#the primate hyperfixation has returned | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blubushie · 6 months

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Opinion on criptids? not including yeti, Yowie, bigfoot, or similar ape beings.

Aha! I'm talking about primates anyway.

Lucky you, cryptids are a former hyperfixation of mine. What else is a bored kid in the Outback supposed to do except obsessively read his book on cryptids and plot journeys to discover them?

Disclaimer: reason I'm not mentioning some obvious cryptids here (cough chupacabra cough) is because I'm not including cryptids that are likely misidentifications of other things (like how chupacabras are most likely coyotes and dogs with severe mange).

Listen, I've seen a yahoo. Maybe those yams went bad and I was just hallucinating. Maybe my childhood vivid visual hallucinations kicked back in for one evening. I don't know. All I'm saying is that I find it very interesting that practically every culture and continent on the planet has a story about large, hairy, ape-like beings that walk on two legs and have similar behaviours of reclusiveness, evasion of humans, piling things in their environment, knocking things like wood and stones, and chucking things at people who get too close. Also a lot of them supposedly pong quite a bit.

Almost like we had a distant ancestor that evolved and maybe spread around the globe some 300,000 years ago before humans even evolved...

Also Aboriginal Australians and Papuans have DNA from a, as of now, unknown human species. We have no idea what the fuck it is but it's presumed to be a situation similar to how European humans mated with Neanderthals (and eventually assimilated them into the human genome to the point of extinction). This coupled with so many mobs having stories about yahoos stealing away women in the night? I ain't saying nothing besides something's crook in Tallarook.

Anyway! If there's anything out there it's probably in the ocean. I'm keen to believe that maybe there's a freshwater plesiosaur somewhere in Loch Ness since plesiosaurs did travel from ocean to estuary to brackish water to freshwater and then out of the rivers back to the sea again. And with fully-freshwater plesiosaurs being likely, who's to say they didn't end up in the Loch? Well, science, since the Loch only formed by melting glaciers about 10,000 years ago and is completely landlocked, but fuck that we're talking cryptozoology! I think it's more than feasible that some juvenile plesiosaurs (much like crocodiles) survived the meteors and continued to reproduce... Just not in the Lock. I've been on the open ocean. I believe in sea monsters.

I'm fully convinced of the Blue Mountains panther because I've found the fucking tracks. No, dipstick I mentioned it to one time in person, big cat tracks look nothing like fucking dingo tracks.

Megalodons. Cliché, I know, but hear me out. A lot of people think that Megalodons pulled a colossal squid situation and went deep. I don't think so. See, Megalodons wouldn't have remained at a 15m size in the depths. There's too much pressure at deepwater, and the amount of food they'd need to maintain that level of mass without starving is much higher than the amount of food available at that depth. They'd need to feed so often that they'd defo be spotted because even colossal squid arise from the depths at night to feed, though they still remain pretty deep.

So deepwater? No. HOWEVER. However. A Greenland shark situation where Megalodon gradually evolved to maintain colder body temperatures and moved to the geographic poles to feed, remaining under the ice caps? More likely. Additionally the colder waters would mean that the Megalodon's metabolic rate would be incredibly slow to the point they'd only need to some up to the surface maybe once every six months to make a kill and then return, unpotted, to the darkness to digest. Now if only there were large, blubbery, calorie-rich prey items big enough to sustain a 15m apex predator's nutritional needs in frigid waters. Oh, if only the Megalodon had specifically evolved to hunt these large, blubbery, calorie-rich prey items... Hmm...

There's something in Lake Champlain. There's been recorded echolocations of an unknown animal. Do I think it's a plesiosaur? No. Do I think it's a freshwater dolphin or other caetacean? Yes.

The thylacine still exists somewhere in Tasmania.

Aliens.

Other miscellaneous ones I think are real are:

British big cats. Escaped/released exotics, especially after the 1976 Dangerous Wild Animals Act. There was even a puma caught alive in 1980 near Cannich in Scotland. She was named Felicity after her capture. You can read more about her and other (Scottish) big cats here.

Eastern cougars, Puma concolor couguar, haven't kicked the bucket yet.

Queensland tiger is either a surviving small population of mainland thylacines or a bloody Thylocaleo population that survived to the modern day. (They also might just be tree kangaroos though--far more likely.)

Min-Min Lights (I've seen them)

Zanzibar leopard. This was a leopard subspecies that lived on Unguja Island in Zanzibar, Tanzania. They went extinct in the mid-1990s after a bounty program enforced by the government and due to habitat loss. A living leopard was recorded on camera in 2018, but scientists keep whinging about how it's probably just a feral African leopard that was introduced to Zanzibar. I pity the hopeless.

Malagasy hippo. Supposedly gone extinct ~1,000 years ago, the last known sighting was 1976.

Aliens (again)

Humanity's greatest sin is thinking ourselves so wise that nothing remains a mystery to us.

#blu whos #cryptozoology

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