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an actual guide to british slang for foreign marauders writers.

because i am sick of seeing

a) people using american english eg. mom, sneakers

b) people overusing "mate" and "innit"

alright? = a greeting, like hello.

everyday words

ain't = haven't

scran = food, or to describe eating

swear down = promise

"swear down, I didn't do nothing,"

bloody = can be used in any sentence at any time

"bloody hell" "its bloody pissing it down out there" "i was bloody wankered"

bloke = a man

innit = isn't it?

mate = equivalent of calling someone bro

bruv, lad, my son = bro, dude, etc

fags, rollies, ciggies, (NOT A SPLIFF) = cigarettes

trust = trust me

"trust, ill tell you later"

chatting (what you chatting about?) = what are you on about?

quid = pound

proper buzzing = really excited

good

sound = good

bangin' = really good

lush = good

"that scran was lush"

jokes = a laugh, funny

bare = a lot of

fit = physically attractive

"he's well fit, isn't he?"

pissed = drunk

dodgy/dodge = questionable

bad

are you taking the piss? = are you having a laugh?

thats peak = thats bad

not being funny, but... = no offense but...

gordon bennett! = surprise, shock, disbelief

slag off = talk badly about someone

"she was slagging her off to anyone who'd listen"

minging, rank = disgusting

bloody nora = expression of surprise, irritation

bollocks = nonsense, something bad

"stop talking bollocks, mate"

skint = broke

prat, git = an idiot

insults

a melt = a pathetic person

clapped = ugly

"he's fucking clapped..."

sket = a promiscuous woman

slag = ^^

minger = an unattractive person

plonker = calling someone silly, not offensive

"don't be a plonker..."

cunt = VERY OFFENSIVE!

wanker, tosser = a general insult

bender, poof = a gay man, used insultingly

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starting a little series <3 quotes from my friends as marauders textposts;

Barty :This is a lot of angst for a smut story.

Regulus : Please stop talking about my life like that.

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james potter u will always be famous

—

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Evan and Regulus trying to have a conversation and barty being Barty

The Slytherin Skittles daily group call

Barty pissed at a party ( really could be any of them )

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“Yes Remus, i’m on my way home.” Lyall sighed. The man in the back of his truck, 17 years old, black hair, silver eyes, sighed deeply. “I’ve just got to drop off this young man.”

“How old is he?” Remus asks on the other side of the phone.

“17 years old.” Lyall grumbled. Sirius, the man in the back, perked up a bit. He had gotten the police called on him because he walked on a ladies lawn. Lyall thought it was ridiculous, but the only way to make the lady happy was to take him to the ‘police station’ but he was just taking him home.

“Is he cute?” Remus asked. Lyall sighed and turned around. “And gay?”

“My son wants to know if you’re cute.” Lyall tells Sirius. He sighs. “And gay.”

Sirius grins. “Gay, yes. Cute, I believe so, sir.” He says cheekily.

Lyall sighs into the phone and turns back towards the road. “Yes and yes.”

“Grab his number for me, will you?” Remus asks.

“No, i’m not going to get his number for you.” Lyall says.

“829-728-9-“

“Hand over the phone!” Remus yells into the phone. Lyall debates it for a moment before handing the phone off to Sirius.

“Hello?” Sirius asks into the phone.

“What’s your number?” Remus asks.

“Hold on I don’t even know if you’re cute,” Sirius recollects.

There’s a silence on the phone for a second before a facetime call comes in. Sirius answers and it connects.

“Holy shit.” They both say.

“829-728-9-“ Sirius starts as Remus scrambles to plug it into his phone.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

“And they met in a cop car!” James finishes as he wipes his teary eyes.

There’s an outrage from both Sirius and Remus, sitting at the Just Married table. “That is not true!” Remus exclaims.

James gives him a weary look. “Fine. They got each others number whilst Sirius was in a cop car. They met at a coffee shop or whatever. Better?”

“Yes!” Sirius says.

meow

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Y'all, the world is sleeping on what NASA just pulled off with Voyager 1

The probe has been sending gibberish science data back to Earth, and scientists feared it was just the probe finally dying. You know, after working for 50 GODDAMN YEARS and LEAVING THE GODDAMN SOLAR SYSTEM and STILL CHURNING OUT GODDAMN DATA.

So they analyzed the gibberish and realized that in it was a total readout of EVERYTHING ON THE PROBE. Data, the programming, hardware specs and status, everything. They realized that one of the chips was malfunctioning.

So what do you do when your probe is 22 Billion km away and needs a fix? Why, you just REPROGRAM THAT ENTIRE GODDAMN THING. Told it to avoid the bad chip, store the data elsewhere.

Sent the new code on April 18th. Got a response on April 20th - yeah, it's so far away that it took that long just to transmit.

And the probe is working again.

From a programmer's perspective, that may be the most fucking impressive thing I have ever heard.

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Barty is 100% a monster energy drinker and Evan is whole heartedly team red bull like Barty has a monster tab on a necklace and Ev keeps a jar of his red bull tabs

This is a constant source of bickering between the two boys, but whenever one of them goes to a muggle gas station or drug store, they buy one of each (or steal in Bartys case)

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Really tall Sirius with a resting bitch face, my beloved. Long hair, sharp eyeliner, piercing eyes. Intimidating, but also so charming, with a smile that can light up a room.

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This video made me cry so I wanted to put it here

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James didn't know he had ADHD, because it was the 70s. He did know that he was different, though. He knew since his first year at Hogwarts, where he was surrounded by his peers, who just didn't seem to struggle with the same stuff he did.

He was worried he would be too weird for anyone to actually be friends with him.

And he was a lot for a lot of people, but not for his friends. His friends, who noticed his struggles and adapted without blinking an eye. His friends who found ways to help him without ever mentioning it.

Remus kept a hair tie around his wrist to lent James when he needed to fidget.

Peter always carried several extra quills in his bag to give James when he forgot his or broke it when he was moving around a lot.

Sirius dragged him out of the castle for a run whenever James got bouncy.

They all reminded him the deadlines of their assignments and the books he left somewhere.

They physically shielded him when other students were giving him dirty looks for not being still in the library or the classrooms.

And nobody ever understood why all of these little things meant so much to James.

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my best friend whos not on tumblr is watching harry potter finally after i asked her ages ago (since like 2019) and these were her reactions so far also she knows majorly abt marauders and nothing else cause of ✨me✨ so she knows abt wolfstar and jegulus and dorlene and all of that

so now these were her reactions so far:

sirius dies????? fucker

remus has a wife??

snape is absolute shit

so is malfoy

#if i get more i shall edit and add #marauders

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Y’all don’t get it Remus would fight tooth and nail for Sirius, but Sirius would kill for Remus. Kill.

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Remus and Sirius being stopped by those tiktokers doing the "sorry, are you two a couple?" trend.

if they're strangers they immediately start flirting with eachother.

if they're best friends they just panick and stutter. While walking away sirius mouths not yet and winks at the camera.

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James: Bonjour, Regulus. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

Regulus: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

James: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

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Barty: what in the fucknuckles is this?

Regulus: (holding hands with James) he's my boyfriend, you intolerant shit.

Barty: (staring at James) whoa, pump the hate brakes fox and friends! i'm just surprised anyone would date you, especially pinkie pie from my little pony…