#the whole effeminate asian man thing is actually a fucking racist stereotype

[nyan-bynary]

imagine thinking that purposefully emasculating and feminizing an asain man that has a clear preference for not being infantilized and talked about like that isn’t in fact racist against asians,,, against asian men specifically even,,,

#mark isn't anyone's 'cute wittwe bunny boy' and he never will be #and the constant insistence to emasculate him is fucking racist #no better than the k-pop fans stanning their 'uwu softboy' 25 year old men #the whole effeminate asian man thing is actually a fucking racist stereotype #like ya drawing mark in dresses n shit is fine but the insistence that he's a little cute baby that loves wearing 'girl' clothes is RACIST #DEEPLY RACIST IN FACT #why do some of y'all have such a problem with him being masculine #I said I wouldn't talk about the drama but I was reminded of the horrid screenshots today dfjkgdfk #ask to tag

[tiergan-vashir]

as someone who genuinely doesn't understand, why is it specifically that liking futa/gay stuff is so bad? some people are assholes about it sure, but there're plenty of people who aren't. what makes it so specifically much worse than liking straight stuff? especially given that futa/trap are 99% of the time not being used for/as actual trans people.

H’okay. I’m going to naively assume you actually want to know why, but I’m also going to shove all of this shit under a cut, because it’s going to be very, very long I’m pretty sure people are likely tired of seeing this by now and it might even be triggering for some folks.

The TL;DR of it all is that:

Fetishizationdoesn’t exist in a bubble - it propagates harmful stereotypes and ideas that hurt living people. So even though you’re probably using those words and phrases to describe your ERP video game smut character and not a living, breathing trans or intersex person - by helping keep those words commonplace and in use by others, you’re helping spread stereotypes and ideas that harm real, live people.

Even if you - yourself - are not using the word to describe actual trans folks, you’re normalizing it’s usage and some other dumb fuck you may have been interacting with WILL use it to describe an actual trans person.

All people want is Respect. Respect for their bodies. Respect for their life experiences and struggles. Respect as fellow humans. If you can’t give them that over some shit you really really want to use for your ERP cat girl smut in your japanese vidya games, then you’re honestly just a dick. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Massive trigger warning for me talking candidly about all of the above.

Fujoshi and the “gay stuff”

A quick disclaimer.  I’m not a gay man.  I’m a pansexual nonbinary person.  I don’t feel super comfortable speaking as any kind of authority figure at all on a topic that veers so closely to gay male experiences.  I’m going to speak on what I’ve heard, directly, from actual gay men I’ve spoken to and what I’ve seen with my own two eyes.  However, other gay men might have different opinions than what I’ve written here and if it differs from my words,  those words have more weight, because … ya know, this is their lives.  They’re the authority on their own life experiences.There’s next thing I want to get out of the way is that not “gay stuff” that’s bad.   There’s nothing wrong about being gay.

People explicitly mention fujoshi, because they’re essentially yaoi-super-fans.  Yaoi in particular gets a bad rap, because while I’m sure some exist that depict healthier, more realistic relationships - a whole lot of them simply reduce gay men down to sexual objects for the pleasure of straight women (it’s written by and for straight women after all) and often comes packaged with A LOT of harmful ideas on gay relationships that don’t actually have anything to do with what real gay relationships are like.

It would be one thing if every single woman in the universe looked at Yaoi and had the immediate understanding that “the shit I’m seeing in my japanese anime mangos about two slender effeminate men categorizing themselves by uke and seme while doing the horizontal mambo with pretty questionable consent practices and having hands WAY too large to be human is pretty divorced from the reality of what actual gay male relationships are like. I should not bother any actual living gay man with this stuff and I should respect them as people.”

But again - fetishization doesn’t exist in a bubble.  While some consumers of yaoi have enough awareness not to be gross about it, there are WAY too many others who get very accustomed to seeing gay men and their bodies purely as objects for sexual gratification - not people to be respected.  Some of them even still consider gay men and gay relationships “sinful and forbidden” - and their yaoi characters as their “sinful gay babies!” that are only acceptable within the confines of spank-bank material.

This is where people get pissed.

To rip from a previous post of mine:

I have heard stories from gay male RPers about how fujoshi RPers were super down to RP yaoi shit with them …right up until they found out WHOOPS, wow you are an actual gay man and not a fellow straight woman? No. Sorry. I can’t RP with you. Your lifestyle is sinful and wrong.

Or they see two gay men kissing and cuddling and start talking about those two living, breathing men as though they are some yaoi-comic stereotype with an uke and seme instead of… just regular, actual human beings with complex romantic and sexual lives of their own.

In 2017, a really beautiful animation came out about a young school boy struggling with his budding crush for another boy.  

The joy of seeing really adorable animation showing a rare depiction of young, innocent gay love was temporarily tarnished by the fact that in the beginning there was a flood of comments was about “omg YAOI. IT’S SO GREAT SEEING YAOI.” “ANY OTHER YAOI FANS HERE?” (the comments section has since cleaned up a lot, thankfully, but it definitely happened).  

Any decent human being would’ve seen the animation for what it was - a really sweet animation depicting young love that LGBT folks could actually relate to.  Fujoshi on the other hand had become so accustomed to seeing any romance between two boys or men as material for their sexual fetish, that they couldn’t even turn it off when looking at an animation about one underage minor having a crush on another, two little school boys in a romantic, non-sexual context.  

In those folks’ eyes - those two boys were not seen as sweet characters representing budding gay love that lots of LGBT folks could relate to - they immediately became objects for sexual consumption.

This is not to say that anyone who is writing a character that doesn’t align with their own gender/sexuality is an immediate shitlord.  

I’m a pansexual nonbinary person writing a pansexual cis male dude in a very LGBT FC.  I don’t really write or draw Tiergan in too many sexual or romantic contexts to start with, just because of the way his character is. 

When I did do so however, I noticed I was fine drawing or writing heterosexual romances with my character, but when it came to anything remotely approaching Tiergan being intimate with men - I was intensely anxious about making any of my gay/bi male FC-mates uncomfortable.  My FC-mates are awesome people and their feelings are important to me. I wanted to honour those feelings and their life experiences.

I ended up just talking to folks to see how they felt, what I should do, how I should treat everything.  Of course gay/bi men are all different, because we’re all human and may have different perspectives or feelings on the matter so someone else may feel differently, but what I was told by everyone in all my discussions was that it boiled down to Respect. Treating gay/bi/pan men, their relationships, and their life experiences with the respect they are due and not simply as tools for getting off.

Fujoshi are often not respectful of gay men beyond their use as sexual objects - so why should anyone give them respect in return?

“Trap” and “Futa”

I’m going to go on a limb and assume you’re here because you read this post here.  Where I mentioned the Trans Panic Defense and how actual trans women find the word “trap” triggering because they get beaten to death IRL by cis straight men for “trapping” them.

If that really wasn’t enough, please look at this video by ContraPoints, which gets into more detail about why the word “Trap” is so hurtful from the words of an actual trans woman.

If you actually humored me and watched that video instead of blindly digging in your heels about how bad you want to keep using a word, it should be incredibly clear by now that the word “trap” is really hurtful to trans women and reminds them of the fact that they literally get killed by people just for walking down the street and making some cis dude’s dick tingle in his pants.

To put things in a different context, this is an extreme example, but there was a time the N-word was used regularly.   But now, you likely never do, because you know it’s offensive and hurtful to black people.  What’s the big deal though - right? It’s just a word.

But much like “trap” reminds trans women of the possibility that cis straight men might beat them to death in a fit of “trans panic” and the long history of trans women being viciously murdered even today for “trapping” men with their “trickery”.  The N-word reminds the black community of a long, vicious, painful, hateful legacy of racism, slavery, and oppression. That’s why civilized adults don’t use that word, even as an insult.

If we want a way less extreme example than the N-word, we have words like “Negro” and “Oriental” which are dated and offensive terms for Black and Asian communities respectively in the United States, because in the US it reminds those communities of painful, racist histories.

“Trap” reminds trans people of really bad fucking times. It reminds them that they can be murdered. Just stop using it.

Futa/Futanari, as mentioned in my previous post, literally means “hermaphrodite” which both intersex and trans folk find offensive to be referred to as because it doesn’t actually describe them.  So regardless of whether you’re using the word to describe a trans female character or an intersex person - it’s still offensive to either group, because that’s not what they are.

I’m assuming when you say you don’t use it on actual trans/intersex people, you mean you’re just using Trap/Futa to describe your character falling into a very specific anime hentai bucket.  However, every time you use the word “trap” or “futa”, even if you’re not talking to an actual trans woman - you’re normalizing the idea that it’s totally okay to keep using this word.  And even if YOU are careful not to blurt it out in front of an actual trans person, and use it only in reference to your pretendy-times triple-dicked cat girl character, you can’t count on all your buddies to do the same. Or your buddies’ buddies, or your buddies’ buddies’ buddies - etc.

If you ACTUALLY CARE about the feelings and comfort of trans/intersex folks, then you’ll not use the word “trap” or “futa” anymore, so that it stops being commonly, casually used.  All folks want is respect. Give that to them.

If after all of this, you still at the very least don’t see why using the word “trap” is no bueno despite the history of literal death behind it, I don’t know what to tell you other than that you’re placing greater importance on a singular word to describe your fap material before human beings, and that kinda makes you a dick.

What makes it worse than Straight Stuff?

Let’s do a quick exercise.

You have 10 seconds to think of one commonly used, popular term with the same ubiquity as trap, futa, or yaoi that encapsulates a harmful, fetishistic sexual stereotype specifically about cis straight white relationships.  You can even use Google if you want.

I specify white, because things like “yellow fever” have explicitly to do with race and thus don’t count.

If you can’t think of jack shit, it’s because “cis straight” is considered “normal” by our society - and anything that deviates from that is considered “exotic” or “different” and gets fetishized.  

If you’re a straight person, you likely have NEVER had to deal with someone fetishizing and objectifying you simply for your straightness, because it’s “normal”.  What is there to fetishize? They might objectify you for other reasons, like your gender, your race if you’re PoC, your weight (aka fat fetish), etc.  But being objectified through your straightness - if it happens at all - is so minuscule in comparison to what LGBT folks have to go through on the daily that it is insanely unbalanced.  It’s worse than “straight stuff” because LGBT folks have to go through it WAY, WAY more often than straight people do.

#discourse #tw: transphobia #tw: homophobia #Anonymous