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joyful-soul-collector · 2 years

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I wonder if, upon learning that Marc was the Host, "the original" in Steven's words, if Steven ever worried afterwards that he was being invasive.

All those things Konshu called him. Worm, parasite, idiot--were they all true now? Was he truly a parasite? A demon of some sort, occasionally possessing a victim of abuse? Leeching off of someone else's life?

Maybe for a while he stopped fronting. He'd stolen so much of Marc's life already, the least he could do was let Marc make it up as best he could. When he was in their inner world he would stay within his own area, never venturing out for fear of disturbing the place Marc's mind had made for him to feel safe.

And even after doing more research on DID and learning that he wasn't a demon, that he as an alter was just as valid a person as the host was, part of him just couldn't shake the feeling that he was a nuisance. A pest. An invasive species in the habitat that was Marc's mind and body.

It probably took a while for Marc to pick up on. Maybe even months. He can normally read people's emotions well, that's what happens when you're raised in an abusive home after all, but that’s all based on body language and expression, which is a bit harder to read when it's someone in your own body. But eventually he does sense it, he can feel the anxiety Steven feels when he needs to front, feels the relief when Marc comes back. And then he sees Steven out and about in their inner world and suddenly realizes he hasn't seen Steven outside his specific space in a long time. Not to mention the apologetic look he had on his face when Marc saw him, as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have.

The final straw was when Steven ended up fronting for three days straight, and when Marc came back, the flat looked completely different than he left it. All Steven's books had been put away, tucked into shelves or stacked under the bed. Steven's clothes had been taken out of the closet and dresser as well, replaced by cardboard boxes at the top of the closet labeled with Steven's messy scrawl. His pyramid paperweight, the postcards from Gus's tank, and his rubiks cube were tossed haphazardly in to a wire wastebasket, right next to their unusually clean desk. All of Steven's favorite snacks had been cleared out of the fridge and cupboards, and Marc wondered if he'd eaten them or if he felt too guilty to allow himself even that.

The only trace of Steven left in the flat was the pair of fish in the now postcard-less fishtank. He wondered if Steven was worried he'd let them die, seeing as how they were just another reminder of his presence.

And that's when Marc knew exactly what was going on. After all, it hadn't been too long since he was the one hiding his possessions around the flat, trying to make his presence as invisible as possible.

He took Steven's things out of the trash. He unpacked Steven's clothes and carefully put them back where they belonged. He took Steven's books out from under the bed and stacked his favorites on the nightstand for him to read. And Marc went out and bought all of Steven's favorite snacks again, even the ones he hated himself. He put on the soft pajamas Steven always liked to wear, even though they made him feel too hot.

There was a rather emotional talk that night.

It probably took a while for Steven to feel comfortable in his own body again. To stop feeling like he was taking up someone else's life, to feel like he was just as much of a person as Marc was. Sometimes he still felt so guilty that he would hide his possessions again, or he'd write notes to Marc saying that it was okay if he never wanted to let Steven front again, and that Steven wouldn't bother him anymore and he could just disappear.

But eventually with time, and therapy, Steven realized that he wasn't taking up Marc's life, not any more than Marc took up Steven's. They were living life together, and that was wonderful. And when Marc returned after letting Steven front for a week to find that he'd bought five more books and was eating the wasabi nuts Marc hated so much, he knew Steven would be alright.

#moon knight #moon knight meta #steven grant #marc spector #mk system #marvel #mcu #mr. knight #if Jake saw all this go down I think he'd feel comfortable enough to make himself known too #he'd want to be part of the little family they're making (even if at times he doesn't feel like he deserves to)#anyways hope you enjoyed my ted talk lol #if anyone wants to message and ramble about MK shit I'd love to #if I don't answer right away I'm probably just busy or sleeping so don't worry about that but yeah haha #moon knight fanfic #tbh I'm not sure if this is meta or fanfic or if it's possible for it to be both?#I tagged it as meta originally but then in reblogs other people have tagged it as fanfic so #either way it's me rambling about MK for a long time lol'

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yujeong · 9 months

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So I've been talking to a fellow Greek KP fan for some time now - thank God I even found one since Thai BL isn't known here - and even though she is a KP/Kinn/Mile fan, she can appreciate all the couples in canon and fanfic form.

(She also doesn't hate Build or BOC, she's amazing, I love her)

So, one day she said this: "I don't understand why Pete wanted Vegas" to which I replied "Because Vegas unlocked a part of him he didn't even know existed inside him. He made him feel like a person and not background decor in his own life"

I'm sure I didn't really explain it properly to her but this exchange reminded me of the thought that this is probably the main issue VP haters (or just not appreciators, let's not drag everyone for no reason) have with VP. They think Pete has no reason to love Vegas since throughout their storyline, it's Vegas who does horrible things to him and Pete seems like a victim to his abusive tendencies. Plus, they mostly saw how Vegas changed due to Pete's love but discard how Pete changed since the safehouse.

Tbh, this just shows to me how Pete's arc just passed through some people's heads. They didn't get it and even if they did, they think it wasn't shown well. And OH BOY do I have opinions about that.

Idk if you have to relate to Pete to understand him and his arc (something that happened to me for example) but I don't think so because I've talked to a lot of VP/Vegas fans who understand his character completely and it warms my heart every time.

All of this has made me realize how subtle yet obvious his character is. How the show treated his journey of, basically, self discovery and gaining agency as maturely and realistically as humanly possible. Pete never says those things out loud; he never says "I love you" to Vegas (which I've explained in another meta post of mine), he never tells him "I now know what it's like to feel like a person with desires and feelings and you're the reason for it", he never says ANYTHING up front and ooh God, is it delicious and incredible to witness.

Because he does say them differently and he does show them through his actions.

I had a lot of talks about the fact that Pete is a man of few words and many actions. I appreciate immensely how many, many VP scenes are with minimal dialogue (the hedgehog burial scene and the Hum Bar scene are great examples of this), while even those who do have more dialogue feel like they don’t? Or, more accurately, it feels like VP are talking past each other (Pete's breakdown being the BEST example of this, holy fuck this scene haunts my dreams). The main reason for that in my humble opinion is Pete and the way he communicates.

He returns when he sees Vegas crying, he kisses him, he punches him to leave after not being able to take it anymore, he shoots him in the shoulder to save him, he HUGS him from behind by the pool, like, that hug has rewired my brain and I need to write my meta post about Pete and being touched because I've been losing my mind for ages because of it. ANYWAY, my point is, Pete may not tell you how he feels but he sure as fuck will show you in one way or another.

Also, Pete is a man of few words but those words HIT you like a train every time. I seriously want to print every quote of his and put it on my wall, he's fascnating. This makes people who don't search beneath the surface of what is said and shown to lose a LOT of subtext about him.

All in all, there are many reasons why Pete would want Vegas and they're all beautiful. I love him with all my heart and every day I'm thankful I watched the show and his arc through VP ❤️

#It's been a while since I made a Pete meta post #Not my proudest work but I wanted to talk a little (a lot) about my son again #Hopefully someone more intelligent than me will grab the chance to explain what I tried to here better #kinnporche the series #pete phongsakorn saengtham #vegaspete

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diamondcitydarlin · 2 years

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do you think you'll watch any of Loki s2, write any meta about your thoughts?

I'd like to say probably not, but knowing me and my brain it's also possible I might despite my better judgement. The thing is -and it's 10 years too late- but I'm just getting kinda tired of writing and reading long, thoughtful essays on subject material the creators of which don't care even 1/4th about as much. Most of the education we've gotten in the US anyway in regards to critically evaluating art and media leans heavily towards this; we're taught to always assume every piece of art and media has a bottomless depth of insight bestowed upon it by the creator(s) that we must parse through to discover their genius treasures hidden cleverly within the text (ex. "the curtains are blue because the author wants to allude to depression"). We're told that every piece of art/media/literature etc is more of a detective's puzzle than anything else and anyone creating mainstream art is in on the game.

While I think it's absolutely true that every piece of art has a bottomless depth of potential in it, I think we were sold a lie in being led to believe that any and every creator cares at all about that, let alone is helping to construct some genius meta web for us to unravel (particularly capitalist, mainstream creators that are beholden to execs). I think because of this we also, historically, have fallen easily into believing that IF the creator IS doing this, they're constructing something for our appeal (a subtextual queer pairing for instance). We never consider the much more likely outcome (as has been proven time and time again) that the creator is constructing something solely for himself and others like him and doesn't give a single shit about what marginalized people might want to see in subtext or context or otherwise (but lord knows a suit is going to push them to do the safe amount of queerbait for views and investors)

As it stands at this point, I'm indisputably in love with Owen and Tom's dynamic and the very few things they're able to think up that make it into the text. I love the idea of what Mobius and Loki could be together if the MCU hadn't become a completely hollowed out capitalist husk spitting out garbage for profit as fast as it possibly can. I love what the fandom has come up with in the interim because everyone within is SO talented and cares so much more about these characters than the people being paid to write them. I can absolutely go read a fanfic or a comic and get far more satisfaction and food-for-thought than I would trying to sit through yet another churned out pile of MCU garbage that ultimately means nothing, because no one involved has or was allowed to have any heart in the work. I feel like I've been shown SO MANY times that I'm not only wasting my own time doing this, I'm wasting the time of others by helping to convince them a text without depth actually might have it intentionally.

So. I'd like to say absolutely not. I'd like to say I will not have anything to do with this 2nd season as much as I might want to, because they already made it clear in the first season (and the resulting messy, completely unprofessional interviews etc) that this show is not for me, so if I go wandering into this next season with some dumbass expectations or hope for things that absolutely are not going to happen that's on me. I also am not keen to support a show that has been OVERTLY stubborn about depicting genderfluidity in an accurate or responsible way, has repeatedly employed TERF ideologies into their plots, with multiple people on cast and crew being open TERFS, despite making sure the show was advertised as a queer-appealing piece that would explore Loki's gender identity. They are absolutely trying everything they can to take queer peoples' money and time without giving them anything substantial in return, and it's not the first or I daresay the last show to do it. I'm tired of being a fool to these narratives tbh.

However, again, my problem is that I love Tom and Owen together and immediately melted when I saw them in the s2 BTS pics. I don't know how I'll realistically talk myself out of watching any of their scenes together at least in the next season, even though I know the MCU is never going to write them to be what they could be. Let's just be honest about that now. It's never going to happen in canon, I'm sorry- and even if it did it would probably suck and all the Lokius fanfics you've ever read are leagues better than what the MCU would do to them even if they deigned to make them official. We need to stop kidding ourselves because the end result is just feeding a corporation accolades and money they don't deserve, while creators trying to make actual, heartfelt representation get ignored. (....now if I'm wrong someday feel free to bully me on anon or whatever lmao)

AND THIS ISN'T TO SAY WE SHOULDN'T HAVE A FANDOM. This isn't to say we shouldn't create our OWN versions!! This isn't to say we shouldn't love the POTENTIAL of the pairing and keep exploring what that could be, I don't want to be misunderstood here! I think it's just a matter of being comfortable enough to move away from that need for canon affirmation, which is something that while not impossible or unprecedented, is difficult sometimes for fandoms to do as we've historically seen canon as the ultimate authority, rather than a sandbox of things we can just grab what we like from to play with and ignore/nuke the rest lmao. It's about embracing the derivative for what it is.

I might end up writing some meta about s2, probably something that expands on a look Mobius gives Loki or something equally insignificant that I blow up and turn into my own thing, but that's if I can get access to Lokius scenes etc. Either way I will not be watching this show in completion on my own or paying the Disney+ sub to watch

#anti mcu #lokius

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wayward-writers · 2 years

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Monday MoodBoards

character mood boards (we'll reblog any under our tracker tags #waywardwriters #waywardroad)

Tall Tales Tuesdays

writing based off of thursday's prompt (we'll reblog any under our tracker tags #waywardwriters #waywardroad)

Wellness Wednesdays

self-care reminders, tips, and check-ins

Thursday Themes

prompt night (we'll reblog anything made in response) we post a prompt for the week (to be posted on Tuesdays)

Fluffiest Fridays

pet pics all round

Saturday Night Song Recs

swap songs with us please (we'll make a playlist of all of our suggestions and yours)

Sunday Scribbles

posting our quick pieces of art and reblogging any pieces under our tracker tags (#waywardwriters #waywardroad)

Meet the server below the cut:

Our email: [email protected]

Hi there! I’m E || @walksinstarllight on Tumblr. She/her, they/them, aroace and cas-coded through and through. I've only pretty recently gotten into Supernatural, but it has definitely carved its own place into my heart. I adore all of these characters (Cas especially), and I want to help give them the endings they deserve. I'm the Sera Gamble of the Wayward Writers (but better), and I'll be doing mainly plot and meta stuff here (that is, when I'm not screaming about fanfics), but I'm hoping to try my hand at writing as well. This project, and the people here, already mean so much to me, and I'm so glad to be a part of the Wayward Road.

Hey, I'm Kat (K). My tumblr is @apathetichristmascracker come say hi - you'll see me around on this tumblr too alongside sonia, erin, and intro and outro. I'm C's Wine Sis, she's the dark to my twisty (greys ref), and I spend a ridiculous amount of time in the voice chats with Sonia and Erin just pissing about (they're great writers btw). According to the latest uquiz, I'm dean-coded, but I like to think I'm closer to end!cas. I'm 19 and in my first year of uni so this is me, banging a few gongs before the lights go out and I'm plunged into the real adult world (where I'm sure I'll continue as normal and it'll be no big deal, but I like to dramatise). I've been watching the show since S10 and I am obviously not ready to let Sam, Dean, Cas, and the rest of our babies go. So I'm here and I'm just really excited to hang out and get creative with the rest of Wayward Writers - write a lil love, write a lil pain. Of all the spn writer aliases we Waywards have adopted, I'm the Robbie Thompson lmao (the crypt, chronos, etc). I've worked with some particularly dope people on this project and we have some big brains - erin is our resident brain cell - in our ranks, so I can assure you peeps this is gonna be a wild ride on both our ends, in the best way.

Hi! So I'm Sonia - dean-coded hahaha I'm healthy™ I use she/her (tbh it's more any pronouns genders weird OK? I have no clue where I stand on it lmao) my tumblr is @carlgrimeschildsoldier I've been a supernatural fan for like 10 years now it's been a long decade I joined this project just to have some fun (not to say I don't take this rewrite seriously cause ofc I do) with rewriting, I love coming up with ideas and I've been really getting into writing due to all this which is awesome! So I help out with plot lbr I just throw ideas at the wall to see which ones stick lmao coherent thoughts who? and writing scripts I also wanna try writing novels! I've also ended up doing some of the Lore which hasn't made me wanna cry at all and am also helping out on the tumblr now too. I'm also pretty well known for being one of the ones always around lmao having a life who now? I'm also well known for being angsty af so in the nicest way possible I hope to make you all cry lmao. I'm really glad to be working on such a cool project and to see all the ideas everyone comes up with, I can't wait for you to see what we've created!

Heya all, I'm Cendense. I am found on my multi-purpose tumblr which is @centroverted . Any questions about me are likely to be answered there! Just look for the person with a Wei Ying pic somewhere on their layout. I'm an English major and tend to throw words at a wall and hope they stick! I got into spn around the ninth season and got repeatedly drawn back in due to certain things~ happening. I'm often about just spouting randomness to my fellow writers in this project, who have kept my life interesting the past few months. I'm going to vanish into the background now, as is my specialty, but rumor has it that if you say "The Untamed" in front of your tumblr three times in a row I shall appear.

Hey, I'm C. and I go by she/her. My tumblr is @dadstiel-trenchcoat . I'm currently in university and soon about to start a master program. My lovely subjects are English and Philosophy. I'm Davy Perez and one half of Ava(lance) of the Wayward Writers. Me and my other half A. hope to bring you some quality crossover content.™️ I also hope to live up to Perez' name and get justice for our shy, but devastatingly handsome angel. When I'm not simping for the Legends or SPN characters, chances are I'm on VC with my Wine Sis K. I wanna do a little bit of everything but my main focus will be writing and plot ideas. I might also do some work as a scribe because otherwise my attention span will give up after 30 minutes. Fun fact: I'm both claire- and donna-coded so I will be up at 3AM having the time of my life but also yell at you (softly) to go to bed. Also I'm a petty betty™️.

Heyo! I'm Gabriel (they/them), and the president of the Balthazar Deserved Better Club. My tumblr @ is @i-miss-balthazar . In this project, I contribute as a writer, lore researcher, plot planner, and sexy sax player. I'm also your resident simp, both for the characters and our talented Ether as well heart_eyes . All cards on the table, I joined solely to help Balthazar get what he deserved. However in working on this, I've found a deeper appreciation for all the characters, even the ones I wasn't initially a fan of. I'm thrilled to be a part of the Wayward Road, and I can't wait until we get to share it with y'all.

Hey :) I'm Ether, or Eth for short, he/they, cas-coded sam-girl (gender neutral), charlie and kevin stan and president of the Sam Winchester protection squad. My tumblr is @tesghosterone and I've been watching the show sort of on and off for about 4 years. My job here is mainly for plot ideas and writing, but I'm trying my hand at meta and lore as well (when I actually have the braincell, that is). I spend most of my time here making my memes, drinking tea, creating Spotify playlists for random things and characters, and throwing random ideas around about subjects that make me sparkles feel things sparkles. other than simping for fictional characters, I am also my Gabriel's (not the archangel) biggest fan <3 I joined to do the characters (i.e. sam) justice and try and fix the plot inconsistencies that bugged me and turn them into something beautiful, and yes i am bitter about the special kids' arc in season 2, and the treatment of a number of minor characters (cough rufus turner and bela talbot cough). I am so happy to be here, working with these wonderful people, and I'm very excited to contribute to this project <3

Hi we’re Intro and Outro! Our tumblr @'s are @internetintroverts and @yourfinalbow , respectively. We do almost all of our work on the project together, which is why we’ve been dubbed “The Chaos Twins”, and we're the official Bucklemming of Wayward Road. We also spent 30+ hours writing Phantom Traveler and that episode has pretty much scarred us for life. But it's ok because time flies when you're- Sorry that 1x04 reference just slipped out. Right now we co-run some Tumblrs together and drink a lot of chocolate milk at 3 am while we try to get work done. Outro is a Dean-coded Dean girl (gn), Intro is a Cas-coded Dean girl (gn), and we're both definitely clowns. We hope you enjoy all the work we do, otherwise we really will be Bucklemming.

Hi everyone I'm Ael. One drink in hand for hydratation, a knife in the other to protect you all. Any pronouns are fine by me, I'm in my twenties and well I'm half-Dean half-Cas coded if it's any indication for you all! I love plotting ideas and doing lore research. I'm a professional Pic -Spammer and have too many Fandoms to do anything with my life. I'm the other half of (Ava)lance. Can't wait to share more with all of you! Tumblr: @tenji-whale-ael

Hi, I’m Rosalie! (they/them) My favorite color is blue like my spouse Blue :)) I don’t really use tumblr sorry. I love to write and I help write scripts for the rewrite (or I will once the universe gives me time to do it) You can check out my stuff on ao3! My user is rosepose!

Hi, I’m Lane! Also known as Thee Chaotic Fairy of Wholesomeness. My pronouns are she/her and my tumblr handle is @lanethesimp . I art things but I will occasionally be writing things as well within this project. I started really watching Supernatural a few years ago and the rest is history. I’m an endverse!Cas coded and Dean-coded girl. But there are so many other characters that I really love and are close to my heart. I’m honored to be a part of a project dedicated to creating a more satisfying ending for the characters I believe we’ve all grown to know & love. Not only for them, but for all of us who may have felt left out in the end. And I’m also very honored to be working with such amazing people and creating something great. I can assure you that this journey on the Wayward Road is going to be a fun one.

(Cas voice) Hello. I’m Elle! I use she/they pronouns. I’m a Sam-Coded Cas girl and it shows. I started watching Spn during season 12 after it was recommended by a friend. I’m the Bobo Berens of the project so I’ll be doing writing and plot . When I’m not writing for Wayward Road, you can find me making memes, sending gifs to Carrot, completing crack fic requests, or spewing angsty headcanons. Come say hi, my Tumblr is @ellewritessometimes .

#waywardwriters #waywardroad #spnrewrite #supernatural #wayward writers #spn #introductions #finally #meet the team #spn family #spn fandom #waywardrambles

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everythingsinred · 3 years

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: The Anime (pt. 1)

I could go on and on about these two and I think I will, just because I don’t often see people talk about the analysis behind them. The meta I have seen about them has included a perspective that equaled the anime and the manga and I don’t think that’s an accurate way of viewing their relationship.

The anime is a different species than the manga, something that frequently happens during the adaptation from page to screen. Since they’re so different, I’ll analyze them separately.

There's going to be many parts to this so I'll keep a table of contents right here so people can more easily navigate (though you can also read through the "let's talk about natsumikan: the anime" tag on my blog):

Anime Analysis

Part 1: Exposition & Episode 7

Part 2: Episodes 8, 9, 10, & 11

Part 3: Episodes 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, & 17

Part 4: Episodes 18 & 19

Part 5: Episodes 20, 21, & 22

Part 6: Episodes 23, 24, 25, & 26 & Conclusion

The anime makes changes, as anime adaptations often do. The most outstanding changes are appearance related, as Natsume now has brown eyes instead of red, in addition to other characters who have hue-shifted eyes and hair. But there are also story changes, and I’ll be focusing on the changes that occur, specifically in regards to Natsume and Mikan and their relationship.

For one, their relationship starts evolving much earlier in the anime. I think it’s pretty undeniable that in the anime, Natsume started liking Mikan at the end of the dodgeball game. That scene never happened in the manga, but in the anime, it’s a crucial step in making sure nothing seems too sudden or forced.

The anime is 26 episodes long. If Natsume only starts liking Mikan after she saves him during the Reo Arc, then we’re already halfway through the show when positive feelings between the two appear. On the other hand, the feelings develop more slowly in the manga because there’s more time to properly develop the relationship in a more drawn out way.

My analysis will start with the anime, because it’s shorter and easier to discuss.

Exposition

It’s impossible to say that the anime was completely loyal to the manga. It very frequently couldn’t be, because it needed to fill in time in episodes or give closure early before the manga even addressed it (Natsume’s backstory in the anime, for instance, is vaguely referred to and implies deviation from the manga).

The most obvious difference between the manga and the anime from the get-go is visual. Not only do they have differing art styles (I don’t dislike the anime style but Higuchi Tachibana’s art style is so distinct and unmistakable while the anime’s isn’t so unique), but the setting is also different.

While the manga started in the depth of winter, the anime starts off in summer/fall. It always struck me as odd that while the first page of the manga has Mikan running after Hotaru in full winter-wear, the anime starts off warm and idyllic. You could almost think of that as a general warning for the difference between the anime and the manga. After all, while the anime has a reputation for being a cutesy and upbeat story about friendship and magical powers, the manga is much darker and discusses many morbid and depressing themes that can and WILL fuck you up. Warm vs. cold seems like an accurate difference, though I don’t think that was intentional.

We see way more of the village life in the anime, including Mikan’s efforts to keep the school from closing. This is a welcome change because Mikan’s passion to keep the school open is nothing compared to her friendship with Hotaru, and even after the school is saved, she runs away to see her friend, even if it means she goes to another school. The manga doesn’t imply that Mikan knew already about the school’s fate, and since she is always so preoccupied with Hotaru anyway, we don’t really get the impression that she cares very much. To Anime!Mikan, Hotaru is more important than saving the school, something she was so passionate about she rallied to get signatures. It’s an extra scene to prove just how much Hotaru matters to Mikan, and to show even more how selfless Hotaru was to go to Alice Academy, since she knew how much the school mattered to Mikan.

“Sign my petition to get a Gakuen Alice anime reboot!!!”

My boy Natsume is only introduced properly in the second episode, when we actually see his face and he speaks. His appearance is different from the manga’s too. I’m not sure if this was to appeal to a younger audience or what, but Natsume’s eyes are changed to brown instead of their iconic red, something that was always my biggest peeve about the anime adaptation. His hair is also somewhat purplish instead of entirely grey/black and, although this does bother me a lot less than the eyes, I wonder why they made this change when other characters have black hair. It might have been to differentiate him from Hotaru, another main character with black hair, though I’ve never had issue in the manga telling them apart.

His first interaction with Mikan is a lot more pleasant in the anime than in the manga, although that’s not really saying anything. Mikan’s skirt simply falls off and Natsume draws attention to it, rather than the unpleasant events that took place in the manga. This different event makes it a lot easier to support a relationship between the two of them right off the bat. They are still antagonistic but it’s not as terrible as it is in the manga. This makes it easier to establish romantic feelings earlier on, and might have been changed in order to achieve just that, or possibly also to appeal to a younger audience. Maybe both? Who knows.

“You can’t sit with us!”

With Natsume presented the way he is in the anime, it’s easier to make the claim that he’s simply a good guy who acts the way he does to protect people. And it’s true! He is! But he is also so much more. In the manga, he’s a more complicated character. Although he is a good person, he still requires character development, which is something he does go through, and something I’ll talk about more in his meta analysis later.

Most of the events at the beginning of the anime parallel the events of the manga. Mikan goes to Alice Academy at the same time of year, Natsume shows up with an explosion, Mikan has to go through the Northern Woods, she discovers her powers in her fight with Natsume, etc. Some of the continuation from episode to episode is different than the transitions between chapter to chapter, there’s extra scenes inserted to fill up time, and some of the exposition seems strangely presented (in the anime, Mikan finds out more about the school when she finds Narumi and Iinchou waiting for her at a tea party, which is…. Super weird…), but all in all the information and events are mainly the same. The big differences start with the dodgeball episode.

“Look how happy she is. Makes me wanna barf.”

Episode 7 vs. Chapter 9

I love the dodgeball episode. I feel like for the most part, the anime does deviation from the manga pretty well. With the last arc as an exception, I generally enjoy their changes and additions to the plot. The anime has to be different, has to progress at a different pace, has to introduce topics at different times. They have an episode to fill, and less time to build relationships. Natsume and Mikan are both different characters in the anime but it’s very subtle and has to happen due to the fact that the anime is shorter and seems more designed for younger audiences, in addition to wrapping up before the manga could explore more of the story.

Anyway, let’s talk about the dodgeball episode. AGAIN THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN IN THE MANGA THE SAME WAY so when discussing NatsuMikan as a concept, the anime events cannot be treated the same as the manga events. A lot of people maybe forget that the manga is very different than the anime when it comes to this episode. I see the two media conflated in plenty of fanfics, where seventeen year old NatsuMikan reflect on the dodgeball game from their youth that changed everything, and I get it because the anime version of the dodgeball game is cute! It's shippy! It's fun! But it doesn't happen in the manga the same way.

There's a similar trope with the sakura tree, which I can only remember from the anime, and yet it's such a fundamental aspect of NM fanfic it might as well have played a vital role in both anime and manga. Nothing wrong with any of this, of course. I'm just making it clear that my analysis will cover the two media as separate for the sake of a cohesive essay. Separating them in fanfic is far less important.

This look could probably kill someone. I’m surprised Mikan is still alive, TBH.

The chapter’s focus is Mikan starting to feel more at home in Class B, making friends with her once-hostile classmates, but the episode is more preoccupied with Natsume and Mikan’s perspectives on each other. While in the manga, the game ends with a tie and Mikan accidentally hits Hotaru in the face with the ball, the anime draws out the game to fill an episode and to introduce an evolution in the way Natsume sees Mikan. The first part of the anime episode is Mikan introducing her friends to her new senpai, Tsubasa. After she invites her friends, we see Natsume glowering at her and promptly ditching the next class, saying to Ruka that he can’t stand being in the same class as her. This addition to the plot already foreshadows that their relationship will change in some way by the end of the episode.

Tsubasa tells a frustrated Mikan that if she wants Natsume to be less unpleasant, he’d need to release some of his toxic energy. Thus, the sporty Mikan introduces the concept of dodgeball to the unwelcoming class. When they finally agree, Natsume gives one condition: that they play with the notorious Alice Ball, which is powered by the thrower’s alice (a detail absent from the manga). This Alice Ball is particularly terrifying with the threat of Natsume’s dangerous fire alice. Mikan also needs to get more people on her team, another aspect absent from the manga. While in the manga, Mikan only had her few friends on her team (including a wandering Ruka) and this ended up playing to her advantage, the anime has a humorous plot of Mikan tracking players down for her team, including a fake mustache she makes with her pigtails (she’s so cute, I love her), paying Hotaru to be on her team, and blackmailing Ruka to participate. This was mainly to fill time, but it makes the dodgeball game more important as well.

In the manga, we don’t see how the game ends, just that the teams tied and that everyone in class is having fun and bonding. In the anime, more emphasis is put on the “Mikan vs. Natsume” aspect, so a tie like the manga’s would be anticlimactic. Thus, the anime concludes the dodgeball game with Mikan and Natsume being the only kids left on the court, and Natsume not using his alice when he throws the Alice Ball. Even Hotaru leaving the game is something she does out of boredom instead of injury, further separating the other characters from the plot. It’s about Natsume and Mikan, and everyone else is mostly a side character. (Though Ruka also plays a vital role to this episode AND chapter, and it’s at this point that I think he started developing real feelings for Mikan as well. So when it comes to the anime, he and Natsume fall for Mikan around the same time, but in the manga, Ruka likes her first and the “he liked her first” argument for Natsume vanishes, though he never had that “advantage” to begin with.)

“Thank you!”

Natsume wins (something that shocked me at twelve years old) and is ready to walk away with his handy “tch” and all but Mikan thanks him for not using his alice and he goes off on her, demanding to know why she’s still smiling despite her loss. She says she’s happy that he had fun and was involved with the rest of class for once, and that in a way that means she wins. For Anime!Natsumikan, this is it. This is the turning point. “I just wanted you to be happy and have fun,” is what Mikan might as well be saying. “Really, this was all for you!” It’s sweet and it’s thoughtful and I don’t think Natsume ever imagined he’d be on the receiving end of her kindness, especially after all their beef. Manga!Mikan would probably not say these things to him, even if she meant them, for the sole reason that Mikan is stubborn and holds onto her pride, especially when it comes to her early relationship with Natsume, but Anime!Mikan is much more forgiving and much more willing to extend an olive branch, like in the dance episode. In any case, Natsume starts falling right then, and it’s obvious too, because he is pissed, and even more angry because he’s not even mad at her. He’s angry with himself for his change of opinion. This is the girl he was fully content to hate forever and yet here he was, starting to like her. Not ideal.

This scene, something so crucial to the development of Anime!Natsumikan, is completely absent from the manga. In the manga, Natsume still dislikes her by the end of the game although he does have fun.

He's not angry, just disappointed. In himself.

I’m not going to say one is better when it comes to starting up NatsuMikan because they’re very different creatures and I actually thoroughly enjoy both.

Anyway, the NatsuMikan after episode 7 is almost the same as in the manga, but the events carry a different weight since we know Natsume likes Mikan now (even if he would never admit it).

Summary

I hope this first part was interesting, and that it introduced the idea of Anime!NatsuMikan as being a little different from the manga's version. Yes, it is more or less the same story, but with so many thematic and plot changes, they take a different form as well, in a perhaps more subtle way, kind of like a slightly canon divergent fanfic. Fanfic where Natsume starts liking Mikan a bit earlier on in the story.

Next Part ->

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kinnoth · 3 years

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What's your take on Thor Ragnarok? What's your take on Thor's development within the MCU so far?I'm a fan of your posts and tags!

GREAT QUESTIONS THANK YOU FOR ASKING, THANKS FOR BEING A FAN

tldr I """"like"""" Thor's canon development now bc I've done some fucking Olympic grade backfilling and contortion to recontextualize the canon to make it meaningful, but this results in me living in my own pocket universe of an interpretation where I can't really interact with other people bc they don't subscribe to my exact reading of canon

But bro I LOVE Ragnarok. I know that can be a controversial take (I've read the meta of people who think it "slaughtered" Thor and Loki's characterisations), but I just thought it was so much fun! Like on a movie watching experience level and on a lore/meta level, it's FUN. That's not something I can say for 95% of marvel movies, which are nigh universally too dimly lit and too reliant on hateful sarcasm between characters as a substitute for a relationship.

On a meta level, I 1000% subscribe to the idea that the entire movie is a retelling that Thor is preforming for his refugees, so it's a heavily edited, exaggerated, and sillier version of events meant to keep everyone's spirits up. On the point of lore continuity, I really appreciate that thor3 makes CANON and EXPLICIT Odin's campaign of imperialist violence behind his "peaceful" reign over the nine realms, I FUCKIN LOVE IT. I LOVE the context Hela gives to their family, because she makes canon and explicit Odin's disappointments in Thor. I LOVE that Mjolnir was Hela's weapon before it was Thor's because Mjolnir was never meant to be a metric for moral goodness or readiness for rule, but a metric for a colonialist's commitment to imperialist violence on behalf of an empire WHICH IS WHY IT FINDS CAPTAIN AMERICA WORTHY BUT NOT LOKI

(btw if anyone else can draw a line between Hela and Steve Rogers that is a. representative of Odin's priorities and b. includes Thor but excludes Loki, hmu, bc this is the best I got.)

(Mjolnir rejects Thor in thor1 bc Thor was trying to conquer Jotunheim for personal glory and doesn't accept him again until he starts thinking about the good of the empire again by protecting Midgard, an imperial asset. Mjolnir rejects Loki bc Loki is a not an imperialist in service of an empire)

Off topic but I know a lot of people get hung up on Thor leaving Loki paralyzed in the parking garage, potentially to be found by the grandmasters dudes? Like people say that was unaccountably cruel and ooc for Thor. But like, ok, they killed everyone on the way up, and Thor knows his armed gladiator rebellion is on his heels also headed for the parking garage, so I dunno, I never read it as Loki was in any particular danger? But I'm a notorious Thor apologist as well as a Loki apologist so 🤷‍♂️

Things I also love: loki defunding the military to spend that money on art and infrastructure, Loki's live action thorki fanfic that Asgard unaccountably loved, Loki stonewalling Odin's attempt to reconcile bc fuck Odin, Thor's lightning powers, Bruce banner is now a Jewish grandma, Hela have I mentioned Hela love that girlboss, Jeff goldblum love that wiggly man, the Valkyrie love that angry girl, "piss off ghost", inglorious deaths for all the warriors 3, "I'm here" (screaming, crying, shaking), the story about how Loki bit Thor as a snake as well as the confirmation that they are in fact the same age

I have complicated feelings about Thor's canon development tbh. On a very ground floor sort of reaction, I despise what they did to My Boy in infinity war and endgame. I think it's a disgusting character assassination and I don't think the russos understand humour and specifically how to use humour to expand on tragedy like what thor3 did.

On the other hand, if you've read my fic and meta, you'll know that I've accepted the canon development, bc at this point, I've done a LOT of very deliberate and concerted labour to MAKE the canon development we see between thor1 and endgame WORK. But, like, there was a LOT of labour that I, specifically, put into it. It fully relies on me specifically doing a lot of digging and reaching and mining these movies for every possible frame of content to the point where I am pretty sure I've put more effort into making all the development make continuous sense than any of the screenwriters put into the actual development.

And I think I've probably just drank too much of my own Kool aid but like, I am in a position now where I do think my interpretation of Thor's character development is THE most complete and accurate reading of his character development. Key to these points are: a) I think he is an ex-imperialist who is currently and actively trying to deprogram himself from the colonialists' mindset that Odin instilled within him b) he is trying to deprogram himself from Asgard's culture of extreme toxic masculinity wherein he was not taught to have any sort of emotional processing that did not involve physical violence c) Loki is/was/always will be the person he loves best

So like, as I try to show in my thorki canonverse fics (shameless plug for myself), I can make most of the bad decisions made about Thor's character in infinity war and endgame work if I recontextualize all of his canon actions with my own (well supported, well documented) headcanon'd baggage. Of course he goes on a death wish mission to get revenge on Thanos -- he has a literal deathwish bc he was already supposed to die with Loki. Of course he sinks into an unshakeable depression afterwards -- he has no identity now that he has no family bc he was never taught to live by himself or for himself. Of course he leaves new Asgard and abdicates his rule -- he hasn't wanted a hand in the dirty business of Empire ever since Odin's ambition got his mom and brother killed in thor2, and that hasn't changed. I try to make him go through all the canon-implied feelings and anxieties and doubts in front of the reader. My entire goal of this is that people read my shit, then look at canon and think "oohh that context DOES make it better!" I will be gratified if that is the case.

(The only thing I cannot fix is the bit in endgame where Thor walks past Loki's Tupperware cell and the narrative doesn't come to a screeching fucking halt as Thor has so many feelings that he has some sort of paralytic breakdown where he simultaneously wants to commit Time Crime (tm) so he can just stay here forever and also wishes he could just die here, next to loki, like he was always supposed to. Like, that needed to happen to really lynchpin all of my work together into one smooth, problem free reading, but I'm not allowed to have nice things so)

(oh also I didn't like Thor calling frigga "mom". Shouldn't it at least be "mum"? I think "mother" is best tbh, bc I don't really read them as having that sort of relationship, see "toxic masculinity", see also "homosocial socialisation")

(and ok I get that it was a nice moment for Thor to call the hammer back to his hand, and I get that it even still works with my headcanon that mjolnir finds Thor worthy still bc Thor is defending the imperial asset that is Midgard, but like God damnit. The uncritical and unquestioning use of that word "worthy" when he catches the hammer again. Like worthy of what you guys? Do you ever ask yourself that question bc I very much do. I kinda wish they didnt bring it up at all, or if they did, it didn't come back to Thor's hand and he is just like, wistfully, "that's all right, I suspected as much. I'm such a different man now, mjolnir doesn't recognize me. I don't think I'd be alive right now if I had been the same man I was")

Wow that got long, anyway, thanks for chatting with me! Again, always a pleasure to field asks!

#internal thor tag

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