#so if anyone ever hates a chatacter i just assume that character reminds them of someone irl

[fanthirtheen]

I love Stolas and Blitzo’s struggling relationship so much because I relate to Blitzo (and Stolas) in ways I've latched onto. I guess I can see why some people don't like Stolas and his attitude and selfishness and his struggles give them an ick, because ultimately, fiction reflects life. Our favorite characters tend to be people we can project onto or people we wish we had in our lives.

Blitzo doesn't think he can be loved. He makes himself useful so he has some control over the terms in which he is in other people's lives. He doesn't want to be alone, and he doesn't want to be vulnerable enough to chance someone seeing him for what he is and deciding they didn't like it, they didn't like him, and leaving. So he makes himself into something they need, rather than finding someone who wants what he is.

And Stolas wants what he is. Stolas wants him. Stolas's love for Blitzo is an incredibly selfish love, and I understand why so many people don't like that. I can see a lot of people don't like that selfish love, they see real world people they have had bad experiences with in Stolas, and you know, that's what fiction is about.

But I love Stolas and I love Stolitz because I am incredibly satisfied and fulfilled seeing them together. Blitzo needs that selfish love. He needs someone to be selfish about him, to want him unrelated to all the bullshit he hides behind, to want him enough and in such a selfish way they can want him past the bullshit he pulls to push people away.

I've explored that dynamic in other fandoms some, but I cobbled it together from scratch. Not headcannons or anything lime that, just, from writing stories so much I corner myself in a dynamic that feels so right to me and so satisfying. One character doesn't know how to be wanted so they make themselves needed instead. The other character is so tired of being selfless or giving up things they want or not being allowed to have something of their own that when they get attached to the character that commodifies themselves, they decide with their whole heart that THIS is what they want. This person. This will be their first thing they want to keep and they want it selfishly.

And maybe it isn't picture-perfect healthy but it's good for them. The struggle isn't admitting they're in love with each other, the struggle is believing someone sees you for what you are not what you pretend to be to make yourself useful, and they want you so selfishly they will keep you even when you're not breaking yourself to be useful. And in getting what you want for the first time in your entire life and it being better than you ever dreamed.

So I kind of get it when people don't like Stolas. He is a bit selfish. But Blitzo needs him to be selfish, because Stolas’s "selfish" doesn't necessarily mean Blitzo giving anything up except his facade.

When the selfish character wants to keep the other character, not in a "you have to change your life to accommodate me" kind of way but in a "I love your life the way it is don't change I just want to be there with you" sort of way.

#holy shit that got away from me #the point i wanted to make was “we project onto fiction” #and i ended up on a rant about codependency #it took me years to realize i projected onto all my favorite characters #no no you like exploring these character traits because you have them not because theyre neat #i was writing characters that would fit an autism diagnosis years before I even considered it irl #so if anyone ever hates a chatacter i just assume that character reminds them of someone irl #and try not to take it personally if that character they hate is similar to me #especially if the parts they hate are the parts i relate to #context is important