#specter going back to her previous state & rejecting skadi | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

abyssalhuntersnerd · 1 year

Text

While yes, Specter Alter made me fucking suffer for months because she's just built different, I still adore her with every single fiber of my being because she's literally everything I could have ever wanted and she is everything she deserved to be.

Everytime I think about how beautiful her character development has been and how her own self worth journey has developed I just get so happy because she thought that she was worth nothing. Her body has been worn out, she has no control over it and the only thing she can do that is somewhat useful is slicing things up for a living. Even if she has a brief moment of consciousness, it's probably just as bad as being trapped in her previous state, it's spent thinking to herself there really isn't anything she can do for herself and that this is it, her fate has been decided. She will die fighting like this, being restrained to chains she never chose in the first place and she won't have a choice in the matter- Because some weirdos decided to inject Originium into her spine to get information out of her and even when they tried to, she still never gave them what they wanted.

I don't think we talk about her mental resilience enough. Like yeah, she was unstable when she didn't have control over herself and her reactions to certain things told you everything you needed to know about her past experiences- But damn, this girl is tougher than most of us would like to admit. The Church tortured her to extremes I'd rather not think about, ruined her life and her as a whole but she doesn't hold any resentment towards them, she doesn't hate their guts, she simply is disgusted by them and just... Instead of straight up murdering Amaya on the fucking spot cause let me tell you I would not be able to hold myself back, she just tells her to fuck off, to please die in the fanciest way possible and dances with her because why not. Just why not. At the end of the day she still admits they would never have gotten along but damn, just damn.

The fact that she takes that experience, the years of isolation and pain- And learns to love herself for who she is now, not for who she was before is mesmerizing. She's 3 people at the same time, she's Laurentina of Aegir, she's Shark of the 2nd Company and she's Specter the Unchained. She's the same person she was but she doesn't reject the parts she hated before.

She sees so much more worth in her own self than she ever did before because those parts she's been trying to reject for so long are what she just needed to become the person she was meant to be, so beautiful, so tragic and so perfect that she baffles me at times.

We don't talk about her enough. About how she's seen her the worst parts of herself and instead of hating them she embraced them. How we all wished we could do that ourselves and we find it so difficult because loving yourself is so hard nowadays.

And honestly? We also don't give Skadi and Gladiia enough goddamn credit. I don't care what anyone says anymore, if it wasn't for them Specter wouldn't be where she is. Yes, they weren't the ones who made her like this but the fact Skadi spent literally YEARS to find something that would help her, even if it was just for a brief moment because she wanted to talk to her, be with her and try to save the only thing she had left from her beloved home? How she considers her, her treasure map, the one who keeps her going even though she doesn't know where she's going but she still will regardless cause if it's for her and with her partner, it's all worth it. How she was the one who cared for her along with everyone who wasn't scared to, who held and carried her when she needed it? The person who properly spent countless hours by her side, telling her about all the things she wished she could tell her in hopes that maybe, that way, she would get better? To then be told that she was being heard and that even if she thought she couldn't rely on Specter, she still told her that Skadi could regardless of her condition? That even after Under Tides she promised her she would be there when she woke up again and she was, and fuck, Skadi's heart probably leaped out of damn joy to see her back, to see the person she's been caring for so damn long to finally be back, back to her true self. Can you imagine how Specter feels about Skadi? How grateful she is to her for everything she's done? How wonderful their relationship is?

How even if there wasn't much to go off of, Gladiia was always there for her. Even if she was desperately looking for a way to go back home and to stop her mutation she still believed in her beloved Shark? Even when Skadi doubted herself and Specter she still reassured her telling her that her hunter is tougher than this. That she can overcome anything. That even if it wasn't much, Specter still appreciated being able to be hunter under her wing, that she promised her she would try to get better even if it took her a while? How Specter makes Gladiia smile with her just being a little shit something not many can do?

How they just... Complete each other in ways I cannot express because it is so beautiful to see 3 people appreciate each other so much? How Specter in a way, might give them that little hope they need to keep going? That if she can better, so can they?

Just. Just them. Just Skadi. Just Gladiia. Just Specter.

I just love her so fucking much. She's absolutely perfect. She deserved her damn Alter so much.

#normal posts #i'm going mad can you tell #the way I relate to all of them is just so #ahshshshsjsjs #why are you all so perfect #why am I awake thinking about them #I have a goddamn job fare tomorrow and I gotta do all the work myself and stay late to clean up but god #them just them

85 notes · View notes