sclerosis and my stepfather had dementia. I’m an only child, so I’ve been juggling all of this. My stepfather died in March. The weekend we scattered his ashes, I remember thinking, when I get home I’m going out to Horse Meat Disco. If I’ve been through a tough time, going out is the way to put myself back on track.
A lot of the younger people I’ve met out clubbing have been incredibly supportive. Not to say that my older friends haven’t, but they have kids and their own stuff going on. It seems easier for millennials to make those approaches, to ask me how my mum is doing, how I am. I’ve been hugely grateful for that.
I am happy to go out on my own, which is empowering. I can go to regular places and see people I know, or chat to people I’ve not met before. The music is important. My nickname is Lady D’Amanda because I’m very forward about asking the DJ for certain tracks. I’m first on the dancefloor and get people to dance with me. It’s always done in a joyful way.
I can’t bear the idea that there is an age at which you should stop. I feel more comfortable in my 50s than I did in my 40s. I chose not to be in a relationship and nobody in this community has ever questioned that. They admire people who have ploughed their own furrow, and a club night was held in my honour in January.
I hope I am an ally. I’m a music publicist and I am always available if LGBTQ artists or acts want help or advice. I’ve suddenly acquired a tribe: the community is made up of many different people, ages and persuasions. It doesn’t matter. It’s about what you bring to it. It’s a small world but it’s a really important one to me. A doorman once said to me, “You’re an icon”. That’s a lovely thing to be.
‘Drugs aren’t my thing. Someone asked what I’d had and I showed them my sandwich’
Suddi Raval, 49, music technology teacher
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Acid house took over my life at 15, in 1986. The music was on the radio. Smiley faces – the acid house symbol – popped up on the news. House music has melodies and basslines but acid house was abstract, bendy, weird. It was like music from another world. It just grabbed my attention.
There was a week that changed my life. I was walking down the street in my home town, Ashton-under-Lyne. I was too young to go out but I dressed as if I was on the acid house scene: long hippy hair, a jumper by French brand Chipie. This guy called Kelvin came up to me. He could tell from my clothes that I was into that music and said: “You need to go to the Hacienda and the Blackburn raves warehouse parties.” I said: “I’d love to but I wouldn’t know how.” He said he’d take me, and he did.
I couldn’t believe it when I set foot in the Hacienda in Manchester. There were a couple of thousand people as into it as I was. I didn’t know everyone was off their heads, drugs were not my thing. One time at the raves, someone asked what I’d had. I didn’t know they meant drugs. I reached into my bag and pulled out my butty box, a pile of cheese and ham sandwiches and a can of Coke – you can’t dance all night on an empty stomach.
The only nights I wouldn’t go to the Hacienda were when it was closed. I’ve never stopped. As I get older, young people think I am either the DJ, a promoter or a drug dealer. I’m usually the only brown face in a club. I’ve always been in a minority; there were so few Indian, Pakistani or Asian clubbers. But I’ve always felt 100% safe.
I live in London now and go out a couple of times a month to clubs across the UK. I pick up my friend Sarah and drive to the Attic in Liverpool. It’s not about nostalgia; I go to dance to new music. It’s difficult to get back to normality if you stay up to 6am, so I don’t stay out late. I’m a teacher, so I have to function at 100%. My clubbing gives me credibility with my students. I’ve not been clubbing with them, though they’ve asked.
I met my wife when I was in London for an acid house night. She was concerned I might be into drugs. She’s come out clubbing with me, but she’s a doctor so she’s usually on call. She’s not a convert but she’s not against it. Our wedding in 2017 turned into a rave. It couldn’t have worked if she’d thought, who is this man-child obsessed with dance music?
My mum found it really cute that I had smiley faces all over my bedroom as a teenager. When I visited her up north recently, she showed me a smiley face emoji on her phone. “Look, Suddi,” she smiled, “acid!’” I said, “Yes, Mum, you are bang on! That is acid!” I was so proud.
• If you would like your comment on this piece to be considered for Weekend magazine’s letters page, please email [email protected], including your name and address (not for publication).
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Closer - WIP
For @nairobiwonders and her fic Friday event (that I want to become a weekly event now...)
I’m sorry to post something unfinished, but I just had an image pop into my head and went with it, and of course it is taking longer to express than I thought. And I really wanted to post something on fic Friday!
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“Watson?”
Joan was pulled out of her doze far too easily by the tone in Sherlock’s voice. He would never intentionally wake her up this way.
She turned over in bed to face her doorway, where Sherlock stood, his hands tucked tightly into the pockets of his sweatpants, his torso bare exposing his swath of strange tattoos and the erratic nature of his breathing. He looked furtively at her through his lashes, his forehead showing a few extra wrinkles.
Her bleary confused stare immediately shifted all the way over to concern. “What is it, Sherlock?” She had barely gone to bed half an hour ago, and it wasn’t like Sherlock to bother her after she’d chosen to go to bed—at least not for the next six or seven hours.
“I had a, uh…” He looked away from her, pursed his lips, an unfamiliar action for him. He was obviously berating himself. “A request,” he finished, glancing from her face to the floor. A twitch in one of his arms told her he was struggling to keep his hands in his pockets.
She let her expression return to confusion. “Okay,” she said, letting him know with the cadence of the word she wasn’t annoyed, hoping he would look up at her. “Is something wrong?”
“No I only…um.” His wandering gaze went from the floor to the ceiling, and he began bouncing only slightly on his heels, the move so subtle only eyes as keen as hers could catch it. She would bet his pulse was increasing right now. She raised herself up on one elbow, pushing he braid over her shoulder and trying to catch any nuance of expression that would tell her his thoughts. She’d learned to read Sherlock well enough over the years, that even with only the hall light illuminating him from behind, she could tell he was embarrassed, not only anxious. It was in how he held his shoulders down, his hands in his pockets rather than out for her to see, his eyes wandering more than they ever did. Sherlock’s eyes were always focused—when they were not, it meant one of two things. He was extremely unsure or he was under the influence.
“I had an encounter earlier that I thought you should know about.” He finally got the words out, managing to focus on her face for more than a heartbeat. “It was with a, uh, drug dealer.”
“I take it this drug dealer was a member of SBK?” Joan ventured, knowing Sherlock was still not one-hundred percent on board with Shinwell remaining an informant—his hands-off approach to Shinwell’s training was proof enough of that. It had nothing to do with giving Joan “the honors,” as he kept referring to Shinwell’s training as, in that wry yet cheerful way he had.
He gave a slight nod, to the side as if he only begrudgingly admitted it. She had no idea why—she was sure he had good reason for talking to a member of SBK. They had to learn their enemy just as well as Shinwell had, after all.
“He offered to sell to me. Said he could recognize a user, even a former one,” he continued, rolling one shoulder in suppressed irritation. Anger was creeping onto his face, but he was holding it in.
“I seek not only your counsel, Watson, but your…reassurance.” His eyes locked with hers, and he was clearly biting the inside of his cheek, hard. He wanted to lash out—this was not the same restlessness she’d seen a few weeks ago, when he’d stopped going to meetings. This was a barely controlled hatred—at loss of control, loss of focus, two things that were the cornerstones of his sobriety, as she’d warned him when he’d insisted on his intellectual superiority.
“You know you can talk to me, Sherlock,” she said, feeling sleep pull at her but knowing Sherlock needed someone now. If this had been four years ago, he might even had said the word “relapse” in earnest. Now they knew each other too well—he would not be so forward. He knew enough to fear his effect on her. It pained her to think of it—to think of what his last relapse had damaged, but it wasn’t something she could dwell on now.
He nodded more energetically this time, his words coming out hurried, “I know this, Watson, and you know I value your support. I only hesitate to ask more of you now since our partnership has drifted so far from the one between sober companion and client—” He bit off the end of the sentence, his gaze wandering to the window behind her. He was searching for the words now, holding his entire body tightly bound close, as if he feared the words that he sought.
“Sherlock, please look at me.” He did, albeit hesitating for a good second, searching that blank darkness past her window for a last futile moment. “We are friends. Just because I was once your sober companion doesn’t mean I am any less your friend now. If it helps, view me as an Irregular that you just happen to live with,” she said, holding out her left hand palm up to punctuate her suggestion. He gave her a skeptical side-eye, but was still listening, so she continued. “My background as a sober companion only makes me a friend specialized in giving support when it comes to your addiction. We are no longer sober companion and client, and we don’t ever need to be again. But that doesn’t mean you have to feel bad for asking me for help. Friends are supposed to want to help each other.”
He was uncannily still for a few seconds, studying her with a scrutiny she recognized as completely selfish—he only looked at people that way when he was deducing how they could be lying, even unconsciously. And Joan knew, even unconsciously, she was telling the truth.
“If I were to ask you, Watson, as an Irregular and a friend, if you felt comfortable sharing a bed for the night, would you object?” he said, a rasping in his voice that betrayed his fear.
The words hung between them accompanied only by Joan’s increased, staccato heartbeat spreading through her limbs. Could Sherlock see that?
Her expression didn’t change though, so she felt safe enough to reply. “No. But I have to ask why.” Her words came out measured, a careful slowness that she knew Sherlock could read as trepidation. Hopefully he read nothing more.
He bounced visibly on his heels, once, twice, his eyes wandering again. “When I was using, I found it more satisfactory to distance myself from others. Not only socially but physically. Physical touch was more abhorrent to me then than it ever has been—or ever will be.” He stopped to study her expression. Nothing had changed, he had to be realizing. She was listening in her nonjudgmental way, waiting. He took a slow, audible breath, his chest expanding, before he continued.
“As you know I have usually taken on an exercise partner to use whatever excess energies may be hindering my deductive processes. But this exercise also stimulates my mind and detracts from those excess energies that…” Here he finally took one hand from his pocket, gesticulating with a few circling motions his struggle to express something that so troubled him. “…That make my addiction more tangible to me.”
She took a slow breath herself, gathering her courage. “I’m not having sex with you.”
He held up a finger. “I did not say that, Watson, allow me to elaborate.” He could not look at her after she’d said the word “sex”. It was strangely amusing to see him uncomfortable at something she had said. She let her mouth twist in a wry smile.
“It is not the actual sexual act I have found to detract from that energy which brings me closer to my addiction, but the…” He moved his hand back and forth between them, bouncing his heels at the same time now that he was finally getting his difficult message across. “…contact, you see. So I thought, perhaps, if you were not opposed we could…”
“Share a bed,” she finished for him, seeing he’d taken his other hand out of his pocket and had begun to fidget in a decidedly stressed fashion.
He finally lowered his gesturing hand and gave a small nod, eyes on the floor, pursing his lips again. “Precisely.”
She looked away from him, gathering her thoughts, and trying to slow an irritable racing heartbeat. If she thought Sherlock was manipulating her in any way, she would’ve stopped him before he’d barely begun. But this was not manipulation—she’d seldom seen him this vulnerable, not since his relapse. He didn’t want to elaborate, but something about that SBK dealer had shaken him. They would talk about it later, but now was not the time for dissecting and deducing. It was nearing 1am, and Joan had no real reason to object to Sherlock’s request.
She scooted farther to the left of her bed, pulling back the covers for him. “Alright, you can share my bed with me, but if you start kicking in your sleep you’re out. And turn the hall light off please.”
Sherlock was still for a fraught three seconds before he sprang into motion, going to turn the hall light off and rushing back to her doorway like a recalcitrant child. She lay back on her pillow, moving the one other pillow she had to the right side of the bed for Sherlock. He saw her movement and took that for definite permission, coming to her bedside and climbing under the covers in not slow, but careful motions as if he waited for her to take back her words.
But only the rustle of bedsheets filled the room as Sherlock settled next to her. They both lay on their backs, staring at the ceiling, Sherlock as silent as he was capable, waiting for her further approval. She bit her bottom lip to hold back an irrational smile.
“Sherlock, you said physical contact helped you focus your energy away from your addiction,” she said, still looking at the ceiling. He didn’t move. She gave a small sigh. “What would you like me to do?”
A few seconds passed. Then he raised his left hand, palm up toward her. “Hand, please.”
She turned to look at his profile. His eyes were closed, his lungs expanding far too fast for her liking. She silently gave him her right hand.
He exhaled, long and slow. She found herself looking at the tattoo on his shoulder, the one of such great detail she’d never been able to determine exactly everything in contained. It was too dark now, but it occurred to her she had never asked him what the tattoo was, or why he had gotten it.
“Would it help to talk?” she said, her voice coming out a bit quieter, the reality of the darkness and their closeness settling in. She wore shorts and a tank-top for her pajamas—their skin to skin contact had never reached this level of potential. Her mind whirled in uncertainty for a few seconds, not knowing what to feel except for a familiar worry—for Sherlock and for her strange reactions—and an unwelcome excitement.
He was silent for much longer this time. His breathing slowed (and so did hers, though she never acknowledged that it increased in the first place), his grasp on her hand remained relaxed, his eyes closed. She knew he wasn’t asleep—he was thinking, considering. Her words or something else, she could only guess right now.
“No, Watson, I think…” His voice had grown softer as well, and his head turned toward her. “Can I move closer?”
She had turned to face him, and at his question her hand unconsciously tightened on his. She gave a single nod to confirm her agreement, a millisecond later realizing she wasn’t really sure what she’d just agreed to.
He took her hand and draped it over his chest. He was so warm he was almost hot, and if Joan had not been a surgeon and had not known Sherlock was nowhere near ill, she would’ve thought he had a fever. In contrast her skin was cold against his. She moved closer to him to move her arm further across his chest, the prickle of his chest hairs sending foreign but welcome chills down her back. She hoped he didn’t notice the goosebumps rising on her skin (how could he not notice).
Her forehead touched his shoulder, and they spent several minutes settled thus, her feeling his chest rise and fall beneath her arm, him holding her hand gently in his own. Joan could not summon sleep. She was no longer even tired. It may have been approaching 2am, or 3am, she would not know. She feared moving closer, that he might feel her heartbeat increasing again. But then she realized he could feel her pulse as clear as day against his skin. Something in her shifted, and fear rose, but she didn’t know what to do with it. Her hand clenched into a fist under his, and she closed her eyes against the fear, seeking the empty blackness behind her eyelids to give her some calm.
Instead she felt Sherlock’s heartbeat, beating nearly as fast as hers, and this small detail made her open her eyes.
Sherlock was looking at her. She lifted her head, blinking a silent question at him, feigning nonchalance. He took his hand from hers, and lifted it to her face, holding his hand just above her forehead.
“May I?” he said, that rasping back in his voice, the words coming out a whisper that barely brushed her cheek. She nodded.
He smoothed his hand over her hair, and though she couldn’t see his expression, she felt his hesitation. He wasn’t fully touching her, holding his hand just a hairsbreadth away. She could feel that hesitation just as much as if he’d grabbed her. She was about to say something, when he began undoing her braid.
She hadn’t even noticed him pulling off the hair tie, only registering peripherally that he had moved his hand to her braid, pulling it over her shoulder. Now all she could focus on was what little she could see of his eyes, intent on the braid he was now undoing, as if it was another experiment that had caught him unawares, that he could not help but explore.
His fingers ran through her now loose hair, again and again, until she could feel the static against her neck, but also the brush of his fingers, sending more chills through her.
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EDIT: the finished chapter is up on ao3
#elementasquee#elementary fic#joan watson#joanlock#elementary#sherlock holmes (elementary)#my writing#*hangs head*#i wish i hadn't been so scared i might've been able to get this done tonight#but alas it will be added to the WIP list
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Dealing with Shattered Illusions, Beliefs and Self-Concepts
When everything you hold dear turns out to be a sham, when what you believe is a lie and how you view yourself crumbles, life can be empty, painful, and without joy.
How can you come back from such personal deficits? It isn’t easy or quick, yet there is a way of dealing with shattered illusion, beliefs and self-concepts.
Why do you feel this way?
Take some time to examine why you feel so disillusioned. Were you harshly criticized as a child and were subsequently reluctant to trust your own feelings or beliefs? Were you confused by the disconnect between what your parents taught/demanded and what you actually believed? This kind of dysfunction is often the root cause of a lifelong insecurity, low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence.
Maybe you’ve suffered a string of defeats in your career, school or home life. This could have created a perfect storm of an inability to trust in your decisions and confusion about everything you thought you believed. You might be so disheartened that you slip into depression or begin to experience a mood disorder.
Therapy Helps
Getting past the bleakness and hopelessness that often accompanies shattered illusions, beliefs and self-concepts is immensely helped with psychoanalysis or psychotherapy. In fact, there’s nothing like talking with a professional one-on-one to help you sort out what’s real and what you’ve mistakenly come to believe is true. For example, if you think you can’t make any good decisions, your therapist can discuss with you examples of things you’ve done that turned out to be sound decisions. Helping you wade through the mire of incorrect self-assumptions — often accepted without objection after others berate or belittle your actions — is what therapists do that you are not always capable of.
Treatment may include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and other psychosocial modalities. Learning to reframe your thoughts, turning negatives into positives, can be enormously beneficial in dealing with a bruised and damaged emotional and psychological state.
Find Someone Who Listens
There must be someone in your circle of friends, loved ones, family members, co-workers or neighbors that you know and trust and with whom you can confide your thoughts. This wouldn’t be some random person on the street or only a casual acquaintance. It should be someone who’s known you for some time and can bear witness to how you’ve weathered difficult times before. You need someone to talk with who listens nonjudgmentally, offers encouragement when you need it, and is just there for you to interact with and spend time together.
Join a Support Group
A support group for others who may have anxiety, depression or mood disorder may be a good way to augment psychotherapy. In addition to having members who know what you’re experiencing because they’ve been there themselves, a support group is a place to go where you know you won’t be judged. You’ll be welcomed and treated with respect. You can contribute or merely be present, listening to the accounts of others and how they’ve been able to overcome significant emotional challenges and feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and even despair.
Venture into Something New
It’s also helpful to identify an activity or pursuit that’s new to you and pursue it so you both broaden your horizons and provide yourself with an outlet to express yourself and learn something. Even if you decide the activity or pursuit is not what you’d imagined after you get into it, you’ve put yourself out there and done something proactive for your mental health.
Challenge Yourself to Go Beyond the Familiar
What’s familiar may have become part of the problem, especially if you’re prone to go home each night and think about how badly you’ve messed up your life. Nightly drinking, drug use, or going out and doing risky things only compounds the problem, not to mention adding to the risk of becoming addicted or getting into trouble in some other way. Take a different way to work, stop at another restaurant or market, go to the movie in a neighboring town, take a drive in the country and stop at small shops to talk with the proprietor. Going beyond the familiar allows you to see things in a different light, interact with new people, discover places you’re delighted with.
Engage in Small Acts of Kindness to Others
When you do something for another person, you’re stepping outside yourself and your own concerns. It’s a selfless act of generosity to be kind to others. Even the smallest kindness rewards both the recipient of the act and the giver. Many people don’t realize what kindness does for them, thinking that it’s only the other person who gets something out of the gift. While you may not much feel like smiling, greet a stranger with a smile when you open the door for them on your way into a coffee shop. Say “Good morning” to those you pass on the trail as you go for a walk. Pick up your elderly neighbor’s paper and bring it to the house so she doesn’t have to trek the driveway to retrieve it. While you’re at it, engage her in conversation. It will likely brighten her day, and yours.
Make a List of Goals to Work Toward
Life isn’t a vacuum, although when you’re depressed and feeling worthless, it can sometimes feel like it is. Get busy making a list of goals, things you want to accomplish and are willing to work to achieve. Make sure to add both short-term goals you can work on right away and complete relatively quickly, as well as some medium-term and long-term goals. Progressive or step goals – accomplishing one leads to the next one, etc. – is also important. Goal making gives you a roadmap, something you can return to and mark progress, cross off those you’ve achieved, revise those you’ve replaced or modified.
Give Yourself a Reward for Little Successes
When you finish a goal or make significant progress toward the next level or step, take time out to reward yourself for the success. It may seem like small progress, yet it’s vital to your rebuilding of self-esteem and self-confidence that you acknowledge and celebrate little successes along with bigger ones.
Surround Yourself with Positive People
Determine who you really like spending time with and be with them as often as it is mutually possible to do so. The more you surround yourself with positive people, the more your attitude and world view will begin to shift from dark and depressing to enthusiastic and optimistic. Be with those who say what they mean and do what they say. Those who are good examples, leaders, always willing to help are excellent choices for role models you’d choose to be with.
from World of Psychology http://bit.ly/2VzONqH
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Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic
Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic
While studying brain injuries in the mid-1990s, I began volunteering in a domestic violence shelter. I noticed that the abuse and problems many women reported were consistent with possibly experiencing concussions. Women reported many acts of violence that could cause trauma to the brain, as well as many post-concussive symptoms. Shockingly, my search for literature on this topic yielded zero results.
When I decided to focus my graduate work on this topic, I was even more shocked by what I learned from women who had experienced intimate partner violence (IPV). Of the 99 women I interviewed, 75% reported at least one traumatic brain injury (TBI) sustained from their partners and about half reported more than one — oftentimes many more than one. Also, as I predicted, the more brain injuries a woman reported, the more poorly she tended to perform on cognitive tasks such as learning and remembering a list of words. Additionally, having more brain injuries was associated with higher levels of psychological distress such as worry, depression, and anxiety.
When I published these results, I was excited about the possibility of bringing much needed awareness and research attention to this topic. Unfortunately, over 20 years later — despite the plethora of concussion-related research in athletics and the military — concussion-related research in the context of intimate partner violence remains scant, representing a barely recognized and highly understudied public health epidemic.
What do we know about intimate partner violence-related traumatic brain injuries?
First, we need to understand that an estimated one in three women experience some type of physical or sexual partner violence in their lifetimes. IPV is not a rare event, and it traverses all socioeconomic boundaries. It is the number one cause of homicide for women and the number one cause of violence to women. For many reasons, including the stigma of being abused, many women hide their IPV — so the chances that we all know personally at least a few people who have sustained IPV are quite high.
Though we lack good epidemiological data on the number of women sustaining brain injuries from their partners, the limited data that we do have suggest that the numbers are in the millions in the US alone. Most of these TBIs are mild and are unacknowledged, untreated, and repetitive. Consequently, many women are at risk for persistent post-concussive syndrome with completely unknown longer-term health risks.
What are the signs and symptoms of IPV-related TBI?
A concussion, by definition, is a traumatic brain injury (TBI). All that is required for someone to sustain a TBI or concussion is an alteration in consciousness after some type of external trauma or force to the brain. For example, either being hit in the head with a hard object (such as a fist), or having a head hit against a hard object (such as a wall or floor), can cause a TBI. If this force results in confusion, memory loss around the event, or loss of consciousness, this is a TBI. Dizziness or seeing stars or spots following such a force can also indicate a TBI. A loss of consciousness is not required, and in fact does not occur in the majority of mild TBIs.
There are often no physical signs that a TBI has occurred. Recognizing that an IPV-related TBI has occurred will typically involve asking the woman about her experience following a blow to the head or violent force to the brain, and then listening for signs of an alteration of consciousness (such as confusion, memory loss, loss of consciousness). Within the next days or week, a range of physical, emotional, behavioral, or cognitive issues may indicate post-concussive symptoms that could include
headaches
dizziness
feeling depressed or tearful
being irritable or easily angered
frustration
restlessness
having poor concentration
sleep disturbances
forgetfulness
taking longer to think.
If a TBI is suspected, a woman should see a doctor if possible. Sustaining additional TBIs while still symptomatic will likely increase the time to recovery, and possibly increase the likelihood of more long-term difficulties.
What can we do?
An important component of addressing IPV-related TBI is to raise awareness and destigmatize intimate partner violence. IPV is unfortunately quite common, and some estimates suggest that millions of women may be sustaining unacknowledged, unaddressed, and often repetitive mild TBIs or concussions from their partners. Talking openly and honestly about this problem, especially in cases were abuse may be suspected, is critical. As we open up this conversation about the commonality of IPV with nonjudgmental acceptance of a woman’s experience, we will be in a better place to hear, understand, and support women who may be unknowing members of this invisible public health epidemic.
Resources
If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, The Hotline is a 24/7 support service that has a wealth of resources, including access to service providers and shelters across the US.
Follow me on Twitter @EveValera2
The post Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic appeared first on Harvard Health Blog.
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Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic
Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic
While studying brain injuries in the mid-1990s, I began volunteering in a domestic violence shelter. I noticed that the abuse and problems many women reported were consistent with possibly experiencing concussions. Women reported many acts of violence that could cause trauma to the brain, as well as many post-concussive symptoms. Shockingly, my search for literature on this topic yielded zero results.
When I decided to focus my graduate work on this topic, I was even more shocked by what I learned from women who had experienced intimate partner violence (IPV). Of the 99 women I interviewed, 75% reported at least one traumatic brain injury (TBI) sustained from their partners and about half reported more than one — oftentimes many more than one. Also, as I predicted, the more brain injuries a woman reported, the more poorly she tended to perform on cognitive tasks such as learning and remembering a list of words. Additionally, having more brain injuries was associated with higher levels of psychological distress such as worry, depression, and anxiety.
When I published these results, I was excited about the possibility of bringing much needed awareness and research attention to this topic. Unfortunately, over 20 years later — despite the plethora of concussion-related research in athletics and the military — concussion-related research in the context of intimate partner violence remains scant, representing a barely recognized and highly understudied public health epidemic.
What do we know about intimate partner violence-related traumatic brain injuries?
First, we need to understand that an estimated one in three women experience some type of physical or sexual partner violence in their lifetimes. IPV is not a rare event, and it traverses all socioeconomic boundaries. It is the number one cause of homicide for women and the number one cause of violence to women. For many reasons, including the stigma of being abused, many women hide their IPV — so the chances that we all know personally at least a few people who have sustained IPV are quite high.
Though we lack good epidemiological data on the number of women sustaining brain injuries from their partners, the limited data that we do have suggest that the numbers are in the millions in the US alone. Most of these TBIs are mild and are unacknowledged, untreated, and repetitive. Consequently, many women are at risk for persistent post-concussive syndrome with completely unknown longer-term health risks.
What are the signs and symptoms of IPV-related TBI?
A concussion, by definition, is a traumatic brain injury (TBI). All that is required for someone to sustain a TBI or concussion is an alteration in consciousness after some type of external trauma or force to the brain. For example, either being hit in the head with a hard object (such as a fist), or having a head hit against a hard object (such as a wall or floor), can cause a TBI. If this force results in confusion, memory loss around the event, or loss of consciousness, this is a TBI. Dizziness or seeing stars or spots following such a force can also indicate a TBI. A loss of consciousness is not required, and in fact does not occur in the majority of mild TBIs.
There are often no physical signs that a TBI has occurred. Recognizing that an IPV-related TBI has occurred will typically involve asking the woman about her experience following a blow to the head or violent force to the brain, and then listening for signs of an alteration of consciousness (such as confusion, memory loss, loss of consciousness). Within the next days or week, a range of physical, emotional, behavioral, or cognitive issues may indicate post-concussive symptoms that could include
headaches
dizziness
feeling depressed or tearful
being irritable or easily angered
frustration
restlessness
having poor concentration
sleep disturbances
forgetfulness
taking longer to think.
If a TBI is suspected, a woman should see a doctor if possible. Sustaining additional TBIs while still symptomatic will likely increase the time to recovery, and possibly increase the likelihood of more long-term difficulties.
What can we do?
An important component of addressing IPV-related TBI is to raise awareness and destigmatize intimate partner violence. IPV is unfortunately quite common, and some estimates suggest that millions of women may be sustaining unacknowledged, unaddressed, and often repetitive mild TBIs or concussions from their partners. Talking openly and honestly about this problem, especially in cases were abuse may be suspected, is critical. As we open up this conversation about the commonality of IPV with nonjudgmental acceptance of a woman’s experience, we will be in a better place to hear, understand, and support women who may be unknowing members of this invisible public health epidemic.
Resources
If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, The Hotline is a 24/7 support service that has a wealth of resources, including access to service providers and shelters across the US.
Follow me on Twitter @EveValera2
The post Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic appeared first on Harvard Health Blog.
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Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic
Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic
While studying brain injuries in the mid-1990s, I began volunteering in a domestic violence shelter. I noticed that the abuse and problems many women reported were consistent with possibly experiencing concussions. Women reported many acts of violence that could cause trauma to the brain, as well as many post-concussive symptoms. Shockingly, my search for literature on this topic yielded zero results.
When I decided to focus my graduate work on this topic, I was even more shocked by what I learned from women who had experienced intimate partner violence (IPV). Of the 99 women I interviewed, 75% reported at least one traumatic brain injury (TBI) sustained from their partners and about half reported more than one — oftentimes many more than one. Also, as I predicted, the more brain injuries a woman reported, the more poorly she tended to perform on cognitive tasks such as learning and remembering a list of words. Additionally, having more brain injuries was associated with higher levels of psychological distress such as worry, depression, and anxiety.
When I published these results, I was excited about the possibility of bringing much needed awareness and research attention to this topic. Unfortunately, over 20 years later — despite the plethora of concussion-related research in athletics and the military — concussion-related research in the context of intimate partner violence remains scant, representing a barely recognized and highly understudied public health epidemic.
What do we know about intimate partner violence-related traumatic brain injuries?
First, we need to understand that an estimated one in three women experience some type of physical or sexual partner violence in their lifetimes. IPV is not a rare event, and it traverses all socioeconomic boundaries. It is the number one cause of homicide for women and the number one cause of violence to women. For many reasons, including the stigma of being abused, many women hide their IPV — so the chances that we all know personally at least a few people who have sustained IPV are quite high.
Though we lack good epidemiological data on the number of women sustaining brain injuries from their partners, the limited data that we do have suggest that the numbers are in the millions in the US alone. Most of these TBIs are mild and are unacknowledged, untreated, and repetitive. Consequently, many women are at risk for persistent post-concussive syndrome with completely unknown longer-term health risks.
What are the signs and symptoms of IPV-related TBI?
A concussion, by definition, is a traumatic brain injury (TBI). All that is required for someone to sustain a TBI or concussion is an alteration in consciousness after some type of external trauma or force to the brain. For example, either being hit in the head with a hard object (such as a fist), or having a head hit against a hard object (such as a wall or floor), can cause a TBI. If this force results in confusion, memory loss around the event, or loss of consciousness, this is a TBI. Dizziness or seeing stars or spots following such a force can also indicate a TBI. A loss of consciousness is not required, and in fact does not occur in the majority of mild TBIs.
There are often no physical signs that a TBI has occurred. Recognizing that an IPV-related TBI has occurred will typically involve asking the woman about her experience following a blow to the head or violent force to the brain, and then listening for signs of an alteration of consciousness (such as confusion, memory loss, loss of consciousness). Within the next days or week, a range of physical, emotional, behavioral, or cognitive issues may indicate post-concussive symptoms that could include
headaches
dizziness
feeling depressed or tearful
being irritable or easily angered
frustration
restlessness
having poor concentration
sleep disturbances
forgetfulness
taking longer to think.
If a TBI is suspected, a woman should see a doctor if possible. Sustaining additional TBIs while still symptomatic will likely increase the time to recovery, and possibly increase the likelihood of more long-term difficulties.
What can we do?
An important component of addressing IPV-related TBI is to raise awareness and destigmatize intimate partner violence. IPV is unfortunately quite common, and some estimates suggest that millions of women may be sustaining unacknowledged, unaddressed, and often repetitive mild TBIs or concussions from their partners. Talking openly and honestly about this problem, especially in cases were abuse may be suspected, is critical. As we open up this conversation about the commonality of IPV with nonjudgmental acceptance of a woman’s experience, we will be in a better place to hear, understand, and support women who may be unknowing members of this invisible public health epidemic.
Resources
If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, The Hotline is a 24/7 support service that has a wealth of resources, including access to service providers and shelters across the US.
Follow me on Twitter @EveValera2
The post Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic appeared first on Harvard Health Blog.
https://ift.tt/2rxRGvs
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Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic
Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic
While studying brain injuries in the mid-1990s, I began volunteering in a domestic violence shelter. I noticed that the abuse and problems many women reported were consistent with possibly experiencing concussions. Women reported many acts of violence that could cause trauma to the brain, as well as many post-concussive symptoms. Shockingly, my search for literature on this topic yielded zero results.
When I decided to focus my graduate work on this topic, I was even more shocked by what I learned from women who had experienced intimate partner violence (IPV). Of the 99 women I interviewed, 75% reported at least one traumatic brain injury (TBI) sustained from their partners and about half reported more than one — oftentimes many more than one. Also, as I predicted, the more brain injuries a woman reported, the more poorly she tended to perform on cognitive tasks such as learning and remembering a list of words. Additionally, having more brain injuries was associated with higher levels of psychological distress such as worry, depression, and anxiety.
When I published these results, I was excited about the possibility of bringing much needed awareness and research attention to this topic. Unfortunately, over 20 years later — despite the plethora of concussion-related research in athletics and the military — concussion-related research in the context of intimate partner violence remains scant, representing a barely recognized and highly understudied public health epidemic.
What do we know about intimate partner violence-related traumatic brain injuries?
First, we need to understand that an estimated one in three women experience some type of physical or sexual partner violence in their lifetimes. IPV is not a rare event, and it traverses all socioeconomic boundaries. It is the number one cause of homicide for women and the number one cause of violence to women. For many reasons, including the stigma of being abused, many women hide their IPV — so the chances that we all know personally at least a few people who have sustained IPV are quite high.
Though we lack good epidemiological data on the number of women sustaining brain injuries from their partners, the limited data that we do have suggest that the numbers are in the millions in the US alone. Most of these TBIs are mild and are unacknowledged, untreated, and repetitive. Consequently, many women are at risk for persistent post-concussive syndrome with completely unknown longer-term health risks.
What are the signs and symptoms of IPV-related TBI?
A concussion, by definition, is a traumatic brain injury (TBI). All that is required for someone to sustain a TBI or concussion is an alteration in consciousness after some type of external trauma or force to the brain. For example, either being hit in the head with a hard object (such as a fist), or having a head hit against a hard object (such as a wall or floor), can cause a TBI. If this force results in confusion, memory loss around the event, or loss of consciousness, this is a TBI. Dizziness or seeing stars or spots following such a force can also indicate a TBI. A loss of consciousness is not required, and in fact does not occur in the majority of mild TBIs.
There are often no physical signs that a TBI has occurred. Recognizing that an IPV-related TBI has occurred will typically involve asking the woman about her experience following a blow to the head or violent force to the brain, and then listening for signs of an alteration of consciousness (such as confusion, memory loss, loss of consciousness). Within the next days or week, a range of physical, emotional, behavioral, or cognitive issues may indicate post-concussive symptoms that could include
headaches
dizziness
feeling depressed or tearful
being irritable or easily angered
frustration
restlessness
having poor concentration
sleep disturbances
forgetfulness
taking longer to think.
If a TBI is suspected, a woman should see a doctor if possible. Sustaining additional TBIs while still symptomatic will likely increase the time to recovery, and possibly increase the likelihood of more long-term difficulties.
What can we do?
An important component of addressing IPV-related TBI is to raise awareness and destigmatize intimate partner violence. IPV is unfortunately quite common, and some estimates suggest that millions of women may be sustaining unacknowledged, unaddressed, and often repetitive mild TBIs or concussions from their partners. Talking openly and honestly about this problem, especially in cases were abuse may be suspected, is critical. As we open up this conversation about the commonality of IPV with nonjudgmental acceptance of a woman’s experience, we will be in a better place to hear, understand, and support women who may be unknowing members of this invisible public health epidemic.
Resources
If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, The Hotline is a 24/7 support service that has a wealth of resources, including access to service providers and shelters across the US.
Follow me on Twitter @EveValera2
The post Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic appeared first on Harvard Health Blog.
https://ift.tt/2rxRGvs
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Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic
Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic
While studying brain injuries in the mid-1990s, I began volunteering in a domestic violence shelter. I noticed that the abuse and problems many women reported were consistent with possibly experiencing concussions. Women reported many acts of violence that could cause trauma to the brain, as well as many post-concussive symptoms. Shockingly, my search for literature on this topic yielded zero results.
When I decided to focus my graduate work on this topic, I was even more shocked by what I learned from women who had experienced intimate partner violence (IPV). Of the 99 women I interviewed, 75% reported at least one traumatic brain injury (TBI) sustained from their partners and about half reported more than one — oftentimes many more than one. Also, as I predicted, the more brain injuries a woman reported, the more poorly she tended to perform on cognitive tasks such as learning and remembering a list of words. Additionally, having more brain injuries was associated with higher levels of psychological distress such as worry, depression, and anxiety.
When I published these results, I was excited about the possibility of bringing much needed awareness and research attention to this topic. Unfortunately, over 20 years later — despite the plethora of concussion-related research in athletics and the military — concussion-related research in the context of intimate partner violence remains scant, representing a barely recognized and highly understudied public health epidemic.
What do we know about intimate partner violence-related traumatic brain injuries?
First, we need to understand that an estimated one in three women experience some type of physical or sexual partner violence in their lifetimes. IPV is not a rare event, and it traverses all socioeconomic boundaries. It is the number one cause of homicide for women and the number one cause of violence to women. For many reasons, including the stigma of being abused, many women hide their IPV — so the chances that we all know personally at least a few people who have sustained IPV are quite high.
Though we lack good epidemiological data on the number of women sustaining brain injuries from their partners, the limited data that we do have suggest that the numbers are in the millions in the US alone. Most of these TBIs are mild and are unacknowledged, untreated, and repetitive. Consequently, many women are at risk for persistent post-concussive syndrome with completely unknown longer-term health risks.
What are the signs and symptoms of IPV-related TBI?
A concussion, by definition, is a traumatic brain injury (TBI). All that is required for someone to sustain a TBI or concussion is an alteration in consciousness after some type of external trauma or force to the brain. For example, either being hit in the head with a hard object (such as a fist), or having a head hit against a hard object (such as a wall or floor), can cause a TBI. If this force results in confusion, memory loss around the event, or loss of consciousness, this is a TBI. Dizziness or seeing stars or spots following such a force can also indicate a TBI. A loss of consciousness is not required, and in fact does not occur in the majority of mild TBIs.
There are often no physical signs that a TBI has occurred. Recognizing that an IPV-related TBI has occurred will typically involve asking the woman about her experience following a blow to the head or violent force to the brain, and then listening for signs of an alteration of consciousness (such as confusion, memory loss, loss of consciousness). Within the next days or week, a range of physical, emotional, behavioral, or cognitive issues may indicate post-concussive symptoms that could include
headaches
dizziness
feeling depressed or tearful
being irritable or easily angered
frustration
restlessness
having poor concentration
sleep disturbances
forgetfulness
taking longer to think.
If a TBI is suspected, a woman should see a doctor if possible. Sustaining additional TBIs while still symptomatic will likely increase the time to recovery, and possibly increase the likelihood of more long-term difficulties.
What can we do?
An important component of addressing IPV-related TBI is to raise awareness and destigmatize intimate partner violence. IPV is unfortunately quite common, and some estimates suggest that millions of women may be sustaining unacknowledged, unaddressed, and often repetitive mild TBIs or concussions from their partners. Talking openly and honestly about this problem, especially in cases were abuse may be suspected, is critical. As we open up this conversation about the commonality of IPV with nonjudgmental acceptance of a woman’s experience, we will be in a better place to hear, understand, and support women who may be unknowing members of this invisible public health epidemic.
Resources
If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, The Hotline is a 24/7 support service that has a wealth of resources, including access to service providers and shelters across the US.
Follow me on Twitter @EveValera2
The post Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic appeared first on Harvard Health Blog.
https://ift.tt/2rxRGvs
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Text
Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic
While studying brain injuries in the mid-1990s, I began volunteering in a domestic violence shelter. I noticed that the abuse and problems many women reported were consistent with possibly experiencing concussions. Women reported many acts of violence that could cause trauma to the brain, as well as many post-concussive symptoms. Shockingly, my search for literature on this topic yielded zero results.
When I decided to focus my graduate work on this topic, I was even more shocked by what I learned from women who had experienced intimate partner violence (IPV). Of the 99 women I interviewed, 75% reported at least one traumatic brain injury (TBI) sustained from their partners and about half reported more than one — oftentimes many more than one. Also, as I predicted, the more brain injuries a woman reported, the more poorly she tended to perform on cognitive tasks such as learning and remembering a list of words. Additionally, having more brain injuries was associated with higher levels of psychological distress such as worry, depression, and anxiety.
When I published these results, I was excited about the possibility of bringing much needed awareness and research attention to this topic. Unfortunately, over 20 years later — despite the plethora of concussion-related research in athletics and the military — concussion-related research in the context of intimate partner violence remains scant, representing a barely recognized and highly understudied public health epidemic.
What do we know about intimate partner violence-related traumatic brain injuries?
First, we need to understand that an estimated one in three women experience some type of physical or sexual partner violence in their lifetimes. IPV is not a rare event, and it traverses all socioeconomic boundaries. It is the number one cause of homicide for women and the number one cause of violence to women. For many reasons, including the stigma of being abused, many women hide their IPV — so the chances that we all know personally at least a few people who have sustained IPV are quite high.
Though we lack good epidemiological data on the number of women sustaining brain injuries from their partners, the limited data that we do have suggest that the numbers are in the millions in the US alone. Most of these TBIs are mild and are unacknowledged, untreated, and repetitive. Consequently, many women are at risk for persistent post-concussive syndrome with completely unknown longer-term health risks.
What are the signs and symptoms of IPV-related TBI?
A concussion, by definition, is a traumatic brain injury (TBI). All that is required for someone to sustain a TBI or concussion is an alteration in consciousness after some type of external trauma or force to the brain. For example, either being hit in the head with a hard object (such as a fist), or having a head hit against a hard object (such as a wall or floor), can cause a TBI. If this force results in confusion, memory loss around the event, or loss of consciousness, this is a TBI. Dizziness or seeing stars or spots following such a force can also indicate a TBI. A loss of consciousness is not required, and in fact does not occur in the majority of mild TBIs.
There are often no physical signs that a TBI has occurred. Recognizing that an IPV-related TBI has occurred will typically involve asking the woman about her experience following a blow to the head or violent force to the brain, and then listening for signs of an alteration of consciousness (such as confusion, memory loss, loss of consciousness). Within the next days or week, a range of physical, emotional, behavioral, or cognitive issues may indicate post-concussive symptoms that could include
headaches
dizziness
feeling depressed or tearful
being irritable or easily angered
frustration
restlessness
having poor concentration
sleep disturbances
forgetfulness
taking longer to think.
If a TBI is suspected, a woman should see a doctor if possible. Sustaining additional TBIs while still symptomatic will likely increase the time to recovery, and possibly increase the likelihood of more long-term difficulties.
What can we do?
An important component of addressing IPV-related TBI is to raise awareness and destigmatize intimate partner violence. IPV is unfortunately quite common, and some estimates suggest that millions of women may be sustaining unacknowledged, unaddressed, and often repetitive mild TBIs or concussions from their partners. Talking openly and honestly about this problem, especially in cases were abuse may be suspected, is critical. As we open up this conversation about the commonality of IPV with nonjudgmental acceptance of a woman’s experience, we will be in a better place to hear, understand, and support women who may be unknowing members of this invisible public health epidemic.
Resources
If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, The Hotline is a 24/7 support service that has a wealth of resources, including access to service providers and shelters across the US.
Follow me on Twitter @EveValera2
The post Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic appeared first on Harvard Health Blog.
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Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic
While studying brain injuries in the mid-1990s, I began volunteering in a domestic violence shelter. I noticed that the abuse and problems many women reported were consistent with possibly experiencing concussions. Women reported many acts of violence that could cause trauma to the brain, as well as many post-concussive symptoms. Shockingly, my search for literature on this topic yielded zero results.
When I decided to focus my graduate work on this topic, I was even more shocked by what I learned from women who had experienced intimate partner violence (IPV). Of the 99 women I interviewed, 75% reported at least one traumatic brain injury (TBI) sustained from their partners and about half reported more than one — oftentimes many more than one. Also, as I predicted, the more brain injuries a woman reported, the more poorly she tended to perform on cognitive tasks such as learning and remembering a list of words. Additionally, having more brain injuries was associated with higher levels of psychological distress such as worry, depression, and anxiety.
When I published these results, I was excited about the possibility of bringing much needed awareness and research attention to this topic. Unfortunately, over 20 years later — despite the plethora of concussion-related research in athletics and the military — concussion-related research in the context of intimate partner violence remains scant, representing a barely recognized and highly understudied public health epidemic.
What do we know about intimate partner violence-related traumatic brain injuries?
First, we need to understand that an estimated one in three women experience some type of physical or sexual partner violence in their lifetimes. IPV is not a rare event, and it traverses all socioeconomic boundaries. It is the number one cause of homicide for women and the number one cause of violence to women. For many reasons, including the stigma of being abused, many women hide their IPV — so the chances that we all know personally at least a few people who have sustained IPV are quite high.
Though we lack good epidemiological data on the number of women sustaining brain injuries from their partners, the limited data that we do have suggest that the numbers are in the millions in the US alone. Most of these TBIs are mild and are unacknowledged, untreated, and repetitive. Consequently, many women are at risk for persistent post-concussive syndrome with completely unknown longer-term health risks.
What are the signs and symptoms of IPV-related TBI?
A concussion, by definition, is a traumatic brain injury (TBI). All that is required for someone to sustain a TBI or concussion is an alteration in consciousness after some type of external trauma or force to the brain. For example, either being hit in the head with a hard object (such as a fist), or having a head hit against a hard object (such as a wall or floor), can cause a TBI. If this force results in confusion, memory loss around the event, or loss of consciousness, this is a TBI. Dizziness or seeing stars or spots following such a force can also indicate a TBI. A loss of consciousness is not required, and in fact does not occur in the majority of mild TBIs.
There are often no physical signs that a TBI has occurred. Recognizing that an IPV-related TBI has occurred will typically involve asking the woman about her experience following a blow to the head or violent force to the brain, and then listening for signs of an alteration of consciousness (such as confusion, memory loss, loss of consciousness). Within the next days or week, a range of physical, emotional, behavioral, or cognitive issues may indicate post-concussive symptoms that could include
headaches
dizziness
feeling depressed or tearful
being irritable or easily angered
frustration
restlessness
having poor concentration
sleep disturbances
forgetfulness
taking longer to think.
If a TBI is suspected, a woman should see a doctor if possible. Sustaining additional TBIs while still symptomatic will likely increase the time to recovery, and possibly increase the likelihood of more long-term difficulties.
What can we do?
An important component of addressing IPV-related TBI is to raise awareness and destigmatize intimate partner violence. IPV is unfortunately quite common, and some estimates suggest that millions of women may be sustaining unacknowledged, unaddressed, and often repetitive mild TBIs or concussions from their partners. Talking openly and honestly about this problem, especially in cases were abuse may be suspected, is critical. As we open up this conversation about the commonality of IPV with nonjudgmental acceptance of a woman’s experience, we will be in a better place to hear, understand, and support women who may be unknowing members of this invisible public health epidemic.
Resources
If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, The Hotline is a 24/7 support service that has a wealth of resources, including access to service providers and shelters across the US.
Follow me on Twitter @EveValera2
The post Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic appeared first on Harvard Health Blog.
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Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic
While studying brain injuries in the mid-1990s, I began volunteering in a domestic violence shelter. I noticed that the abuse and problems many women reported were consistent with possibly experiencing concussions. Women reported many acts of violence that could cause trauma to the brain, as well as many post-concussive symptoms. Shockingly, my search for literature on this topic yielded zero results.
When I decided to focus my graduate work on this topic, I was even more shocked by what I learned from women who had experienced intimate partner violence (IPV). Of the 99 women I interviewed, 75% reported at least one traumatic brain injury (TBI) sustained from their partners and about half reported more than one — oftentimes many more than one. Also, as I predicted, the more brain injuries a woman reported, the more poorly she tended to perform on cognitive tasks such as learning and remembering a list of words. Additionally, having more brain injuries was associated with higher levels of psychological distress such as worry, depression, and anxiety.
When I published these results, I was excited about the possibility of bringing much needed awareness and research attention to this topic. Unfortunately, over 20 years later — despite the plethora of concussion-related research in athletics and the military — concussion-related research in the context of intimate partner violence remains scant, representing a barely recognized and highly understudied public health epidemic.
What do we know about intimate partner violence-related traumatic brain injuries?
First, we need to understand that an estimated one in three women experience some type of physical or sexual partner violence in their lifetimes. IPV is not a rare event, and it traverses all socioeconomic boundaries. It is the number one cause of homicide for women and the number one cause of violence to women. For many reasons, including the stigma of being abused, many women hide their IPV — so the chances that we all know personally at least a few people who have sustained IPV are quite high.
Though we lack good epidemiological data on the number of women sustaining brain injuries from their partners, the limited data that we do have suggest that the numbers are in the millions in the US alone. Most of these TBIs are mild and are unacknowledged, untreated, and repetitive. Consequently, many women are at risk for persistent post-concussive syndrome with completely unknown longer-term health risks.
What are the signs and symptoms of IPV-related TBI?
A concussion, by definition, is a traumatic brain injury (TBI). All that is required for someone to sustain a TBI or concussion is an alteration in consciousness after some type of external trauma or force to the brain. For example, either being hit in the head with a hard object (such as a fist), or having a head hit against a hard object (such as a wall or floor), can cause a TBI. If this force results in confusion, memory loss around the event, or loss of consciousness, this is a TBI. Dizziness or seeing stars or spots following such a force can also indicate a TBI. A loss of consciousness is not required, and in fact does not occur in the majority of mild TBIs.
There are often no physical signs that a TBI has occurred. Recognizing that an IPV-related TBI has occurred will typically involve asking the woman about her experience following a blow to the head or violent force to the brain, and then listening for signs of an alteration of consciousness (such as confusion, memory loss, loss of consciousness). Within the next days or week, a range of physical, emotional, behavioral, or cognitive issues may indicate post-concussive symptoms that could include
headaches
dizziness
feeling depressed or tearful
being irritable or easily angered
frustration
restlessness
having poor concentration
sleep disturbances
forgetfulness
taking longer to think.
If a TBI is suspected, a woman should see a doctor if possible. Sustaining additional TBIs while still symptomatic will likely increase the time to recovery, and possibly increase the likelihood of more long-term difficulties.
What can we do?
An important component of addressing IPV-related TBI is to raise awareness and destigmatize intimate partner violence. IPV is unfortunately quite common, and some estimates suggest that millions of women may be sustaining unacknowledged, unaddressed, and often repetitive mild TBIs or concussions from their partners. Talking openly and honestly about this problem, especially in cases were abuse may be suspected, is critical. As we open up this conversation about the commonality of IPV with nonjudgmental acceptance of a woman’s experience, we will be in a better place to hear, understand, and support women who may be unknowing members of this invisible public health epidemic.
Follow me on Twitter @EveValera2
Resources
If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, The Hotline is a 24/7 support service that has a wealth of resources, including access to service providers and shelters across the US.
The post Intimate partner violence and traumatic brain injury: An “invisible” public health epidemic appeared first on Harvard Health Blog.
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Not every depressed person develops suicidal thoughts and not every person who dies by suicide is depressed
Not everyone who suffers from depression will have suicidal thoughts. And not everyone who has suicidal thoughts will act on them. Why are some people more at risk than others? There’s no one answer for this complicated issue.
“Suicide is a complex outcome of medical illness and a diverse interplay of risk factors,” says Dr. Bernert. “Though a symptom of depression, suicidal behaviors exist on a continuum of risk, ranging in severity from suicidal thoughts to attempts to death by suicide. Only a small fraction of those with depression will go on to die by suicide.”
Dr. Urszula Klich, a clinical health psychologist who implemented suicide prevention training program in a previous role at Shepherd Center in Atlanta, Georgia, notes that in her current experience treating chronic pain patients (which she notes as a very high-risk category for suicide), “Some patients, no matter how depressed they are, never have suicidal thoughts and never does their depression manifest to their being at risk for suicide.”
Just as a depressed person may never become suicidal, a person who has never been depressed can become suicidal — seemingly out of the blue. But there is almost always, Dr. Klich says, some form of “working up to the act.” Sometimes a loved one can detect and intervene (successfully or not); sometimes they can’t.
“If we take a look at the acquired ability or the so-called ‘capability’ a person has when completing suicide, we know they work up to the act. We see some things unfolding. They may have talked about it with someone, and that person will later recall them saying something odd. But we also see suicidal patients doing some sort of rehearsals,” she says. “They may not even be planning suicide, but they’re playing around with the idea. Maybe, if they have a gun, they will take it out and load it and then unload it and put it away. Or, in the case of overdoses, they’ll take out pills and count them,” Dr. Kilch says.
These “planful behaviors,” as Dr. Bernert puts it, signal a heightened risk, “even if the act itself may appear differently.”
If you know someone at risk, get specific with your questions
To be clear, this doesn’t mean that survivors of loved ones who died by suicide missed warning signs, because you can’t miss signs if you don’t know they’re there; and as Dr. Klich points out, certain suicidal behaviors can only be aptly picked up on by trained professionals, especially in the case of those mentally rehearsing or visualizing — symptoms that can occur without the person’s full awareness that this is indeed a kind of suicidal thinking. Additionally, because millions of Americans have depression and don’t have with suicidal thoughts, it can be hard if not impossible to tell who is at risk and who is not.
But if you’re concerned about a loved one being at risk, you can possibly help by speaking up.
“Speak with your loved one about how they are feeling and encourage help-seeking by way of the many resources available, including the American Association for Suicide Prevention and American Association of Suicidology and confidential helplines,” says Dr. Bernert.
And be direct in your conversations when you can. Dr. Klich finds that because suicide is so stigmatized (and also, just a really tough thing to talk about), people tend to skirt around the issue, or even unintentionally steer victims of suicidal thoughts toward a reassuring answer.
“Very often people will say, ‘you won’t do anything, right?’” she says. “I see this even in the medical field. Professionals will say to patients, ‘you haven’t thought about self-harm or suicide, right?’ Who would answer positively in response to that? Not many people.”
Maybe a better way to ask is to leave it open-ended and nonjudgmental. You might want to say, “Are you having suicidal thoughts or imaginings?”
An ongoing struggle to understand
When we’re grieving this kind of death, we’ll likely have questions. Even now, perfect strangers are trying to put together a puzzle of what happened to result in these celebrity deaths, of what they missed, of why we had no idea of their possible struggles (not that they are any of the public’s business).
But if someone you did know has died by suicide caused by a mental illness and are looking for a way to understand it, consider Dr. Lembke’s moving analogy.
“We talk about death with cancer and heart disease but not death when associated with mental illness,” says Dr. Lembke. “But some people do die from it. Suicide is like a massive heart attack of the brain.”
If you’re feeling triggered or at risk, please follow Dr. Bernert’s advice:
“Confidential support is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by way of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK) or the Crisis Test Line,” she says. “These are available to anyone, whether in crisis or concerned about a loved one who is experiencing distress.”
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Mumblecore baby Greta Gerwig acts, writes, directs, enunciates properly
By Spencer Parsons, Fri., March 7, 2008
source: https://www.austinchronicle.com/screens/2008-03-07/599519/
Mark and Jay Duplass had been trying to cast the role of Michelle in Baghead for a while already, but when Mark arrived on set in Chicago to be in Hannah Takes the Stairs, he says: "It took about 12 seconds with Greta, and I knew. She wasn't exactly who we had envisioned ... but she's really bringing something very different in Baghead. The whole mumblecore slant is supposedly about just playing yourself, but this is really a performance."
Greta Gerwig was an aspiring playwright thinking of applying to law school who fell into acting by literally being herself, when then-boyfriend Chris Wells asked to use a voice-mail message she had left for him as a message from his character's fictional girlfriend in LOL, a movie he was making with Joe Swanberg in Chicago. From New York, Greta literally phoned in a performance with calls and pictures, and it wasn't until LOL's premiere at South by Southwest in 2006 that Swanberg and Gerwig met in person and instantly knew they wanted to work together, resulting in Hannah Takes the Stairs (2007), immediately followed by this year's Nights and Weekends, which she also co-directed. Though in neither does she quite play herself, as one might guess from how this all got started, Swanberg's methodology tends to blur the lines between person and performance.
"Part of my process has always been to break down professional barriers, working with friends and with people who I want to be my friends on these movies," says Swanberg. "But sometimes I feel like I'm pushing hard into dangerous territory. I'm simultaneously proud of what I can get in that territory and terrified of what can go wrong." Personally and artistically, Nights and Weekends proved as thorny and difficult for both Gerwig and Swanberg as it has been ultimately rewarding, pushing both artists to new limits. In a very short time, Gerwig has distinguished herself as a fearless and resourceful actress in a growing filmography of highly collaborative projects, so it was a pleasure to talk with her about the dangers and connections to be found working together in dark woods, both literal and figurative.
Greta Gerwig: You know, Hannah felt like an anomaly, something that maybe wouldn't be repeated. I still haven't figured out how to make money out of this, but it's more of my life, and it's real, and it's great. Now I think, yeah, it's not impossible, but you've also got to be pragmatic. I'm smarter now about how I earn my money in New York, having a job, and even if I can't fully support myself doing this, I can still do it if I want to, and that's great. With Yeast [Mary Bronstein's film, which plays in the Narrative Feature Competition], Mary came to me with this idea and asked me if I could take some time off on some weekends, and we didn't know if it was going to come together, but it did, and it was great. It was a really good feeling that we just went out and did it and it worked.
Austin Chronicle: On Hannah, you were "just" an actor, even though that means pretty intense collaboration, working with Joe Swanberg. How was it to co-direct Nights and Weekends?
GG: Yeah, Nights and Weekends is a beast. I mean, I don't think that it's fully co-directed in the sense that – well, I think it's very much in the style of what Joe does. I think it was more about me having more influence on his turf. I mean, it's impossible to say "co-written" or "co-directed" because it's just the two of us for the whole movie anyway. And it's really intense and physical and a really hard experience.
AC: Often when people talk about the collaborative process in filmmaking, it can sound like sunshine and roses, but the reality can also be pretty tough.
GG: Well, maybe Hannah was sunshine and roses. I mean, not like it was easy in the sense of being without effort. But without strain. It came together like magic. So when my plane got delayed heading home from that shoot, Joe and I ended up hanging out in a coffee shop for a few hours and talked about this idea that became Nights and Weekends. We started with this high left over from Hannah.
We ended up shooting what's now half of the movie one year and then the second half a year later, and we didn't know we would do it that way. But it was a difficult power dynamic because, on one hand, I was collaborating in this way I had before, but on the other, I was stepping into a world he had control over and he already knew, but it was new to me. So it was weird moving into stuff I was less comfortable with. And it was just the two of us. As an actor, it was hard because I didn't have anyone to look to for approval. I would look at Joe at the end of a take, and he would look at me, and we're both like, "Is that the scene?"
That made it really hard to be playing a couple onscreen, because of the nature of the real intimacy of an artistic relationship versus the intimacy between the people we're supposed to be playing. It's always sticky involving real emotions and real physical lives. That was constantly being renegotiated and constantly figured out. And I think that's all there in the movie. I think ultimately Joe and I were both kind of losing our minds when we made it. Especially the first half.
The first shoot was December 2006, and I think we were in pretty low places in our own lives, and it was unhealthy for us to be around each other that much. But then I feel like the second half, that's a much better representation of me and Joe on our A game. But we were making a movie about a couple that clearly shouldn't be together, so a lot of our discussions in the movie would veer into the difficulty of artistic collaboration and how it has to end, and you go on working with others. In romantic relationships, you're obviously at least hoping that doesn't happen, but in artistic relationships, you have to move on. All that stuff is in the movie, and it's complicated. But I think it's a very brave thing that we did.
AC: The Duplass brothers have a more scripted approach, even though they use a lot of improvisation, and Baghead's also kind of a horror movie.
GG: It was kind of a grueling shoot, and none of us had made a horror film before, so it was a lot of people who didn't really know how horror elements were supposed to work. Actually, Elise [Muller] had done some horror before. She'd been in some shark movies, like ManShark 4 [actually Raging Sharks and Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy]. So she was a much better screamer than anyone else! But I would say it's really a solid ensemble piece, and that's the cool thing about it. Four people in the woods, and the dynamics between the actors keep everything afloat. Jay and Mark were really great at keeping everyone good with each other, making the set feel like the happiest, most productive place on earth. I had a lot of fun making a whole character that's totally different from me; I got to wear completely different clothes and changed my hair and made up different speech patterns. Between making up a character that's totally unlike myself and Jay and Mark doing the genre totally differently, it was just great.
AC: So where are you with your own work as a writer?
GG: Well, last summer I was working on a play ... but I've put that away for the moment to work on movies. I took on a script-doctoring job ... and right now, I'm working with Alison Bagnall [co-screenwriter on Buffalo '66], writing a script together. But once that's under control, I really want to do another play.
When I write, I like to get myself into a state that's a lot like improv acting, just hearing characters say and do things that surprise me, really try to let discoveries happen and work to keep those things in, warts and all. I think that sort of thing can help actors keep discovering things every night they perform a play. I'm pushing things to a point of draining out what I know or what you could expect, getting to this point of desperation but going beyond it and seeing where that leads. Then I go back and cut out the first part. But I also think now that both acting and writing are really good for the soul. At its best, it's about being really nonjudgmental of yourself or your characters or your story if you're open to it. I think I'd be a lesser writer and a lesser actor if I didn't do both.
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