#the one time she told me to my face if she couldve aborted me she would have. making comments on my body and just

[salsflore]

⠀

#cw negative #its not that bad i just need 2 rant for a bit #because like why does my mother say such ridiculous shit sometimes #i went to go wash my dish and she said ah youre finally doing the dishes .. LIKE i try to but what do i do when my brother insists on doing #it everytime ! and takes it from my hands and blocks the sink and he’ll make a big fuss if i don’t let him do it ! #like literally scold me and tell me to put it down or else he’ll get irritated #i lightheartedly told her that and then she was like well yeah you're still a woman then went on about how its the womans job to [ . . . ] #its really the small things like that i think. she has such outdated beliefs. i hear her saying things like its the womans job to take care #of the house and her man and etc and i'm like ok i Know i literally won't win if i try to do so much as nudge her #but then she also talks about other things that just irk the shit out of me !!! the rapture abortion etc #the one time she told me to my face if she couldve aborted me she would have. making comments on my body and just #i don't hate her. overall we have a good relationship. but its just these small things and her gross outdated beliefs and how gullible she #can be and stuff like that. she tells me i have such an easy life but i can't bear to tell her i was ever suicidal or ever self harmed #because i KNOW she'd tell me i'd go to hell if i ever tried to kill myself #i know this wholeee thing might be really intense and sad and stuff but i'm totally okay /gen i'm just! awfully irritated #thinking back on all those dumbass things she's said and done like. agh;; #its not her fault i think ive noticed a lot of filipina women (or at least the ones around me) tend to hold those beliefs so she was prolly #taught these as a child but . come on!! im so tired of the misogynistic shit she says and . ugh #cw self harm mention #cw suicide mention

[thelifeofcal-blog1]

2018

No ones ever going to read this but ehh who cares. My 2018 was a fcked up one lol. First lets start off with how my ex bf got another girl pregnant. we were together and he left out of nowhere. Turns out he got a psychotic ass chick pregnant. after finding that out i was in two car accidents in one week. Then he came back to me and lied to my face about it; we ended up getting back together and obvi there was makeup and i miss sex.. when he finally told me the truth, i didnt yell, i wasnt mad at all, i was just hurt. i was crying my eyes out non stop. Not once was i ever angry at him for everything he did to me. Why? because i loved him with all of my heart.. After finding out from him (finally the truth) i was just super emotional. LIterally crying my eyes out all day every damn day, and i would literally get mad for no reason, like if someone didnt turn off the light or something lol BUT little did i know I WAS PREGNANT TOO. anyways, the girl showed up to my house in the middle of the night looking for him (told yall, shes a crazy bitch)[another side note, i was never friends with this girl so how tf does she know where i live????] , i spoke to her outside of MY house for about an hour i hugged her while she cried and all of that. she tried to convince me to leave him, but dumbass didnt know that we were engaged and we were a team (or so MY dumbass thought). She was going to get an abortion but when she found out me and him were back together, she kept the baby. Oh and btw he had already given her about $400 so she could have it done. but she changed her mind because she was obsessed with him and wanted to have him all to herself :). a little while after that, i found out i was pregnant. everyone was so happy. until i had a miscarriage. i thought he was the loml and all of that other teenage love bullshit.. he walked out 2 days after i lost the baby and got back with the other girl he swore he hated. I lost all of my friends, some family members and my little angel all in the same month. He’s living a picture perfect life now with his family, while im stuck here with the pain of everything. not a day goes by where i dont think of what things couldve been like. i know everything happens for a reason, but holy shit this shit hurts a lot. he walked out when i needed him the most. He walked away so easily and as if nothing, and thats what fucks me up the complete most. this boy literally swore he loved me,but yet is having a child with another girl.. oh and btw it might not even be his but now he “loves” her and all of this other stuff.

p.s. this is all over the place because its a rant lol but give me some time and ill have the correct timeline with fascinating details :))

#guysaintshit