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kitanawinz · 1 year

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( — ) ★ spotted !! kitana cortez on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid ! many say that the forty three year old looks like elodie yung, but i don’t really see it. while the stuntwoman, actress is known for being magnetic my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be egocentric i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song flashback ( miyavi ) { she, her. cis woman }

◎ ִ 𝗮𝗰𝘁 ★ 𝗼𝗻𝗲 ── statistics.

━ basic information.

birthname : kitana laurent-khan

pronunciation : kuh-taa-nuh

married name : kitana cortez

stage name : professionally known as kitana

nickname ( s ) : kitty

date of birth, age : 06 / 06 / 1980, forty three

place of birth : toulouse, france

nationality : french american

ethnicity : cambodian, white

gender, pronouns : cis woman, she/hers

orientation : bisexual

religion : theravada buddhist

languages spoken : english, khmer, french, cantonese & mandarin

accent : lost her french accent while living in america for so long. yet the dilect is sometimes noticeable.

━ physicality.

faceclaim : elodie yung

hair color : black

eye color : brown

height : five feet ten inches

tattoos : daughter’s name / birthdate, marriage date on her right shoulder blade. sank yat tattoo on her lower back.

piercings : ( left ) five lobe, conch, cartilage. ( right ) three lobe, helix.

━ other.

label :

positives : magnetic, career-driven, level-headed, honest

negatives : apathetic, brazen, egocentric, pessimistic

hobbies : street racing, drifting, kendo, various marital arts, yoga

zodiac, western : gemini

zodiac, chinese : gold monkey

mbti : entj, the commander

enneagram : type 8, 8w7

temperament : phlegmatic

element : air

◎ ִ 𝗮𝗰𝘁 ★ 𝘁𝘄𝗼 ── background.

━ born into billons, kitana’s father owns several international hotels and airports. her life was full of adventure. she often accompanied her father on business trips around the world. up until high school kitana was home-schooled. she attended an all girls private school school in england.

━ as a child she was shy and reserved. her confidence didn’t blossom until she reached adulthood. kitana often felt ostracized by her peers for being different. by all means she was a blue-blood but her father, nor she was british.

━ kitana lost her mother at a young age. she never mourned her loss properly. her father re-married several years later yet the wounds still hadn’t fully healed.

━ academics were not kitana’s strong suit but her father valued education. she went to college in new york city to pursue business law. after taking a theater credit she changed her major and fell in love with acting. she was able to enter juilliard on her own merit and her father’s reasonable donation. he wasn’t fond of his daughter becoming an actor but he couldn’t deny kitana’s happiness.

━ while studying kitana played several roles in stage plays throughout the city. she upgraded to playing doubles and stand-ins. she befriended the community and was introduced to stunt work.

━ kitana was the athletic type and learned several forms of martial arts during her youth. transitioning into stunts was easier than she expected it to be and she enjoyed the adrenaline it gave her. still kitana acted here and there and it was clear that her career was on a steady incline. instead of taking advantage of it she opted to finish her education.

━ she attended a summer trip to rome, italy. there she met dante cortez who was filming a movie. she’d seen the name attached to several blockbusters and heard his success story through her stunt peers. she was able to meet him formally and was awestruck by his presence.

━ dante came from a different life than kitana. she’d been in several relationships prior to meeting dante. unlike the others, she wanted to maintain and nurture their bond. after graduating kitana focused on dramatic roles and cemented herself as a rising star in hollywood. with dante at her side and a child on the way, the couple was unstoppable.

━ marriage should’ve come earlier for the couple. when the two eventually did get married and their relationship titled on it’s axis. plenty of it had to do with kitana’s insecurity. despite being attached to several blockbusters, nominated for a handful of awards, and solidifying herself as a household name she felt her fame couldn’t compare to the massive incline her husband’s career was on.

━ she wasn’t offered the same roles as before. she watched as younger actresses’ take the mantle. kitana didn’t hold grudges but she was resentful. her husband offered her several roles but kitana wasn’t the type to take handouts. she became irritable and irrational. in a drunken misjudgment she slept with a younger actor.

━ the emotion of “not being like herself” had vanished when her mistake came into clarity. foolishly she hoped dante would never find out. when he did the relationship she once cherished crumbled within seconds. to her luck the divorce was dealt with quietly and respectfully. both of them agreed to keep it classy out of respect for their reputations and their young daughter. kitana is still very much broken about the divorce. but is glad she still is able to see her ex-husband for the sake of their daughter.

◎ ִ 𝗮𝗰𝘁 ★ 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 ── personality.

━ kitana doesn’t act as much as she used to. she reached legacy status and is known as one of the first “action girl” heroines. most people know her for playing natasha romanoff / black widow in the marvel movies. in lieu of acting kitana produces projects with a main focus on women of color in the industry.

━ because of her father she is considered a socialite but she doesn’t have the qualities of one. she has a brazen personality and doesn’t carry herself like other disgustingly wealthy women. plenty of it has do with her apathy to celebrity culture. she doesn’t care enough to be in the loop.

━ she isn’t ashamed of “the nepo baby” label and proudly says she’s famous because “her dad is.” ironically enough, it’s allowed her to become well-liked by the new generation. her social media presence is small --- making her presence on apps like tiktok all the more worthwhile.

━ kitana is honest and doesn’t cut corners. she gives sound and honest advice even when it’s uncalled for. she is mother.

◎ ִ 𝗮𝗰𝘁 ★ 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 ── connections.

father : viseth khan, seventy-six. ↳ businessman, chairman and founder of khan hotels & resorts.

mother : elyna laurent-khan, forty. ( deceased ) ↳ french socialite, ceo of christian dior couture ( 1981-1993 )

step mother : martina vasquez-khan, fifty-seven. ↳ spanish musician.

siblings : raiden khan, seventeen. ( half-brother )

spouse : dante cortez, forty seven. ( ex-husband ) ↳ stuntman, actor & director.

children : dafne jade cortez, thirteen.

other connections.

━ co stars : kitana is known to have a presence on set. she isn’t method but she takes her job seriously. she’s known for her massive trailer. an invitation into her abode isn’t one to be taken for granted.

━ rivals : due to her brazen personality , it’s not shocking that she’s crossed several people. she’s been known to give up on projects due to scheduling conflicts , bless whoever picks up her “leftovers.”

━ other socialites she grew up around / with : her father was a social butterfly and her mother often hosted parties. kitana was always in attendance.

#hillzhqsintro

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poisonwept · 2 months

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𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐲𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐥 : you'd break your heart to make it bigger , so why not crack the skull when the mind swells ? a thought bigger than your own head . try it . seriously . i thought of myself as a city & i licked my lips . i thought of myself as a nation & i wrung my hands . i put a thing in your hand . will you defend yourself ? i prefer to blame others . it's easier . king me .

𝐢. 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

priya pawityakul , as usual carrying their BENT QUEEN OF HEARTS , TUCKED IN THE FOLD OF HER WALLET . twenty - eight year old huli jing [ darkness ] with their sun in pisces , and their day mostly occupied by causing the occasional problem on purpose — how else is a glorified nepo - baby supposed to entertain one’s self ? the spring breeze whispered they quite enjoy the exhilarating rush of being dealt the winning hand , the twist of the knife that comes with a swift fool’s mate , and the thrill of a secret held tight between her teeth , which might or might not be responsible for their sardonic / bold / captivating / charasmatic / quick - tempered nature. priya isn’t an oldham local , yet the ocean’s waves brought us tales about them regardless , about how there’s something to be said for being the only child , which bestows the title of ’ favorite ’ with little effort required — she relishes in such position ; there’s a nagging voice in the very back of her head that wonders if she’ll ever be enough , if she’ll ever make her parents proud , if it’ll ever be worth it in the end ; girlhood is no different than the fall of rome , she thinks — you were burned , you are about to burn , you are still on fire .

𝐢𝐢. 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 .

full name : prattranite ' priya ' pawityakul . nicknames : pri . actual age : sixty - eight . physical age : twenty - eight . birth date : february 19th . gender identity : cis - woman . pronouns : she / her / hers . sexual orientation : bisexual . place of birth : bangkok , thailand . nationality : thai . face claim : mookda narinrak .

𝐢𝐢𝐢. 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 .

height : five foot , two inches . build : lithe , slender . hair : always dark , often cascading in long waves , her bangs a dark indigo — nothing a little black box dye can't fix . attire : highly feminine , preppy in nature . pastels punctuated with a barbie - esque flair . tattoos : none . scars : none . piercings : several in each ear . her belly button as well , acquired once - upon - a - time without parental permission . other features : prominent brows . a feigned gaze that holds the air of naivety , though the smirk on her lips says otherwise .

𝐢𝐯. 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 - 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 .

parents : jitaraphol pawityakul ( father , alive — chairman of the board , PKT holdings . ) / rachanun pawityakul ( mother , alive — socialite . ) siblings : none . religion : raised on buddhist values . . . largely non - religious . spoken languages : thai ( fluent ) , english ( fluent ) , french ( fluent ) , italian ( conversational ) .

𝐯. 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 .

sun : pisces . moon : scorpio . rising : leo . myers - briggs : entj . alignment : chaotic neutral . enneagram : the individualist . soul type : the king . temperament : sanguine . element : fire . aesthetic : the winning hand .

𝐯𝐢. 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 .

born with a golden spoon hanging from her mouth, the first eighteen years of her life are as uneventful as they come. contrary to what many believe, priya had never been raised to view herself differently than her human peers — to her, they were one and the same, raised by a revolving door of nannies & weened on socio - political bad blood that dictated which little one she was allowed to associate with on any given week. she jet sets on vacations to the south of france, studies abroad in the english countryside, stands pretty next to her father at quarterly business functions, the picture - perfect family unit. it's normal, or as normal as it can be.

eighteen brings the type of change that's difficult to ignore ; her friends age, nineteen to twenty, twenty - one to twenty - five. she watches them get older with interest, her own cheeks still rife with baby fat & that adolescent glow. her parents are hardly helpful, too preoccupied to help her handle the tectonic shift of her life. sure, she knows other families like hers, huli jings in all forms, hiding in plain sight, yet the feeling of loneliness is crushing. the friends she'd known all her life slowly fade into marriages, divorces, births of children, secondary degrees — she is always two steps behind. she is always chasing. she will never catch up.

there's something dangerous about the boredom of girls. after several years of relative peace, it was only right that she make her own entertainment. it wasn't supposed to happen, not in the matter that it did, of course. it really had been a misconstrued conversation that forced questions about the pawityakul family to the surface — how was it that they seemed to age in slow - motion ? how odd, that the company her father spearheaded . . . had never changed hands ? she'd heard the whispers, the speculation without concrete proof, but the admission from her own mouth had sparked quite a stir. humans are curious little creatures, she supposes. they were going to almost catch on eventually.

getting older doesn't necessarily make one wiser, & maturity is not necessarily something that comes with age. her parents send her off as punishment : it doesn't matter where you go, but you can't stay here. they don't cut her off entirely, but it's enough to sting, knowing that they're just a bit tired of having her antics around. maybe that's why she stumbles upon oldham, a seemingly quaint little town that unfolds before her eyes. it's not home. truthfully, she doesn't know where that is anymore. but it's something. and maybe that's enough.

𝐯𝐢𝐢. 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

her entire slogan is ' here for a good time, not a long time ' — perpetual loser of the idgaf war, a hater at her core, a disaster gay with a god complex.

if you peel back a layer or sixty, you might uncover that priya is surprisingly . . . fixated on how others perceive her. despite her loud protests claiming to not give an everloving fuck about what other people think, she really does — at her core — want to be liked. it's complicated.

her father is the chairman of the board for a highly influential energy holdings company . . . in an ideal scenario, priya is set to inherit the position. whether or not her parents allow that to happen given her behavior . . . remains to be seen.

has not outright admitted to her huli jing status, obviously, but has come quite close to letting the truth slip, hence her parents' decision to send her off and out of the public eye.

has pretended to be human for her own amusement on multiple occasions. motivations ? extremely unclear at this time, but one might speculate that it's a ploy to reinvent herself . . . a symptom of not really liking who she is, what she's become.

has assumed a handful of different identities, little costumes tried on for her own amusement, throughout the years since being sent off. you know . . . normal things that all girls experience.

which is to say that there was a pretty large gap between when her parents cut their ties & when she found oldham. she doesn't talk about the in - between years.

was first in line to see the barbie movie. she may or may not have seen it multiple times. let's just say she's quite the fan.

is the embodiment of the kitschy / campy early 2010s phrase : you may be the king, but watch the queen conquer.

an extremely skilled chess and cards player — she enjoys the thrill of it all, the adrenaline rush of winning. yes, she is an extremely sore loser. and yes, she may very well be a cheat.

was absolutely a boarding school child.

is actually a menace — i don't picture priya as ever being born, frankly. i just picture her as emerging from the depths of hell as a full fledged adult determined to cause several problems on purpose.

unfortunately is one of those folks that simply has too much money. eat the rich. she's easily bored, not easily entertained, hence her penchant for causing her own trouble.

doesn't know how to be bad at anything in a graceful manner. best believe that she will not entertain things that she isn't good at from the start. why spend time focusing on what she isn't good at, when she could dedicate her time to what she is good at ?

honestly i say she's an only child, but how funny would it be for a half - sibling to just . . . pop up out of nowhere. i'm not saying, but i'm saying !

is really largely inspired by every 2000s / 2010s high - teen show you can imagine : gossip girl, pretty little liars, the OC, one tree hill, etc.

if anyone has ever had the unfortunate displeasure of writing with my character haven, i regret to inform you that priya is haven in a different font.

𝐯𝐢𝐢𝐢. 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 ; 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 .

if blair waldorf & brooke davis spawned a child . . . i'm convinced she would be priya ! also vaguely loosely inspired by the imagery of amma crelin & sharp objects . . . just with considerably less murder, yk ? i just love a good unreliable narrator with a considerable amount of sass & some evident unresolved issues. if you need a character to cause problems for your character on purpose . . . please look no further because you have found your girl !

#&. * — intro / priya pawityakul.#&. * — intro / she is a rose more thorn than petal.#can we pretend it didn't take me a full entire week to produce this............#but alas she's here !

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wordsbereft · 10 months

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☼ congratulations, wellesley hastings, you’ve been accepted as a restoration ecologist at hampton valley in grand hazel national park this summer! we could tell from your application that you are bored and restless, so we are so pleased to welcome you from pearl city, hawaiʻi for your first summer on staff. hopefully you can check writing the great american novel, stopping climate change, and skinny dipping in a hot spring off your bucket list. please consult your employee handbook with questions!

QUICK INFO.

NAME: wellesley hastings NICKNAME: wells AGE: fifty-eight PLACE OF BIRTH: monaco city, monaco NATIONALITY: american GENDER: cisgender man PRONOUNS: he/him ORIENTATION: bisexual RELIGION: buddhist PARENTS: marianne & stearns SIBLINGS none LANGUAGES: english, mandarin ( fluent ) ʻōlelo hawaiʻi ( conversational ) EDUCATION: institut montana zugerberg, university of michigan - ann arbor ( environmental engineering ) INTERESTS: the outdoors, nature, literature, climate activism HOBBIES: nature photography, hiking, writing, photography

PERSONALITY.

mbti. istj-t enneagram. 1w2, the activist instinct. so/sx neuroses. dyslexia character inspo. zhongli, genshin impact / jing yuan, honkai: star rail / ango sakaguchi, bungou stray dogs / rhaegar targaryen, a song of ice and fire / pepper potts, mcu

earnest, well-meaning, intelligent, passionate

bored, restless, spoiled, single-minded

BIOGRAPHY.

his parents met each other in a chance encounter at the 32nd venice biennale. it was a meeting that charmed them both, but neither of them acted on their feelings until they met again in paris fashion week but a few months later. one thing led to another, and wellesley was thus born.

his parents' union, however, is short-lived. it became increasingly clear as time passed that whatever attraction the couple had was borne from mere momentary passions. rather than live together and stew in potential bitterness, the couple decided to split amicably. as his mother's occupation often took her out of the country, wellesley lived with his father in hawaiʻi and would accompany his mother on her travels during the summers.

wells once dreamed of becoming an astronaut, but settled instead into the far more grounded life of a college professor teaching water resources engineering at the university of idaho.

he retired three years ago aged fifty-five — almost absurdly young for a professor, but his means allowed him to pursue the possibility — and had planned the time to work on the great american novel (the plot and genre of which is always changing, whenever you ask him!) but a very bad case of writer's block convinced him to go find something else to fill his time with.

wells found his position through the national experienced workforce solutions, a non-profit that works with government agencies in promoting age-diverse workplaces.

#ghintro #❛ WELLESLEY HASTINGS ， INFO !

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indepth-mbti · 1 year

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What's the explanation for the existence of the countertypes in Naranjo's theory? I'm currently reading Beatrice Chestnut's "The Complete Enneagram" and there's no word of where does this concept come from. This particular theory always sounded illogical to me, I'm very open to being wrong though so that's why I want to give it a chance, but in order to check for its validity I need to know why that would even be a thing.

This is a very interesting question, and I admit that I have been thinking about the counterphobic topic during this last year after re-reading Naranjo. I don’t really agree with his take on the counterphobic subtype, but I can see where he comes from.

The Enneagram is a triadic system strongly based on Gurdjieff’s the Law of Three: three instincts, three triads (centers of intelligence, harmonic groups, etc). Everything goes through triadic aggrupations. You’ll notice that for each one of these triadic formations, there is one type that doesn’t seem to actually match its triadic formation, for example:

For the Centers of Intelligence: The E1 rejects and limits the body centers, goes against it. The E7 rejects and avoids the fear center, it goes against it. The E4 rejects its need for an external image, it goes against it.

It really looks like it’s a pull and push system. From the very beginning Naranjo bases his theory in the Buddhist take of the human fall called “the three poisons: unconscious, aversion and craving”. And I think that this is the scheme that made Naranjo think about an instinct going against the very nature of a certain Enneagram type.

Is it correct? In my opinion, it is quite an inconsistent affirmation. It is true that, for example, the sp subtype doesn’t quite match the E2 nature, but for the E5 we’ll find that both the soc and sx subtype go against the E5 nature; so why it is the sexual subtype the cp one? I think that the cp implementation is a theoretical ad hoc addition that is meant to cover the holes in his Enneagram Subtypes theory.

I think that Naranjo’s mistake regarding subtypes and the final cp implementation is how inconsistent it is that the Instincts change that much the initial nature of the Enneagram type. This even goes against his original scheme of the human psyche that you can find in the Introduction of Character and Neurosis.

This is the triadic scheme of the conscious/unconscious according to Naranjo. Here, you can find again the obsession for the Law of Three: the passion and fixation that characterize each enneagram type, and - deep down the unconscious - the three instincts.

Naranjo thought that the “neurosis” of the Enneagram type was actually an interference in the instinctual life (here it comes the Freudian influence); but his take on the subtypes and the existence of the countertype just imply the exact opposite: that the instincts are an interference of the Enneagram type.

This is an inconsistency of Naranjo’s Enneagram of Personality. If the instincts take the secondary role of affecting the Enneagram type, you’ll eventually find that some instincts don’t match well with the trait structure that Naranjo uses to describe the Enneagram types. Due to this theoretical problem, Naranjo created the counterphobic subtypes.

Here, I have to agree with Luckovich’s take and say that in personality terms, it’s obvious that the instinct comes first and the Enneagram type is a result of your strategies to cover the instinctual needs. Of course, this doesn’t mean that Naranjo’s trait structures are incorrect or that his descriptions of the subtypes are not accurate.

#enneagram #countertype #naranjo

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ouspenskii · 1 year

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I have made some art out of the teachings of the 4th way if you guys would like to have a look, I have loved making these and I am open to suggestions and feedback, Thankyou.

The most important piece to me that has become a part of me ever since I first learned about Gurdjieff and ouspenskii is "man of 4 bodies" It simplified for me: the only things I really have, and can work with in my life are my mind, emotions and my body It helped me understand how the 4 canters should relate to each other ideally. Particularly in non expression of negative emotions. it gave me a taste of self remembering.

I have tried to create all of these pieces remembering myself or being in the unborn if you are familiar with bankei yotaku.

The diagram of everything i was just really fascinated by i had actually drawn it on my entire living room wall i liked to relate it to the progression of the ray of creation, compare the higher worlds to the higher realms stated by buddhist and sufi masters, it gave me great joy to intellectually mull over it endlessly. I do not understand the theory of hydrogens in depth, but i painted it on my wall in hopes of getting more out of it every-time i was sitting in front of it.

The enneagram is mostly aesthetic art for me at the moment, i have a vague understanding of it but i realize it is important for many of the fellow self remembers so i had to produce it. Also this remark from gurdjieff speaks of its gravity "All knowledge can be included in the enneagram and with the help of the enneagram it can be interpreted"

I have made sure that these pieces have content exactly and only from the books where it is coming straight from Gurdjieff it has nothing from any website or other external sources or from me. It is very much art for learning and practice like a diagram in a science textbook or instructions on a temple wall.

#gurdjieff #ouspensky #the fourth way #in search of the miraculous

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putawaytheglobe · 1 year

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Read recently: The Zen of Therapy: Uncovering a Hidden Kindness in Life Mark Epstein The Buddhist Enneagram: Nine Paths to Warriorship Susan Piver Vogue Sewing Radical Sewing: Pattern-Free, Sustainable Fashions for All Bodies Kate Weiss https://www.instagram.com/p/Coqgqi5t8ffk6ZUAT8RjHkjufv5oMOEDcua4HY0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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alexdli · 1 year

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HISTORY | HEADCANONS | CONNECTIONS | SOUNDTRACK

◇──◆──◇──◆◇──◆──◇──◆◇──◆──◇──◆◇──◆─

♦︎ basics;

Full Name: Alexander David Li

Nickname/Preferred Name: Alex

Age: thirty-six

Birthday: December 30, 1986

Zodiac: Capricorn sun, Capricorn moon, Capricorn rising

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Relationship Status: Single; mostly divorced x 1

Religion: his mom was Buddhist and taught him some, but most of it has faded over time and it isn't a daily part of his life as much as something he thinks about from time to time.

Neighborhood: Montara

Occupation: general practice attorney

♦︎ background;

Place of Birth: San Diego, CA

Hometown: San Diego, CA

Education: BA in Communications, SDSU (2013); LL.M (2014), S.J.D (2017), Harvard

♦︎. physical;

Faceclaim: Harry Shum, Jr.

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Brown

Height: 1.80m (5'11")

Weight: 72kg (159 lbs)

Tattoos, Birthmarks, Scars, etc: tbd

♦︎ relatives;

Father:

Father’s Status: Alive

Father's Occupation: in prison

Mother:

Mother’s Status: Deceased

Siblings:

♦︎ connections;

full listing

Anderson Ramsay, ex-wife?; @andiramsay

Rhea Gujral, first heartbreak; @rhea-gujral

Evie Morris, home reno ; @evangelinemorris

♦︎ personality;

Positive Traits: humble, hard-working, caring

Negative Traits: apprehensive, stubborn, guarded

♦︎ personality assessments;

Zodiac: Capricorn ☀ | Capricorn ☾ | Capricorn ↑

MBTI: INTJ-T (The Architect)

Enneagram: Type 4 (The Individualist)

Love Language: Quality Time

Harry Potter house:

♦︎ Timelines;

History/Biographical

Dash Chronology

♦︎ Headcanons;

Full page here

Speaks Cantonese

♦︎ Biography: tw prison, burglary, drugs, death, divorce

Alex was born in San Diego, California, the second son and third child of immigrant parents. While his mom worked tirelessly in whatever jobs she could get, barely able to get by in a place dominated by a language she barely spoke, his dad tried less conventional methods of supporting a family, winding up in jail for a long time as the fall guy in a burglary that went bad. Thankfully, no one was killed. But it sowed a seed of discontent in young Alex that would never be entirely plucked away.

His older brother took up the charge, following in dad's footsteps to some extent. But with related drug charges and different circumstances, his brother floated in and out of jail well into adulthood. He could be out now, but Alex wouldn't know.

Escapism came in the form of a neighbor who let Alex do chores for pocket money (that he would hide from his brother because he wasn't an idiot). To this day, his 'Aunt Nan' is one of his favorite people. She encouraged him to just keep his head down and work hard, to refuse becoming like his brother or his father.

Another form of refuge for him was the gym around the corner from his family's small apartment. He was there enough that, by the time he was in high school, they gave him a job. He quickly learned he would need a college degree to advance very far, much to his disappointment. Though he'd done fine in high school, graduating with no one present in spite of all the obvious roadblocks. he hadn't ever had the bandwidth to consider college.

Witnessing the struggle of Nan's son to gain US citizenship influenced him to consider more schooling in order to become an immigration attorney, though saving for it proved a little daunting. He eventually worked his way up to being a personal trainer, no degree required, which made a little more money to help him toward his goal.

His mom died shortly before he finished high school, a combination of way too young and, to him, too old considering her struggles and heartbreak. Though Nan had been his support system, by virtue of being around, he loved his mom. She was the only other constant in his life and the loss absolutely floored him.

While he did qualify for some assistance during his undergraduate education, he continued to work in a gym near his college in order to pay his way without student loans as much as he could. It was a stalling effort, because there were a few times living expenses got the better of him and he had to sit out a semester, but eventually he made it to law school under his own steam.

While in law school, he met Andi Ramsay and she basically made his blood boil with a competitive fire he hadn't entirely realized he had, pushing him to work harder than ever before (which, he felt, was saying something.)

Eventually, they would marry and begin planning a family together, something he hadn't known he'd wanted at all until he and Andi really began negotiating in earnest.

Andi's brother, and moreso Andi's drive to help her brother out of sticky situations, drove a wedge between them and led directly to first, their plans being put on hold indefinitely and eventually to their divorce. It wasn't the kind of failure Alex really knew how to cope with. Rather than face it head-on, he's been wallowing and never filed their final paperwork. They have a total of five years until their petition expires so he could file it, but something is still holding him back.

Between the time Andi left to really focus on her brother and now, Alex's Aunt Nan passed away after a brief illness. It's possible this has led to his reluctance to finalize their divorce because Nan adored the girl and encouraged him to do everything for the person who really woke him up and helped him learn so much about himself.

#hmbintro #( about. )

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lowcountry-gothic · 6 months

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In Tibetan, the word for equanimity is tang-nyom. Tang means ‘release’ and nyom means ‘equalize.’ Equanimity is not about feeling fine with whatever happens. It has more to do with relaxing with what is….This is at the root of true equanimity, and when the focus on suffering can be softened, Fours will find they have a gift for it.

Susan Piver, The Buddhist Enneagram: Nine Paths to Warriorship

#quotes #susan piver #the buddhist enneagram #enneagram #enneagram 4 #buddhism #tibetan #equanimity #growth

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kaesileigh · 2 years

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As I'm leaning into this soul work that I'm doing, it's been a fucking journey! I am embracing what comes up--everyone and thing that comes into our space, we draw to us and becomes our teacher. I called in my teachers yesterday and encountered someone at the bar who exclaimed that she manifested me that day because she was thinking about me and trying to remember what I'd said about numerology when we last met. And then my friend, Lauren...we spoke for 1 hr & 11 minutes. Spoke in spiritual and higher frequency terms.

Shit is starting to flow. I was feeling frustrated and overwhelmed (and still will plenty probably), but having a moment of reflection on changes I'm seeing as I'm changing my heart, mind, and energetic frequency.

The journey involving yoga, enneagram, astrology, Maslow's pyramid, Byron Katie's The Work, Buddhist philosophy, the life purpose system, Eden method, chakras, reiki, divine gifts and life lessons, law of attraction, Brene Brown's work, SARK...

And areas I want to look more into: sacred geometry, somatic healing, sounds healing, frequency work, functional medicine

I want to designate 15 minutes every day to practice reiki. Intentionally.

I am being reminded how important authentic connection is. Soulful connection. That print my energy there (instead of where I "lack,") creates a beautiful free flow. Remember that I have a robust curiosity--beautiful thing! And encourage myself to follow those pulls! Remember the joy in exploration! Leads to expansion. Reminder to open. When defensiveness and the urge to protect and shit down comes up, take a deep breath, sink into the seat of self, remain open, and wade through/perhaps ride out the discomfort.

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aquietanarchy · 3 years

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i'm at this point in my life where i don't think i can safely be a christian for Trauma Reasons (as in, i tried reading the freaking Sermon On The Mount a week and a half ago after not touching the bible in who-knows-how-long and had a brief bout of suicidal ideation)

so i've like, Officially Deconverted, i guess, and it feels like a big weight off my chest!

but i'm still a fan of god and theology and religion etc, and i honestly think that christianity can be something really beautiful and life-giving and healthy. i'm still married to a christian and have a bunch of christian friends that i trust and feel safe around.

it kinda sucks but i don't feel as welcome in ex-christian communities, because of some of the hostility i've seen toward progressive/affirming christians. which is ofc Understandable, and nobody owes niceness toward a belief system that traumatized them and people they love!! but also, like. on a Personal note. if you didn't like me as a progressive christian then you don't get to like me as an ex-christian and for the love of dog can we please stop acting as if biblical literalism is the only way to engage with christianity, i don't actually think my abusers were right about everything.

TLDR; yarrow stops being a christian, but continues to be a contrarian bitch

#i blame it on being an enneagram 4w5 #personal - dont reblog #yarrow speaks into the void #the inner light #sauntering vaguely downwards #(if i had to put a name on my current spirituality?#id say: agnostic-theist quaker student of the dao)#(also im a bit in love with guanyin atm but i dont feel like being buddhist shsgsgsgs)#suicidal ideation tw #sorry i forgot to tag that at first!!

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meditation-practices · 2 years

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Following the "Yellow Stream!"

Following the “Yellow Stream!”

Last night was quite difficult for me. I felt really exhausted and didn’t like what was going on in my body. I prepared a modest meal and got in bed to read more of That’s Funny, You Don’t Look Buddhist. I enjoy it thoroughly, but the chapter on the holocaust moved me to tears and longing. I felt rejected by god and Jews as a child, but something is still trying to make itself felt in the way of…

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#Abhidhamma #Alan Sheets #Buddhist psychology #Cancerport #enneagram #Feldenkrais #first transcendental experience #Following the "Yellow Stream!"#Leslie Davenport #lymphatic return #Sylvia Boorstein #That&039;s Funny #The Enneagram of the Body #You Don&039;t Look Buddhist

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funkymbtifiction · 2 years

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I'm confused about the chicken and egg aspect of the Enneagram - do life events push you towards being a type, or does your reaction to an event simply *show* your type? What about instances where someone changes in response to a dramatic event that really made an impression on them? For example, could a 1 work steadily to improve themselves and thereby "look" like a different type because they idealised the positive traits of that type and felt this would help them be "good"?

Thank you :)

From my Te standpoint, it really doesn't matter which comes first (are you born or created your type?) but in my opinion, you react to things as your type, rather than circumstances changing you into that type. You just pick the interpretation that aligns with your mental process and that tells how to survive / thrive / stay safe / etc. All types are seeking safety in some form -- self-preservation not in a subtype way, but in a "I have to do this to be okay" way. It's just what triggers inside their mind when confronted by life.

I suspect changing as a result of something having a dramatic impact might mean maturing within your own type, or reaching another health level within it. EG, you are an unhealthy 2 who sees a truly healthy 2, is inspired, and becomes more like that. Or a 6 who admires someone else's self-confidence and molds themselves after that person more in their personal life. I think a 1 is always going to look like a 1 -- but as Richard Rohr would say, an "un-redeemed 1 and a redeemed 1 are very different." One is obviously critical, nitpicking, and finds fault unnecessarily in everything, but a redeemed 1 inspires others by how dedicated they are to doing what is Right.

I don't think a 1 would internalize traits from another type and see them as good, because their own inner sense of goodness / criticism already informs them of what that "looks like" in themselves (to strive for perfection, which is to think unproductively, because perfection does and cannot exist, which makes it an irrational goal). David Gray says something like 1s think they know more than God about what is good / bad or appropriate, they make themselves the governing authority of those things. Which means that the people who are focused on being 'perfect' according to any standard but their own are probably 6s rather than 1s -- eg, the perfect Muslim / Christian / Buddhist, following all these rules established by somebody else, rather than me and my own inner committee of critics!

#question #enneagram

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enbie-tumble · 3 years

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What the enneagram types need to learn

Type 1~ Being perfect doesn’t equate to your worth as a person. Not only is perfection in achievable, and an illusion, nobody is perfect, it’s like a mirage.

Type 2~ Love isn’t smothering. It isn’t slaving. Doing things for people doesn’t mean you love them. Your worth doesn’t come from self sacrifice.

Type 3~ “Being the best” isn’t important. It doesn’t matter, all the trophies you won, the medals, the awards, pieces of paper, fame or fortune. All that is temporary and dies with you.

Type 4~ Your persona is not you. You are not your identity. Your identity is not limited to what you wear, clothing and fashion fads, your hairstyle. You are not where you shop or the brands you buy. You are deeper than any label you or anyone else can give you.

Type 5~ You are not limited to your intelligence. You don’t have to know everything or know how to do everything to be valuable.

Type 6~ Relax a little. You don’t need someone to be secure. Be secure in yourself. You don’t get that from a person or an ideology or belief system. You are okay without anyone or anything else.

Type 7~ Slow down. You spend so much time hopping place to place, and so quickly, you forget to really notice everything. You can be flakey, you can miss out.

Type 8~ It’s okay to be soft. It’s okay to let people in. It’s okay to be vulnerable and cry and show when you’re hurting. It’s okay to voice your feelings. It’s okay to say you need affection or gentleness.

Type 9~ You’re okay. Don’t listen to the others. They all have their vices and fixations, but you, 9, you are always in bliss. Do not listen to the 1 that demands perfection, or to the 3 that demands being the best. Do not listen to the 4 lost in vain pursuit of masking themselves into newer and more improved facades, nor the 7 who can never be still and at rest. 9, you are Buddhist, at peace with it all, you have found Nirvana, on your couch.

#the enneagram

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