#take your productivity pills and charge your surveillance state cell phone

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PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE FINE PRINT THAT'S ACTUALLY JUST FOR DECORATION AND IT'S ALL REALLY BORING WE SWEAR

is your job performance suffering due to a persistent desire to lead a fulfilling life? the friendly pharmaceutical companies have developed a solution which they have generously made available for purchase. here watch this drug advertisement we worked so hard on. it shows people free of pain enjoying their day at the office. these are actual patients we cured, not paid actors. questioning this or any statement indicates affiliation with political extremism on both sides and means you're probably a terrorist. maybe even a double terrorist. besides, knowledge is a burden, wouldn't you rather just trust us, the way you do with your health? you should ask your doctor if workmoronal is right for you. workmoronal treats all symptoms related to resistance and/or defense of personal freedoms and can reduce your sense of having a soul in under two weeks. get back to being a productive employee with workmoronal from johnson and johnson. a family company. but not your family. you don't really see them anymore. and you're fine with that. really. by now you're generally ok with whatever the boss decides. another full recovery made possible by workmoronal.

it's really wonderful the way science is helping people lead better lives every day. not people like you though. people like the guy who owns johnson and johnson. who remembers what his family looks like. but he worked hard. he earned what he has. his collection of bank notes proves that he's a better person than you, and this moral superiority has kept him healthy. he didn't need a doctor's help to be a Valuable and Productive Employee. you, however, require a treatment regimen of workmoronal. also you've been asking too many questions and the doctor has diagnosed you with chronic curiosity, which, without treatment, can be fatal (for someone much more important than you). so you've been prescribed two capsules of acceptall, to be taken with booze. this should help slow down your higher brain and reduce symptoms of critical thinking. you may return to work tomorrow. in fact you have to or you'll starve in the street. if you would prefer to use a suicide booth at this time, please see the reception staff to schedule an appointment. patients who miss their appointments will be charged a fee they can't afford. this reflects a society that values keeping one's word. otherwise people might find you unreliable. and that doesn't look very good on a resume.

it would seem that the severity of your case demands a higher level of care. may we suggest our outpatient treatment program to correct confusion surrounding life's purpose? it's the doctor's opinion that you're a good candidate for priority readjustment therapy. this is highly effective and a great opportunity for you. well, no it won't bring you any peace or reduce the psychic impact of the horrors, and it doesn't actually help you feel better in any noticeable way. but we're healthcare providers. that's not what we do here. we are however proud to offer a wide array of pill-shaped solutions to problems. well, not your problems. once again, we refer to the problems of the johnson and johnson guy who gets to see his family. and one of his problems is you. specifically what remains of your humanity and the stubborn way in which you cling to it. workmoronal will make you forget about all that. we have pills that can gut you from the inside and lobotomize you irrevocably until you no longer suffer or despair. you will no longer know love or joy either, but it won't take you long to be desperate enough not to care. they'll make real life so miserable you'll line up to have the spark of your spirit chemically extinguished. you might even be grateful for it. almost everyone is eventually grateful for it. but don't be too hard on yourself. you're only the picked-clean ghostbones of a human, after all. you were such a cooperative patient that even the scavengers got their fill. and everyone has already eaten by the time you realize they never set a place for you at their table. for those born to your station, there are only two options at every meal: you're either the servant or you're what's being served.

#cue greater omaha by desaparecidos lol but no really do it that song rocks #workmoronal is my new favorite joke #i'm finding every opportunity to use it irl and now my friends are saying it #in a clinical trial workmoronal produced a 20 percent increase in willingness to remain a slave #and showed a marked increase in indifference toward trading one's single life on earth away to benefit rich strangers #this unsavory advertisement has been brought to you by the company that owns all the drug companies #(makers of workmoronal: the only cure for creeping feelings that there must be more to life than this dear god please let there be more) #late stage capitalism #take your productivity pills and charge your surveillance state cell phone #the future is worse #text