#the secrets I have to grieve

[ohprcr]

[octopath traveler 2 spoilers]

if the gods are ever so merciful, then why did they take everything from me?

#octopath traveler 2 #octopath traveler 2 spoiler #spoiler #temenos mistral #crick wellsley #mine #LISTEN i finished the endgame (minus secret boss bc i have no chance against it lol) #since i'm playing as Temenos i think it's just fitting that the first and final fight are the same... like he is THE main character #man should be allowed to grieve more though so i'm doing just that #silly little game that makes me cry

[daijoboob]

ohhhhhh kanochisaren/liella art dump!!!

this is all stuff i posted on twitter this past year! i've been more active there these days out of laziness///

check out @.Daijoboob for more regular posting from me, art related and not!

#love live #love live superstar #love live! superstar!! #liella #kanochisaren #kanoren #chisaren #kanochisa #kanon shibuya #shibuya kanon #chisato arashi #arashi chisato #hazuki ren #ren hazuki #yuri #OMG I FORGOT THAT I CAN LEAVE NOTES IN TAGS ON HERE #uhhhh the first image was about chisato being randomly cool and handsome every so often #the second one was me having a butch indulgence moment #4th has orange hearts bc it's secret kanoren #and the 5th one is an au where chisato dies and returns as a guardian angel for her grieving gfs #i want to draw so much more but i have so little time :'))) #daijoboob #ahhhh so i just learned that the image limit is now 30 instead of 10 #i could talk more about everything....just ask <3

[llycaons]

'poor heroic tragic saint jiang cheng' is actually my favorite jc misinterpretation it is just so fucking funny. I'll watch the man advocate to abandon a group of political prisoners to state-sanctoined genocide, constantly yell about his issues, threaten his nephew and everyone else around him, and abuse his power to intentionally trigger his traumatized brother bc he's mad at him and I go online and see posts about how he's so strong and noble and a great parent/leader despite suffering so much. LIKE

#did he at one point have good intentions and noble goals? yes #did he suffer? oh yeah #did he sacrifice? and was it a secret? you betcha #did this make him into a stoic hero who never talks about his own suffering but just supports his people/protects his nephew? no fucking wa #that man is so self-centered and fixated on his own grievances that he spent over a decade trying to permakill his brother #AFTER HIS BROTHER ALREADY COMMITTED SUICIDE #and he taught his sister's son to hate their brother even KNOWING how much jyl loved wwx and how much she considered them all family #bc he's more interested in his own gratification and his own anger and grieve rather than jyl's wishes or her own legacy #or even jl's happiness. fuck #but all we see is him being a dick to jl and constantly reminding him that his parents are dead and it was wwx's fault #he IS protective of him and I love the zidian scene but that's buried under the bs he puts him through #AND THIS IS A GOOD THING!! HE'S A GOOD CHARACTER!! #and it DOES make him a good foil to lwj!! which is an important part of the text!! #ppl will take the exact opposite of what a story is trying to say smh #cql txp

[catty-words]

#not a face cradle or a snot wipe but a secret third thing #(impossibly tender daxton thumb) #never have i ever #devi x paxton #nhieedit #neverhaveieveredit #devi vishwakumar #paxton hall yoshida #devivishwakumaredit #paxtonhallyoshidaedit #gifs by catty #marinara & mint #messy grieving baby queen #goddess of chaos and amazing skirts #catty liveblogs nhie s3: rewatch edition

[martianbugsbunny]

#“my friend who went through everything with me” gives espionage husbands so hard #“they do not know you as I know you” I mean come on #the whole thing just feels so them #idk the she can be Sonya I don't think she would care that talos is dead #kinda hate her lol #but the “I have grieved! is it so impossible to believe?” really feels like nick #the original text is not mine btw but I don't remember the name of the account I got it from which really annoys me #I had the image saved bc it's a whole mood and found myself thinking of it when talos died #espionage husbands #nick fury #talos #talos x nick fury #nick fury x talos #secret invasion #the epic of gilgamesh #martianbugsbunny ships

[cheswirls]

looking @ old fic i started when i was 14/15 is so funny bc im realizing once again why i never mark fics as abandoned even if its been literal years since i've touched them. specifically i was checking docs for stuff i started and either did or didn't post to ffn.

and its like. nothing is bad??? like i can see where my outside-the-box ideal of fic writing comes from. not just fics but writing in general, i'm p sure. even if it's a total cliche plot setup, there are details on each that rly make it stand out like oh yeahhhhhh i did have this great idea once upon a time.

funny too bc was it executed well in prose??? no absolutely not i wrote like shit when i was 15. would i revive an idea one day and revise it to be less cliche or cringy while still keeping the stand-out elements??? yea maybe. i might. everything i'm currently working on that i started from 2021 up to now still holds my supreme interest, but like i'm not gonna say never.

esp since i write fic first and foremost for my own need and specifically what i like to read, it makes it impossible to consider an idea i've thought extensively about "not worth writing anymore". anyway not making this too long i jus found everything interesting to consider

#writing #this fic i pulled up from JUNE 2014 crazy was the old chosenshi au i was trying to write for a friend #i dont ship blue/silver and never will and thats prolly why i never finished it #but i do still like!! the idea of rocket!blue raised w silver and breaking free of tr while running the hoenn branch #no idea how i remembered bc it wasnt in the plot pts on the doc but she was gonna get sent to the battle frontier #to nab jirachi and have encounters w frontier brains and change her mind at the end of it all #hell i could go back and not make it ship fic at all - have silver be a little one-sided obsessed or #even jus like.. attached to blue as a rivalry like as a way to show her up at every turn #another fic around the same time was the old pokespe hs au where i changed all the dexholder's names for some reason #i have no idea where i was in reading spe bc i put lyra in for some reason and had the sinnoh trio even tho i never read past v2 of dp #idk if it was more gameverse or what but its so funny looking @ the ship list n seeing i had gold paired w black #bc i had manga!ss and manga!ferriswheel so was it rly speverse or was i projecting???? #actually i think black was supposed to die and gold was gonna go thru this whole thing abt grieving #looking at the ship list so funny bc i never shipped gold/crys or entourageshi #and clearly i did not know the superiority of pmshi if i threw lyra in jus for silver #god but i do love (most!) of the alt names i gave them #would absolutely fuck up the ship list if i ever redid it tho #also have perfectworld tho im sure i have the most recent rewrite on pen and paper somewhere #that one i also gave up bc the idea i had for flare!sycamore was cringe along with #every time i went back to work on it enough time passed that i thought my writing sucked #i rewrote that damn thing so many times but oooooooo i still love the idea #as long as i changed the cringe parts to smth better i could still rock w most of these #that fic rly had everything... psychic!korrina. leaf/serena. sycamore hacking the secret to mega evo. lys/syc that ends in failure #bc of the ending line i will never forget > only in a perfect world could you and i be together. destined and doomed from the start #im rambling n im boutta run outta tags gimme a sec

[deansmom]

I keep circling back to the people saying that Gaza is complicated, doesn’t isr*el have a right to defend itself, etc etc - and just… yes, the history between these two groups of people, is Complicated. But THIS? Literal war crimes, every member of the UN except for us wanting to stop it, entire bloodlines being wiped from the face of the earth???? THAT isn’t complicated. That isn’t nuanced and y’all sound goofy as hell.

When it’s yt guys with g*ns, it’s a mental health crisis.

When it’s innocent Palestinian people being m*rdered, the guys aiming the b*mbs have a right to defend themselves against their own hostages? When they don’t seem to have made any sort of effort to get the people they’re supposedly fighting for back, and instead are just indiscriminately b*mbing the place that they think they’re being held???? When it’s them, it’s “well don’t you think they have a right to defend themselves?” “What were they supposed to do?” “Oh so you’re antisemetic?”

1000+ children have been killed in less than two weeks. They’ve (allegedly) b*mbed hospitals. Again, they told them to evacuate and then b*mbed the evacuation routes. If you still think this is complicated or nuanced, you’ve fallen for the propaganda. Congratulations.

The other side of this coin back here on the home front: non yt people I’m not gonna tell you how to conduct yourselves during the next presidential election. It’s not my place.

Fellow 👋🏼 colored people: we’ve got a hell of a lot of power because of the color of our skin. Those of you who claim to support Palestine, I expect to see all of you calling, emailing, tweeting, protesting, sending letters and post cards and whatever other forms of communication, etc etc to your representatives and the president. Because there’s a reason that they’re doing what they’re doing, but if we’re loud enough they might listen to us. They’re not going to listen to our BIPOC friends as easily, so get off your ass and use our yt privilege for some good in the world instead of just ranting about not voting for our current president and equally ranting about how BIPOC are going to destroy our democracy if they don’t vote for him. That’s not productive. That’s not helpful. You have a voice yt people in power might listen to, so fucking use it for once.

A US b*mb was dropped on the West Bank yesterday/last night. Our tax dollars are funding a g*nocide. You should be furious that people in this country can’t afford to buy groceries, and they’re spending our tax dollars k*lling children and assisting in war crimes. What the hell is wrong with you people.

#it’s complicated my ass 🤨 #anyways! call your representatives! call the White House! there’s scripts out there! #do not tell marginalized people how to protest and be angry and grieve the atrocities we’ve committed against them you fucking weirdos #🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 #personal #genocide TW // #I’m just so angry and I have to be NORMAL?? I have to sell dog food??????? #we have holiday toys out and I just want to put a sign under the Hanukkah display ‘free Palestine support Jewish people’ or sth #every person who comes in and is all chipper I want to be like WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU #every report I have to send to my boss I just. there are so many bigger things going on guys. does this really matter? #can’t the secret shop questions wait???????

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

anyway so im rewriting the specials to get yaz in there right and you kinda need her out of the way for wild blue yonder so im keeping her in the tardis to do the manual part of the repairs i guess but just the idea of yaz being There but Just out of sight but very much like,,,,Present, as an agent in the story, while this interaction happens:

which is then Immediately followed by the tardis with her inside Disappearing, just lends a whole lot of fuckin,,,,,,,depth of flavour that you really dont even need to do anything for

#the hardest part of this is figuring out the donna&yaz dynamic for me #i cant write donna ive never written donna #i feel like donna would be sooort of approaching yaz like she approached martha back in s4 #but i dont think yaz would be as receptive to that as martha #bc yaz. is. in much the same state as the doctor is. in terms of trauma and running on fumes and lets just keep running and not talking #except that she /didnt/ just regenerate to become weirdly honest about her affections #she still loyal devoted 'shes fine shes fine' never told anyone running from home just said goodbye to one of her best friends #And also to maybe her first real romantic love who Died But Didnt #dealing with all of that as quietly as shes dealt with alll the rest of it up till now #thrown into this situation where she knows no one and the doctor knows everyone and everyone knows the doctor but she knows no one not even #this doctor #all that just to say. i dont think she'd be very friendly with donna #polite. mostly. probably. but also having lots of feelings #that are gonna be...........difficult..........i think for all three of them to deal with #bc donna doesnt know what shes dealing with in terms of doctor/yaz #maybe she assumes a friend. or else a rose or a martha situation. bUT. yaz is none of those #yaz isnt making hearteyes or Yearning In Secret at this point yaz is grieving and also i think trying to figure out her place #shes more of a river situation. not really. comparison doesnt entirely work. but like. river in the library. vaguely #more that than the secret crush thing that it was #and the doctor knows Exactly whats going on with yaz but yknow. Busy. and they havent really had a moment alone to talk abt it #if theyre gonna talk abt it #and donna is pushing the doctor in their familiar dynamic and yaz is just sort of...........squished between that #trying to stand her ground while not even really knowing where or what that ground even IS #anyway so. tldr. Complicated #complicated dyanmic and complicated to balance so i dont sacrifice any of the doctor&donna stuff #which might happen a little anywaybc i have a clear yaz bias but im trying to mitigate it as much as i can

[dilf-phoenix-rights]

People really bend over backwards to minimize how important Iris was to Phoenix, or try to make her mistakes seem infinitely worse than Edgeworth’s and it’s just like. The biphobia and sexism is showing.

#‘I don’t like that he forgives her in the end’ #well than you shouldn’t like that he forgives Edgeworth for almost getting him convicted and for letting him grieve him for a year #‘She’s hardly better than her sister’ #what Iris did was certainly morally questionable at best but she did it specifically to try to reduce the harm her sister was doing #would it have been better to turn her in? yeah but the reason she didn’t was because she loved Dahlia; #they were sisters and she pitied how Dahlia was raised #she never wanted to hurt anyone #Yeah Edgeworth thought he was doing the right thing under Von Karma’s teachings but he also was very much willing to actively hurt ppl #(refer back to turnabout sisters where he very much knew the trial was rigged in his favor on that 2nd day #but he still prosecuted Phoenix in the same way he did before because being a ‘perfect prosecutor’ is his moral compass at that point) #I’m not saying Iris has to be your favorite character #if she makes you uncomfortable that’s fine #but to argue that she is unforgivable while simultaneously adoring Edgeworth is hypocritical #there’s a reason they are clearly paralleled in bridge to turnabout #and ppl who just try to minimize how much Phoenix actually cared about her in narumitsu fics: that’s just biphobia. #or it’s just an unhealthy idea that no one can have relationships that mattered that just didn’t work out. #ALSO Phoenix forgiving Iris is a healing moment for him! #like the ‘you are the person I thought you were’ is Phoenix realizing the person he loved wasn’t just a lie!! #obviously it never should have been a secret in the first place #but he forgives her for the same reason he forgives Edgeworth #because he knew their hearts years ago and he now knows the pain that lead to their mistakes #and that’s the kind of person he is. #regardless of if that’s relatable to you or not

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

the girlies all having Girls House summers and enjoying their tunes meanwhile I'm losing my mind over a guy I literally work with

#I'm also enjoying my tunes but in a secret different way (grieving and hoping and grieving and hoping) #Lu rambles #sighhhh hang on I have another really funny post to make tonight akskdkdkfnsk #cruel summer? no. cool summer

[satosuguhastakenovermylife]

you know it really is a crisis when you write poetry about it

#ps I haven't written poetry in years because despite having tons of ideas I suck at execution so hard #but I'm trying #the one I've written so far is super disorganised ugh I don't like it but I don't want to scrap it #another idea I had was a poem where grief is like a secret lover or something who is inherently seen as a bad thing but one finds solace i #it even though it's messing them up more but it's bittersweet kinda until they succumb to it #and while succumbing they grieve what they were losing when they die and find what had once been lost (what they once grieved) #but I'm having so much trouble putting it into words but #I'll try.

[demenior]

Belated wip Wednesday:

Fealty Eadwulf and Jester are just so 🥺💕 to me:

“Do you feel safe with me? I want you to feel safe with me.”

Eadwulf’s brows furrow into his trademark scowl, “keeping you safe is my job.”

“No, you take care of Fjord. Who takes care of you?”

Eadwulf scowls at the floor. Jester wonders if he heard her. Then, he glances up, realizes she’s still watching him, and stares at the floor. His scowl breaks.

“…you did. With the pirates.”

“And the healing,” she adds. It strikes her that she’s never hesitated to use her healing magic on him. The rest of the Nein always teased her about being reluctant to waste spells, but it’s never crossed her mind to not heal Eadwulf. The only person she does that to is Fjord.

Eadwulf nods silently.

“Did Astrid take care of you?”

The furrow in his brows is back, but it’s not for his usual scowl.

“Our methods are different.”

“How?”

Eadwulf glances at the blankets strung up over their heads, “not so much coddling.”

Jester stifles a giggle at the thought of Astrid and the other Scourgers making blanket forts. It’s like putting a funny hat on a lion. “No blanket forts?”

Eadwulf’s face relaxes to the point it may even be called a smile, “no.”

“And you took care of her?”

Eadwulf shrugs, “she is the Master. That is my job.”

“I think your Master is supposed to take care of you. Or else what good are they?”

Eadwulf’s shoulders come up, “Trent trained us well. We’re not soft. We don’t need pampering. Don’t mistake me for human.”

“You keep saying that.”

#Eadwulf baby... #i adore the two of them talking #bc jester has like no head for intense metaphors and piles of baggage #she just cuts to the heart of stuff #and can't help but state things so plainly you wanna rethink ur whole life #eadwulf grieve #jester lavorre #wip #he's so protective of astrid even tho they're clearly having Issues #(the whole: Eadwulf had to flee the Empire bc he was gonna kill her deal. which he. did not want to kill her. #Volstrucker have rituals. the rituals are intricate.) #anyways. he still won't speak a bad word abt Astrid #even though it probably would help if he talked about what went wrong between them #bc clearly SOMETHING did!!!! #Eadwulf please share ur secrets #you pull one secret out of Eadwulf #and it's like pulling a scarf from a magician #its tied to another one and another one and another one etc etc

[eeunwoo]

.

#I know my dog passing away is my moms loss too but like. she got totally wasted and now I have to sorta look after her while I’m grieving #as well. I’m like explaining every step to her like to a child. having to relive his last moments and why he had to be put down. to try and #rid her of her guilt because she had to sign the papers even though I would’ve if he was registered under my name #(I was a minor when we brought him to england so we couldn’t do it under my name) #and it’s genuinely not a secret that I’m the person my dog was closest to ever we spent the most time together I was his owner and bestie #so it seems a bit backwards that I’m sitting here having to comfort my drunk mother while she’s wailing ‘what am I gonna do without my toto’ #when she sees him for an average of 3 or 4 hours a day #I know that’s awful I’m not trying to say the love is less but I just want to be allowed to grieve him peacefully without having to take #care of a 50 year old in the process #mrow.org

[littleragondin]

"It doesn't make sense P'Payoo, you should get him to the hospital!"

Oh I see where the braincell was in last week's episode. Thank you Sun for endorsing the heavy, but necessary, role of Captain Obvious for us.

#look I don't blame Payoo #dude spent the last 3 months alone with a man slowly losing his memory #while he's himself either grieving his lover #or tending to him in secret in that mysterious barn bar I'm not so sure #so I can imagine his decision making game is not at its best #but also #how did you think having 8 uninformed college kids come to your secret house like it is an end of the year beach trip #was somehow LESS risky than paying and flying in a medical doctor #that show is absolutely fantastic goodness me #Oh my sunshine night

[specialagentartemis]

The thing about Khora podcast is. It’s one of those podcasts that’s almost really good and I feel like it would be so good if it trusted itself more and leaned more into the moral grayness and showing-rather-than-telling what our characters are feeling.

#Also if I didn’t have to listen to a whole episode of Andromeda And Medusa Go On A Cute Picnic Date which felt like it mostly just #stopped the momentum of the story completely for Two Nice Lesbians Model Healthy Relationships #Let Andromeda be the brash and cocky and sometimes selfish space pirate she clearly wants to be! #Or else play her depth of perfect mental health knowledge and sensitivity as a deliberate character thing! #Honestly lying secret-keeping grieving backstabbing hurting conflicted Medea feels like she belongs to a whole different story

[patrice-bergerons]

Some USAmericans' reactions to the death of this journalist is giving me big 'Havana syndrome' vibes

#can i prove there was no foul play involved sitting in my flat? of course not. #but #people do die suddenly sometimes. #and idk how the cost benefit math would make sense to qatar? #like assassinate one *american* journo in the middle of an intl tournament when all eyes are on them and for what? #sure the dude seems to have been asking uncomfortable questions but it's not as if migrant deaths are a secret? #seeing it and immediately assuming foul play smacks so badly of american exceptionalism imo #where yall think the world revolves around you 🤷‍♂️ #reasonable people who are just grieving a public figure you liked this post is not at you