#splorpo face

[splorpo]

getting one more outfit post out here before this fuckass year ends‼️

#2023 has been the year of me taking Ls across the board #hence why i have made like three fashion posts. hard to be dressing when ur sick as hell for most of the year #sorry about the lighting i live in a basement now #splorpo face

[janetfraiser]

forget blorbo from my show

now loving splorpo from my house

[image description: photo of a brown tabby sitting on her moms lap covered by a blue blanket. the photo is taken from behind so you can't see her face. she has a thick black stripe along her spine and gobs of extra skin smooshed to the side. ]

#the life and times of Nova Scotia

[turtlemagnum]

another incomplete and petty list???? really turtle??? guesss your really hitting bottom of the beryl now.....

yeah anyways here's shit about youtube thumbnails and the stuff surrounding that make me go "ew" and click not interested

column A: stupid lookin faces in the thumbnail. just some guy pulling something that'll then get turned into one of those stupid soyface memes, or somebody editing a character's face to look like that stupid imposter meme of that jeremy guy that people seem to like so much. i don't find it funny, in fact i actively find it obnoxious, and if i were still allowed to i'd report your videos for terrorism

title something like "You Won't Believe This....", too damn vague!!!! tells me NOTHING.... you think i'm just gonna be suckered in by something so fucking noncommittal and wishy washy? for the love of god, if you titled your video "i put my penis into a microwave just to see what would happen", i'd think it was dumb, but i'd still know what it was about so i'd be able to make a goddamn informed decision about what i'm fucking ignoring, you telling me nothing but the vaguest and blandest hint of intrigue just makes me intensely disinterested.

columbo 3, the channel is titled in a certain way, it's hard to give a concrete list of attributes but it's definitely a "you'll know it when you see it" kinda thing. names like "The Art of Learning" or "Trey The God" or "MemeMoonMan69" are pretty exemplary of the general most common archetypes, just painfully generic or self aggrandizing names that you could name literally anything and are virtually interchangeable

obnoxious voices, especially british voices, for the love of god just talk like a normal person instead of that Bullshit Announcer Voice That Sounds So Excited To Say EveryThing And Yells Every 10 Seconds To Make Sure The Babies In The Audience Don'T Click OFf

children. enough said

obnoxious britishness, i can tolerate the rare good brits but if i have to hear some johnny rotten soundin dickshitter whine on about ohhhhh god save the piddlywankas and the boys in red and oi doncha talk piss on the L85 ya fackin cunt i'll glass ye and shut up. just shut up.

omg yes i totally want to hear about the celebrity gossip with jairo and mellissa mccrompferspotnen and their breakup with jizzo and vumsch or whoever the fuck like god shut up i have literally never heard of any of these people and frankly, they're all probably insufferable. you couldn't pay me billions to even attempt to care about a single one of these shitstain cum snorting hogfuckers, the only rival of their intense lack of interestingness is their sheer vapidity and preening obnoxiousness

then there's videos where it's like OMG ARE YOU A REAL (bullshit societally constructed group, usually something pertaining to masculinity). i know i'm by no means the target audience for this shit, quite frankly my masculinity is about the only thing about me that isn't severely unstable, so your incessant pompous posturing about how much of a "real man" you are and whatever other shitty opinions you have that you're gonna try to pass off as objective facts are quite frankly, less interesting than dirt to me. literally, you ever fucking look at that shit???? it's got all sortsa neat little things in it, i could honest to god get significantly more enrichment playing in the goddamn dirt like a literal toddler than to spend even a picosecond paying a sliver of attention to you

the news. i am not going to watch goddamn fox news, i am not going to watch fox news via whatever foreign sounding alt accounts they have. that is all

omg did you hear about the drama between crumb and bookgum????? what about this thing that crockmunchher said about splorpo mcgoonsface??? who even are these people, you ask??? oh they play minecraft usually but also they sometimes play indie horror games and hey where are you going, i didn't even get to matchvvrangler's face reveal!!!!! no i don't care that you're an adult who hasn't played minecraft in years, you like gaming and this is gaming so you're sure to like it!!!!!

offensive memes from social media platform v287!!!!! ylyl cumpliation number 963!!!! my god how do you people know how to breathe, much less edit a goddamn youtube video together

hey did you wanna see a dead hog??? no??? well here's a dead hog anyways. what, you like guns, this channel does gun stuff, obviously you love seeing dead things since you like guns so much, and apparently dead fuckin animals with clear wounds in their face isn't violating any TOS!!!!

oh boy!!! i sure love sportsball, don't you!!!!! what's that???? you couldn't care less about sportsball even if it was the only entertainment left in a bizzare post apocalyptic world where everyone except you and sports fans are dead???? too bad buddy here's some news about the latest match of grown men in pajama shorts playing with balls!!!!!! it was a 0-0 match, isn't that fun!!?!?!?!?? aren't you entertained by watching jackass millionaires getting paid to frolic around in a plastic field for a few hours!!!!

[splorpo]

it is with great joy that i announce that i am now a mother

#there’s an artist on twitter who makes these and i’m absolutely obsessed #eraserhead baby plush save me #splorpo face

[splorpo]

happy lesbian week 💋💋

#sorry for reposting this look i just think everyone should see it again #splorpo face

[splorpo]

these pants are insane i look like a barbie doll

#thank u thrift store for my life #no cool makeup this time bc this was after work #splorpo face

[splorpo]

weird species of office siren that’s yet to be classified

#nothing too cool or fancy bc it’s a work fit but i like this dress!! i got it at goodwill for $10 #u can’t see my twin peaks black lodge earrings in these but trust me they’re there #splorpo face

[splorpo]

hi <3

#how are we today splorpo nation #i want to post a pole video bc i have been working on new moves but then it’s on here FOREVER #so i will wait until i put some cosplay routines together #splorpo face

[splorpo]

if u want to get stepped on, get in line ⛓️🖤⛓️

#splorpo face

[splorpo]

forgot to post these here… happy belated mother’s day 💋💋

#splorpo face

[splorpo]

alien look for a haunted house event with friends 👽👽

#splorpo face

[splorpo]

what’s your selfie tag again? i wanna see pretty bitches but i have a bad memory 🥺

hey thanks 😘😘

it’s just “my face” i don’t really use any fancy tags. here’s some makeup i did to go see barbie btw.

#splorpo answers #splorpo face

[splorpo]

happy pride i’m for the girls

#splorpo face

[splorpo]

haven’t been able to stream since i need a PC very badly and my current laptop is too old to even run minecraft, so i wanted to share some of my notable new shinies!! i have finally gotten into using the max lair to hint shiny legendaries, tho i have a feeling this will become impossible after scarlet and violet release this week :’]

in any case, here are shiny cresselia, reshiram, and mewtwo!! cresselia and reshiram have been my #1 and #2 most wanted shinies since i was a kid, so i am particularly excited about them :]

#did not realize they’re all facing the same direction lmao #splorpo speaks

[splorpo]

just cleared a bunch of old junk out of my blog (including the bulk of my tiktoks, sorry!! they were so old), and made some new tags for navigation (or so u can filter my ass idc):

#splorpo face -> pictures of me out of cosplay

#splorpo cosplay -> pictures of me in cosplay

#splorpo tiktoks -> tiktoks i made

#splorpo dance -> my poledancing

#splorpo answers -> asks i've answered

#splorpo speaks -> textposts i've made

#splorpo streams -> streaming notifications

#splorpo fanart -> fanart people have made for me

#zingus -> that fucking animal

#we all know the tagging system does not work even a little BUT i was so tired of being plagued by my old posts lmao #thought it would be good to use less generic tags!!

[splorpo]

hey 😈😈

#my legs r so. long #splorpo face