#sorry for angst in some parts.. was listening to my sad girl playlist (mitski + others) while writing 😢😢😢 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

akucat · 2 years

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i love you, haven’t i always? where various bungou stray dogs characters react to you saying that you love them for the first time

❥ note: PLEASE NOTE there are manga spoilers in tachiharas part (which also happens to be my fav part, listened to a pearl by mitski while writing it... you can do the math), also ik this is such a weird collection of characters (kinda?) but i thought welp if im writing this for myself i might as well write my fav characters ! enjoy <3

❥ pairings: chuuya dazai nikolai tachihara fyodor tecchou x reader (separately)

chuuya

he feels like the luckiest man in the world, he finally understands all those cheesy proposal speeches

it happens as you’re cleaning up some of his small wounds, a scrape here and there after his job

“you should really take more care of yourself, chuuya,” you say, dabbing away the dried blood on his forehead (to be honest you weren’t even sure if it was his)

“i could say the same for you, you know, too busy cleaning up my mess when you should be focusing on yourself”

“oh hush, i’d much rather spend time tending to the man i love than doing paperwork for mori”

you were expecting a witty remark, but instead he went silent, removing your gaze from your delicate work to watch his mouth form an ‘o’

your cheeks went red as you finally registered the words that came out of your mouth, but chuuya was quick to calm your worries

“took you long enough,” there was the snarky remark he probably could’ve pulled off the nonchalant act if he didn’t have the biggest shit-eating grin, eyes glistening with awe

“i’m taking it back, lose the ego”

“im kidding! i love you too!”

he may be damned wasting his life away to the port mafia, being abandoned by those he cared for, but he was pretty certain loving you was going to make up for it, he knew it would

it was hard to finish cleaning the rest of his wounds when all he wanted to do was kiss you a million times over

dazai

his first initial thought was that you were lying to him

hes been used his whole life, he really just thinks youre playing with him

was this a prank chuuya put you up to? he doesn’t rly think its funny :[

but he watches as your eyes quiver with uncertainty- why would you be nervous over such a silly prank?

“ah you don’t have to say it back dazai! i just wanted to tell you..!” youre playing with your hands in your lap and then it hits him

youre not like those horrible people who used him, you’re his darling partner and you love him

he feels his heart shatter and he can’t tell if it’s because of his initial reaction - believing you would ever want to cause him harm - or because he’s overwhelmed with so many emotions that he just can’t contain them

you’re nearly as shocked as he is as you watch him wipe way the tears under his eyes, and you’re quick to apologise, you weren’t expecting him to be so upset over your confession

“oh belladonna don’t worry about me! i love you too, my darling”

he swears he can feel his heart slowly heal all its cracks and bruises as youre smiling the prettiest smile he’s ever seen, moving to kiss his tears away

tachihara

he doesn’t want to believe it at first

it’s not that he doesn’t trust you, it’s just that his work is dangerous and accepting his feelings about you would end up only causing you harm, in reality he should’ve pushed you away ages ago

but that’s exactly the problem, he was too selfish to push you away, and here you are, in his shitty apartment with that goddamn bandaid over his nose and you had finally told him those words

he doesn’t know how to feel- he feels guilty because of course you feel this way, he has been leading you on for months knowing full well that commitment wasn’t possible on his behalf, but he also hates that you’re telling him when hes like this - this isn’t him, this is mafioso tachihara, this is hunting dogs tachihara simply acting a part, a part of a greater, grander scheme that is supposed to result in the downfall of the port mafia; the downfall of you

he wishes you could’ve told him when he was simply just tachihara; before he joined the hunting dogs, before he joined the port mafia as a mole, before his brother died, but to be honest he wasn’t entirely sure that you’d tell him those few words - i love you, tachihara - if he was still that version of himself

so instead he decides that he’s going to be selfish just once more; the world had taken so much from him, surely it would be okay to take something for himself just this once

he closes the gap between your figures, resting his forehead on yours as he swallows his emotions, his regrets and burdens

“i love you too, y/n”

the world could take everything from him, but he would never let it take you

nikolai

he’s ecstatic, you’d think he was a teenage boy thats just heard his crush likes him back

“really! you do!?”

he’s grabbed both your hands in his, and you can only smile as you watch him struggle to contain his utter bliss; grinning so hard the corner of his eyes were crinkling, eyes shining with what could only be described as pure adoration

“of course i do, kolya, i love you”

hes just so elated he doesn’t know what do do or say, and you giggle at his reaction because hes so happy and you’re so happy and being in love with him, you think, is the best feeling ever

nikolai eventually decides the only thing he can do is tackle you in an embrace, smothering your face with kisses and he holds you tight in his grasp

his entire life had felt so purposeless, he’d never known what to do with himself, but he truly, finally felt as though he’d found his freedom

you were his freedom, you introduced him to so many colours, so many emotions he hadn’t even known existed before he met you

he’s not the insane, apathetic man everyone had made him out to be, he was nikolai gogol, a man bursting with so many feelings and emotions who’s only reaction was to pepper his lovers face with kiss after kiss after hearing such a beautiful confession that he had completely forgotten to-

“oh right! i love you too, y/n! i love you!”

he was nikolai gogol, the man who had the blessing of loving you

fyodor

it’s like every nerve in his body is telling him: NO, this is a HUGE red flag, abort immediately

and i mean, this is the fyodor dostoevsky we’re talking about, when is he ever wrong?

he know’s he isn’t wrong, either, and that’s whats eating at him

he knows he’s right but he so desperately wants to be wrong, just this once

he knows he cant accept this, no he cant hear you out this once, you’re wrong about all of this, you’re wrong and he’s right

you dont love him

it just isn’t right

but his body seems to be doing the exact opposite of his intentions, and he has absolutely no idea why he feels his cheeks warming up

he has to control himself, because god forbid he go against his intuition, he’s the genius after all-

“fedya...?”

how could he ever say no to you

you’re his everything, his darling, his light in this plagued world, how could he ever possibly hurt you?

he wants to be chased by you, eluded and teased and adored; he wants to drink tea beside you in 10 years while you laugh about the problems you were once so troubled over

he wants to dream of you, keep all of you inside his mind, his physical, personal mind

he wants you

he softly chuckles at your desperate demeanour, how could he be so cruel, keeping you waiting for so long?

he moves his hand to cup your chin, tilting your face upwards to his own

“i love you too, milaya”

you fool he thinks, why couldn’t he just follow his intuition?

tecchou

he short circuits, poor him, you’ve broken him

he literally struggles to conceive a proper thought let alone speak a coherent sentence

“tecchou...?”

“say it again”

“i love you?”

congrats, you’ve killed him

he feels like his heart is beating out of his chest, he’s certain you could even hear it from this distance (he’s so happy jouno wasn’t there, he could not deal with the teasing, not today)

and then something clicks in him and everything comes crashing down at once

you love him you love him you love him he loves you he loves you he loves you

he does what he first thinks to do, pulling you in close by the waist and kissing you and ohmygod you can feel him smiling against the kiss

to be honest you don’t even want to let go to catch your breath, you’re certain you’d be happy dying like this- being kissed to death by your lover, tecchou

he finally lets go of you and you watch as he stares at you for what feels like an eternity- and you don’t complain, how could you?

"i” kiss “love” kiss “you” kiss “so so much” kiss kiss kiss

you’re a blushing mess and youre certain you both look like a bunch of giddy idiots who are so enchanted by the other that all you want to do is kiss forever and ever, and you’re pretty sure tecchou would do exactly that if he could - goddamn humans and their need for oxygen

tecchou always was misunderstood for the most of his life, his special ability certainly didn’t help his case of alienation either, but he was more than happy to catch up on all those years with loving you

he pulls you in for another kiss

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