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smoothshift · 7 years

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I'm convinced that Nokians are made by Finnish wizards. (A tale of the winter adventures of an overcautious Southerner.) via /r/cars

I'm convinced that Nokians are made by Finnish wizards. (A tale of the winter adventures of an overcautious Southerner.)

Sorry people who hate the winter tire circlejerk, this isn't for you. For everyone else, here's my longwinded adventure of icy badness and goodness. Also, Northerners (and my Euro bros too), feel free to laugh at us Southerners and how much we fuck up.

Scored a sweet deal on a second set of OEM takeoff wheels identical to the wheels on my Colorado for < $400 with TPMS for the whole set a few weeks back. Called up my local Discount Tire to see what options they could get me. I was initialy eyeing some Michelin Xi2s because they were relatively cheap and I had good experience with Xi3s on an older Mustang in the past (Xi2s are the newest they make in light truck tires it seems). Asked him if he could get me either some of those or some Blizzaks. I had also noticed that I could get some Hakkapeliitta R2 SUVs for a few hundred bucks more, but I was mostly eyeing the Michelins. Well, neither the Xi2s or Blizzaks were in stock where he could get them quickly in my size. He was able to get the Nokians though, so I said fuck it, I'll try these out and see if they really live up to the hype.

I should also point out that I live in the Southeast, so no, they're not really "needed", but I'm a tire snob and pretty anal about that stuff, so I wanted them. So anyway, this morning we got our first snowfall. Went into work and the roads were mostly clear, no issues. Went to lunch later on in the day and was able to take completely iced over backroads with no issues and not even a hint of wheelspin. This was where they first paid for themselves as I was going down the road, a woman trying to stop at a stop sign slid out into the road in front of me, but I was able to easily stop without sliding and she was able to continue on in front of me and hopefully make it where she was going.

Got let out of work a bit early to beat rush hour traffic. The main roads in the city were mostly clear by this time (snow had stopped and salt was doing its job). As I got out near my burbs though, the ice sheets returned. This is where I knew they would get their real test, as the area leading to my neighborhood has two routes into it, both are full of hills and shaded areas that never get salt or plowing quickly. While I was on a long straight stretch in this area where no cars were around, I also decided to do a braking test, just to see exactly where the limit on these tires was exactly. I was happy to see that even doing 30ish on ice, I was able to brake quickly with only a little initial sliding, then grip and a very quick stop, all things considered.

I got to the bottom of the major hill in the area when I realized shit had hit the fan. Tons of cars off in the ditch. I wasn't phased though, and at this point I decided welp, time to throw it in 4-high, just in case, and slowly creep up this hill. Crept up at about 5 MPH, and this is where it got interesting. Seeing all the cars off the road, I was amazed a bit and broke my rule of no fucking with the phone while driving for a second and quickly fired up the video camera on my S7 to record the chaos (while still paying complete attention to the road of course). Sorry r/cars, please don't crucify me for that lapse in judgement like my local subreddit did, since trust me, it didn't really affect what followed. Well, a little ways up the hill I see a black Tahoe coming down the hill and there's not room for both of us. I toss my phone off into the passenger seat while saying "oh shit" and grab the wheel with both hands and hustle into a gap on the side of the road in between a stuck Escape and a stuck Rogue. Phew, I'm safely out of this dude's way and can just stop here and wait for him to pass. Well, a few seconds later he passes by, except he's sliding and fishtailing down the hill. As he passes me, he grazes my backend. Oh fuck. After I brief initial shock, I throw the truck in park and hop out to try and see if the guy stops. Well, he wasn't stopping and was already far down the hill at this point. I was initially going to walk down the hill but I took a few steps on the solid ice before starting to slide and caught myself on my truck bed. Yup, this hill is slick as fuck, and my Nokians are a safer bet than my dress shoes right now. I exchanged a brief conversation with the guy in the Escape who saw the whole thing happen, and then decided I would climb the rest of the way up the hill, get to my neighborhood where the road is wider, turn around, and go back down the hill to try and find the dude who hit me. I did this, had no issue getting up the hill or back down. At the bottom of the hill a couple stopped me and said they saw the guy hit me from down below, but he just kept going past them and they didn't get his plates. Bummer. One of them was a former cop and was very happy to be a witness for me, so I took down his info in case I needed to get in touch with him. Then I trekked onward a ways to see if I could find the black Tahoe. No dice, it had disappeared.

At this point I'm like well, I better at least call this in and report it as a hit and run. I called the non-emergency number and of course got an automated "we're experiencing high call volume, please hold or call back later". Obviously they had more important shit to deal with all over the city and I would be pretty low on that totem pole. So I started making my way back home. I looped around to take the other route into my neighborhood (also full of icy hills). Before the hills I get flagged down by someone going the other way. They adamantly tell me not to try to make it that way, I can't make it, etc. I assure them that I'm not worried about myself or my truck, and ask them if the road is just slick, or if it's actually blocked. They weren't sure, so I give them a thanks and decide to continue on. Well, I get to the first hill in this area, and it's Shitshow Part 2. Cars off in the ditches everywhere. The first car off in the ditch (a Chrysler minvan) flags me down and tells me to not try and go farther. I reassure him that I can make it, I explain that I'm running very good winter tires and being very careful, etc. So then he changes his tone and says "ok, well can you tow me out then?" Ugh, I'm not equipped for this. I told him "Well, I would, but I don't have a tow strap, so I can't get you out." His response? "Oh, I've got one in the back."

I'm secretly thinking "well fuck, I want to help this guy, but I don't want to break anything on my truck or his minivan". Hmm. Fuck it, I'm helping this guy. I tried to get out of the truck and help but was sliding all over the fucking place in my dress shoes, where this guy clearly had better shoes on for ice, so I let him hook up his tow strap to one of my front tow hooks (also nervous as fuck cause I'm not sure if I should tow him out in reverse or turn around and hook him up to my hitch somehow). The he hooks it somewhere to the frame of his minivan. We both get back in our vehicles. OK, moment of truth. I pop it in 4-low and yell out to the other bystander to relay to him that I'm about to start pulling. We're both ready, and I start slowly giving her gas. Holy shit, these Nokians are gripping! I'm sitting on solid ice, pointed downhill, and these things are gripping while I slowly pull this minivan out of the ditch. I proceed to pull him to the top of the hill and we both stop (I'll admit I was super nervous about him sliding into me cause his tow strap was kinda short, so I absolutely wasn't going past the crest of the hill with him). We had a quick high-five, "fuck yeah!" moment and start chatting a bit. We realize we both live on the same street and are just a few houses away. He's some sort of artist and was on his way to deliver a painting to a client today when he got stuck. He hopped in his minivan and continued on his way after that. I assume he made it to the interstate just fine, as it's near there and I got him over the last obstacle. I hope he made it to his client's and back home safe. I'll probably swing by his house and check on him this weekend once the ice clears out. I felt awesome after this whole episode and it made me almost completely forget about the sideswipe earlier.

So after getting him loose, I continued on home past more stuck cars. I wanted to help them, but I had no towing equipment of my own to help them with. There was also a lady there with a Jeep pulling people out with her winch, so I didn't feel like I was abandoning all these people. I was also super nervous about pressing my luck by staying out there any longer.

So I got home, and it was time to assess the damage from the sideswipe earlier. I cleaned the side of my truck off to where I could see past all the salt and general icy, dirty mess. It looks like mostly paint transfer. I bust out the quick dealer and take care of the majority of it. At this point my hands are getting cold and I decide the rest can wait till a warmer day. I'm pretty sure all but one spot is just paint transfer that I can clean off and polish out the tougher spots. There is one small spot I may need a little touchup paint on, but I can probably touch it up and wet sand it and make it look mostly good enough. Part of my mindset in getting this truck a year and a half ago was "I want something I can keep for a long time that can take a beating and do the dirty work when weather gets bad so that my nice car is protected". Well, it did that job today for sure, and Nokian made a customer for life. I'm still a bit bummed that a dude would scrape against my truck and then run off, but eh, Lady Karma will have her day with him if she deems it necessary.

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