#so you can block the tag if you cheese and everybody will be happy!! yay!

[catchyhuh]

Hi! could I request a headcanon or something where lupin and the gang fall in love with a cop/detective reader or something? (I just think its a cool/fun concept that I haven't seen any one do yet, also if you can't or don't want to its okay sorry for bothering 😣)

you’re totally fine, don’t worry about it! i wouldn’t put that x readers were fair grounds for asks if i didn’t mean it. so. career incompatible love let’s get into it! oh the homoeroticism of the chase

disclaimer this got more. mental analysis-y for these guys than i um.. really intended I SAID THAT I WOULD TAKE X READER REQS I DID NOT SAY THEY WOULD BE WHAT MOST PEOPLE WOULD EXPECT

lupin:

easily the one who takes to the idea the most. lupin LOVES extra flavor added into his romances, so the conflict of being on opposing sides of the law is like. i mean christ he’s actively seeking out people who want to kill him every day, just being locked up is a nice alternative! so romantic

straight up never considers the potential ramifications of a setup like this because. uh. well it’s never really hurt him in the past! he’s not being selfish about this intentionally or anything, he just can’t imagine why it would be rough on someone else when it’s so easy on him!

to someone like lupin the third, the chase IS love. the idea of constantly being on each other’s tails, knowing the way the other moves and thinks to the smallest step, THAT is romance. that’s caring about someone enough to know them. he loves it

also, it tends to only come in brief, intense bouts. hiding behind a door, secretly coming to see the other to have a quick little dinner in private, thinly veiled flirting (mostly on his end) absence makes the heart grow fonder, and repetition leads to addiction. if anything, outside of, again, trying to murder him, this is the STRONGEST way to his heart

jigen:

took the longest to realize he was developing feelings to begin with/that feelings were being developed towards HIM. it just doesn’t make sense to him. how would he-- how would-- WHY would any of this happen? but there’s only so many times you can do that “touch that lingers a bit too long” thing during a shaky truce without something happening in your brain yknow 

it’s equal parts allure and contention, because unlike lupin, jigen knows all too well what happens when your morals just don’t quite align with your partner’s. he knows WAY WAY WAY too well about how things like this end, and he doesn’t want to spend a meager four months with you just to shatter your heart when the inevitable happens; you won’t change, and he DEFINITELY won’t. and if you would reassess your choices this guy may be fine as hell but he IS a murderer if ANYBODY should compromise it’s HIM

but. again. there’s that draw to it. so jigen does continue seeing you, under the grounds that he’s made it clear from the beginning what he expects to happen. you’ve seen him do this before with dozens of people who just aren’t thieves, so IMAGINE the mental tension when your entire job is STOPPING thieves. this can be a cute, simple, mutually beneficial behind closed doors thing, but he doesn’t expect long term attachment

that… doesn’t mean he doesn’t think about it a lot though. not enough to mention it to YOU of course but there are subtle signs that he’s been mentally working out how this COULD work out. maybe the next time you move you could get a place with a back door hidden a little better out of sight?

fujiko:

at first, it’s kind of just a challenge for her. nothing personal, it just… started impersonal, as a lot of things with her do. it’s not often that fujiko actively enjoys being pursued, and she told herself initially that she was just drawn to you because of talent. the skill! nobody had come for her and her alone and actually come so close!

but as you imagine, as is always the case, she does fall in love. not until she realizes that YOU are in love, first, however. she hadn’t even considered it a real possibility until that moment, and then she considered it WAYYYY WAYYY TOO MUCH and guess what! now you’re finding special notes with lipstick prints hiding around your desk. how is she even. doing that what?

fujiko is also a bizarre master of hiding in plain sight. she can use her name, her face, everything, almost anywhere without raising eyebrows. so, if you were willing to make a little trip juuuust out of your jurisdiction, nobody would REALLY know you were spending a romantic weekend getaway with your esteemed rival, right?

not that it’s a competition but if it WEEEERE A COMPETITION things go the smoothest with fujiko. isn’t that baffling ISN’T THAT BIZARRE. fujiko’s so used to navigating bizarre unconventional shit that she really isn’t thinking twice about any of this, prepared for any outcome

goemon:

unintentionally gets a bit dramatic about it in his head. he never means for anybody to fall in love with him, but ESPECIALLY not when it could put their LIFE on the line! or at least their career life. their… current way of life. HE FEELS ODDLY GUILTY EITHER WAY

however, as has been proven before, if goemon is truly smitten-- yeah he will throw ALL this shit away ALL OF IT! now, i don’t think he’s AS extreme about it as he used to be, he’s not RENOUNCING his entire way of life like he used to when some pretty stranger made eye contact with him, but if you really, really and truly had him hooked, it… would not be hard to get him to slow down on the whole wanted criminal front. NOT THAT YOU’D WANT THAT FOR HIM EITHER, NECESSARILY, JUST THAT-- LET’S BE HONEST, NOT THAT HARD TO SELL THE GUY

there’s a real pattern here with all these guys, and that is-- they are insane and are completely and utterly drawn in by the simple fact that this is something that should reasonably not be happening. but against all odds, love is stronger, love is unafraid, and above iit all, you two have come together despite conflicting ideals-- or that’s how goemon sees it. i think the other three just really enjoy the “we gotta make out in a broom closet” type deal.

but make no mistake he’s not mad about that either lmao

the funniest/not funniest thing about it is that goemon is going to have what he calls “moments of clarity” where he goes No… I can’t do this to you. we have to split for your sake for your safety. and then a month later he shows up on your doorstep at 3 in the morning like “i simply missed your cooking.” it takes 20 minutes max before he caves and says he loves you again sorry about the moment of clarity ordeal my b

(honestly if you want more normal and not insane hcs just hit me up again because i think i accidentally went toooo much into the nitty gritty of it. sawry)

#ik this isn't everyone's cup of tea so i'm just tagging things like this as #x reader #so you can block the tag if you cheese and everybody will be happy!! yay! #sometimes 'the gang' includes our main man big z in my head but i was like. hm. with the context here i'm assuming they mean the criminals! #so its just criminals. yay! #lupin #jigen #fujiko #goemon #asks