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lttlgreg-blog · 7 years

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“Setting Things Straight”

By Greg A. Oosterhouse 7-9-2017

It was a gorgeous evening in Royal Woods, Michigan, at least what one home preacher born and raised in Michigan would call gorgeous. The snow was falling, the wind was blowing, and the temperature was a lovely twelve degrees Fahrenheit. Indeed, ideal conditions for any fan of winter such as Greg Ostrander. Greg was relaxing in his recliner reading fan fictions based on his favorite cartoon. “I can’t believe all of these different varieties of stories based on a children’s cartoon!” The forty-one year old observed. “Dark, depressing, incestuous, heartwarming, the whole shebang to choose from.” Greg was enjoying a story about the main character having been diagnosed with a terminal disease, and his family’s reaction to the news. He never felt such emotion, especially from just reading a story. “It’s as if my emotions took a walk down a dark alley and got lynched by a vicious mob.” Near tears, he was startled by the sudden noise of the doorbell. “Now who would that be braving this bracing cold?” he thought to himself as he placed his ipad on the end table and got out of his chair. After putting on his shirt, he went to the door. He opened it to a very pleasant surprise. “Oh, hi Luna!” said Greg with a smile. To what do you owe the pleasure of coming by to see me on this lovely night?” he quipped, purposefully reversing the common greeting. “Hi dude!” There is something I would like to talk to you about, get your opinion on. Are you available to talk for a while?” Luna said while brushing the snow off of her coat. “Yup! You can enter only after paying the admission fee!” answered Greg with a smirk. “What’s that?” asked Luna wondering what Greg was getting at. The man simply opened his arms with a twinkle in his eye. Luna then opened her arms and took a step towards him and they shared a nice, friendly hug. Greg and the Loud family, especially Luna, have been friends since he counseled a close friend of hers after a suicide attempt. He gave her a guilt trip as an unconventional means to convince her that life was worth living. Months after, she was a changed person, even attending services at Greg’s home church. Luna was so grateful, she and the family had him over for dinner. They all became fast friends. Being that Greg was around her parents’ age, Luna thought him more of an uncle figure than a friend. Which is why she felt comfortable enough to tell him what was on her mind. “Brrrr!” shivered Luna as she took off her coat, Greg taking it. “I can’t stand this winter weather!” she complained as she took off her boots as Greg directed her to have a seat. One thing Greg hated was to hear people complain about the winter weather, especially his fellow Michiganders. “Well, I happen to love it! That polar vortex we had a few years ago, I thought that was the best winter we’ve had in a long time! He said with a scoff at Luna’s ‘brazenness’. “To each his own, I guess.” said Luna taking a seat on the couch while Greg returned to his recliner. “So what’s on your mind?” He asked as he flung his pen in the air and catching it between his index and middle fingers without looking. “Well, it’s something serious. I have been thinking about it for a while now.” said Luna with a look of trepidation. “Oh.” responded Greg. The autistic man avoided serious issues like he avoided eye contact. As a preacher however, he was confronted with people’s problems on an occasional basis. That time counseling Luna’s friend was nerve-wracking for him to say the least. Luna continued “Yes. Now I come to you knowing that you will not offer your affirmation. But I have seen in you the type of person that is caring. What I have to say is something that goes against your beliefs; the Bible.” Greg perked up with interest at Luna’s words. “You see, I have feelings, romantic feelings for another girl. She’s a rocker like I am. We have been friends for a good while now. I always get good vibes whenever we’re together. For the last few weeks I realised that I feel more than just friendship towards her.” Greg was taking it all in with a little surprise. Not that he ever really thought of it, but if he were, he would imagine Luna having at least one boy interested in her. Not only was she pretty, she was a very talented musician, and passionate about the things she loved. Most of all, he saw her as a great daughter and sister to her family, and almost as nice and sweet as her immediate older sister Leni. If he were twenty-five years younger, even he may have been captivated by her! Though rock was not his favorite type of music, that was classical and opera, he did love himself some Bob Dylan, Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd among others. “Just last week I dropped a note in her locker expressing my feelings. She had a smile when she read it, but I have yet to hear from her other than that.” “Well, you’re right that it goes against what I stand for, as God made us all male and female, one for the other. In a way you are wrong about my affirmation. In no way will I ever affirm same sex relationships, in the way that you feel about your friend, that is. However, I do affirm you! I love you Luna. You are a very nice young lady. Anyway, just because you are into another girl does not give me the right to condemn you, for now is not the time for condemnation.” “You came to me with this because you knew that I would not go all Westboro Baptist on you, right?” He asked, interrupting himself. Luna chuckled, “Yes, I came to you because I see you as the caring type. I was sure you were not going to damn me to hell like other Christians I have seen on gay pride parade videos.” Luna said, using air quotes with the word Christians. “Well, I find you to be justified using those air quotes. I also thank you for allowing me to present my opinion on the matter. I knew you were a nice young lady!” He said with a smile. “You know, we can’t really fault all of those who speak on the matter whilst using condemning language, we are to warn others of eminent danger, after all. They do have good intentions, I’m sure. I do agree with most of what they say, I just do not agree with their delivery. I truly believe that Jesus is being sorely misrepresented by most of His followers. Indeed, same sex intimate relations are condemned in the Bible, but so is adultery. An adulteress was caught in the act, and brought to Jesus. The religious leaders wanted to test Him to see if they could find fault in Him. It was the law then that those found in adultery should be stoned. Jesus however said to them “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” Eventually one by one the crowd went away, each dropping their stones. Then Jesus said to the woman that like the others, neither does He condemn her. He told her to go and sin no more. Sounds like love more than the condemning language used by the people you refer to, doesn’t it?” Luna nodded as Greg continued. “You have heard about John chapter 3 verse 16? Well, if you ask me, a lot of Christians seem to neglect the very next verse.” Greg got up to get his Bible and reading glasses then sat down next to Luna. “I’ll start from verse 16.” “16 ‘For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved.’” “That is where I get the idea that now is not the time for condemnation. Yes, same sex relations are called abominable, yes, murder is frowned upon, lying, stealing, drunkenness, what have you. All of these and more go against God’s plan for us. Each of those can lead to eternal damnation. But there is another piece of Scripture that mentions sin and where it leads, then tells of the remedy. I Corinthians chapter 6. I’ll turn there now to read that.” “9 ‘Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, effeminate, abusers of themselves with mankind, 10 theives, covetous, drunkards, revilers, nor extortioners shall inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. 12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. 13 Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.’” “Listening to a lot of those street preachers and such one would think that the practitioners of those sins, especially same sex are on their way to hell no question. I applaud their motives, but like I said, it’s the delivery, and lack of John 3 vs. 17 and Jesus dealing with the adulteress and such. You are only going to drive people away like that if you ask me. For example, if you came to me tonight just to talk about whatever, to have some nice friends time, and you told me about your love of rock, how you love to listen to and play it, then I come back with scathing remarks about it, and dared even curse the name of Mick Swagger, I doubt that you would see my point to listen to opera instead as valid, would you? You would either storm out of here, or give me a good thrashing, despite me weighing over two hundred pounds!” “I’d beat you within an inch of your life!” Luna said as she grabbed Greg by his shirt collar and got in his face. Straightening his shirt and sharing a little laugh with her, Greg continued. “But I do like rock, and I like Swagger just fine. I also love to “Rock and Roll’ on the way to the ‘Stairway to Heaven’, where you pay ‘No Quarter’ to visit ‘The Houses of the Holy’. ‘I Want You’ to know that no ‘Idiot Wind’ will make me ‘Run like Hell’ into ‘The Wall.’ Okay, I’ll stop now!” said Greg as he realised that Luna is the only one between them who can quote song titles so expertly. “Good idea!” Luna agreed with an eye roll. “’Hey You’! Ha ha! Just kidding! I realise that I never offered you a drink earlier. Would you like something? Maybe something to eat as well?” “Sure, whatchya got?” After showing Luna his itunes play list, Greg was preparing the snacks. Luna selected ‘Tom Sawyer’ by Rush. “You sure do have an eclectic taste in music. It’s no wonder why you and I are such great friends!” Luna said as she further scanned the list of music on Greg’s ipad. “’Zorba’s Dance’, Luna observed as she clicked on it. When the music started, Greg came in, strutting along with it. Luna laughed as she got up to join him. The two were having fun dancing as the music got faster and faster. When the song ended, Luna resumed her seat. “You wouldn’t know I have heel spurs in both feet and tendonitis in my right ankle, would you!?” Said Greg as he strutted back to the kitchen. “Really? Ouch! That sounds painful. You sure hide it well.” “Yup. I am mostly used to it by now.” “Cool, you even have some jazz as well!” Said Luna as she resumed looking at the play list. “Yup, I love jazz. Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Louis Armstrong among others. Speaking of jazz, here’s something Luan would appreciate: What do you call a resident of a monastery who commits crimes?” Luna looked befuddled and shrugged her shoulders. “A felonious monk! Ha ha ha! Get it?” Greg quipped, imitating Luna’s comedic sister. “That was actually pretty good. Corny, but good. If I wasn’t sure that Luan has no idea who Thelonious Monk was, I’d swear you got that from her.” Luna said as Greg returned with the snacks. “Well I used to call myself the Duke of Cornball!” Greg mused as he took his place next to Luna. “Okay, we have my ipad here, you know I have to show you some pictures now!” He said as he selected the photo albums icon. “Ah, yes, proud uncle Greg and his adorable nieces! They are so cute!” Luna swooned as she looked on. “How old are they again?” “The older one is four years and seven months, the other just turned one year last month.” Greg answered with a look of immense pride. “They are my little honey’s.” Watching Greg’s expression, Luna responded “Awww, you’re a cutie too!” she said as she put her arm around Greg and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Ooh! That tickles!“ Luna giggled as she rubbed her lips. “You’re the first man with a beard I have ever kissed!” “And you’re the first pretty girl to kiss me in a long time!” Greg said with a flattered smile. After about a minute of silence, enjoying their snacks, Greg decided it was time to return to the subject they were there to discuss. Putting his ipad aside, he grabbed Luna’s hand with both of his, and looked in the general direction of her eyes. “Earlier, if you’ll recall, during my initial response to your confession, I said that I love you.” “Yes, I remember that.” Luna sais anticipating what Greg was leading to. “Well, I meant it. I love you very much. I don’t tell people that if I don’t mean it. When I say’I love you’, I am saying that I care for you. I want you to be safe, happy and healthy. I want only the best for you. You and your family have been a great blessing to me. I am proud to call you my friends.” Greg ended with a smile and a glistening eye. Luna placed her free hand on top of Greg’s. “Well, Greg, we all appreciate your friendship as well. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your part in turning Kathy’s life around. I know that I have said that a lot. She is a treasured friend of mine. I don’t know what I would have done if she had succeeded in killing herself.” Luna finished with tears in her eyes as she wrapped Greg in a tight hug. “I love you, too, uncle Greg!” “That’s my niece!” he said as he returned the hug with the same gusto he felt from her. “What I was getting at is I would not be telling you what I have said before, about same sex relations being sinful. If you love someone, you tell them the truth, no matter how much it may hurt. ‘Better to hurt with the truth than to comfort with a lie’, a famous saying goes.” “Yes, I understand“. Luna said as the two released their embrace. “I may not like everything you have said, but I do appreciate the love that you said it all with.” “I wasn’t expecting anything else from you. Back to the condemnation issue. Do you want to know what really grinded Jesus’ gears? What put the feedback in his sound system? “What?” asked Luna with her interest piqued anew. “Not the sinners or unbelievers, nope. It was the religious folks, acting all holier than thou. Jesus called them vipers and all the insults of the day. Luan is the one that washes the dishes, right?” Luna affirmed with a nod. “Well, let’s say that she decided that after cleaning the outside of a glass, she decided that it was good enough, and put it in the cupboard, surpassing Lucy’s and Lynn’s part of the chore as well. When you come along afterward, and grab that same glass to get a drink. You observe the good job that Luan did with the outside of the glass, but then you see the inside. You are disgusted at the gunk inside. That is the way Jesus saw the actions of the religious people. They were clean on the outside, but stinking, rotting graves on the inside. Also, He went ballistic in a certain type of building. Not a place where adulterers, drunkards, or fornicators gathered, but the temple! Where God is to be worshipped. He was so angry with the misuse of the place. He overturned tables, and even used whips on the people to drive them out. Another instance, Jesus told of two men who were praying. The religious man said something along the lines of ‘Lord, I thank Thee that I am not like other men like this sinner here…’ The other man prayed ‘ Oh, Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ I am sure you can guess which one Jesus looked on with favor.” “The one who said he was a sinner.” Luna responded. “Yup! Jesus brings low the proud, and exalts the humble. I tell you what, I have every reason to be grateful for the grace and mercy that Jesus offers, for I sure have not been perfect in this life. Many is the time that I have been so disgusted with myself.” Inspired by that statement, he turned in his Bible to Romans chapter 7, and read the whole chapter. “Just like Paul wrote, I myself long to do what is right, but yet many has been the time I have done the opposite. Just one example of us human beings’ shortcomings, unable to save ourselves. As it says elsewhere …” Greg pauses to look up the phrase he had in mind on his ipad. “There it is.” Turning to Isaiah chapter 64 and read the whole chapter, where it says in verse six that our righteousness is as filthy rags. “We all fall short when it comes to pleasing God. Which is why Jesus came as a perfect substitute. He fulfilled all of the law. So when we put our trust in Him and Him alone, it is like we have fulfilled all of the requirements ourselves. So rich is He in grace and mercy! Considering my faults, I am so grateful that Jesus took my punishment on the cross, punching my ticket to eternal bliss in Heaven. What He did was for all people. He is the only ‘stairway to Heaven’ if you will! As it says in John 14 vs. 6: ‘Jesus said I am the way, the truth and the life, no man comes to the Father but by me.’ As exclusive as the idea is, it is also inclusive at the same time. Simply putting your faith and trust in His saving work on the cross, that is all it takes. Those who say you need to do this and that and to not do that and this, are placing their hope in their own righteousness, and that won’t cut it. As I said, it is what Jesus did and that alone that saves us. We can go on living in sin if we want, but if we really love Jesus, we would want to show it by doing good works. We do not do good works to get saved, we do good works because we are saved. ’Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.’” “Wow! You have given me a lot to think about there.” Luna said as she stretched. “Well, you asked me for my input on your relationship with your friend, so I gave it! Notice I did not quote Scripture where it says same sex relations are sinful, only one or two instances. I could have beat you over the head with them! But I chose to use gentle love towards you. The harder stuff is for those who should know better. As it says in I Corinthians chapter 13...” Greg pauses to turn to the text. “Okay, verse one, ’Though I may speak with the tongues of men and angels, and have not charity, love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.’ Yup, I can tell you what I have said before, but if I did not put love in with it, it is just a bunch of noise. This is my motivation to use love in telling you what the Word of God says.” Said Greg with a hand on Luna’s shoulder. “There is nothing wrong with you loving your friend. Friends should love each other. When we get to what you told me, though, well that’s different. That is what God says, and I go with that.” Greg said as he got up. “Here, may I give you this?” Asked Greg as he held out a Bible to Luna. “So you can see and know for yourself what God’s will is for your life.” Luna took it. “I’ll take it, but don’t expect me to be a scholar anytime soon!” “I don’t expect you to be. I’m not one myself. I still discover new things every now and then reading it. That’s what the Bible does, If you let it, it will speak to you.” “I also suggest some teachers and preachers to listen to on video.” he said as he grabbed a note pad and wrote on it. “These are pretty good teachers of the Word in my opinion. Jacob Prasch, he knows Greek and Hebrew very well, and uses them to make the Bible clear to his listeners. Robert Rubino from Brooklyn. It is from him that I learned that it is the fault of the church for the world being in the mess that it is in. He is very passionate, I love his style. Zac Poonen, is just as passionate, but much more soft spoken like I am.” “I truly hope that you take what I told you to heart. Also that you will read the Bible and really consider what it says. The first four books of the New Testament are about Jesus’ life and His teachings. Any questions you may have, I’ll be ready to answer, or help you find an answer. My door is always open to you and your family. Any time you or they want to talk, please feel free to come to my door, or to invite me over. Is there anything else you would like to talk about or ask me?” “I’m sure there would be, but it is getting late. Wow, almost ten o’clock! We’ve been talking for three hours! I thought we would be talking for one maybe two hours, but three! I think I better get going.” Luna said getting up. “Before you go, may I pray for you?” Asked Greg also getting up. “Sure.” said Luna. Greg stretched his hands out to Luna, who then took his. “Lord Jesus, thank You for sending Luna to me tonight. May the words I spoke to her be pleasing to You, and penetrate her heart. She is such a precious friend to me, I want only the best for her, and that is You, Lord. Move in her Lord, open her eyes to Your truth. Thank You Lord. Amen and amen.” Greg then wrapped Luna in another tight hug, when her phone rang. “Hi mom. Yes, we just finished talking. I am about to head back home. Greg welcomed me warmly. We had a nice time, he truly is a sweet guy. I will tell you what we said when I get home. Okay, bye mom.” “Well, I better get going. Thank you, Greg. Like I said, I may not like everything you had to say, but you said it with love. For that I thank you.” Luna said with a hand on Greg’s shoulder. “You said I’m sweet!” Greg said with an awe shucks expression. “Well, you are!” Luna replied pinching Greg’s cheek. “You are not walking home, I will drive you. I know it’s only four houses away, but still at this time of night, it is much safer.” Greg said as he put on his shoes and got his and Luna’s coats. “That’s fine with me.” Luna said as she finished putting her boots on, then grabbed her coat. “One more thing, I invite you and the family to services here. Sometimes I play videos of those preachers I mentioned, and others, other times I preach a sermon. I hope if you do ever attend, you would be edified by what you hear.” “That is something to consider. I am open to the idea. I’ll have to see how the others feel about it.” said Luna as the two walked out the door. “Well, here we are.” Greg said as he pulled in the driveway and shut his car off. “I’ll walk you to the door.” As they got to the door, Greg turned to Luna. “Once again, thank you for giving me the opportunity to present the Christian side to the issue. It shows me that you are still thinking about what you should do in pursuing any further relationship with your friend.” “Her name is Sam, by the way. Yes, especially after talking to you, I have lots of thinking to do.” Luna said while watching the snow fall. “Please do not hesitate about coming to see me again. I enjoyed our time tonight. It was a great pleasure to talk with you.” Greg said as he breathed in the fresh, frigid air. Luna just smiled and embraced him one more time. “Thank you, uncle Greg. Thank you for everything.” She said releasing the hug. “Yup!” he said with his Oliver Hardy wave and headed back to his car. Luna watched and waved as Greg drove away. Cradling her Bible, she entered the house, greeted by her parents and her fellow teenaged sisters.

The End

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memoriesofprojectkids-blog · 6 years

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What’s Beef? Why did we hate 13th Street?

Memories of a Project Kid What's Beef? Why did we grow up hating 13th Street?/Neighborhood Rivalries Rivalries, neighborhood beefs, arch enemies. When you think of rivalries, most will mention the Hatfield vs the McCoys, Auburn vs Alabama, North Korea vs South Korea. For us, growing up in 5th Street Projects, our biggest rivalry was 13th Street Projects. Growing up, I hated 13th Street. It was natural. I was from 5th Street and I was supposed to hate everyone from 13th Street. Supposed to…… You see, I was from 5th Street Projects, technically known as Southwark Housing Plaza, and our natural born enemy was 13th Street Projects, officially known as the Martin Luther King Housing Development. I don’t recall the history behind it, but this was how things were. 13th Street was the next closest housing project to my neighborhood. To put things into perspective, in our section of South Philly it was rather ethnically diverse with a healthy mix of Blacks, Italians, Jewish, Irish, Vietnamese and Cambodians, all living within the same areas. But in true Willie Lynch fashion 5th Street Projects had developed an intense dislike for 13th Street Projects and vice versa. Forget the fact most kids hadn’t met anyone from 13st Street ever in their life but if we had “we’d definitely beat them up.” You see, by the time I was about 9 years old, 13th Street had taken on almost mythical proportions. It was well known that if you went up there alone, they would kidnap you and your family would never see you again. “Everyone” said the kids up there walked around with uzis out in the open and if they thought you were from 5th Street, they would shoot you. Or if you were down South Street by yourself and they knew you were from 5th Street, they would jump you and beat you up (which was actually kind of true). Growing up, there was an intense hatred for a neighborhood which I’d never been to, never met anyone, nor did I know anything about other than rumors. Until a short trip with my Aunt Doris. It was right before Easter and I had to take back a shirt my mother had bought me from City Blue in Center City. My Aunt Doris had offered me a ride, which I happily accepted. As I waited for my aunt to get in the car, I decided to turn on the car radio “Express ya self, doing good….I’m expressing with my full capability, now I’m living in correctional facility, but some don’t agree with how I do this, I get straight meditate like I’m Brutus…..” My Aunt Doris got in the car and looked at me with the look an Aunt gives to her nephew when he changed her radio station. “Who told you to turn my station? Take that mess off!” As she backed up and pulled out of the parking lot, she fumbled thru the dial and found what she was looking for “Bad boy singing……Ooooh yeah! Shubby doo wip da wee wee wee, its all right. Yeah, Bad Boy singing” “That’s my jam Mal!”, my aunt said as she turned it up and began to groove to Luther (the skinny Luther) while driving. As we drove down Christian Street and stopped at the traffic light, my aunt thought for a second and then said. “You know what Mal, I gotta stop by Val’s house to pick up something.” Val was the mother of one of my cousins and would sometimes visit our house. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but as we kept going straight down Christian Street, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th…., I asked “Aunt Doris, where Val live?” I asked. “13th Street” my aunt said, not thinking twice about it. As we pulled up to the housing complex, I leaned back into the car seat as my aunt got out of the car. “Let’s go.” She said looking at me. Now here I am, in enemy territory and she’s asking me to get out of the car. “I can’t get out around here!” I said, fearing some unknown assailant. “Boy what you talking? You ain’t gone sit in the car, let’s go” As I slowly exited the car, I glanced around. Keep in mind I wasn’t involved in any gangs, a life of crime or really, anything negative. There was no tangible logic to be afraid but for some reason, I had this idea someone from 13th Street was out to get me. We walked into one of the towers unnoticed by the dozens of people standing around outside. The lobby was dimly lit and there were a few shady characters standing around. My aunt pushed the button while, I watched the front door to make sure no one would sneak up on us. There was a boy about my age, also waiting for the elevator and as the doors opened, he took his side of the elevator and I took mine. My aunt pressed for the 9th floor and for a second, I thought I saw the kid going for something, but he was only unbuttoning his jacket. The elevator went up and after a minute came to an abrupt halt. Suddenly the doors opened and we noticed that the elevator had stopped a few feet from the 9th floor. My aunt and I didn’t know what to do, so I decided to just try and climb up and get off but the kid on the elevator quickly grabbed my arm. “Don’t do that, the doors might close on you. Sometimes if you wait a few minutes it will go up to the floor. Just push another button.” 3 seconds later, the doors slammed shut and the elevator went back down to the 8th floor. This time the doors opened all the way on the floor. My aunt pressed the button for the 9th floor again but the elevator made no movement and remained motionless. “It’s better if y’all walk, sometimes it’ll be stuck for hours.” the kid said to us. We heeded his advice and took the steps to the 9th floor with the same boy walking behind us. As we reached Ms. Val’s house, we noticed he lived two doors down. “Thank you for your help. We’d probably be still be in there.” my aunt said to the boy as he was opening his door. “It’s cool.” he replied. “Jamal, you not gone say nothing?” my aunt said. “Oh yeah, thanks.” I blurted out, a bit late as the boy had already closed the door. We went to my cousin’s mother apartment, sat and talked for a few minutes. On our way back down, we decided to take the other elevator…which worked just fine. As we exited there was a group of guys hanging out in front of the building. “Hey what’s going on Doris!” one of the men shouted. My aunt looked back, “hey what’s up Mike, what you doing out here?” My aunt shouted back. “Chilling. Is that your son?” he asked. “No, that’s Marilyn’s son, Jamal.” My aunt replied, bundling up her jacket as a strong wind passed. “Little Jamal, that’s Greg’s son! How you been young buck? I ain’t seen you since you was a baby. Ya pops still in the army right. Tell him I said what’s up.” The man said, as I nodded my head and we got into the car. As my aunt turned the ignition, WDAS blasted out “……Chaka, chaka, chaka Khan. Chaka Chaka Khan…..I feel for you, I think I love you!” “They jamming today” my Aunt said smiling as we drove off. Turning the corner, I was relieved to have escaped from 13th Street Projects. But in reality, did I really have anything to be afraid of, and more importantly, if I did, then why? Question What makes young black men, hate other young black men for no apparent reason at all? The deadly rivalry between 5th Street and 13th Street was not unique. It’s very common, not just in Philadelphia but all across the United States. Young black youth growing up with a blind hatred of other young black youth from different neighborhoods. In many instances, there will be a dislike for other neighborhoods as a youth and yet, they would often have had little to no interaction with others until they reach high school or are old enough to travel to other parts of the city on their own. By then, the hatred for these rival groups has become so real that one black youth will kill another from that neighborhood as a testament to how tough his neighborhood is. But is that really being tough? Killing another individual, from another neighborhood, simply because his family was also poor and had to live in the projects. It’s actually kind of insane. Poor people, seeking out other poor people to become enemies and to ultimately wipe each other out. Often times, we’ll skip over entire sections of the city to identify the other poor people to make them adversaries. In theory, some may suggest this is because ethnic groups generally interact with each other most, hence previous confrontations may have created rivalries. Additionally, the generational aspect would have an impact because if someone from another neighborhood attacked your father/uncle/cousin or whatever, these stories would have been passed down, etc, etc, etc. This may be true to a small extent but much of the hate and violence is completely random and totally unrelated to anything or anyone even remotely connected to previous generations. In my opinion, there seemed to be a level of self-hatred which manifests itself against other people from similar backgrounds. I’ll give an example. A few years after the above incident, my mother transferred me to another elementary school. I was a very good student academically with straight A’s and my new school, Meredith Elementary, was a diverse school with students from a variety of ethnic, social and cultural backgrounds. Although the school had a sizable number of black students, in the 7th grade, there were only two black males, myself and a guy named James Tyrone Lane (who would go on to be a world renowned dancer and has performed on Broadway, East End London and Italy). One day, our teacher, a really cool Italian guy named Mr. Spina took us on a class trip to the Liberty Bell which was only a few blocks away. After the class trip, the class went to the local Gallery Mall to get something to eat at the food court. On our way out of the mall, James and I were approached by two other young guys, just about the same age as us. One of the kids walks up to us and says “my homie want to fight you. And then me and you are gonna fight.” Now keep in mind, there was no previous confrontation, no history, it’s as if we had bumped into them inside the mall. Yet, these two young black men decided to single out me and my friend for a fight. I’m not suggesting that he should have started something with one of the Italian, Irish, Polish, Jewish or Asian kids but why did they pick us out? The kid repeats it “my friend wants a fair one” (i.e. a fight), so I look at James confused and he looks at me like “who the hell are these guys. One of the girls in our class saw the incident and shouted “Mr Spina, they’re going to fight.” Mr. Spina turned around completely baffled to see these two kids not in his class challenging us to a fight and presumably for no reason whatsoever. He gives them a look and then says “Get the hell out of here before I call the cops!” The kids looked at him, then looked at each other and then ran off in the opposite direction. Mr. Spina looks at me and says “what was that about?” My response was “I have no idea Mr. Spina, we don’t know those dudes”. And literally, I had no idea who they were, nor why they decided that out of all the people in life, they wanted to fight us. As I look back on that situation, a number of questions come to mind. Why did those kids really signal us out? What was going on in their minds? Why weren’t they in school? And one final question: Did they have a father in their lives? To those unfamiliar with the inner city dynamics, this may seem like an amazing and baffling story, but it is actually quite common. These kind of incidents happen every day, in every kind of situation amongst young black males. Nine times out of ten, the reasons behind the conflicts are either truly non-existent or simply stupidity (and to note, we would have trashed those dudes). Sadly, it’s the byproduct of self-hatred in which many people instead of having an affinity for their own, they instead have an intense, oftentimes, unexplainable hatred for their own people. This phenomena obviously didn’t just exist in Philadelphia and isn’t even limited to urban settings. My grandparents are originally from a small town called Elloree in South Carolina and we’d regularly go there for visits and family reunions. I was talking with my cousin Darnell and noted how relaxed it was there and the lack of gangs along with violence. He noted how on the surface, it looks okay but then explained how even though there were only a handful of black people in the entire county, they would regularly fight the other people from the next town over, causing numerous problems and incidents. To that extent, in my travels across Africa and the Middle East, you find the same dysfunction from distressed communities with the common theme of having an inexplicable dislike for another people in a nearby village or town. But……all is never lost. As a youth, one of the local community organizers, Doug Nesmith, would organize basketball tournaments and invite a few teams 13th Street, 7th Street (another local neighborhood which coincidentally, my father said was their biggest rivalry when he was growing up) and a few other teams from different parts of South Philly. As kids, we just saw this as a sporting event, but in a lot of ways it also humanized the people from those different neighborhoods. Their parents and friends also came out to support them in their games and were also supportive of our teams. Thus while it was only basketball, the positive interaction allowed us all to grow out of the enmity, which some people may have had. As I got older, I would actually meet numerous people from 13th Street, 7th Street and other neighborhoods from different walks of life while in college, professionally and in business. What I learned was the idea of young black men, hating other young black men for no apparent reason is a symptom of the larger social problems of the inner city and our people. People tend to take out their frustration and hatred on those similar to themselves. However, the flip side is people also tend to seek the assistance of individuals who have a similar upbringing. It’s led me to believe we need to identify these issues at a younger age and promote positive interaction before it’s overshadowed by negative sentiments. One thing is for sure, if you were to talk to the majority of adults from both neighborhoods, who’d witnessed the violence which took place, they will all agree it was over nonsense. No one ever looks back and is happy about that kind of stuff. Over time, even the hardest gangsters learn the difference between right and wrong. In the early 2000’s, both 5th Street and 13th Street projects would meet the same fate, the wrecking ball. Both housing projects would face massive redevelopment projects in which the majority of their inhabitants were not able to return. Today, 5th Street is formally known as Courtyard at the Riverview and 13th Street has the official name of Universal Court at MLK Plaza. Although some of the neighborhood youths try to hold onto some of the past “glory”, it’s definitely not the same, which is a good thing. One final factor is the notion of finding some form of identity or even strength in coming from such violent neighborhoods. As a youth growing up in our projects, we all thought we were the toughest people in the world. However, as we got a little bit older and started learning about 13th Street, 7th Street and South Philly as a whole, you started to believe our section of the city was the “toughest”. A bit more experience and traveling would allow you to see other parts of the city such as West Philly, North Philly, Germantown and Kensington, all of which had their fair share of violence and supposed toughness. And yet, when I got to college and started meeting people from Brooklyn, Detroit, Baltimore, Los Angeles and other places, you’d hear similar stories of gangs, street violence and other issues. I remember the first time hearing how dangerous Washington DC was and didn’t believe it because after all, it was the nation’s capital and they had the White House, Congress, along with all those monuments, so why would they be tripping? However, what became clear was how, while the violence took different forms, it all stemmed from the same systematic problems: broken homes, drugs, lack of opportunity and quite honestly, a lack of love for one another. Within this notion as I reflected on growing up with the idea of coming from a supposedly tough neighborhood because of the level of crime, I began to view my neighborhood from a more positive perspective of community and wanting to see change. There’s nothing wrong with loving one’s neighborhood, in fact, we should encourage it. However, we need to move away from the concept of affiliating our neighborhood with violence, and focus on hope and community. Hopefully this generation can move in a more positive direction and creative a better future. We can’t afford to lose another generation to a rivalries which were never really rivalries to begin with.

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