#sorry for the very specific comparison amxmsmmxm

[qpp-townie]

I think part of what people struggle with when hearing a term like Queerplatonic Relationship is that it doesn’t fit into one of the boxes they already have set up for how the world works and so rather than make room for it, they try to shove it where it doesn’t belong or argue that it actually shouldn’t exist.

It is a term trying to convey information. It is not a trick or delusion or oversight on my part.

If I introduce you to someone and say ‘we are in a relationship’ most people (in the US at least) will default to thinking that means a romantic relationship which involved dating and now being a monogamous couple with sex, seeking marriage. Maybe not with that much detail, but that one word CAN carry a lot of implications that some would like to avoid from the start.

So i’d rather say ‘we are in a queer platonic relationship’ because that immediately tells you more information. It is a queer relationship and it is based on more platonic feelings (which doesn’t mean it is entirely platonic, but that’s an important part of it). It also tells you that these people have talked about their relationship and agree on this label, which should just NEVER be up for debate. If someone asks your opinion on a label that’s different, but same way you don’t get to decide who is queer or tell others what their feelings are, we are calling ourselves this for a reason.

But here’s the thing, saying that we are a QPR does not tell you the whole story! Same way saying you are dating, together with, married to, etc. someone, does not give you the full context of a relationship! Someone can say they are married, but later specify it is an asexual romantic relationship. Someone can say they dating and that can mean they are exclusive or seeking other partners. There are similar things qprs “typically” exhibit (but don’t have to), like closeness, living together, and no expectations of having to woo or romance the other person. But it is a broad term meant to encapsulate many types of relationships that fall outside the norm of building a nuclear family and amatonormative (romantic love is the most important kind of love) societal standards (which is not a universal standard for human relations, if there is a word in a different language/culture that fits better then that is of course okay!)

And I hope this can be a lesson about interacting with queer people/ people different from you in general, but rather than saying ‘that sounds like this thing/ that sounds fake/ I don’t want to call it that cause I’m used to this other thing/ i’m used to these boxes and just going to put you in one based on what you said’ just say:

‘cool! I’m not familiar with that, can you explain more?’ or even just ‘okay!’

#Writing the last bit also reminded me of #People saying the African dish Fufu is ‘like mochi’ #like it comes from a good place #of trying to give quick information #but if you call it African mochi #you are just ignoring what people are saying about their own food #even specifying what you are comparing is better #fufu has a chewy light texture similar to mochi #sorry for the very specific comparison amxmsmmxm #qpp #qpr #platonic yearning #qpp yearning #qpp positivity #queerplatonic #queerplatonic relationship #queerplatonic partner #queerplatonic positivity