#starting to think my biggest roadblock to happiness is just how suffocatingly lonely i am idk

[savethepinecones]

sometimes you gotta go sit on the porch in the middle of the night and stare at the stars for half an hour or so

#its been a rough week ngl #starting to think my biggest roadblock to happiness is just how suffocatingly lonely i am idk #and its all tangled and confused #im starting to think im aromantic idk #like i dont necessarily want a partner in the romantic sense #but the idea of having someone who youre committed to and is committed to you in turn is very appealing #idk i think i want something more along the lines of a qpr #its just tough because ive never really been interested in dating or whatever and i thought that meant i was happy to just be by myself #but im starting to think thats not quite accurate #and its terrifying because i have no idea how to reach for something like that #dont mind me rambling its 1 am and i didnt take my meds yesterday so im a bit jumbled i think #this is unrelated to the rest of this but for a minute i thought about taking up smoking so id have a reason to go outside more often #idk like i said its been a weird week