#so i hope that they continue something similar to that w cure wing here. but also if they didnt address it thatd be cool too idrc ITS JUST | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

canyousayinconsistency · 3 years

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Why Can’t I Have Him Back?

I had a craving for a specific scenario and thus I provided it for myself, hope yall enjoy.

Sukuna x Curse! Reader | Angst with a small fluffy scene

Warnings: I made the reader be kinda like a butterfly-ish curse so if you dont like that my bad, blood (not too much)

I’ll probably make a part 2 for this, maybe something smutty if im feeling like it

Ever since Itadori fused with the King of Curses, Sukuna, all of the high ranking Jujutsu Sorcerers have been on edge. Not only from the unexpected development of having someone being able to tame such a monster, but also due to the ungodly amount of spiritual energy that had pulsed across the nation at his arrival. The pressure it released had knocked them back, the feeling sending a shiver down their spine as they realized it had been on par with Sukuna, if not even greater.

Despite feeling this unease, no matter what or where they searched nothing and no one was found. While they had constantly worried about this sudden presence they had current matters to attend to, such as the fact of Gojou Satoru’s sealing.

Itadori had run throughout the station, fighting minor curses here and there before coming to a halt from the presence of Mahito, Geto and Jogo. While Itadori and the other shamans around him prepared for a battle he could only watch in confusion as everyone around him, including the major curses in front of him stiffened and shuddered.

A large gust was felt before a hole in the ceiling broke through, crashing down in between the two feuding parties. From the moonlight, almost in a serene manner, a tall woman floated down, her large wings carrying her to settle atop of the debris. The curses behind her held their breath, the sorcerers in front of her tense at her presence, and Itadori shivered in both fear, yet relief?

The woman before him crouched down slightly, her wings settling behind her as she finally opened her eyes. Her bright (e/c) looked as though it was glowing against her black scleras. If you were to look past her demonic features she was quite a beauty, by all standards. Upon closer inspection they noticed her six arms. Her top and bottom arms were grotesquely stretched out behind her, holding onto something, while her middle arms had their hands clasped together. Just behind those arms on her stomach held dark markings, the same that were on Sukuna’s stomach.

Looking around she made eye contact with everyone in the room, tilting her head to the side her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Turning to face the curses behind her everyone noticed how they kneeled before her, their heads not moving an inch to look up at her. However one curse had been so bold as to walk towards her.

“WhO iS tHiS? WeAk? I aM sTrOnGeR!” The garbled voice laughed at her delicate structure. The cursed lunged at her just as she turned to slowly look at them. Just as they jumped she tilted her head slightly to the side, catching the curse midair. The curses gasped and smiled at her display of strength while the shaman prepared for the worse.

The curse choked and groaned as she stared at it more. She tilted her head the other way, watching as the curse slowly became more and more twisted. Finally she frowned, almost like a child who didn’t like their toy, she shook her head and instantly the body was a twisted mess hitting the floor with a wet plop.

Jogo had let out a small cheer before standing up to applaud her. “Amazing! My La-” He was cut off by a gust of wind as he felt her hand cover his mouth. No one moved, too astonished by her sudden movement, it was as though she teleported.

“Shh…”

He shook under her grip, however her delicate hand gently left him, dropping him to the ground as he tried to gather himself. Sharply turning her head her voice was barely above a whisper as she looked at Itadori.

“Sukuna…?”

In an instant she was in front of the boy who could only watch in fear as she held his head in her hands. Despite her delicate frame her body dwarfed his in size. Once again she whispered her King’s name, her hand gently stroking the marks under Itadori’s eyes.

“What happened? My Sukuna...you’re not him, but you have him…?”

Her eyebrows furrowed, causing the shamans to jump into action in fear of the fate that Itadori would face, much like the curse from before. However just as they jumped, she held out her hands, catching them in mid air as she continued to look deep into Itadori’s eyes. No. She seems to look through him.

“M-My Sukuna...give him back to me…”

She whimpered causing everyone to look shocked. Such a fearsome curse was crying. Large black tears rolled down her cheeks as she sobbed, begging for her King to come back. Itadori flinched as a voice echoed in his head.

“Switch with me.”

He fought back, however it was as though Sukuna was fighting back with a different kind of strength. As she continued to cry she felt a warm palm come to rest against her face, wiping her tears in a way that held such warmth and familiarity.

“Don’t...cry…”

On the side of Itadori’s cheek was a second mouth which held the voice the woman had wanted to hear for so long. Dropping the shaman to the ground she grabbed his head once more to stare at the mouth of her lover.

“Sukuna…! S-Sukuna…”

She sobbed quietly, holding Itadori to her chest. Despite being a curse with such monstrous strength, she held him so gently. Her scent felt familiar, yet it shouldn’t have. Bulking, Itadori shoved her back as he coughed up blood, his throat felt as though it were burning.

It was then everyone noticed the light (colour) pollen that seemed to flutter off of her wings. The many shamans around her covered their mouths, some already falling to the poison as well. The curses behind her seemed to be unaffected, however some of the lesser curses with them started to look uneasy.

Falling to his knees Itadori grabbed onto his throat, he felt his consciousness fading away slightly before it all went black. Steadily he stood up, now on his face were four bright red eyes that stared up to the woman, the markings on his face slowly turning opaque.

“It’s been a while, hasn't it (y/n)?”

With a gasp the woman lunged at him, engulfing him in her arms. Had this been 1000 years ago she would have been dwarfed by him, but now it was she who held him. She cried out his name, her whimpers of missing him and of how scared she was being heard by all.

“They took you away from me! How long has it been? I’ve only been awake for a few months.”

She stated causing all the remaining shamans to look alarmed. She had been the large awakening they felt those many moons ago.

“Months? Heh, it’s been much longer, my love. It’s been a thousand years since I’ve returned.”

(y/n) gasped once more, shocked at how long it’s been. However, curses and shaman alike were surprised by his words. His love?

“I-I’m sorry...I should have found you sooner...I-I had to conserve my energy b-because-”

A small cooing sound echoed in the room as Sukuna looked up at her in shock. Pulling away from him, the arms that had been stretched behind her moved in front of her. Within her arms held a small bundle, pulling down the cloth slightly Sukuna gasped at the sight before him.

A small boy, only a few months old, gazed at him with strikingly similar red eyes with a black sclera. The baby’s scrunched face gave way to the marks underneath his eyes and down his chubby cheeks. A small hand pushed its way through the buddle which (y/n) quickly held onto, gently rubbing her thumb back and forth the baby’s hand.

“Susumu...say hi to, Papa.”

The woman cooed softly, however it was quickly ruined by the rushing of backup shaman, rushing to the scene and immediately firing off their attacks, all aimed at the woman and the bundle in her hands.

Without hesitation Sukuna blocked their attacks, drawing the two of them close to him before releasing his own attack to knock them all back. As the dust settled a small voice cried as a mother hushed her child but to no avail.

Turning to face his child Sukuna looked down at him owlishly. With a small smile the woman handed the crying child over to his father who held him so gently in his own arms.

“Hello little one, quite the charmer aren’t you.”

He snickered at the almost toothless grin he received. Sukuna wiggled his fingers in front of his son causing the young boy to laugh however the joy was short lived until Sukuna grunted. In a rush he almost dropped their son, however he quickly gave him back to his mother.

“Damn it...No no no!”

He growled in anger before the markings disappeared leaving behind a confused Itadori. The poison had been cured causing his consciousness to return allowing him to take control once more. Hearing the fussing of a child he turned and looked at the shocked woman as she shakily held a child that reached out to him.

Taking a few confusing steps back the baby frowned before letting out a loud cry, however this time it was different. The loud cry let out a shockwave knocking back everyone and everything, except for his mother who looked down at the ground, tears pooling in her eyes once more.

She aimlessly tried to soothe her child but their cries wouldn’t stop. Using all of her arms she held the baby close to her chest, soothing the child of the shockwave, but not of his tears. Biting her lip (y/n) looked at Itadori with tears in her eyes.

“W-Why? I don’t understand…”

The teenager opened his mouth however the sound of a liquid hitting the floor caused them all to look at the bleeding wound now coming from her chest. Looking down she noticed how her child no longer cried, but had a frown present on his bloody face.

“He’s hungry…”

She murmured to herself before extending her wings to fly once again. Floating over she went to the twitching body of a weakened shaman. Looking down at him her hair stabbed through his chest causing him to let out a guttural choking sound before he paled, he skin wrinkled as though he aged significantly.

“He’s hungry, I have to feed him...Food for Susumu.”

She now hummed looking around at the aray of shamans on the verge of death. Before anyone could breathe her hair stabbed each of them through their chest, each person gagging and gasping before she absorbed their energy. She was moving onto the next row before she felt a presence behind her. Itadori had attempted to punch her away however she easily dodged it. A section of her hair grabbed him by the wrist before holding him in the air.

“Please don’t do that...not while you look like h-him...Not while you look like my husband…”

She whimpered before floating towards the whole she created earlier. Looking back at him with a tearful expression, Itadori felt as though his heart was being taken out of him when she heard her broken sob.

“Why can’t I have him back?”

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #sukuna x reader #sukuna x curse!reader #sukuna #itadori yuji

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annavolovodov · 5 years

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ya girl saw the downton movie and has some Thoughts

if you followed me at all from 2011-2015 then you'll know i am firmly Team Downstairs and did not want this movie to happen, just so you all know what position i'm coming from here.

everything below is gonna be spoilery af. if you haven't seen it yet and want info just hmu. if you have seen it and want to talk about it please message me bc i’m always up for chatting about Downton.

okay but the title sequence with the music building and cresting as we come up over the hills and get our first shot of downton... goosebumps. tbh i don't know shit about film making but i can't fault the technical aspects (costumes, music, cinematography). the impact of the increased budget was felt from the very first second.

for the plot i’m gonna split things by character to make it easier. i’ll probably go to see it again and maybe after that i’ll have some deeper Thoughts but i missed being able to liveblog during the film so enjoy my rambling first reactions.

upstairs peeps

everything with violet was iconic. i'm glad that they didn't neglect her relationship with isobel and ofc maggie and imelda played fantastically off each other. pretty much everyone has already highlighted the scene with violet and mary at the end and it tied things up perfectly between them. violet and mary are so so similar and violet has been pushing for her to inherit since before S1. the movie showed us that mary is basically running the estate even if she doesn't get the the title and i can totally see why violet is confident in the future of downton now. that being said, i don't think violet will actually die. maggie has been talking about leaving since 2012 and fellowes obviously put this in as a get-out clause for her should she want to go, but i reckon they’ll convince her to do more. if carson's palsy can be mysteriously cured, so can violet's conveniently vague illness.

i already knew that robert and cora weren't gonna be in it much, but i wish we could've seen cora finding out what was happening with edith and helping her out. it wouldn't surprise me if there was a deleted scene there cause that whole storyline felt a little disjointed. i completely forgot that cora knew about the pregnancy and was so confused at how the queen foud out about it all. i don't think we got anything in robert and cora's bedroom, or anything with cora/baxter and robert/bates, which would've also been very welcome but i guess they can only fit in so much.

onto mary: this may be an unpopular opinion but god i miss her long hair. yeah i know it wasn't the style of the time but her wig in this one was tragic and they need to fix it. i absolutely love that t*lbot didn't exist for a solid 95% of this movie and mary got her rightful place ruling downton. i wouldn't say i’m the biggest mary fan but her arc felt like one of the more satisfying ones of the movie imo.

as someone who has been firmly #teamedith from day one i am delighted to see my girl happy and successful. literally all her outfits were A+ and not to be gay on main but those scenes of her in her nightclothes getting ready for bed gave me my rights. i’m sad that she seems like she's either given up her magazine or has less of a role in it now based on what they said outside???? she did seem unsatisfied with aspects of her position so hopefully she'll go back to doing some writing and publishing cause that was a good fit for her, and if edith and bertie are “modern” enough to travel without servants surely edith moving away from traditional grand lady duties and back to her magazine that wouldn't be an issue.

the mention of sybil being gone seven years? yeah. thanks for the pain. tom accidentally saving the monarchy on no less than two occasions is the ultimate "congratulations you played yourself" moment but the fact he thought the army had sent someone to check up on him is the level of republican i'm trying to be on. i'm a bit ehhhh on his relationship with lucy, mainly cause i'd rather the screentime given to the newbies had went to established characters. but like sybil/tom was a wholeass epic romantic slowburn spanning several years through a war and across class divisions n shit and meanwhile lucy/tom have known each other for forty eight hours and had three conversations in a hallway so like obviously that’s just gonna pale in comparison????? like it just is???? i guess i don't hate it but it just was a bit unnecessary and the time coulda been spent on better things.

isobel didn't have all that much to do on her own but i appreciated her scenes with violet and i love that she was the one to figure out that lucy was lady whatever's daughter. penelope wilton's facial expressions during some of the exchanges with violet were great. i see lord merton has also undergone a miraculous recovery from his apparently serious anaemia but he also didn't appear much which was a big win for me!

team downstairs aka the ones i turned up to see

as a downstairs supremacist who has watched the screentime distribution in previous fifty two eps of the show, it’s fair to say i had low expectations going in. i expected a grand total of 10 minutes for the servants combined and i think that's why i was unexpectedly happy with what we got. ideally we would've ditched the subplots involving the personal lives of the royals and all the stuff w imelda staunton and her maid but oh well it could’ve been worse and i'll take any breadcrumbs i can get. anyway i'm eagerly awaiting the team downstairs cut of the film one of yall will hopefully make when the dvd comes out. the only part that was far, FAR too upstairs heavy for me was the last sequence of the film after the royals left and i think we would've benefitted from rounding things off with team downstairs after the ball.

so i guess retirement magically cured the palsy carson had, but i guess after matthew’s miraculous recovery anything can happen at downton when it comes to health. Fellowes is getting a free pass for retconning this one cause i cba with more death/loss. mary going to carson for help and him immediately coming to her aid was very sweet. kinda wish we'd find out what he was up to post-Downton (except for his gardening) tho.

i was expected zero carson/hughes content in this movie and yet !!!! and yet!!!!!! we were somewhat well-fed. like carson (incorrectly) thinking he can control the other servants and mrs hughes' "oh that went well charlie, start as you mean to go on" hdjksjs i love them. and the lil scene in their cottage ugh. also we got more of them using their first names and yeah i guess that makes sense given they've been married for a while now but as i said, i had low expectations.

mrs hughes is still like the best person ever but wbk. her vs. the royal housekeeper = iconic. i kinda felt bad for royal whatsherface in some ways because she clearly didn't know who she was up against THE elsie hughes who has vanquished much scarier foes in her time. the other servants were never gonna win that battle.

the 0.5 seconds of baby bates *chef's kiss* perfection. god i am slightly bitter it was only 0.5 seconds given the fuckin multiseason journey leading up to his birth. tbh we should've ditched everything involving the personal lives of the rando new characters and let baby bates have some of that time but fellowes loves upstairs too much to let that happen. the small interaction was adorable though and i'm glad the mention of his name was subtle enough that we can retcon it cause i truly believe anna and bates would've came up with a more creative choice than that. genuinely i'm so curious about their whole living situation and how they cope with a smol child while working full time but i doubt fellowes even considered that so y’know. what can we do. i enjoyed the breadcrumbs but i wanted more.

i did go into this film with the mindset of "something awful will probably happen to anna or bates," cause that's what usually happens in these things but plot twist!!!! we saw them smile on multiple occassions!!!! what a nice change for us all! i swear every time anna bates smiles an angel gains their wings. her scenes with mary were good and i'm happy their friendship made it into the film. you know what else i was happy to see? the EXTREMELY UNDERRATED brotp between anna and baxter. there was a couple of moments with them standing next to each other or talking to each other and it warmed my heart. like yass two of my fave people are friends. it's a big win for me.

i'm sure i read something about brendan being involved in another project which meant he couldn't film too much (i'm curious to whether this impacted the lack of baby bates scenes?) and while it's true that bates didn't have a ton of scenes, i didn't feel like he was absent which was good.

thomas had the best storyline imo. i don't blame him for being angry that mary brought in carson and it was actually very iconic of him to go off in the library like that. i found it hilarious that while everyone else was panicking at downton he went off on gay adventures. i really wish we'd gotten this "thomas makes a gay friend then discovers the village's underground gay scene THEN gets a boyfriend" in the show cause that would've been SO MUCH BETTER than some of the other stuff that got stretched out across the last couple series (like the love quadrangle with daisy/ivy/alfred/jimmy). like, imagine thomas’ movie plot as a series-long arc. the impact. i liked the guy that was his maybe-boyfriend and i hope any continuation keeps that relationship going.

mrs p and daisy continue to be the mother-daughter duo of the century. i thought both of them were supposed to be moving to the farm post-S6 but i suppose that would've meant they wouldn't be in the film hence why it didn't come to fruition. i guess they could all move once daisy and andy get married. mrs patmore didn't get a great deal to do but i still feel like i saw her a fair amount. comrade daisy was awesome and is definitely me when i see any monarchy-related stuff. somewhere over the last few seasons she's developed into one of the most interesting characters in downton and we don't talk about that enough. andy trashing the boiler was immature af but at the same time i feel like it completely makes sense for daisy to take that as a compliment. it’s just such a daisy thing to do?????

now, there is one thing i kinda fucked up here. while i went into the film with low expectations for everyone else, i fully expected baxley to be A Thing because how could i not and boy did i come out looking like boo boo the fool. i guess baxter and molesley have continued the tradition of Agonisingly Long Downstairs Slowburns which would be okay if we were still getting one season per year but is quite frankly rude when we're on rationed content like this. the first half of the film i thought it was gonna be revealed that they were together or something but then that scene at the end implied they're dancing around each other and my god is it frustrating. i would give so much to trade tom and lucy's romantic subplot for a baxter/molesley one but once again i know that's an unrealistic dream.

definitely not enough baxter in general but that one shot of her, anna and mrs hughes standing in the same frame was worth the price of my cinema ticket. still love molesley even tho he's a monarchist.

in terms of the overall downstairs stuff, i'm euphoric at seeing all these people interact with each other again. as we all know, found family is the best trope and since the servants are literally the epitome of that every moment focussed on them is like chicken soup for my weary soul. was the revolution against the royal servants realistic? no. was it realistic for the two people who came up with most of the plot to be the ones who went to jail for doing literally nothing wrong and would therefore want to avoid stuff that could get them in trouble with an all-powerful family? also no! however, seeing downstairs all working together for a common goal is content that appeals directly to me and i am thankful.

shoutout to the last scene which is the best way the movie could've ended it for me. use of first names AND walking home together? thank u fellowes.

tldr; team downstairs fan who was strongly anti-movie, went in with low expectations, was pleasantly surprised. there are a shit ton of things i’d change but i just really loved seeing these characters who all mean so much to me again. obviously the only reason this film happened was for financial reasons rather than a desire to continue the storyline (cause the finale tied things up perfectly imo) but i wish they'd done a two-part miniseries instead to ensure everyone gets some screentime. two ninety minute specials every few years would work much better if everyone wants to keep downton going but i guess that doesn't bring the cash in like a movie does.

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two-faces-story · 7 years

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Two Faces - Chapter 2

His Reasons

Wattpad link in FAQ

It was illogical and unscientific to call this phenomenon evil, or good for that matter. The swings of deep melancholy and mania were uncontrollable and unstoppable, however they were predictable.

How much of this experiment had been to save himself from these swings? How much had become something more? He kept telling himself now that it was to create a better world, but in all likelihood that was no more true than the idea that there was some way to stop this oscillation of moods. And yet, the facts didn’t lie.

There was a chance.

Henry Jekyll sighed deeply and pulled himself a little straighter, adjusting his coat sleeves and collar in the full length mirror before him. He’d be honest at the hearing, tell them all he’d discovered about the salt and the serum, merely hide his motives of erasing his melancholy with some noble goal of making the world kinder. He ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair, it sounded like a lofty, noble goal, and indeed it didn’t make much sense, but he couldn’t outright tell them it was all for himself could he?

Especially not with Carew still at the head of the board.

He donned his top hat, a deep brown with a golden sash, and turned to his desk, gathering papers in an attempt to ease his anxiety. Everything had to be perfect, as always, otherwise the experiment would end today when they denied him. Worry chewed at Henry’s mind as he shut his briefcase with a click. So close to perfection, he just needed time and more tests!

A knock at the door, “Sir! Your cab is here!”

"Thank you Violet,“ he called back, steeling himself. He turned and strode for the door, hesitating with his hand inches from the doorknob as something else nagged at him. He turned his hand over, staring at the deep scars that crossed his palms and ringed his fingers, of course. He turned and plucked the black satin gloves from his desk, slipping them on to hide the scarring.

The knock came again, "Doctor? You are actually awake in there correct?” Henry pulled open the door and smiled, “Of course, it is far too late in the day to be sleeping. The cab is waiting outside yes?”

"Yes sir,“ Poole said with a smile, her bright eyes showing some form of deep relief. Then she frowned, "Doctor, are you feeling well enough to be presenting in front of the Board today? You look tired.”

"I will be fine,“ Jekyll said with a sigh. He waved his hand dismissively, "It’s merely one of those days you understand, where duty calls but the mind refuses. I’ll be quite alright.”

The two began to walk in the general direction of the front door.

"If I recall correctly, you said something similar before Lanyon arrived with you, a sobbing mess, in the coach not three months ago,“ Violet said with a frown. She shrugged, "You know my concern for you is founded purely on the aspect you don’t care enough for yourself at times.”

"You should know then, I’ll be fine,“ Jekyll replied firmly, adjusting his glasses with an air of false confidence. In truth, he was nearly shaking with the fear that he was going to accidentally say something wrong and it would all come out before the Board, his selfishness, his condition, and his reputation as the level headed doctor would vanish.

He could remain, wait for another day, but that alone could damage everything. He had to prove himself today, face Carew again and pretend nothing was wrong. Just like any other day really.

They entered the front room and Poole took Henry by the shoulders, "I’ve known you for at least six years Dr. Jekyll, I will think no less of you if you-”

"Enough!“ Jekyll snapped, brushing her hands from his shoulders. "If I do not go now, all my work will be frozen. I cannot miss this opportunity to, to make history!” Violet Poole paused, conflicted, before sighing, “Very well sir. I wish you the best of luck.”

"Thank you Violet.“

The room was empty of excess decorations and the walls were made of old wood, stained a dark brown. There were two tables, one long and curved with steep backed chairs behind it, the Board’s table. The other was small, a brown desk with a shorter, ordinary looking chair behind it. The floor was tile, its purpose intended to be walked on and stood on, but not looked on. A cold breeze drifted through a single open window that painted the room with pale light from the cloudy day outside, bringing the smell of working London with it.

The hard flooring made Jekyll’s footsteps loud as he paced the room, one hand on his chin and the other behind his back. He was early, they were late, that was all.

Every moment that passed was filled with dread and worry, nightmarish thoughts tugged at his mind, making his logical thoughts foggy and cluttered. Occasionally he muttered something under his breath, his plan, things he was going to say, things he needed to say, all in hopes that this would work.

It had to work.

He heard the rumbling of nearing voices and stopped pacing, standing ramrod straight and looking to the door as they got closer. The first person in the door, a man of wider stature with a thinning hairline and well taken care of mustache, smiled at Jekyll. "Ah! Henry! You made it, early in fact!”

"Good morning to you too Gabriel,“ Henry said with a practiced smile as his friend strode over. They shook hands and Utterson shook his head. "Lad, I hope you’ve brought something good, none of the Board is in good spirits this morning. I worry they’ll turn you down without hesitation if you aren’t careful. How are you?”

"Still in the slump of melancholy,“ Henry replied, shrugging slightly. He pulled his hands from Uttersons and clasped them behind his back, "I am, eager to get back to work however.” Better to distract myself from these thoughts of gloom, he added silently. “Is Lanyon coming? Is he busy?”

"Quite, a number of people were injured in a carriage crash not too blocks away,“ Gabriel explained with a sigh. "He’s setting bones as we speak, and I’m afraid he won’t make it in time.”

"I doubt he’d want to see anyhow, given how mystic he thinks my experiments are,“ Jekyll said a little bitterly. Utterson shook his head, "Is that any way to speak of our good friend?”

"I suppose not. I’m worried this won’t work Gabriel.“

"Henry, trust me, if you can impress the rest of the board, I don’t doubt you’ll be right on track,” Utterson said with a nod, giving Jekyll a reassuring pat on the shoulder before going to take his seat at the table.

Of the six on the Board, Henry only recognized one other. He knew the rest of them by reputation, a stubborn bishop, a generous nurse, a retired military general, and a miserly investor. The Bishop and the Investor were both uninterested in progressive medicines, but the Nurse would be a better target. The General might also recognize the benefit of lessening human cruelty and melancholy, but why would any of them listen to a dreaming chemist of all people?

Especially considering what they knew of Jekyll’s medical record.

Henry shook his head and looked to the sixth member of the Board, the one with the power to ruin everything at the drop of a hat as he had demonstrated before. Sir Danvers Carew, head doctor at St. Luke’s and established psychologist. Almost fifty, his hair was shock white from stress and his face hard from years of work. He wore half circle glasses and always seemed to be looking down his nose at someone in a condescending manner.

Jekyll swallowed hard and stood a little straighter, remembering days of classes at St. Luke’s under Carew’s tutelage, and even earlier days of wrongful internment in the psychiatric wing under Carew’s watchful eye. God what awful times those had been, melancholy so deep nothing could pull him out and mania so wild nothing could stop him, he’d been no greater than the masses of insane within that wing of St. Luke’s.

Because of him.

Jekyll was fortunate enough to have been released, not fortunate enough to be cured.

"Doctor Henry Jekyll,“ Carew said slowly, the old man taking a heavy seat in his chair at the table. "You have returned to us, out of a straight jacket and student’s uniform this time. To propose, what exactly?” His stare was piercing and Henry fought the urge to shudder. Jekyll took a deep breath and began: “Distinguished governors, you are aware that there are two distinct sides to the personality of man…”

It took all of his will for Jekyll not to shy away from Carew’s steely gaze as he explained the purpose of the experiments, remembering to leave out the part about it intending to rid the mind of melancholy and sorrow. Only after he made the purpose clear did he avoid Carew’s eye, instead continuously moving as he explained his methods of experimentation and sources of materials.

He spoke of good and evil, of sorrow and joy, the duality of it all, how one always followed the other in almost a cycle. It was obvious certain chemicals drove people mad, and others pacified them, was it really so impossible that there was some sort of solution that could eliminate the evil, the sorrow and darkness, permanently?

Jekyll paced in front of the desk, gesturing with his hands and making sure he stayed on topic. When he began to explain the results, even bringing one of the mice out of the briefcase as proof, he saw the Board’s eyes grow wide with a mix of alarm, surprise, and curiosity.

There was no doubt about it, he was holding a passive, clean, London sewer rat in his hand, as easily as if it were a trained kitten.

This boosted Henry’s confidence and he continued without falter until he heard the audible gasp that followed when he said: “As much as it pains me to say this, it is clear that there is no way to further my experiment without, a human test subject.”

The Board exchanged concerned looks, Carew didn’t move but to raise his eyebrows a little higher. Jekyll swallowed hard and continued, “With animals, it is only vaguely clear the change that is taking place, w-with a human I would be able to determine exactly what the serum is doing from a perspective that can communicate clearly.”

"You’re not sure what this serum really does?“ asked the Nurse, confused and looking a little alarmed. "Yet, you want to try it on a person? What if it kills them?”

"Then I would take full responsibility for it,“ Henry stated clearly, despite knowing he would do everything in his power to prevent such a thing from happening or becoming known.

"And what about St. Luke’s?” asked the Investor, leaning forward on his hands. “What would become of our reputation if word got out that we gave up one of our patients, people who trusted us, to a dreamer to play around with salt chemicals, that could hypothetically kill someone?” Jekyll couldn’t respond, his mind had become filled with a whirlwind of noise, fragmented thoughts that came out as stutters as he tried to say: “I, I would, you wouldn’t be, responsible.”

"But we would,“ the Investor continued, shrugging. "As far as I see it, your half-theory is treading dangerous ground and I, for one, don’t want to see someone’s death certificate because you have the idea that you can rewrite human nature.”

"I agree,“ the Bishop said, folding his hands. "This, is immoral on it’s own. And beyond that you are trying to play God by tampering with something you barely understand. If man were to have such the power to rewrite how one’s mind functioned, tread carefully Dr. Jekyll.”

"May I assume your votes are, ‘no’ then?“ asked Sir Danvers, glancing over at them as they both rose as if to leave. There was a murmur of agreement before they left without another word to Jekyll, who watched them go with a shattered expression.

"I, believe, that so long as the experiment is conducted ethically with the oversight of another doctor, this experiment could result in bettering the lives of many in the psychiatric ward,” the Nurse said, looking uneasy but also curious.

"I know many who want to rewrite their pasts, their natures,“ the Genera agreed, staring wistfully at the rat perched obediently on Jekyll’s shoulder. "Many who want to move on from what they’ve done but cannot, could this help?”

"I, I should, like to think so. It could, isolate the darkness that follows th-them, and hopefully eventually erase it,“ Henry stammered, wringing his hands. The General and the Nurse shared a look, a nod, and stood in unison.

"We both say, give him the opportunity,” the General said with a firm nod to Sir Danvers. Carew nodded slowly, his eyes returning to stare at Henry. As the two of them left, Utterson spoke up as well. “I, if this were any situation but now, I would vote, but I feel as if I have to much bias in the proposal to make a wise judgement.”

Henry stiffened, of course Gabriel would play neutral, he always did. How could he be someone to rely on if he didn’t bother to take a stand when it mattered?

"That leaves me to decide then,“ Carew mused. He thought for a moment, stood, and picked up his cane from where he’d set it against the table. "Doctor Henry Jekyll, a name I have heard far too many times.” He stood there for a moment in thought, then turned, walking slowly towards the door. Jekyll watched him go, words building at the tip of his tongue but not one of them speaking out. “I’m afraid, doctor, that your experiments will have to be halted. I cast my vote as 'no’. Perhaps, before you request a human test subject, consider the morality of your experiment first. And, of course, your own sanity in the matter.”

And with that, Sir Danvers Carew left.

Henry stood there, frozen and staring at the doorway.

How dare he, how dare he? That stubborn old fool stood in the way of such progress, and the morality of it was an excuse. People died in the psychiatric wing, put there by family who didn’t want to deal with rebellious daughters and emotional sons, innocent and sane only to be driven mad by their treatment. Why could they not spare one to be saved?

If they cared so little, why could one not be taken out?

"Henry?“ Instantly, the red vanished from Jekyll’s vision and he felt himself go slack, his hands relaxing from the fists they’d become. He blinked, then pulled away from Gabriel, turning to swiftly gather his things. The friendly rat on his shoulder scampered onto the table and looked up at him intelligently, curiously, only to be ignored at Jekyll snapped his case close and left in a hurry.

Utterson picked up the rat and hurried after, "Henry! Henry wait!”

"For what?“ snapped Jekyll, glaring at the lawyer as he fell in step beside.

"You forgot something,” Gabriel said, holding up the tiny test subject. Jekyll sighed dejectedly and looked down the hall, “Doesn’t matter, none of it does. I can’t continue without a subject that can communicate the effects of the serum!”

"You should’ve started with that,“ Utterson said, frowning. Henry groaned, "What does it matter! In their eyes I’m a deluded chemist, it matters not what I say, they won’t listen, he won’t listen. And yet, yet I will continue.”

"What? Are you going to body snatch someone off the street and-“

"No no no, with the chemicals themselves, the animals are useless now,” Jekyll snapped. Utterson couldn’t know the plan that was already forming. “Gabriel, I am so close. Soon, soon I will know how to free myself of these shackles, to help others and-”

"So this isn’t about shaping humanity?“

Jekyll hesitated and sighed deeply, "I, it is now, moreso than before. My own selfishness blinded me into thinking I was ready, it is clear I am not. But, I am confident, that if I can rid myself of my own madness, why could I not rid others of their violent ways? Of cruelty and strife?” And make it a lot easier to get things done, he added silently. “Think, think of the possibilities!”

"I think you are forgetting that people are not so easily convinced of what they haven’t seen,“ Gabriel said, shrugging. The two stopped, the doors of the hospital behind them. Again, Utterson offered Jekyll his test rat and again the doctor refused to take it. "I shall set them all free, it doesn’t matter anymore, I don’t care.”

Utterson frowned, “If you care so little for anything of your own creation, would you at least come by my home tonight that Lanyon and I might try our best to make things more bearable?” Jekyll met his gaze, shrugged halfheartedly, and left the hospital of St. Luke’s without another word.

That evening, after a pleasant dinner and conversation in the company of Utterson, his wife, and Lanyon, Jekyll hurriedly excused himself to leave, saying he had work to do. A lie, of course, but he couldn’t stand to be there any longer. The more time he wasted with pleasantries and drinks, the more of the evening slipped away, the less time there was to put the new plan into action.

He had to act soon, before someone stopped him.

As he was gathering his coat to leave, someone tapped his shoulder.

"Tell me old friend, are you feeling well?“ asked Hastie Jacob Lanyon with a smile. Lanyon was but a year younger than Jekyll, they’d gone to university together and become good friends after graduation. He was a charmer, with a steady moral compass, a logical mind, and a gentle face that never seemed to stop smiling. His hair was light and his skin looked eternally sun tanned, and as he spoke to Jekyll, he donned that old blue scarf that he never seemed to be without.

"I am not well Jacob, you know this of me,” Henry answered, putting his top hat and reaching for the door.

"Then it would be best for one to walk you home,“ Jacob said with an honest smile, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder. "Simply to make sure nothing happens, you understand.”

"I understand your concern for me, after my idiotic actions in the past. But you need not treat me like a child,“ Jekyll said, pulling free and opening the door. He strode out and Lanyon rolled his eyes, following swiftly. "Now is that any way to say goodbye?”

"I wasn’t saying goodbye.“

"And therefore I will accompany you home,” Lanyon declared, falling into step beside his friend. “Gabriel told me of what happened today, awful rotten luck that Carew was the one who ended up deciding.”

"Rotten luck, it was his job,“ Jekyll said somberly, putting his hands in his pockets. "It never would’ve worked, I should’ve known. Human test subjects are immoral and I don’t have enough research to justify.”

"Additionally you sound like a dreamer when you talk about it,“ Lanyon said with a smirk. "It’s far fetched, grandiose, and you don’t have a perfectly sane track record.”

"You know I have always been sane Lanyon,“ Henry said. His shoulder slumped, "Again Carew foils me, it’s absurd! It’s, almost, no.”

"Like he’s turned everything against you?“ Jacob asked, raising a brow curiously. "He’s a gentleman and an arse, we know this and we can’t do anything. You must let these things go Henry, they’ll eat you alive!”

"Says the man who took the rats for pets.“

"You turned them into mice, or so you claim. Impossible given I have no idea what or how could do that, but i mean, they were sweet.”

They walked in silence for a while, Lanyon looking about them and Jekyll watching his shoes as they strolled down the wet sidewalk. A cold breeze was already rolling in and the sun had only just set, in not long it would be very cold. Jekyll’s plan rolled around in his head, ideas and concerns mixing in a cocktail of possibility. If it all went well, it wouldn’t matter what had happened earlier today.

"So, how’s the shop doing?“ Lanyon asked, eager to break the silence. Jekyll thought for a moment, recalling recent letters with the woman who now ran the place, "It’s doing well, business is still good as it’s incredibly expensive to afford, well, any professional care. Having someone who, knows the work, knows medicine, is useful for people.”

"You still haven’t gone back to deal with your mother’s things?“

"I’ve told you, my mother’s things went with her to Carew’s. I cannot get them.” Henry sighed and folded his arms, “I only got the violin back because mother specified that it was mine.”

"You miss her,“ Jacob said, reaching out to put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. Jekyll shrugged him off, "Of course I do! What do you take me for? I never even saw her before she died. I-” he faltered, “I could’ve done something.”

"No, you couldn’t have. Not even us doctors can save everyone,“ Jacob sighed, looking above them to the cloudy skies. "You really must try to fight this melancholy Henry, move on from these things, they only serve to anchor you in the past.”

"I’ve tried,“ Henry said, sighing and adjusting his glasses absentmindedly. Lanyon frowned, "With chemicals yes, but you let the memories walk over you like some sort of behemoth and refuse to fight.”

"It’s impossible to fight!“ Jekyll snapped suddenly, turning and glaring at Lanyon. "I, have, tried. It’s, like walking with the weight of the world on your shoulders threatening to crush you. It’s, it’s deep and constant and I can only keep going until it lifts and I’m free for a while. I, I’m just so tired.”

Jacob sighed, familiar to these protests and speeches. He pat Jekyll’s shoulder, “It’ll pass, like it always has. I was trying to be optimistic.”

"It didn’t work,“ Jekyll countered, rolling his eyes.

"Then here’s something that’s pessemistic, your experiment didn’t fly today because it’s absurd,” Lanyon said, nodding. Jekyll sighed, “You’re right, I know you are, but I have to continue.”

"No, you don’t. The Board had valid reasons for what they said, you don’t even know what happens if you stop treatment.“ Lanyon shrugged dramatically, "You don’t even have the side effects and withdrawal symptoms, both of which could kill someone, or you!”

"Back with this.“

"It’s a valid concern with you remember?”

"Vividly.“

Henry stopped walking and turned, mounting the steps to one of the houses, his own. Lanyon stood on the sidewalk, hands in his pockets, watching with a small frown as his friend unlocked the door. Henry hesitated before going in, the words of his plan on the tip of his tongue. They dissolved as he turned, "Goodbye, Dr. Lanyon.”

"Goodnight, Dr. Jekyll,“ Lanyon replied, nodding formally.

#jekyll and hyde #jekyll & hyde #the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde #the strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde #dr. jekyll and mr. hyde #dr jekyll and mr hyde #two faces story #henry jekyll #hastie jacob lanyon #gabriel utterson #violet poole #mod writing #mod art #Two Faces Story

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