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#the thing abt rain is that it can be So nice but optimal rain happens almost never and it usually sucks
ssaalexblake · 1 month
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The whole idyllic thing where apparently it's so Nice to fall asleep to rainfall sounds when in reality it sounds like some asshole is throwing tons of tiny rocks at your window really hard to deliberately annoy you while you're trying to get some sleep
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twinkskeletons · 5 months
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okay first off, love you <333 and secondly, it’s gonna. well i can’t promise it’s gonna get better tomorrow or next week but it might, you never know!!! that’s the thing about us (rock bottom sue eye cide craving 20-somethings), things can’t really get much worse anyway so! the only way is up! (<- me forcing myself into optimism so i don’t kms)
what i can promise is that your life isn’t meaningless, waking up isn’t meaningless, getting up isn’t meaningless. hell, staying in bed isn’t meaningless. not in the context of your life, and the things happening around you. and if you think about the context of the universe then all of it is meaningless anyway so might as well reduce it down until you find meaning! otherwise what would be the point of art and literature and music and nature? it’s not gonna matter in the end, but it matters NOW. and so do you. bc how else are you gonna experience all that?
“inherent worth to your life” arguments never worked on me, honestly, and neither did “but the ppl whose lives you make better :(“ ones (they might for you!!!) bc literally they don’t exist really, but what did work on me is realising that kms would mean i wouldn’t get to look at stuff anymore. not read nor write nor listen to music nor rain nor poetry nor watch films and sunrises and birds nesting and the way the sky darkens and the moon. the moon! that big ass rock! illuminated by another’s light and yet the most beautiful thing to lift your eye to! im a bit of a romantic so you know. that worked on me. has been working for like, half a decade now. so you reallllllllllllly gotta find the argument that works on you.
cause there’s stuff that’s important to you, right? reduce it down to that, if you have to, for now, even if it’s one thing. love that one thing with everything you have. it’s gonna get easier to breathe. so breathe. breathe when it’s easy, and breathe extra hard when it’s hard. i believe in you!!!!!!!! “meaning” is so fucking vague anyway. who decides that shit!!! who cares!!! the most important part is that inside you there’s a beating heart whose pumping is testament to the love you feel for whatever it is. there’s meaning in that, i can definitely promise that.
this got. extraordinarily long. so im sorry for giving you the choice to read all that cause really, you don’t have to. but i hope it helps, like, just a little, to recategorize and breaaatheeeeeee. xo
waugh this is so nice thank u :’) i think my biggest problem is that im just. so alone and that will never change and can really only get worse when my entire family disowns me for being trans. only time i talk to people im not related to is when im threatening suicide on tumblr lolll and i kind of dont know how to interact with people outside of that anymore.. not sure i ever did actually my experience with the three friends i made in high school was sitting and listening to them talk to each other and never saying anything myself which. doesn’t really translate to online very well. ur right though there are at least two things i care abt my dogs and my art so i guess i just need 2 really focus on those 👍 keep making merch and planning that potential artist alley table
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Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.4
I swear folks once I get this and the last part up I’m gonna condense it all
But yeah couldn’t resist some <3
Zhang and Wu Chat
Wu Xie: Um. I’m all done with the shower if you want a turn.
Zhang Qiling: I’m alright without one.
Wu Xie: sooo are you pissed at me still?
Zhang Qiling: ? I have not been angry with you since the ladder incident.
Wu Xie: you’ve barely said anything since the necklace thingy
Zhang Qiling: I believe it is a long-running joke amongst my friend group that I do not, in fact, say much.
Wu Xie: okay but there are multiple gouges in the tea house walls that would suggest you had somewhat strong feelings today
and I kinda caused the events that sparked said feelings
so just checking in you know
Zhang Qiling: I was not angry so much as I was afraid. More afraid than I’ve been in a long time.
Wu Xie: ??? But it has worked out fine??? Everyone made it out alive and Uncle Erbai gets to feel morally superior to the Zhang family for a while so today was a win overall
Zhang Qiling: I heard you scream. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t get to you right away. Therefore, I was afraid.
Wu Xie: ohhhhh. oh, Xiao Ge. It’s alright now—hey the necklace was actually helping u look out for me:) It’s not like those ppl were actually trying to hurt me, really. Your family isn’t so bad, at least you don’t have any uncles you know of
today was just some big misunderstandings wrapped in some poor life choices. Tbh my memoir title
I feel kind of stupid for screaming but when a glowing necklace wraps itself around your neck it’s a little uhoh moment lol
I did like the design tho def my aesthetic.
Zhang Qiling: I am pleased that it was able to protect you when I was not.
Wu Xie: Uh no you are not allowed to get all emo abt this it’s only like 3pm
damn time flies when it’s flashing before your eyes lol
Are you on the roof? You’re def on the roof. I thought I heard the tiles moving over my head. Come down or I’m coming up.
Zhang Qiling: I will be down in a moment. Do not come outside, it’s cold and raining.
Wu Xie: you know, Zhang Rishan said he thinks the necklace might be linked to you, somehow
something from long ago, even though you wouldn’t remember it.
It’s lucky that it liked me, huh:)
Zhang Qiling: Yes. Quite lucky.
Babysitters Club Chat
Wang Pangzi: AWW LOOK AT HIM NAPPING ON YOUR SHOULDER SO CUTE. BEBES HAD A BIG DAY. YOU TWO ARE PRECIOUS. BE GOOD AND POSE FOR THE PICTURE NOW.
Zhang Qiling: No. Also, I am considering what steps I should take with Zhang Rishan. Regardless of his concern for the Zhang family line, his actions were unacceptable.
Wang Pangzi: HES DROOLING A LITTLE ON YOU WHICH IS LESS CUTE BUT I CAN CROP THAT PART
LOOK I KNOW YOURE STILL PISSED. IM NOT EXACTLY CALM MYSELF, I JUST HAVE WAYS TO SKIRT AROUND TIANZHENS BULLSHIT FILTER THAT YOU LACK
GET ON MY LEVEL
WU ERBAI WILL HANDLE IT, THINGS HAVE SETTLED I THINK
BUT ABOUT THAT NECKLACE
SO INTERESTING HMMM
Zhang Qiling: I am the patriarch of my family. The necklace behaved as I would, apparently, to protect a vulnerable family member. Wu Xie’s bad cold last week activated it, and it responded to a perceived danger to him today. Simple enough.
Wang Pangzi: UH HUH
A FAMILY MEMBER
THE NECKLACE REALLY SAID LOVE WINS
TOLKIEN COULD NEVER
Zhang Qiling: It protected him on a technicality. But I will not allow him to bear the burdens of my family ever again. It has taken so much from him already.
Wang Pangzi: YEAH SURE BLAH BLAH DESTINY BLAH BLAH ANGST
“A TECHNICALITY” WOW WHO SAID ROMANCE WAS DEAD
ANYHOO IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR UR WEDDING RECEPTION SLIDESHOW
YA KNOW DURING MY SPEECH
Friends of Wu Xie Support Group Chat
Hei Yangjing: you’re welcome for everything today<3 I accept PayPal, although of course it is always my honor to assist my friends:)
Wang Pangzi: WE ARENT PAYING YOU SHIT
Zhang Qiling: You did absolutely nothing.
Hei Yangjing: whoa whoa maybe I wasn’t threatening family members or busting up load-bearing walls like some undying divas I could name but I totes helped
or at least I was there for moral support maybe?
Zhang Qiling: The only reason I knew you were there at all was that as I lowered my blade from Zhang Rishan’s neck, I heard the camera click and saw you were taking a selfie making a peace sign, angled to have the two of us in the background.
Xie Yuchen: I saw it on social media just now. The caption is “#greatdaycatchingupwiththelads #blessed”
Wang Pangzi: TBH KIND OF JEALOUS I DIDNT THINK TO DO THAT
Hei Hangjing: okay yeah you see Xiao Ge that is a modern kind of help I should’ve known you wouldn’t be aware
It’s called performance, you wouldn’t understand
it’s a ‘Gram thing
Also it means I’m a great person
Bc letting you handle the situation was my gift to you
Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie mentioned there is something called “blocking ppl” that gets them out of my phone.
Hei Yangjing: nah
Can’t trust that Wu Xie, bae can’t tell a coffin from an urn amirite
it’s not a thing, blocking
Xie Yuchen: It is a thing. I’ll show you later, Zhang Qiling.
Wang Pangzi: YOU BOYS GO GET CLEANED UP AND COME BY AROUND 9 I SNAGGED SOME OF ZHANG RISHANS BOOZE ON THE WAY OUT
Bonnie and Clyde Chat
Hei Yangjing: you looked pretty comfortable in those handcuffs earlier ;););)
Xie Yuchen: Go to sleep, idiot.
Hei Yangjing: You’d have to do something to tire me out ;););)
Xie Yuchen: Are you like this around Wu Xie? Not that I care, I’m just asking.
Hei Yangjing: uh that’s a big nope
First off all Idk when I’ll die but Id prefer it to be on my terms and not at the hands of those other two
Secondly there is a part of me that remembers how adorable he was when he was younger and that makes it weird
(No offense but u were not adorable. He was bebe luke skywalker, you were bebe princess leia I am obvs Han Solo 4lyfe)
Also I’m a little scared that if i flirted with him and he flirted back he’d be better at it.
Xie Yuchen: All valid concerns.
Hei Yangjing: as cute as he is I don’t really wanna tap that.
Xie Yuchen: I see.
Hei Yangjing: do you tho
Main Chat
Wu Xie: okay folks who wants cocoa to top the evening off? I picked some up today:D
Wang Pangzi: UH YOU SPENT YOUR DAY BEING KIDNAPPED AND PLACATING A SENTIENT NECKLACE WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO GET GROCERIES
FRANKLY THATS INTIMIDATING
Wu Xie: the tea house gift shop:)
Wang Pangzi: …YOU BOUGHT COCOA FROM YOUR KIDNAPPERS. FROM THEIR GIFT SHOP. DURING YOUR KIDNAPPING.
WU XIE
WU XIE WHY
Wu Xie: I mean we were there the whole day, it felt impolite not to buy anything.
Wang Pangzi: OH RIGHT GREAT POINT ID HATE TO BE RUDE TO THEM AFTER THEY WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF ABDUCTING US
LISTEN WHEN PPL STEAL YOU IT BECOMES FREE REIGN ON THEIR SHIT
UGH YOU PROBABLY GOT A RECEIPT AND EVERYTHING
WAS UR LITTLE SHOPPING TRIP BEFORE OR AFTER THEY STUCK U IN A DUNGEON TO EXPERIMENT ON YOU
WAIT NVM I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT
Wu Xie: look, let’s focus on the positives/ we are all okay, and we learned something new, that necklace is still active! It’s really quite nice-looking when it isn’t moving of its own volition.
Wang Pangzi: YOU AND YOUR RELENTLESS DUCKING OPTIMISM
ZHANG QILING ARE YOU SEEING THIS
Zhang Qiling: I would love some cocoa. I’ll come to the kitchen.
Wu Xie: I have special marshmallows for you!!
Wang Pangzi: I SEE
WE ARE SUBSCRIBING TO THE PRESTIGIOUS “FUCK IT WHY NOT” SCHOOL OF THOT TONIGHT
LOL SURE LETS GO COCOA IT UP
IVE GOT SOMETHING STRONG TO POP IN IT
Wu Xie: Still thinking about that design… I’d love another chance to examine that necklace under less Zhangy circumstances.
Kinda sad we couldn’t borrow it to use for illnesses and dangerous missions :/
ah well it’s for the best, a family heirloom should be treasured, preserved and protected<3
Zhang Qiling: I put it on your dresser.
Wu Xie: ???????
Wang Pangzi: AND THATS WHY YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS, XIAOGE <3
Wu Xie: I—
Zhang Qiling: Are those bunny-shaped marshmallows for me?
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