#the way it completely went over my head that i dont know shit about budgeting/forecasting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

worthyourweightinfanfiction · 6 years

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I haven’t posted much about my life for the past month or so, mostly because it’s been a busy time. I started an accountancy apprenticeship in November and the first week was pretty rough - the previous accountancy apprenticeship was a higher level, and the girl who’s mentoring me was part of it, but no-one told her i was doing a level 3 and had no previous experience in accountancy. I’m a month in and I’m still in over my head. I don’t know if I can do it - a lot of what I’m learning doesn’t make sense to me. I thought it might just be the way my mentor is explaining it to me, but I’ve just had my first day of the training section of the apprenticeship (they send me to a college for one day a week) and the morning was fine, but in the afternoon they taught us something I’d researched myself the day before, and somehow I left knowing less about it than I did when I went in.

I’m struggling with it a lot and I don’t know if it’s just because it’s a huge adjustment or if it’s not the right job for me

I went from being unemployed and having no real experience of work (I finished education in June and I’d been looking for work ever since) to working 35 hours a week in a completely new field, plus homework etc. so of course that’s going to be hard - every day so far I’ve been so tired that it’s the hardest thing in the world to keep my eyes open and I keep literally nodding off, like, my head will drop and then I’ll pull it back up. The first week was the worst for that but it’s not improved much in the month since then, and it’s at all times of the day.

I hate not having any work to do because I feel like I’m going to get in trouble for slacking off, but my social anxiety makes it really hard to start interactions with people, so I can’t just ask them for more work because it’s so hard - in any other situation, I’d ask if there was anything else they needed doing, but since their job is to train me, giving me more work to do is using up their time rather than saving it.

I hate getting given work that I don’t fully understand as well - it’s so complex that there’s not really anything that I’ve fully understood so far. It’s a bit worse now my mentor is giving me actual proper work to do because if I screw up it has actual consequences and I can’t take ages with it - even worse, if I screw up, there’s a chance she won’t notice and will submit it, and it’s all submitted under her name so she could get in trouble.

There’s one thing she gave me last week that I just don’t understand - we work for the city council so they’re not allowed to have any leftover budget, so what I’m supposed to do is put the leftover money back into the forecasted budget for the year. So say, for example, I claimed that a building would spend £100k on electricity this year, but then there’s £8k budget leftover at the end of the report for that building, I’d then have to add that budget to one of the expenses, eg. electricity, so I’d claim that the amount they would spend on electricity this year would actually be £108k

Honestly now I’ve written it out I understand it a bit better, and ultimately the monthly budget forecasts don’t mean very much once the next months budget forecast comes out. I don’t fucking know

I really dont. i wish there was some way of knowing what you’re supposed to do for a career. Like a school, when it comes to the time to choose which subjects to do for GCSE or A Level (I’m not sure what the equivalent is in other countries, they’er the exams you do when you’re like 15 and when you’re 17/18) if you got shit grades at geography and great grades at history, it was right there on paper that you should choose history, not geography. If you loved physics and hated art, even if your grades were similar, you’d know to take physics if you had to choose between the two. With careers, there are too many options, I can’t even just choose a few and give them all a try because it’s so hard to get a job these days, let alone a few jobs in different sectors for short amounts of time.

I forgot how helpful writing this stuff out is, my brain feels a little bit less messed up, like I’ve explained it to myself or something

Ideally, I’d like a job that either pays well or has progression opportunities that pay well, that I’m good at or can learn to be good at, that I’m reasonably comfortable doing (more difficult than it sounds with my mental health but usually just means I can’t work in a call centre because the idea of calling people up all day makes me want to Literally Be Dead), and that I enjoy, but I know that in this market that’s extremely difficult and that beggars can’t be choosers.

Either way, I have to finish this apprenticeship whether I like it or not. Seeing as no-one at work seems to know anything about my apprenticeship, all I know is that I have at least a year left of the level 3, and if i want to continue after it, there’s a level 4 that I can do. I have to stay until the end of the level 3 at least.

#personal #personal post #havent seen one of these in a while have you?

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