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babyybitchhh · 4 years

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Shikamaru or Senku?

Damn, anon. You really just came for my throat like that. I don’t know what I’ve done to hurt you but, from the bottom of my heart, I apologize. I swear it won’t happen again. 🤧

Okay, okay. All jokes aside. This is a real toughie and I’m gonna have to reveal just how much of a dumb bitch I really am to explain my answer. Yes, I fall back on the zodiac to fill in any gaps in characterization and determine just how compatible I actually am with fictional men. Sue me. As per usual, this post got a bit away from me so if you want to skip down to the TL;DR for my final answer, please do. I encourage it, actually. lol

Ishigami Senkuu

January 4th - Capricorn

Strengths: leadership, responsible, disciplined, self-control, good managers

Weaknesses: lack of compassion, know-it-all, unforgiving, condescending, expecting the worst

“Capricorn is a sign that represents time and responsibility, and its representatives are traditional and often very serious by nature. These individuals possess an inner state of independence that enables significant progress both in their personal and professional lives. They are masters of self control and have the ability to lead the way, make solid and realistic plans, and manage many people who work for them at any time. They will learn from their mistakes and get to the top based solely on their experience or expertise.”

“Known for their rational approach to life and their emotions are often well hidden from plain view. Not only is it imperative for them to stick to the realm of absolute intimacy to open their heart for someone but they are often not fully aware of their feelings before hardships occur. This will put pressure on their love life as they have to make a strict and specific equation out of everything, distancing them from carefree and smiling partners who wish to have fun in a relationship.”

“There is nothing easy in the love life of these individuals but they will not see this as the end of the world. They have enough passion and warmth carried within and if mutual respect is found and strong boundaries respected both ways, they will be prepared to let someone into their world and protect them with their shield.”

“As an earth sign, Capricorn has a powerful and instinctive sensuality which expresses itself in a straightforward and natural way without the need for props, frills or adornment. Is it somewhat bereft of romance? Well maybe, but what Capricorn lacks in the way of sentimentality, it more than makes up for in terms of responsibility and discretion ... once it overcomes its initial reserve and caution, it can usually be relied upon to give full satisfaction, no matter how long it takes. As with most other things in its life, Capricorn prefers to take its time over its lovemaking, and its highly developed self-control gives it the stamina to stay the course.”

Nara Shikamaru

September 22 - Virgo

Strengths: pure emotion, loyal, analytical, kind, hardworking, practical

Weaknesses: sensitive to toxic environments, shyness, worry, overly critical of self and others, all work and no play

“Virgo’s are always paying attention to the smallest details and their deep sense of humanity makes them one of the most careful of the zodiac. Their methodical approach to life ensures that nothing is left to chance and although they are often tender, their heart might be closed for the outer world. This is a sign often misunderstood, not because they lack the ability to express but because they won’t accept their feelings as valid, true or even relevant when opposed to reason.”

“Feelings of love and life may be a bit like ocean waves that move with the current. With so much water flowing through their primal nature, their rational mind will easily fade around those that touch their heart. This makes them vulnerable to all sorts of betrayals and wrong compromises along the way. They need to be stable and firm in understanding and deciphering their own feelings before anyone else’s or they might lower their guard too far down.”

“They need a partner who is as fragile as they are but also someone who is aware of the strength of their emotional world.”

“ Many Virgos aren’t particularly comfortable with demonstrative displays of emotion or dramatic, over-the-top outbursts. Normally quite shy by nature, they prefer to express their affection in tangible, down-to-earth ways: love for them is about actions, not just empty words. Big worriers who don’t find it easy to show their feelings, Virgos are prone to internalizing their anxieties about their physical desirability – frequently making themselves ill in the process – and can often be a bit uptight around sex. To balance this, they need lots of reassurance that they’re actually perfectly okay!”

Now ... y’all can correct me if I’m wrong, but that all sounds pretty spot on to me. Like, it’s accurate. I’ve mentioned this a few times when replying to comments on my Dr Stone fics, but I really enjoy how nuanced Senkuu is because there’s a lot going on under the surface of his cool facade. He’s very task-oriented and objective about what needs to be done, but he’s also extremely sympathetic towards others even if he tries to play it off. It seems hard for him to be honest about his feelings because, frankly, they’re not rational enough for his liking, so he tries to find ways to justify them. On the flip side, Shikamaru is a little similar with his cool, objective-oriented outer shell but he’s conversely quite sensitive. Like, hella sensitive. That boy is not anywhere near as tough or impenetrable as he acts and I do think at least part of that is a defense mechanism of some sort to shield his heart, even before Asuma died but especially afterward. They’re both tough to penetrate emotionally and they guard their true feelings so well that it actually does manage to fool people. I mean both the characters around them and also the fans watching at home. So at this point, there doesn’t seem to be a conclusive winner and it should come down to a simple matter of preference, right?

Well, let’s see what the stars have to say about throwing a Leo into the mix.

Capricorn + Leo

“... have one thing in common and it’s their awareness of self. It will be a rare occasion when Leo is attracted to Capricorn but the other way around seems more probable.”

“Both are extremely devoted, especially to each other. Although they may seem to be an unlikely couple on the surface, their love will grow as they discover similarities.”

“Like Barbie and Ken, you’re a good looking pair ... your shared love of achievement and impressive ambition sends power couple fantasies running through your heads. If you’re out to conquer the same goal, your combined skills make you quite an awesome force to behold.”

“The physical intimacy between a Leo and a Capricorn is where this mismatched couple can come together. Leo is hot, physical, feminine, [and] enjoys giving pleasure. In a day to day life, Capricorn is reserved and proper but when it comes to sex, he wants it wild, woolly, rough and tumble. Lucky for him, Leo has a similar sexual appetite. It’s in bed where Leo has the power to make customarily reserved Capricorn throw caution to the wind and become a bit crazy in love.”

“What you’ve got here is one sign with a forensic eye for detail and another who paints with an incredibly broad brushstroke. The possibility of driving each other crazy is real.”

“Capricorn is more likely to be attracted to Leo than the other way around - they’ll watch the lion prance, preform and captivate with their personality and either instantly dislike or feel uncomfortably drawn to them.”

The good: both seek success, Capricorn teaches Leo patience, Leo teaches Capricorn passion

The bad: Leo thinks Capricorn is a cold fish, Capricorn thinks Leo is a show off, it all gets too hard to compromise

Virgo + Leo

“Their rationality might turn into an intellectual battle for sexual dominance, that is, if they ever reach the point in which they both want to have sex with each other.”

“Leo shows Virgo good times and fun, and introduces the spontaneity that is often missing from Virgo’s life. Virgo teaches Leo patience and focuses their intellectual energy.”

“Leo plays cheerleader to pessimistic Virgo while levelheaded Virgo steps into the therapists role, mirroring Leo’s angst until a breakthrough is reached. This is a safe emotional harbor for both of you.”

“Virgo and Leo see their time together in bed as a celebration of their love and commitment. Both are hopeless romantics so there will be plenty of physical foreplay, including morning kisses, long evening embraces, candles, flowers, and massages. A creative and open minded Leo is always willing to try something new and Virgo, who is no prude either, will be a willing follower. Together these two can reach sexual heights they’ve never experienced before.”

“A comedy of errors ...Leo and Virgo are forever working through misunderstandings and mending communication fences. Often it’s as if they speak different languages.”

“Leo pounces and Virgo, invariably, plays hard to get, rebuffing the lion and appearing completely underwhelmed by their charms. This of course drives Leo into a frenzy of heightened passion - they pull out their A game and deliver super hot maneuvers. The funny thing is that such scenarios are usually Virgo devised and orchestrated. They’ve probably observed the flamboyant lion in action - noted that everyone submits to their charisma and decided to go in the opposite direction. If played correctly Leo becomes a lovesick pussy cat ...”

“Virgo is a bit of a tease - for much of the “falling in Love” phase they love-starve Leo who shamelessly begs for morsels of affection. It actually makes the attraction between them electric.”

The good: Virgo teaches Leo patience, Leo teaches Virgo to have fun, they are fascinated by each other

The bad: messy Leo drives neat freak Virgo crazy, negative Virgo brings Leo down, poor communication abounds

So ... what did we take from all that? Well, first of all, both of them are apparently going to teach me patience which I admit I sorely need. Conversely, I’d bring passion, fun and spontaneity to their lives. On one hand, Senkuu seems like he’d be much more drawn to me than Shikamaru because even though I do stay drinking my dumb bitch juice, we have similar driving forces in our lives and I’m not a complete idiot. I love science, especially when it comes to learning about space and how the world works, just not the mathematical portion. That part can eat my ass tbh. On the other hand though, if Shikamaru and I could sort of find a common ground to stand on it sounds like it would be a very healthy relationship for the both of us which I need so badly it’s kind of not funny. Like, I’m self-aware enough to realize what I need out of a hypothetical relationship and it (unfortunately) is the kind of emotional connection that facilitates healing and growth rather than stagnation. I don’t think either of them would just sit there and watch me flounder in my angst, as one of those quotes put it, but everything is pointing at Shikamaru being much more well equipped to tackle the problem while simultaneously needing the same in return, which I would be more than happy to give him.

TL;DR: I actually cannot pick between them. I just can’t do it. I love them both for strangely similar but also drastically different reasons and, objectively, I can’t say I like one more than the other. Both give me soft, doki doki feelings that I don’t know what to do with and even after thinking on it for about two hours, I’m incapable of saying with definitive certainty that I like one more. So all I can go off of is what the zodiac has to say about our compatibility which is pointing at both potential relationships being rocky with their ups and downs, but Shikamaru being the more sensitive of the two comes out the winner in the end. That’s not to say I wouldn’t work with Senkuu to truly become the power couple we both secretly crave, but I know my emotions can get away from me at times and it seems to me that Shikamaru would be a smidge more understanding in that department.

I realize this definitely isn’t the answer you were expecting, anon, and I absolutely considered scrapping this whole post more than once. lol But I didn’t want to shrug off the question just because I couldn’t decide which of them I liked more. Anyway, for the sake of posterity, here’s what the zodiac has to say about me for comparison.

August 7th - Leo

Strengths: Energetic, creative, passionate, generous, warm-hearted, cheerful, humorous

Weaknesses: Hasty, arrogant, stubborn, self-centered, lazy, inflexible

“Love is the focus point of these individuals, and while their intellectual and instinctive sides are the first ones to show, we will see that they seek someone equal, to share their inner states with. They need a lot of support and a calm partner that soothes their Soul, someone quiet enough and intimate enough to feel safe with. Easy to detach from reality and our planet Earth, their relationships either speak of the unseen and the impossible or present a safe haven where their bodies can rest, and their routine can be brought to balance.”

“Open for new things and often ready to openly show their sexuality, they need a fine touch of love they are worthy of in this lifetime. Romance can be obstructed by their need to prove a point or become the image of something they admire, but as they get closer to their inner truth and become aware of their talents and potentials, they invite the right partner to be within a strangely peaceful union. Although they sometimes stand opposed to marriage and structures and forms that put any relationship in a drawer, they will gladly commit to the right person by their side, in all those surprising and unusual ways.”

“This Fire sign is passionate and sincere and its representatives show their feelings with ease and clarity. When in love, they are fun, loyal, respectful and very generous towards their loved one. They will take the role of a leader in any relationship, and strongly rely on their need for independence and initiative. This can be tiring for their partner at times, especially if they start imposing their will and organizing things that aren't theirs to organize in the first place. Each Leo needs a partner who is self-aware, reasonable and on the same intellectual level as them. Their partner also has to feel free to express and fight for themselves, or too much light from their Leo's Sun might burn their own personality down.”

“Sex life of each Leo is an adventure, fun and very energetic. This is someone who has a clear understanding of boundaries between sex and love, but might fail to see how important intimacy and emotional connection is to the quality of their sex life. Every Leo needs a partner to fight through their awareness and reach their sensitive, subconscious core, in order to find true satisfaction in a meaningful relationship.”

(Spoiler alert: this is all true, except the part about taking on the role of leader in relationships. I genuinely love being dominated in bed, but only if I deem my partner worthy or adequate enough to get the job done. Other than that though, I can’t say any part of this is horribly incorrect. Oops. : / )

#inane rambling #naruto #dr stone

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krisiunicornio · 4 years

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When we push too hard, we're prone to stress, anxiety, and exhaustion. But when we fail to apply ourselves, we may never realize our potential. In his new book, The Practice is the Path, yoga teacher Tias Little describes how to find middle ground. Plus, a pranayama practice to embody balance.

The will to perform and make progress has a long and enduring history in white America. When colonizing Europeans first arrived on the American continent, pilgrim communities advocated dutiful and strenuous work, hard labor, and, above all, “good works.” This was a motivating ethic: the more diligent and hardworking people were, the more likely they were to align their moral compass to God’s will and achieve salvation. They thought they could influence their own personal destiny, their karma, via hard work: since God worked through them, the Puritans were exercising God’s will.

Tias Little

This belief is still rampant today, as people strive to build their stock market portfolios, buy bigger houses, and gain a step up the social ladder. However the quest to realize the state of yoga necessitates something altogether different. While some effort is certainly required, one cannot simply apply a Calvinist value system to a yoga practice and expect to achieve enlightenment.

See also Pranayama 101: This Moving Breath Practice Will Teach You to Let Go

Who is "the Striver?"

For those of us raised under the influence of the Protestant work ethic or in a Judeo-Christian background, there is an implicit motivating drive to succeed. This drive has tremendous sway over much of the population, motivating people’s thoughts, beliefs, dreams, and goals. In a culture of strivers, success or failure, gain or loss, good or bad are always on the line. The pervasive influence of this force goes largely unacknowledged until, in quiet moments of reflection and contemplation, you shine the lantern of your awareness on your own inner striver.

In the second half of my practice life, I have spent precious time reflecting on the origins of my own inner striver. My father was an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church, as was my grandfather and his father before him. Even though I was not actively raised in a church community, the Protestant ethic circulated through my bloodstream. When I first began yoga, invisible forces urged me on, motivating me into handstands and backbends. I was under the spell of familial and cultural assumptions as I strived toward gain and sought approval. These were forces that had been set in motion long ago, persuasive forces much bigger and more impactful than my short lifetime.

It has taken me many years to be able to identify the underlying forces at work in me. This reckoning has required patience, perseverance, and real faith. Countless times I have posed these questions to myself: What am I yoking to? Who is the striver? And what is there to gain? It has been like an archeological dig, sifting through layers and layers of personal history. In the way that an archeologist excavates an ancient site using small picks, trowels and brushes, quarrying the depth psyche requires painstaking and delicate work. Through contemplation and insight meditation, I have sifted through many layers of karma—hope, fear, and longing that left their imprints on the soft sand of my soul.

See also Is It Adrenal Fatigue? What You Need to Know if You Feel Tired All the Time

Integrating “The Striver” into our Signature Self

I think each of us is replete with artifacts from our familial and cultural ancestry, encoded like DNA into our skin, bones, and flesh. When we first adopt Eastern practices, such as yoga or qigong, we attempt to break free from the archival material of our personal history. While the first half of a practice may involve assuming the garb, speaking the lingo, and performing the exotic rituals of a foreign land, in the second half of the journey we must circle back home to integrate the personal history of our own signature self.

The challenge of working with the striver is not merely a twenty-first-century dilemma. On the map of the Eightfold Path, right effort speaks to the importance of not pushing too hard, on the one hand, and not conceding to sloth and torpor, on the other. The Buddha knew all too well the pitfalls of excessive effort. At the outset of his spiritual quest, he put himself through trials of extreme severity and self-punishment. He attempted to overcome his body and mind by force of will through tapas (asceticism). Through fasting, pranayama, and yoga, he pushed himself to the brink of self-immolation. Having suffered and endured corrosive self-mortifying practices, he later espoused the Middle Way, which favors neither indulgence in sense pleasures nor strenuous, backbreaking practice.

See also Pranayama 101: This Moving Breath Practice Will Teach You to Let Go

In the course of a day, whether on or off the mat, right effort requires moment-by-moment negotiation. We must ask ourselves, Am I overexerting? Or am I too passive? Right effort (or what I like to think of as balanced effort) is not a practice that we realize once and for all and then move on. We must embody balanced effort in the way we exercise, study, raise our children, communicate with our employer, and wash the dishes. In yoga, we must seek the middle ground of right effort within every pose, every pranayama breath, and in every attempt to quiet the flurry of thought in meditation.

Realizing right effort in the arc of daily life is critical to wellbeing. Off the mat, when we push too hard, we are prone to stress, anxiety, and exhaustion. On the other hand, when we fall short and fail to apply ourselves, we may never realize our potential.

Skillful action suggests the delicate balance between alertness and ease, resiliency and yielding. Right effort must be fueled by enthusiasm, focus, endurance, and grace.

Through right effort, we come to a part of the journey that the ego-self could never imagine. We enter territory where there is nothing to get or grasp, and there is no more becoming. With the mind empty and attentive, we come into a presence that evades definition and cannot be put into words. It is a strange state of grace, one that always escapes definition. It is like being filled by vast, wondrous, open space.

See also How to Cultivate More Energy Through Your Inhalations

Pranayama Exercise to Find Middle Ground

Begin this pranayama practice by lying on a bolster or folded blankets elevated four to six inches off the floor, so that your entire spine is supported. Place a small blanket or towel under the back of your head so that your cranium is propped upward and slightly higher than your neck. Be sure that your spine is centered on the bolster and that your lungs spread laterally away from the midline.

Once you lie down, allow your body to be completely still and observe the fluid movement of your breath. At the start, breathe naturally, letting your breath flow of its own accord. Sense and feel the texture and consistency of your breath as it brushes against the back of your throat. Remain for several minutes simply observing the inherent motion of your breath.

See also Pranayama 101: This Mindful Breathing Practice Builds Ease After Asana

Then bring your awareness to your inhalation. Observe the beginning, the middle, and the top of your in-breath. Carefully, and with real finesse, actively expand your inhalation. In the same way that a balloon fills with air, sense the expansion of your lungs against your back ribs, side ribs, and front ribs. Practice right effort as you breathe in. Avoid being greedy and forceful by attempting to take in the maximum amount of air. This violates the spirit of pranayama. Rather, yield to the breath in the way that tall grass yields to the wind, moving in time with the current of the air. Right effort requires exquisite listening. If you overexert in pranayama, it will cause strain in your intercostal muscles, your diaphragm, and the visceral membranes around your lungs and heart. Use just the right amount of force to expand. Pranayama should never be conducted through willful effort.

Now breathe in halfway, pause, and retain your breath for several seconds. Breathe in again toward the top of your lungs. In the pause, allow your awareness to soak inward. The more you are able to soak inward, the more you will relinquish control over your breath.

Next divide your inhalation into two parts, pausing first at 30 percent capacity, then again at about 60 percent capacity, before breathing to the top of your lungs. Have an intention to receive your breath rather than striving to fill your lungs to capacity. Find right effort in pranayama, the delicate middle ground between too much effort and too little. Practice this technique for ten minutes before letting your breath return to normal. Lie in Savasana for several minutes before coming up to sitting.

Excerpted from The Practice is the Path by Tias Little, Shambhala Publications, Inc., 2020. Reprinted with permission. Edited for context and brevity.

Want to study with Tias? Join him this Thursday at 11:30 am EDT for a live webinar, Free Flow for Energy & Deep Rest. Through a discussion and practice, you’ll learn how to open your nadis, fascia, and joints in order to facilitate the flow life force and enhance circulation. Learn more and sign up here.

#sleep sounds #sleep music #white noise app #nature sounds #relaxing sounds #rain sounds for sleeping

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cedarrrun · 4 years

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Tias Little

See also Pranayama 101: This Moving Breath Practice Will Teach You to Let Go

Who is "the Striver?"

See also Is It Adrenal Fatigue? What You Need to Know if You Feel Tired All the Time

Integrating “The Striver” into our Signature Self

See also Pranayama 101: This Moving Breath Practice Will Teach You to Let Go

Skillful action suggests the delicate balance between alertness and ease, resiliency and yielding. Right effort must be fueled by enthusiasm, focus, endurance, and grace.

See also How to Cultivate More Energy Through Your Inhalations

Pranayama Exercise to Find Middle Ground

See also Pranayama 101: This Mindful Breathing Practice Builds Ease After Asana

Excerpted from The Practice is the Path by Tias Little, Shambhala Publications, Inc., 2020. Reprinted with permission. Edited for context and brevity.

#sleep sounds #sleep music #white noise app #nature sounds #relaxing sounds #rain sounds for sleeping

0 notes

amyddaniels · 4 years

Text

Are You a Striver? Yoga Can Help You Break Cycles of Overexertion and Stress

Tias Little

See also Pranayama 101: This Moving Breath Practice Will Teach You to Let Go

Who is "the Striver?"

See also Is It Adrenal Fatigue? What You Need to Know if You Feel Tired All the Time

Integrating “The Striver” into our Signature Self

See also Pranayama 101: This Moving Breath Practice Will Teach You to Let Go

Skillful action suggests the delicate balance between alertness and ease, resiliency and yielding. Right effort must be fueled by enthusiasm, focus, endurance, and grace.

See also How to Cultivate More Energy Through Your Inhalations

Pranayama Exercise to Find Middle Ground

See also Pranayama 101: This Mindful Breathing Practice Builds Ease After Asana

Excerpted from The Practice is the Path by Tias Little, Shambhala Publications, Inc., 2020. Reprinted with permission. Edited for context and brevity.

0 notes

aditi-kumar-prod500-journal · 6 years

Text

PROD 500 Assignment: Vision Writing (Autobiography and Influences)

Autobiography and Influences

School:

It was a era predominantly marked by confusion, incredible envy and tremendous achievement at the same time. Despite excelling in my studies, training as much as time allowed at sports and pushing myself to do the very best for various institutions, I remember feeling happy during only a handful of moments. Teachers straddled the line between being completely supportive and rather regressive, while my schoolmates seemed to forever gossip or conspire to make the next non-conformist feel terribly about themselves.

However, if it weren’t for these conflicting forces, I would not have learned the value of hard work. Not everything came easy to me at first. But by dint of sheer bullheaded-ness (in fact, all I lacked were actual horns; I could be quite undiplomatic when I wanted to succeed badly), and the unflinching support of my parents (who in fact, believed in me more than I did myself - they often became angry if I seemed to give up at anything), I was able to attain a sense of dignity. That prevented me from kowtowing to the more ‘popular’ crowd. More importantly, the desperation to be liked, to prove myself was instead channelled into drive, not addiction. And with the help of an incredible friend who saw me through it all, I passed this phase without too much difficulty into the next.

Adolescence:

Can there be a period in your life where you remember feeling more angry than anything else? I had a chip on my shoulder about everything - from people who I was sure disliked me right off the bat, to people who really did despise me, to the way I was handling my insecurities. Instead of carefully working through them a step at a time, I’d bundle them all into one fragile basket of eggs, before dumping this on the next person who irked me. Needless to say, I was not especially kind to the people I loved, despite only wanting to be liked by everyone.

That was the key need: wanting to be liked, adored, respected. The last was begrudgingly earned because of various leadership positions I occupied over the years in school - I always did justice to my roles - but the first two were more successful in alienating others. I could be a very nice person, till I decided I had something to prove.

People I’ve loved:

He was unlike anyone I had ever met. Aloof, selfish in his need to protect himself But he was also extraordinarily kind and easy to talk to, which I’d experienced with very few before. Curiously, I readily befriended without constantly questioning his actual motives - which meant that I had absolutely no unnecessary standard to live up to.

It seemed like we could talk forever and still not cover everything we wanted each other to know. Learning about the niches in popular culture - he was very knowledgeable when it came to music and films - was now pleasurable, not an exercise in internally comparing ourselves to the other. Of course, the deep affection I had for him grew into my first love - and the moment I decided I was happy - happy that I’d found someone without any expectation of him reciprocating - a major portion of my insecurities fell away like old snakeskin.

It ended as most first loves do - on a semi-sweet parting note. His agenda was to cut off from everyone he’d met during college (for this was when I met him), and he’s ended up sticking to it. As for me, I will always remember him with immense gratitude. He gave me the confidence to be myself.

People I’ve hated:

We started out as best friends, and because we grew up together, we did everything in twos. I revered her - she was older by nearly a year, and acted it too, but somewhere along the way, the terrible curse of middle school hit. Suddenly, popularity was her number one goal (as was mine, but to a lesser and less successful degree). She quickly realized that I was prone to being mocked for deserved and undeserved reasons, and left me in the dust. I become bitter, jealous and spent most of my high school years in real unhappiness, for she also seemed to have the knack of taking away people I was close to by turning them into her lackeys.

In retrospect, this could have partly been a reaction to the secret rivalry we had, one that made us intensely competitive for a very long time. The arenas ranged from academics, to individual achievements, to winning the affection of various people in the building complex where we lived. I suspect we never were truly content with our lives - although this worked as great motivation - and that we were both frankly relieved when school ended. It meant the end of a tiring relationship forced upon us - we did not talk about our mutual resentment, and her folks did not make it easier by pretending all was hunky-dory and friendly between us.

Today, it’s a little easier to speak to her. I will probably never understand her fully, and vice-versa. But the distance has helped put the past in a new perspective. We learned hard lessons because of each other and are perhaps better for it.

Art:

The first stories I heard were about the gods and goddesses in Hindu mythology. My mum and dad regaled me in their own ways (my father’s tales had a slightly more religious bent) about the cowherd prince Krishna who stole butter; who would eventually grow up to oversee the events leading up to the legendary Kurukshetra war. There was the honorable Ram, the mischievous but big-hearted monkey-god Hanuman, Arjuna the brave warrior…and then, from the West, about Achilles, Helen, Hector and Athena.

Heroes versus villains. The struggle between good and evil - various forms of each force, of course - have been a regular feature in my imagination. Anything that involved a epic, life-changing moment to fight back influenced me, from Mulan and Aladdin and most importantly, the Harry Potter series. Even today, if I have to be brave about something, my mantra is to chant, ‘If Harry can, I can.’ The themes of friendship and sacrifice from JK Rowling added nuance to my black-and-white view of the world.

But it’s not all popular culture. My mother is an artist. From the bright, sunlit colors of Vermeer’s portraits and Van Gogh’s achingly vivid work, to Rembrandt’s elusive impressionism, her descriptions and my own research have helped me, to an extent, pursue the fine arts on my own time. I’m not the best at it, but the practice has helped better my visual storytelling abilities. My mother’s averse to anime art, though, and that was a wonderful discovery I made all by myself - in fact, it was learning the media’s strange parameters for its characters that made me practice sketching seriously.

Having grown up in Oman, big bare landscapes are the kindling to what I consider free-flowing inspiration. Its stark, rugged mountains, the unflinching heat, the unspoiled, undulating sand dunes and in sharp contrast, the utter blueness of Oman’s waters are home for me, where I can breathe and dream freely.

Role models:

Harry Potter, the orphan who found a purpose thrust upon him, and rose to the occasion. Fa Mulan, who took a potentially fatal risk and ended up saving China. Aladdin, the diamond in the rough. And Benjamin Franklin ‘Hawkeye’ Pierce of M*A*S*H, a devil-may-care surgeon who got so worked up over an injustice that he rode a jeep in bloodied scrubs through a war zone to an international conference, and protested.

Fiction is as influenced by reality as real life is by the art we make, and these four characters are heroes of mine - or should I say, very close to becoming anti-heroes till they grasped the first opportunity they were given to fulfill tremendous potential. That such initial pieces-of-work, who really believed they were creation’s mistakes, could defeat the very notion on their own, is something I try to emulate everyday. It’s a great way to overcome my severe imposter syndrome.

It’s harder to find people like that in real life, however, because of that irritating truth: they can change, and for the worse. Having said that however, JK Rowling (for her belief in failing to succeed, and the immersive world she’s created), Andy Samberg (for crazy perseverance, comedic talent and the immense clarity of mind he portrays in public), Alan Alda (for the absolute love of the work and play balance) and Charlotte Bronte (for her early feminism, and for doggedly pursuing her literary ambitions) are my role models.

And now, in my life, there are three who have made a mark on who I am today. My mum is the earliest and most enduring. We are oil and water in terms of personality, but her strategic patience and boundless love are two qualities I have to strive to imbibe. In that, she is second to none.

My dad rose from a deprived background, where some family members were decidedly less moral than others. Despite that, he refused to work without studying and today, is the only one to make it out of this narrow-minded society. His determination to prove himself, and admittedly silly humor are why I believe life is always worth improving by trying just a little harder.

The last is tricky, for I have changed in spite of him. A friend I consider a mentor in some ways, and a former crush, he is hugely talented but curiously cynical for it. I tried to become him, failed and learned the difficult way. I have come to see his virtues and faults, and have decided to forgive myself because he doesn’t; have aimed at trying to be more optimistic because he doesn’t; have moved on from believing that a single word of disapproval from him will ruin everything I’ve achieved regardless. He is a wonderful teacher, and he doesn’t even know how much I’ve studied from him!

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