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alberteamllc · 5 years

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Father’s Day, Part I: 9/4/2019

Starring Flinty McClintock Bon Jean Bovi Ardis Sarmasik Featuring Prof. Puffin McClintock Prof. Tavi Feathers Sanuwa Sawbones Vos the Armorer Aparna “Panther” Panchali Astrid Insaatsi Elbise Insaatsi Faris Svette Hologram Hambeaux Mungo Fungo Egg Hogswain Greg Hogswain Syrup Hogswain Suzie Cardinale Beatrice Catamount The Bachelor Guilotte Crevette Prof. Tantrum Weechy Maddie McCallister Tartuffe Eikhorn Ramon Silulimesh Galof Silulimesh Jeanne Klops Peacemaster Cambina Bell Peacemaster Triamond Bell Viceroy Stepan W. Pitchfork Hasdrubal Weil The party is all safe but battered and exhausted after defeating Helena. Their next objective is the Palace, but they’re too worn out for a fight, so they decide to head to the old CC beach-house to recuperate. Things are tense along the way as Vos is defensive and sullen and in no mood for a detour. They joke around a bit on the way, Panther compliments Flinty’s leadership to Ardis and goes over and gifts her with a copy of Robert’s Rules of Order. When they arrive, they find the Royal Family & entourage still there, watching the city descend into chaos across the bay. From the beach, the palace seems to be in troubling shape, surrounded by brambles and vines. Panther describes getting Sonny to flee at the end of their fight, but confesses that she left the situation in the hands of the Bent Nail so she could hurry to the university. Without any buffer around, the queen’s senility is more apparent, and she makes several confused and hostile comments confusing the young adventurers with the old Crystal Cats, even offering to buy Flinty. When the party runs their plan by Astrid, she reminds them that she can manipulate the gates within the palace without any need to fuck around with dangerous items. She volunteers to go with them while Svette stays behind to guard the queen. They all take a quick rest, and talk of Ardis still being in her prom attire, plus Panther’s quick change into her normal uniform, prompts a lot of hassling Flinty about her fashion sense. Everybody gives Ardis a ton of shit for thinking Panther’s real first name is Panther. Meanwhile Vos weedles the queen into letting him extract a vial of blood, explaining that it will reduce the number of sacrifices needed for his plan B. Nobody is happy about this but they fail to get the blood back and soon he sneaks off.

She tells them of a secret tunnel built into the base of the hill decades ago so that the Cats could come and go without causing a public stir. She shares more tales of the old crew, including one about Mungo getting a toe chopped off by a mousetrap, much to Flinty’s delight. While arguing about which of three potentially dangerous routes to take to the various gates inside-- including Panther lying about Flinty’s break-in to protect her-- Bovi remembers he has the skeleton key from the Egg Babies. Flinty becomes insulted and saddened that he got to go to crime prom and she didn’t.

They head back to the beach HQ to try to find an intact enough door to use the key. They find Jeanne’s adolescent bedroom door and warp through it. Once there, tuning into the right pocket of space is difficult, and too much for the queen alone, but Puffin, Flinty, and Bovi combine their efforts with hers and together they have enough time to go in, grab Mungo Fungo, his important lab materials, and get out. He’s sleepy and disoriented but mostly ok. Puffin and Flinty gather up the rest of what they need, and Flinty spots Tavi stealing something but keeps it a secret for now. Outside, Mungo accidentally outs Tavi as a wizard, which she quickly confirms much to the shock of the princess and Panther, who reflexively draws her sword. The princess orders her to attack, but Panther refuses. She then orders Rumble Force to arrest Panther, but they also refuse. Her shock is cut short by Tavi confronting her with an unpleasant truth-- she needs one more spellbook to complete the cure: the princess’ late brother’s, Anselm, whose legacy has already caused so much appalling kerfuffle. The princess silently vanishes through the gate again and after some nervous talk about how to escape if she’s called the guards, she returns with Anselm’s tightly guarded book and tells them to get out before she changes her mind. Mungo consults with the nerds and surprises Flinty by calling her into the huddle. He praises her skill as a fixer and creative problem solver and tasks her with finding a way to make the broken transmitter usable. They decide that in lieu of the big pylon at the university, they can use the apex of the palace as a beacon. Mungo however needs more time to figure out what the cure is actually going to be.

They all head back in a somewhat sullen moon, Panther somewhat suspicious by the sudden revelation about Tavi. She decides to drop off at CC HQ with Sawbones to try to muster reinforcements, and meet up with everyone further uptown shortly. Flinty makes fun of Panther’s awkward flirting with Ardis, so Panther kisses her before leaving, flipping Flinty off with her free hand. Everybody is just a little bit shocked.

Back at the base more survivors have shown up, and the Hogswain boys’ grandma is busy making a hearty dinner. Beatrice, who seems to have gotten over her beef with Flinty, takes her aside to assure her that the halfling prisoners are free, then leads Ardis outside for a talk. She reveals that she has been the Red Justice ever since Benedict’s death, but is becoming too old to safely fill that role anymore and wants to train Ardis as her successor. They talk a bit about what this means and Beatrice is frankly pretty rude. But in the end she gives Ardis her cowl, cloak, and sword, and asks to be left alone with her thoughts.

Flinty heads to the basement to help Nu H.O.T.D.A.D. out, with the two dwarves helping her with the transmitter. Eventually she takes a break to check up on Mungo, who is back in a melancholy mood. They share a drink and talk about leadership and Flinty’s potential. Mungo is worried about the pace she’s pushing herself, and talks her into taking a nap while the rest carry on. He leads her to a cot, makes a pillow out of his scarf, a blanket out of his coat, and gives a final toast to “the parties that Chanchala Chala isn’t in.” As he leaves and Flinty drifts off he wishes her good night, accidentally referring to her as ‘Mingo.

Upstairs, Panther has returned with Guilotte, Jeanne, and the Bachelor for some reason. Guilotte goes to enjoy Bovi’s cat castle with him, wrecking it up with her feral claw. She tries to get to the bottom of the enigma of Bovi but slips up by mentioning that Billy Adavispa isn’t doing well. Bovi freaks out and attempts to immediately flee to his aid, causing Guilotte to freak out as well, shattering all the glass on the second floor and giving every halfling in the building a migraine. It takes Ardis and Panther to calm him down but they do because it was getting late irl.

After Bovi settles down Panther invites Ardis out to the garden for a smoke. They talk about their respective motivations and Panther shares her depressing backstory, and her fear that she’s only ever been compelled to be good. She shows the column of scars on her arms, tokens of the warlocks’ repeated deployment of her pact in battle. Ardis assures her that she’s good and puts an arm around her, and the two silently watch the night sky on the eve of battle.

Meanwhile out in the ‘burbs, bad guys are up to no good. A carriage bearing Vos, Pitchfork, both Peacemasters, a chain of condemned Handsome Lads, and Weil pulls up at a nondescript building by the banks of the River Aster, where, inside, an enormous cavern has been hollowed out, the inert wooden husk of Misteltaine preserved and restored in a giant trench and tended to by Vos’ priests. As Weil leaps down to survey the absolute unit, Triamond expresses his reservations and moral condemnation of the project, but reluctantly signs off on it in the name of necessity. As Weil finishes his assessment, a number of 500s appear and slaughter the Lads, hurling their bodies into the trench, while Weil sprinkles the wooden titan with the queen’s blood. As it begins to stir, Weil dons his helmet, and Pitchfork entreats him to take control of the gargantuan vessel...

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