#the first day they met Jo was manipulated into attacking her friends by a power beyond her own will

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

Where’s that post I made about Mike being the companion that broke under the horrors bc I’m still right. When I think abt the THINGS some companions have had to endure and have still seemingly been fine, and then I think of mike losing himself and his values to a festering psychological wound that left him open to radicalisation, it’s like he is the evidence that actually everything isn’t fine.

Which is why it’s so important that he should be next seen in meditation, in the seeking of peace, in quietness and healing because not only is he a character that needs it he’s also a character that knows he needs it and seeks it out for himself, because he doesn’t recognise who he is anymore and he wants, not to redeem himself in the eyes of others (he won’t even go near UNIT, not even when he needs their help, he goes through Sarah Jane instead!), but to become a better person, to stop being a threat, and to heal for his own soul’s sake.

And so he goes from someone who was willing to see the entirety of human history erased, to someone who will risk his life for one person and the fact that that ultimately saves his life always imo comes across as a bit easy if you watch planet of the spiders without this context in mind. But when you do think about where Mike has been, psychologically, from the green death through to planet of the spiders, it doesn’t seem easy at all but actually a significant if understated character moment.

#mike yates #waxing lyrical about my blorbos in the middle of the night #but for real mikes healing arc is SO much to me #I think one of the crucial things about the green death is firstly that the doctor asks him to go back #like I genuinely think Mike would not have been as traumatised by his experiences as he was if he hadn’t IMMEDIATELY been forced back into #the traumatic situation #and the second thing is that Jo leaves at the end #mike is straight up NOT having a good time #like he goes through an extremely traumatic event and then has to immediately reexpose himself to it without any chance to process what happ #ened to him #and then he loses one of his best friends almost immediately afterwards #ESPECIALLY since jo would be the person MOST likely to understand what he is going through #and they both know that #the first day they met Jo was manipulated into attacking her friends by a power beyond her own will #which is exactly what has just happened to Mike #and Mike witnessed All of that so he knows. he KNOWS that jo would understand #but he can’t talk to her about it because she’s getting married and leaving

[lengthofropes]

POVs series

Part 3: Jack

(Part 1: Cas is here)   (Part 2: Sam is here) - can be read as separate stories 

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words: 5,4k | smr: Jack’s POV as Cas returned from the Empty / Heaven rebuilt  | read on A03

rating: general | warnings: none 

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This is my little contribution for dadstiel week <3

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“Any thoughts?” I ask. 

Castiel looks around. The room is empty. Light within the white walls and ceiling is flashing every few seconds. Heaven looks like abandoned office building after significant staff cuts. 

“It’s so quiet here” he says. He looks despondent. “This place was so full of power and light. My brothers and sisters… If I knew it all will end this way…” 

I come closer and touch him by the arm. This must be hard for him, I understand, but this is why we are here - to fix. This is why I asked for his help, who else can be a better adviser?

“This is not the end, don’t say it. We are here to make a new start”

He looks at me, and slowly his face eases from pain and regret. I know, he believes in me. Like always.

“Will you help me? I can’t make it without you”

He smiles, finally. It’s a warm smile, full of gratitude and love. 

I made a right decision, now I’m sure, he is glad to help. But after all, he’s the one who taught me, that it makes you feel so much better, if you’ve got the opportunity to make things right.

“Sure, Jack” he nods. Then adds, quietly “Thank you…”

I smile back at him, I can’t hold it. This is going to be great! Energy fills me. We always have so much fun, working together, it feels encouraging to have him near.  No matching ties this time, but it’s okay. 

It’s good that time flows differently here. We got so much work to do… and when I will bring him back on Earth, it’s gonna be just a couple of days, I guess? At least I hope I won’t take us longer, I’m not sure I can handle another conversation with grumpy Dean. It’s hard to keep a straight face, when he’s like this. Yeah, I understand he’s worried and he doesn’t want to let Castiel out of his sight, but he’s gonna be with me. With ME, Dean! I need my father’s help with something, can I spend some time with him, too?  

I’ve waited enough time for Castiel to feel better again. Until he’s strong enough after coming back from the Empty. All is well now. 

All is good.

“Alright!” I clap my hands. “Where do we start?”

***

We walk empty corridors, discussing our strategy. 

“Angels were supposed to be guardians, shepherds.” Castiel says. He’s calm and thoughtful. “We were born to protect our father’s creations. We are soldiers on guard of peace and prosperity. Not the blunt instruments of war.” 

“I guess you are the only one who understands it right” I nod. 

He is. He was bullied so often for having too much heart, it’s ridiculous. By the creatures, spoiled with pride, lust for power and profit. Where are they now? 

“You’re too kind” he smiles humbly.

“I am the way I am, thanks to you. Thanks to our family.” It’s a simple truth, and we both know it. His smile grows, and he puts a hand on my shoulder. 

The light is flickering again, but much more intense this time, walls are shaking.

“It’s getting worse…” There’s concern in Castiel’s voice. “I am amazed this place is still holding on.”

“Yeah. Not enough angelic power. I remember Dumah tried to make me create angels beings by forging human souls, to return Heaven it’s might.” 

Castiel rolls his eyes, definitely not the best one of his memories. But hey, not my fault, anyway. Besides…

“They all are dead now. It was a bad idea.”

“Any manipulation with human soul is a bad idea. What was she thinking?” He seems to be still angry about that. And I fully support him, but the question stands. 

“I don’t think we can rebuild it in any other way. Heaven needs angels, they are the essential source of it’s power.”

Shaking has stopped, the light is dim, but at least it doesn’t flicker anymore.

“I know”, Castiel agrees with heavy exhale. “How many are left there? Nine? Ten?”

“Eight” I purse my lips. “Seven up here, including Naomi, who’s still in jail”

“Still?” 

“Yeah. Seems like no one likes her…”

“I can’t blame them” Castiel deadpans, and it makes me laugh.

“And Anael, she’s still on Earth” 

“Oh, the famous businesswoman”

“Yeah.”

He gives me the look.

“Should we… talk to her?” I don’t want to, but I have to ask anyway.

“We should” he says unenthusiastically. “But…”

“Not now?” 

“Not now” he agrees, squinting his eyes.

“Later” 

“In the last place”

“When she will rethink her life choices”

“Absolutely” he nods again, dead serious.

I crack first and he follows immediately, it’s good to hear his laugh.

We keep snickering, passing the heaven rooms. Number 257, number 259… This corridor seems endless.

“You know,” I start. “When I first got here, I thought it looks more like a prison. Or! Like an aquarium for a goldfish!”

“Small tank for a single soul?” Castiel raises his eyebrow.

“Yeah! And people here are like a fish. You know, goldfish has a 3 seconds memory? It forgets everything, before it starts another round in it’s tank”

“Like people here, captured in never-ending loops of their best memories…” he continues my thought, musingly tilting his head. “Yes, exactly.”

“And they are happy. Mom looked happy, I think…”

“You’re not sure?” 

“Would you be happy on your own forever? Even in your best memory?”

“They don’t feel like they are on their own, they exist within a moment of eternal peace.” He shakes his head. “But I got your point. They don’t have a freedom of choice, they don’t know it’s a loop. Goldfish souls…”

I stop. He looks at me, and I see the question rises in his eyes, along with the hope for the answer.

“Can we…”

“..give them the choice?”

We look at each other, knocked out with the idea itself.

“Jack… this… this is wonderful!”

“You think? This will make them happy? I mean, happy for real?”

“You know what…” his face is focused, he tries to remember something. “Actually, we can ask. Dean once told me about one friend of theirs. I don’t know him in person, he died before I met Winchesters. But he’s here, he broke the loop, and figured the way to travel between individual heavens.”

“Oh, I know! Ash!”

“Right... “He seems a little confused. “I have to get used to it. You know everything now. Of course, you know everything...”

***

Sure, we didn't break in right inside, we knocked on the door politely. Jo (I know, it’s her, she’s very nice!) opens the door.

“Cas??” She’s amazed, but her smile is so genuine, I like it.

“Hi, Jo” Castiel is surprised too, but he takes her attack hug very well.

“Mom!” She yells. “Mom, look who’s here!!!”

“Joanna Beth, quit yelling, for God’s sake!”

We enter the bar and see Jo’s mother. I never thought someone’s heaven can be an old bar, all smelled with beer and peanuts, but here we are. And I like the smell, actually. It fits very well.

“Castiel? Well, I’ll be damned!” She puts down the glass and walks out from behind the bar counter. “Come here, you feather ass!”

She squeezes him tight, but he’s okay with it, he looks very happy.

“Who’s the kid?” She nods in my direction.

“Hi, I’m Jack!” I smile and raise my bunch of fives in greeting.

“Yes, this is.. this is Jack. He is..”

“I’m new God”

“You’re… who?”

“…he’s WHAT?” 

“It’s a long story.” Castiel purses his lips, as he alternately looks at Joe, then at Ellen. Their eyes are wide, but it makes them no less brave. 

“Then sit and talk, we have all the time in the world here. And are we yearned for the news, you know.” Ellen beckons us to the counter with a nod.

“Sure” Castiel agrees. “But where’s Ash? We thought we’re gonna see him here, isn’t it his heaven?”

“It is” Jo sits on the stool. “Our looked exactly the same. And when he found us, we kinda decided to move. He got all his stuff here, and it’s easier to travel from this starting point.”

“So you travel between heavens too?” Cas asks.

“Yeah, but not so much as he does. It’s better to have such opportunity, then to be locked, anyway. I mean, we don’t complain, but…”

“We were shocked when we saw him first. But then he explained. A lot of things, actually, about how everything works here.” Ellen continues, putting four glasses of beer in front of us. She looks at me suspiciously. “How old are you, exactly?”

“Oh, I’m three” 

Her eyebrows are high again, but Castiel just shakes his head. 

“He can drink, Ellen. That’s okay”

“Oh yeah? And who are you, his dad?”

“He is!” I confirm. “Well, actually, my father is Lucifer, but Castiel raised me. Castiel, Dean and Sam”

Jo chokes on her beer and Castiel pats her back gently.

“I guess I have to explain a lot of things, too” he apologises.

“Please, give us a favour… And I think we’re gonna need something stronger here…” Ellen takes a bottle of tequila from the shelf. “Don’t worry, no hangover here”

Door slams loudly.

“Whooo! Look who’s back, ladies! I gotta say, Cliff Burton is a really nice dude in person. He…” A man in colorful mask and a gold cape runs inside the bar. 

“Oh..” He freezes, looking at us. “A company?”

“Ash, this is Castiel and Jack. Guys…” Ellen smiles to us. “This is Ash”

***

I wander around the bar, eating salted peanuts. Really tasty, I like it. So many cool pictures on the walls, the pool table, music box. I think this place is awesome! Castiel continues his story, he’s somewhere near to the mark of Cain. Guys sit around and listen with genuine interest, I’ve lost count how many glasses they’ve had already. They cried a lot, they laughed, too. Of course. This is the most amazing story ever!

“So, we’re here with Jack to make Heaven a better place” Castiel finishes.  “And we wanted to ask you about the travels between individual spots. Are you the only one who’s capable of that?” He looks at Ash.

“Well, I guess I am” He sounds so proud of himself, trying to hold back the burp. “I’ve never seen anyone else doing it, only me and my friends” 

“And you can travel anywhere?”

“Mostly” he scratches behind his ear. “Some places cannot be located with my scanner. It’s not powerful enough, I assume”

“We can’t find dad” Jo interrupts. She looks sad. “We don’t know why. We even thought, that maybe… maybe he’s not here”

“Bill Harvelle is in Heaven, as far as I know” Castiel sounds concerned, looking at me.

“He is” I nod in confirmation.

“Well,” Ellen smiles bitterly. “Good to know”

We are silent. Suddenly Heaven is not a happy place at all.

“You know what’s weird?” She says. “We didn’t even think of him. I mean… We remembered him, sure. But we… Dammit, it’s so hard to explain! We were like in a bubble, before Ash came. A happy bubble, no regrets, no worries…”

“No thoughts. Just bliss. Perfect loop” Castiel follows.

“Totally” Jo agrees. “You know, all your life you believe, you’re gonna meet your loved ones here, someone you miss the most. And then it turns out you’re just being canned in a piece of your happy memory. And no one complains, because no one… acknowledges.”

“The more I listen, the more I am convinced that this place was created without the slightest consideration of the real needs of the human soul” Castiel sounds bitter, utterly disappointed.

“Because no one cared to listen” I’m sad too. 

I know what my happiest memories are, they all are full with the people I love. Jo is right. Leaving people blindfolded is not an option, they deserve so much better.

“Well,” Castiel stands up from the stool.” Now we know, what our priorities are.”

“Looks like a lotta work, you guys need some assistance?” Ash drums his finders on his glass. 

“Thanks Ash. We’re not sure yet, but if we will, we know where to find you.”

“You’re cool, and I like your hair very much!” I add. 

Compliment makes Ash fidget in his chair, but he is pleased.

“Thanks! You both look cool too” he raises his eyebrows approvingly.

“Yeah, by the way” Jo bumps Castiel’s shoulder with her fist. “So unusual without your trench coat, much better now. Love the T-shirt!”

“Uh, yeah… thanks,” Castiel awkwardly fiddles with the zipper on his hoodie, I think his cheeks blush?

“Wait…is this… Dean’s?” Jo squints her eyes examining familiar print.

“Yeah, I umm… haven’t got a chance to buy a new clothes yet.” No doubt. He’s blushing. “So Dean just… um.. borrowed me some of his old.” He deliberately takes a gulp from his glass to cover his sudden shyness. I don’t understand why to be shy about this, but it’s none of my business. Harvelles quit their interrogation too.

“Now, where to next?” Castiel ask, as we walk out of the bar. He tries to fix his hair after particularly heartful goodbye hugs they gave him. 

“Luchbreak?”

***

We sit on a roof of Chrysler building. It’s a room 566297335, this guy’s best memory is finally getting a promotion and moving to the bigger office with a spectacular view. All people are so different…

“So,” my mouth is a little too full with burger, but I’m too excited to chew slower. “Travels between the personal rooms?”

Castiel sips his coffee thoughtfully, his gaze is fixed on the horizon. 

“Yes,” he nods carefully. “This concept is inspiring.” 

He’s quiet for the moment. Fake New York is silent around us, no buzzing cars, no human voices, no wind. Still, it’s a beautiful decoration, never-ending spring sunset, coloring the streets with warm and soft orange palette.

“Among the many things I’ve seen for the past years being on Earth, purity of human soul enraptures me the most. It’s vulnerability and integrity. People are so fragile, so defenceless. Life is ruled by their emotions and feelings, and they live it in the eternal search for a soul that will make their own feel accepted as it is. And this... This is the most beautiful thing.” He looks at me, endless warmth and placidity in his eyes.

“You think, we really understand it? Human soul? You and I?”

He smiles.

“I don’t think it’s something that can be understood completely. I doubt that a person is able to understand their soul, not to mention the soul of another human being. But we can listen attentively.” He looks at me. “The least we can do, is be kind and do not confine anyone's freedom. We had a good teachers.”

“Yes… No more cells” I nod affirmatively.

“No more cells” Castiel agrees.

***

We’re in the white room, a map of old Heaven lays on the table and we keep studying it. Castiel rubs his eyes constantly.

“You know what, it’s too old school on paper, let me make a 3d hologram…” I click my fingers and it’s done. ”Better?”   

Castiel blinks few times and comes closer to observe.

“Yes, way better! Thank you, Jack” he puts his hand on my shoulder, smiling at the new workspace.

“It’s still so… flat” He adds. 

Indeed, Heaven looks like endless paper sheet, ripped out of squared notebook. 

“Yeah…” I’m not impressed too. “I’ve always thought Heaven is much cooler place.”

“We should work on a structure” Castiel mumbles. “Now it’s just enormous amount of cells, each decorated in it’s own style. And if we want them to be connectable…”

“Maybe we should remove the walls entirely? Like, make one big space?”

Castiel blinks.

“We- can we do it?”

“Sure! We can make it look like anything we want. Like a Disneyland. Or a Death Star!

“I don’t think Death Star is acceptable reference here” Castiel tries to hold back his smile.

“Coruscant?” I may be overly enthusiastic over this idea, but why not?

“No.” He’s very gentle, but I got his point.

“Endor?” This is my last try, I promise.

“I was thinking maybe… Earth?” 

“Oh!”

“Basically, we already have different parts here, from all the ages and territories. So, maybe we…”

“Yes! Combine them together!” This is so simple, I love it!

Cas is hesitant again, there’s a doubt on his face, forehead frowned.

“But won’t this cause a turmoil? The Earth has looked very different throughout it’s history. And each soul remembers it in it’s own way.”

“So? Time and space aren’t a thing here. We can create a collective image, a collective space. We won’t even have to make a large effort, people’s memories are our best designer. Our Heaven can consist of any number of layers. It already is! Remember Ash? He travels through Heavens from different countries and different eras. Nothing is impossible here”

“This.. this sounds so simple?” I can see, he slowly accepts the idea.

“Well, the concept is simple. But we definitely got a work to do.”

He smiles. Wide and inspired. 

“It’s wonderful, Jack!”

“Yes. But the main question is, how many angels do we need to make it work?”

Castiel’s smile fade. 

“Yes… Angels,” he exhales heavily.

“Cas..?” 

He walks around the table and sits in the chair. He rubs his forehead, looking down on the floor, I cannot see his eyes.

“Castiel?” I come closer. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just… I understand, you can create angels now. From a scratch, like Chuck… God… used to. This is what you’re going to do?”

“Yes.” I nod. “In fact, they are going to be my first children”

I’ve thought about it. Not that I’m terrified with the responsibility, not that I have doubts. This is just… something absolutely new. Not even like bringing the entire population of Earth back. The creation. Pure. 

“And I’m going to give the living ones their wings back” I smile. I hope this will bring back my father’s good mood.

He smiles, but I know he still blames himself for the angel’s fall. 

“This is great, Jack, this is wonderful!”

“But, you’re sad?”

He’s quiet again. I guess I know what he’s thinking about now. But I wait… he’s gonna tell me himself.

“I just think… I keep thinking, if they would have been happy? To see Heaven, all new, peaceful and powerful. All my brothers and sisters, who…” He stutters, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. The names, so many names.

“Samadriel.” He continues. “Hanna, Kelvin, Ezekiel, Muriel, Inias, Nithael, Rebecca, Joshua, Sofia, Ambriel, Zuriel… even Anna. And all those fools, who followed Metatron… or Bartholomew. Poor ones, who got their brains washed by Raphael.” His voice is very quiet. “And… Balthazar”

“I think it would” I can feel his pain, it curls around him, pulls him into the abyss of regret. “I- I hope so… All I know is that they are sleeping now, they are at peace, Castiel. No more screams in the Empty”

“Yes. Yes, I know. I remember” He rubs his face, like he wants to clean the sadness off it.

“I’m sorry, Jack.” He tries to smile. “I shouldn’t be so…”

I put my hand on his shoulder, calmingly, softly.

“It’s okay, I understand.”

***

“Ready?” Castiel looks at me fondly, and I crack my fingers with much enthusiasm.

“Yes! Absolutely”

“Just make sure they are not… dicks” he gives me the look and I nod approvingly.

“Will do!”

My hands are warm, I can feel the power flows inside me. Concentrates in my fingers, making them tremble. It starts with soft glowing, eventually increasing into a stream of light, that gathers into a luminous ball between my palms. It turns and grows, and it shines so bright. The light within the walls and ceiling of the white room is flickering too, encouranging me to continue.

“Hello!” I smile and raise my hand in greeting. “Welcome to Heaven. You are my first angel”

Angel looks at me, confused and bewildered.

“I like him.” I smile at Castiel. “I’m gonna name him Luke!”

He just laughs, he doesn’t argue.

We got so much work to do today.

***

“HWW!” His face is pure smugness. He turns the screen of his homemade laptop for us to take a look, but honestly, we don’t seem to follow.

“Hw-w?” Cas tilts his head. “Is that a reference? I- I’m afraid, I don’t get it, Ash”

“Yes! HWW!” Ash repeats, but his smile slowly fades, as he understands that we really have no idea what he’s talking about. “Guys, come on! Really?”

He said this project is something extremely important and cool, and it will be the fundamental part of New Heaven. But we don’t get it.

“World Wide Web! But it’s Heaven, so its’ gonna be the Heaven Wide Web!” He raises his hands above his head and shakes them victoriously. “Ta-daa!”

“The… Internet?!” 

“Yes!” He slams his hands on the desk and starts typing something on keyboard. “Okay, I was thinking... Every soul is unique, right? It has it’s own structure, vibe.. whatever. And it’s own individual number here, right?”

We nod.

“What if we use it like the IP-address? And each soul will get it’s personal access point to the general communication centre? Just imagine, you can connect with any person you want.”

“Like texting!”

“With emoticons?” Cas smiles. 

“Exactly. Heavenly social media.”

“With profile page and cat memes?” I like this idea more and more.

“Anything we want!” 

“But wait… how do we explain it to souls from the past eras?”

“Easy.” Ash winks at Cas. “People have invented millions of ways to communicate with each other since the beginning of time. We can stick with anything usual for each period. Like, Shakespeare won’t need to use a phone, pigeons will fly to him through the window, bringing the message. “Hey, William, I’m your biggest fan from 1978. Can I come for a cuppa tea to discuss The Merchant of Venice?” And some hairy dude, who lives in a cave, will see new petroglyphs appear on the walls. You get me?”

“Ash…” 

“Yeah, I kinda came up with this long ago… You break into someone’s Heaven, and sometimes they’re not very happy to see you, they don’t know, what the hell is going on. I remember Jimi chased me around the room trying to hit me with his guitar, thought I was a particularly vivid hallucination…” he adds dreamily. “So yeah, it’s way better to be able to send a message first, you know? To be connected, in general. And if you guys gonna break all the loops…”

“Ash. You’re genius! You really can do this?”

He shakes his head, adjusting his luxurious hairstyle.

"Already wrote an algorithm”

***

“They are truly so full of light” He’s just finished his conversation with the last one of the newly created angels, and he looks contented, considering the peaceful smile on his face. “Jack, they are wonderful”

“Of course. I intended them to be like you.”

“Like…” his eyes widen in astonishment. “Like me?”

“Yes.” I say simply. “You’re the best example I know.”

I feel his emotions. They overfill him, shine with the sparkle in his eyes, brighten every wrinkle on his face, warm the air through his skin. 

The light. The love. 

“Guardians, shepherds.” I continue. “Born to protect the peace and prosperity. Not the blunt instruments of war.” 

“Jack…”

“All with a little too much heart. But no one will ever call it a crack in their chassis”

***

It doesn't look like a decoration anymore. Now I know what makes Heaven a Heaven. 

People’s emotions. Feelings of joy, security, serenity. Warmth of loving hearts. And freedom, of course.

We are standing on the top of the mountain, mesmerising view of all the work done lies in front of our eyes. Castiel takes the last piece of broken wall, lying in front of his feet, it fades and shrinks in his palm, until vanishes completely.

“That’s it” He smiles. “You did it, Jack”

“No,” I shake my head. “WE did it. I couldn’t have done this without your help and support. Without your faith in me. Thank you”

I mean it. Everything I did, everything I’ve become. Impossible without him.

“Thank you, father”

We hold each other, like we used to. I’m sure, this is not our last hug, but it feels like the most important one. I put all my love and gratitude, all my devotion into this embrace. I want him to feel, to know, how much he means to me, that nothing has changed in my feelings for him. He is my father. And forever will be.

Angels, new and old, stand behind us, their wings shine in the light, casting glare on grass and trees. Сalmness and confidence on their faces, they are beautiful in their might and purity. I did a good job, I must admit.

“And now” I say, pulling back to look into Castiel’s eyes “We deserved a little celebration, don’t you think?” 

“Agree” he smiles.

I click my fingers.

It’s the familiar bar. We appear, and the air explodes with loud cheering noises. 

“What…” Castiel starts, but gasps with amazement.

It’s a good company, it’s the part of our found family. I don’t know all of them in person, but I’m familiar with their stories, all so important and irreplaceable. 

Red haired woman is the first one to attack Castiel with a hug.

“Charlie!”

“Hey, big guy!” She laughs, bumping his shoulder. “Looking good, bitch!”

“Yeah… I-“

He has no chance to finish, Kevin attacks him next.

“Kevin…”

“Okay, okay! Back in the line, kid. Have some respect for the elders!” Bobby pushes him aside laughingly, and he and Mary step closer for a hug. 

Castiel is bewildered, I think he might cry, but he holds himself together good so far.

Pamela, Mick and Jimmy finish the circle of greetings. Jimmy looks a bit awkward, like he’s not sure, if he has the right to be here. This is weird. Sure he has!

“Cas looks a little strange without his trench coat, don’t you think?” I hear from behind. I smile to the familiar voice. 

“Hi, mom…”

Her hands are delicate and warm on my cheeks, she’s beaming with love.

“Hey, baby”

***

Everyone’s busy with yelling their drink orders to Jo and Ellen, Ash turns on the music box, as if bar isn’t full with cheerful chatter and laugh already. Cas and Kelly are the first ones to get their drinks, and now they stand aside, chatting cordially with each other. My mom and my dad. I don’t interrupt, they surely have a lot to talk about. And I… 

I need to talk with a mother, too. But not with mine. There she stands, my dearest friend and my biggest regret, my horrible mistake and undeniable fault. And she smiles to me.

“Hello, Jack”

I can’t speak, her voice made me numb. I just look, I keep looking into her blue eyes, trying to find an accusation in them, sorrow, at least, but I don’t see anything alike. She is smiling her softest smile.

“What, you’re not even gonna give me a hug?”

“Mary, I…” 

“Oh, come here!” She pulls me closer and wraps her arms around me. Suddenly, words burst out from the inside, an endless stream of remorse and guilt.

“Mary, I’m so sorry! I am so sorry, I didn’t want it to happen… It was so terrible, and I… I didn’t mean to, but it was my fault. I…”

“Jack…” she tries to interrupt me.

“I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry! Can you ever forgive me?” 

“Jack!” She holds me so tight. “Jack, it’s okay…”

“You deserved so much better, I’m so sorry…”

“I know.” She pulls back, looking into my eyes. “I know it was an accident. Please, stop blaming yourself…”

“But it was my fault!”

“Jack!” She cups my face with her palms, her voice is calm and soft. “I don’t blame you. So please, stop blaming yourself. It wasn’t even you, real you.”

The tight knot in my chest looses a little. I know her sons have forgiven me, but to hear it from her… it changes everything. I feel like I’m finally free.

“We all have our path, mine has led me here. And I regret nothing, Jack. I’m at peace, I am happy here.”

“But your sons…”

“I can wait” She smiles. “Now I know, we’re all gonna end up here. And now Heaven is just… perfect! Thank you for this.” 

Castiel is standing next to her, I didn't even notice how he came up closer to us. Mary puts her hands on our shoulders, squeezing them firmly.

“Thank you both! And if you want to do something nice for me,” she raises her eyebrows, looking me straight in the eyes “…make sure Sam and Dean die of old age lying in their warm beds, okay?!”

Maybe my eyes are sparkling with tears, but I nod, smiling broad and confident.

“Of course!”

“Not so difficult, considering that there’s an angel looking over them” she winks at Castiel, making him smile softly.

“Oh, about that…” I interrupt.

“What?”

“I think… someone is tired of spending his time, being a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent”

“Jack…” Castiel is looking at me with a slight confusion on his face. “What are you…”

“You still haven’t asked for your wings back.” I say quietly.

He hesitates, I can see the uncertainty and worrying in his eyes.

“I.. I just thought…”

“Because you don’t feel like you need them anymore.”

He looks down.

“Castiel?” Mary’s voice is gentle and mild, she leans to him, trying to catch his eyes. I guess… she understands. “Remember… remember that one night? I just got back from the dead, and I was so lost. We bumped into each other, in the bunker?”

He rises his head, looking at her attentively.

“Yes”

“I asked you, about the Earth, when did it start to feel like...like you fit, like you...belonged there? Remember? And you said…”

“I'm still not sure I do.” Yes..”

She smiles. 

“And now, after everything…? I know what you did, Castiel. For us, for our family, for humanity in general… and for him. Do you know now?… Do you belong?”

He looks at her with gratitude. His face lights up, as if the last piece of the puzzle has been found and snapped into place, making him complete. 

“Yes. I do”

“Well,” she laughs warmly. “Growing old must be fun. I don’t know, I never did!” She kisses his cheek. “Tell them, tell my boys, I’m happy here, tell them, I don’t regret a thing, okay?” They hug, and he nods into her shoulder. “And tell him…” she whispers cheerfully into his ear. “…tell him, he’s lucky as hell!”

Castiel can’t hold back the smile, and his cheeks flush with joy.

“Okay. Promise!”

Mary squeezes him in her arms once more and pats his shoulder, before walk off with a widest smile on her face.

“Jack. I…” he starts.

“I know.” He doesn’t needs to explain anything.

“Your grace is still in the process of being restored, but if you want, it can just ... vanish over time” I shrug and I smile. “Growing old with someone is what people do, right? Humans.”

He rubs his eyebrow with a soft and quiet laugh.

“Yes, they do…”

“And you both gonna eventually end up here, you and him.”

“Not the worst option, I guess” He smiles.

He looks at all the people in this small wooden bar, their faces are full of joy, their laugh is light-hearted. Company broke into unexpected duos, like Kevin and Ash, discussing some technical stuff over Ash’s scanner, or Pamela and Mick sharing their theories on the matter of astral projections. This will be the the most popular spot in Heaven, probably. But now…

“Tell me when you’re ready to go back.”

“Yes. Only need to collect all the messages from everyone, to pass them to Sam and Dean personally. Probably, not only to Sam and Dean…” he waves at Jimmy. 

“Of course! We have all the time in the world here”

“Yes,” he nods. “We’re not in a rush”

We’re not in a rush, father. Take your time, you deserve to spend it with people, who care about you. 

Both on Earth and in Heaven.

You are loved.

***

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[ramajmedia]

The Worst Thing Each Main Character From Supernatural Has Done

Over its 14 seasons, Supernatural presented us with many characters, amd it can be hard to determine the main characters aside from the brothers, Sam and Dean, Cas, and Jack. Still, there were characters that were closer to the story in recent seasons, and others that had a lasting effect on Sam and Dean, making them main characters.

RELATED: 5 Ways Supernatural Has Aged Poorly (And 5 Ways It's Timeless)

That said, all of these characters have performed good deeds (yes, even Ruby and Lucifer), and all of these characters have done horrible things (yes, even and especially, Dean and Sam). Even the angels are tainted in Supernatural. 

13 Lucifer: Stealing His Son's Power

We would expect everything that Lucifer did to be bad, so it is hard to choose the worst. Could it be when he tortured Sam? Could it be when he killed Cas? When he brutally killed Rowena? Or when he treated Crowley, literally like a dog? Then, there were all the angels he eviscerated. All these and more are horrible, but the worst thing he ever did was stealing Jack's (his son) grace. It had seemed that he was interested in his son, but his son was just another way to get power.

12 Lucifer's Human Vessel, Nick: Dooming His Wife

When Lucifer leaves Nick's body, Nick comes back.  First, he begins to search for a way to avenge his family, his wife, and child who had been murdered. He kills people and demons to do this, sometimes innocent people, but this isn't his worst thing.

Finally, he goes back into his old house, and there he sees his wife's ghost. She tells him that she's trapped in the house due to the unfinished business of her murder and his path with Lucifer. She begs him, "Reject Lucifer right now. If you do, I can leave. I can find peace." Nick won't do it, turning his back on his wife.

11 John Winchester: Getting Jo's Dad Killed

Normally, we would say that John's worst thing was how he raised his boys, but his teachings made them into men who can save the world. If he hadn't given them the tough love and the field experience with hunts, they might very well have turned out like their half-brother, Adam, first killed by a standard ghoul.

RELATED: Supernatural is Finally Bringing Adam Back 

On top of hist list of worsts is getting Jo's dad killed. From what Ellen, Jo's mother, says, her husband went on a hunt with John, and John used him as bait and left him. Ultimately, this left Jo without a father, and Ellen without a husband.

10 Rowena: Attack Dog Spell

When we are introduced to Rowena in the series, we see a quirky red-haired witch intent on creating her own coven. While she's powerful, the Grand Coven rejected Rowena for her odd and often extreme ways. At first, she seems decent, rescuing two prostitutes and wanting to introduce them to power. However, when threatened, she uses one as a prop for her escape. She turns the woman into an attack dog, who quickly bleeds out after the spell runs its course.

9 Crowley: Killing Those Sam and Dean Had Saved Before

Since we like Crowley in the later seasons and consider him more of an ally to Sam and Dean, we forget that he started out as a big bad. In Season 8, he threatens to kill someone they had previously saved until they stop the trials. One of his victims is Sarah Blake, a charismatic side character we met and loved in Season 1. Had Sam met her at a different time (he was still grieving Jess), they might have become an item. Horrified, Sam has to watch Sarah killed despite all the wards and protections he and Dean put up to try to protect her from Crowley.

8 Chuck/God: Bringing The Dark Spirits

Chuck/God has been mainly a side character even though he is the mastermind behind it all. In Season 14, he tries to manipulate Sam and Dean into killing Jack. Sam notices how Chuck watches with glee as Dean almost kills Jack. In the end, Chuck kills Jack. Sam and Dean discover that Chuck has been playing their lives for entertainment all this time. Angry with the brothers, Chuck decides to bring back all the dark spirits they vanquished over the seasons, even back as far as Season 1. He's decided to end this world and to make that ending painful and tragic.

7 Ruby: Using Sam to Bring Lucifer

Ruby seems the anomaly, a demon with a heart of gold. She trains Sam to take down Lilith, feeding him demon blood to make him more powerful.

RELATED: Supernatural The 10 Strongest Female Leads

In the end, she wanted Sam to kill Lilith because she knew that Lilith was the last seal needed to be broken in order to bring Lucifer into this world. She played all sides convincingly, betraying both brothers in the end, who had come to trust her.

6 Bobby: Becoming a Vengeful Spirit

After Bobby dies, his spirit stays attached to his whiskey flask, which Dean keeps in his honor. Initially a helpful entity, Bobby points out research that helps the brothers in their demon hunting. However, he starts to develop into a vengeful spirit, like the ones that they all have vanquished before. Right now, he is still Bobby, but Sam and Dean realize that he won't be for long if he doesn't cross over.

5 Mary Winchester: Killing American Hunters

The British Men of Letters recognize Mary as the perfect tool for them to get rid of the American Hunters. Not only is Mary a good and strong hunter, but she is also trusted by the other hunters. This means that when she shows up at the doorstep, they will let her in. While Mary was brainwashed to do this, she still did it, and she effectively whipped out many hunters and allies.

4 Jack: Killing Mary Winchester

While Dean feared Jack from the start since he was the son of Lucifer, Jack initially is good. When he has his powers, he saves people constantly and sees Dean, Sam, and Cas as his idols. Even when his powers are taken away and he becomes fully human, he still puts his life on the line to help others.

RELATED: Supernatural 10 Times the Show Broke Our Hearts

But a soulless Jack is different. It's not that he is bad, it's that he doesn't feel morality. He kills Mary because he wants her to stop talking. He didn't intend to kill her, and he even tries to bring her back. However, he can't, and Mary remains dead.

3 Cas: Tries to Become God

Season 7 Cas takes in souls, making him more powerful. He becomes full of ego and power. This leads him to kill the angels and people that don't support him. He becomes dangerous in his own idea of right and wrong, believing that he must rule with a firm fist. Later, he does sacrifice himself (luckily, he survives), but for much of Season 7, he is the villain.

2 Dean: Kills Amy Pond in Front of Her Son

Early Dean had a strong sense of right and wrong, seeing the world only in black and white. When he finds out that Amy (a kitsune) was killing to help her sick son (another kitsune), he sees her as evil and without much hesitation, kills her. She had been a friend of Sam's when they were teens, and she saved Sam. She lived her life trying to live off dead blood, until her son got sick. Sam tells Dean to let her go, as she stopped killing and won't again. Dean goes anyway and kills her in front of her young son.

1 Sam: Kills Dean's Daughter and Feels No Remorse

Dean has a one night stand with an Amazon woman (though he doesn't know that she is an Amazon at the time). This results in her conceiving a child, who grows to be a 16-year old girl in only a few days. As part of her initiation, she must kill her father. Sam stops her by killing her. While this is bad, what is worse is that he tells Dean that Dean went soft by not doing it himself.

Adding one more thing to our favorite brothers, they also left Adam, their half-brother, behind.

NEXT: Supernatural 10 Reasons Why God/Chuck Is The True Villain of the Series

source https://screenrant.com/supernatural-main-characters-worst-things-done/

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