#thank u for asking i am fully capable of ranting about this again ten times harder i think im just gonna have to make a video essay atp

[gir-posting]

pls rant about tim burton, i gots to know

@y-lisse

(casually vibrates) my god what a rant you're gonna get

i was raised by two giant horror nerds so naturally i was pretty much raised on tim burton. so full disclosure this is coming from a place of disenchantment and sincere disappointment

i think the second i went to see ms peregrine's home for peculiar children is the exact second i got disenchanted with his stupid gimmick that hasn't worked for over 20 years now. because in the first five minutes they change exactly one word from the book that ruins the entire rest of the movie: very suspiciously they decided to make the protagonist polish instead of jewish! which is interesting! because ms. peregrine's is an entire story about the proliferation of antisemitism in the modern day which becomes completely pointless when you remove the jewish context from the story. and i know exactly why they did it too: they knew that they had to keep in something about world war 2, because IT IS A VERY BIG TOPIC IN THE STORY. but ohhhh nooo we can't make our protag a jew :( i know :) we'll make him polish instead the polish were oppressed by the nazis too :)) it immediately put a bad taste in my mouth and ive never been the fucking same with tim burton's bullshit since. (and that's not even getting into the fact that they made the only black character in the story one of the flesh eating monsters :/ which apparently aren't the nazis anymore because ohhh we can't discuss antisemitism actually sorry so where does that leave us. huh.)

speaking of antiblackness, did you know that in his willy wonka movie, he BROUGHT BACK the racist backstory for the oompa-loompas? the one that THEY FULLY CUT OUT in the 70s because of the civil rights movements going on? and all this combined with his comment that black people don't "fit his aesthetic" really just makes me want to bury him alive. lol!!

SPEAKING of his aesthetic: IT JUST FUCKING SUCKS. FOR TWENTY YEARS THIS "AESTHETIC" HES BEEN LEANING ON SO HARD HAS BEEN GARBAGE FROM A TOILET THAT'S ONLY EVER WORKED A SINGLE TIME. i hate the dim washed out gray tones with ~just a little pop of color~ because 9 times out of 10 he does NOTHING with it. it's just ugly! the only time i can genuinely think of where it was used in an actually interesting way was sleepy hollow cuz in that one apparently they made the fucked up blood in that tree bright orange to make it pop more. which is cool! IT HAS NEVER BEEN INTERESTING SINCE.

and the thing is i know he has the capability to make good interesting movies! unless beetlejuice was a fluke! which is a very likely chance! i can't understand how the man who made beetlejuice could possibly end up becoming the man who just KEEPS CHURNING OUT THE SAME SCHLOCK OVER AND OVER.

idk how to properly transition into this but i have to rant about this too: you know how people constantly have to correct others on who actually directed nightmare before christmas? how henry selick did literally all of the heavy lifting only for tim burton to slap his name on it and get all the credit, so that even today people still think it is Tim Burton's movie? well i watched a documentary on it (the movies that made us) and it actually gets so much worse than that! IT GETS WORSE!

not only did tim burton not actually direct the movie (complications with directing his batman movie which lead to him not Having Time for it i guess,) the only times he ever actually showed up for the production was to YELL AT PEOPLE. TO THROW AN ACTUAL FIT. during the documentary they went into how apparently a background artist showed up to give him some concept art and burton just...... threw all his work in the trash...... because the art wasn't as angular and colorless as he was imagining. IN THE TRASH.

the only other time he interacted with the crew was near the end of production where they showed him the ending they had worked on. in his stead the ending they wrote up was that the mad scientist was actually oogie boogie all along. is that kind of a weak ending? sure, i really don't like it myself, it doesn't make sense and kind of takes away from the other shit he does in the movie. do you know what i wouldn't do if i was presented with that kind of ending?

KICK

a FUCKING

HOLE

IN THE WALL

BECAUSE IT WASN'T EXACTLY WHAT I WAS PICTURING. do you know how this kind of direction could have been prevented? huh timmy? do you want my two cents? IF YOU HAD ACTUALLY HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIE TO BEGIN WITH, maybe this WOULDN'T BE HAPPENING. YOU CANNOT GET ANGRY AT PEOPLE FOR DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE WHEN YOU WERE NOT THERE TO GIVE THAT GUIDANCE THE ENTIRE REST OF THE TIME. ARE YOU INSANE?

and either way i still reaaaaally don't think what he came up with was all that great either!

like maybe this is just my opinion, but the tone in this clip isn't present in ANY OTHER part of the movie. oogie boogie dissolving into thousands of disgusting bugs feels completely detached from the silly kind of uncanny musical ft danny elfman as a sad skeleton man. it's almost like..... the person who wrote it...... wasn't actually involved in the entire rest of the movie................ :///

needless to say the news about him getting his stupid hands on the addams family devastated me and i will not be touching that shit with a 30 foot pole. cool gomez! i don't trust you to treat him properly given your stupid racist history!

tldr: not only is tim burton a racist antisemitic uncreative artist i think the fact that he is this much of a bitch to work with just really puts a cherry on top of the whole thing. my god what a shitshow.

#thank u for asking i am fully capable of ranting about this again ten times harder i think im just gonna have to make a video essay atp #i didn't even get into how much i hate corpse bride

[unsccnangcl]

TASK 001 : THE INTERROGATION

location: hemlock police station 

time: ten oh-four am, december sixteenth twenty-nineteen 

mentioned: @ofaurclia, @edcns, @heartofgolds, @ofreligion, @covingtonhqs

sometimes it annoyed ella, how obviously threadbare she looked. she knew she was a mess, willowy and pale, like a strong breeze could blow her over. when she was a little girl, all silent and trembling and wide grey eyes, people treated her like she might be sickly, asked her if she was cold or hungry or needed anything. she looked like someone you should take care of, even now. and it annoyed her, especially because she knew it wasn’t out of genuine care for her, but out of pity. 

somehow, though, she didn’t think detective watson pitied her, and when he offered her a blanket, ella took it without question, wrapping it around her shoulders, clutching her old, plastic crows water bottle she got during frosh week in her skeletal hands. besides, she kind of needed the comfort right now; ever since melanie- well, a pit had opened in her stomach that was impossible to fill. she’d thought being turned down made her feel e m p t y, but now… on the best of days, ella always felt in the back of her head, but now it was like she’d fully pulled away. she could barely feel the cold of her water bottle against the tips of her fingers. and when she returned into her body even slightly, everything hurt so thoroughly, in a way she couldn’t describe. 

she managed to shoot the nice old man a smile as he settled himself down, getting himself ready to ask her a few questions. the hemlock police chief stood stoically behind him, and ella tried to forget he was there. the detective twirled the pen in his fingers, and shot her a smile in turn. “let’s begin.” 

“ can you tell me, to the best of your memory, what happened on the night of december 13, 2019? ” 

ella swallowed, blinking down to her feet, before looking back up at the detective. “well, um… my, my roommate, rosemary. rosemary keegan, i mean. she, uh, she told me that the debate team was having a party that night and… and i don’t usually go to parties so i didn’t think anything of it. she was going, so i decided i was gonna read wuthering heights that night- i read it every christmas, it helps me get into the holiday spirit.” 

“but,” ella said with a sigh, “i’d barely gotten started before my friend eden, um, lennox-montgomery, texted me at about…” she bit her lip, “hold on, could i please check the timestamp on my phone?” she didn’t know why she felt the need to ask, but she did. this was a detective, after all. when detective watson gave her the go-ahead, ella said, “thank you,” and pulled her phone out of the purse at her feet, scrolling through the texts. “um, at six-seventeen pm. she texted me asking if i was going to the debate team party at the estate, and she…” ella trailed off, sliding her phone under her thigh, and one hand with it. “eden is my friend, and she wants me to, like… get out more.” she manages a weak smile. “she’s way cooler than me. anyways, she… she offered to do my makeup and stuff so i went to her place. we had dinner and… and went to the party together.” 

“i spent most of my time ghosting eden, and sat on the couch when she danced. i mean, she made me dance a couple times, but…” she trailed off, biting her lip. she could feel the hurt stabbing at her stomach, and it was stupid that this still hurt, even with melanie… being gone. “something, uh, something upset her after a little while, and we left the main area at like… ten thirty-ish? but, um…” she swallowed, looking away, remembering how eden had asked her to leave, the way her gut twisted, the hurt plain on her face, “she asked me to go, and i,” she laughed, “i went back to the party, trying not to cry, though i… i did, eventually. i cried in the bathroom for, like, forty-five minutes, and, um, one of melanie’s roommates gave me a handkerchief, it was really nice of her. uh, michal… something. her name’s michal.” 

she shrugged, “and by the time i left the bathroom… or, like, a few minutes later, apparently something was on fire, and everyone was leaving. i was back home by twelve-thirty.” in finishing, she nodded, watching detective watson make his notes with some nerves, sucking at her teeth. she’d sucked her thumb until she was four years old. 

“ did you see anything unusual that night? was anyone acting out of the ordinary? ”

“um.” it niggled at the back of her brain, what she’d left out, but she… she still didn’t have a good feeling about it. still… melanie was- gone. no, dead. melanie was dead, she might have been murdered, and… tears pooled in ella’s eyes, and she brought the heel of her hand up to wipe at them. “sorry, i… i did see something. when, when eden…” she took a deep breath, “when i followed eden out the house, um,” when her friend was ranting about melanie, melanie, melanie, “aurelia choi came out after her and… and eden asked me to leave, so i left.” ella shrugged, wiping at her eyes again, the color rising in her cheeks. “i didn’t know… why. i still don’t, but… yeah.” 

she looked down at her lap, and realized she’d been opening and closing the water bottle spout the entire time she’s been speaking. she shut it one final time, before sliding her other hand under her thigh, both of them pinned under her legs, ella curled in over herself. “i didn’t… i didn’t see eden for the rest of the night, but i saw aurelia again at… i don’t know, i went to the bathroom to cry right after i talked to her. it was less than an hour later, probably half an hour after i left eden. anyways, i- when i saw her, i had to ask where eden was, if she’d gone home or something but aurelia didn’t… didn’t answer me.” aurelia was an expert at brushing ella off. she paused for a moment, adding, “and then, of course, the fire happened, but. i didn’t really see it. everyone just ran out of the estate and i was trying not to get trampled, y’know?” 

ella reached for the tissues, patting under her eyes and wiping at her nose. melanie was dead, and she was too scared to ask eden about that night, and… and ella just felt useless, useless. what more could she do with for the detective? 

“ can you tell me more about your relationship with melanie? ”

she laughed wetly, “i… i think you know too much about my relationship with melanie, detective watson.” she blew her nose into the tissue, before primly folding it up, looking around the room for a moment before she stood up a little bit, just to reach the waste paper basket. 

“well, um… we took, uh, phil 101 together. and she sat next to me and… and asked me for notes and stuff.” looking back on it, it seemed silly, that ella would ever think that was flirting. but nobody talked to ella, especially not in first year. especially not bright, beautiful girls like melanie. 

“and i… i saw her more and more and i… i had, or, um,” she cleared her throat, face bright red at the confession but… well, the detective already knew, didn’t he? “still have a massive crush on her. i… i’m-,” obsessed with her, “i guess infatuated with her, is the best term.” ella didn’t even dare say l o v e, because then that… felt too much. she couldn’t call something so silly, so pointless, so greedy love. “even today, i...” her voice shook, her throat tightening, “i still have those feelings for her.” 

she grabbed at her water bottle, snapping it open and taking a few long sips, just to calm herself. just to have a point of focus so she didn’t feel like she was spiraling out of control like an unspooling sweater. “i’m sorry, i’m fine, i just…” the look in detectie watson’s eyes killed her, and finally, a sob burst out. “it’s just… she’s gone, and she…” she shook her head, burying her face in her hands. her water bottle fell to the floor, and she scrambled for it with trembling hands as it spilled upon the ground. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m-.” she snapped it shut, putting it back on the table between them. “i’m just… i don’t know what to do. i feel so empty and like…” 

ella took a gasping breath. “she had… she had so much- she was gonna do so much.” melanie was going to save the world, ella had been sure of it. “she was so much, everyone- everyone loved her and i…” she gasped and whimpered, and she realized how close she was to hyperventilating. what use could she possibly be? “i just want to help, but i don’t know how, but i… whoever did this, if someone did this,” because it didn’t make sense to her, melanie being murdered. “i just… i want to know why. if there is a why.” 

for a long while, the room was just filled with the sound of ella’s sobs. 

“ do you have any reason to believe that someone would want to hurt melanie? ”

ella shook her head, feeling worn out, rung out, an old dish towel where her brain should be. “i… i don’t think so.” even eden wouldn’t have it in her, ella thought. she didn’t think she knew anyone capable of murder. “everyone loves her, she’s…” the sun of the solar system, the light at the end of the tunnel, brilliant and beautiful and unreachable and life-giving and every pretty metaphor you could ever imagine. almost calmly, so quiet, ella admitted with eyes faraway, “she’s everything.” 

“ do you have any questions about how the case will proceed? ”

ella’s gaze flickered back to the detective. she had questions, so many questions, but… but they crumbled like ashes in her mouth, like they always did. useless, she was u s e l e s s. “my… my mom wants to know why we have to stay, but…” ella shrugs, going shy. “i don’t know, could you please call her or something? because she doesn’t believe me.” she’d texted her mom she wouldn’t be coming home for christmas the night before, and her mother called, chewing her out for nearly two hours. she had thought to beg the detective if she could leave, but… she had a duty here. as a citizen, as someone who loved melanie. she had to do all she could to solve this mystery. 

#covtask #tasks; eloise #self para; eloise #lISATEN this edit is bad let me live #stella stick to one tense challenge #also yes i'm early i hAD NOTHING TO DO TODAY