#so anyway. im trans and i panickedly came out to her at the audition to explain why im on the male bracket

[little-ajax-56793]

Oog I want to commit murder

#didnt get a part in my high schools musical. which okay. sure #im an alto so i had to audition on the guy bracket. for context #so anyway i didnt even get ensemble but this one freshman (i love him hes so fabulous in every way) got a major-ish part #and after our auditions we cried in a corner together bc i didnt do body languge for the song and just shook and he sang at twice the speed #and ended 5 measures before the accomplishment did #so anyway one of those fuck ups is a teeny bit worse than the other /s #so anyway im super happy for him i love him but now im smelling bullshit #so last play i was one of four understudies #2 of us (me and that freshman actually) were understand bc she couldnt pick between 2 kids and chose the seniors for main actors #the others were there bc they were underclassmen boys and she wanted to make sure that they stayed in theatre #because we ALWAYS need more boys #so anyway. im trans and i panickedly came out to her at the audition to explain why im on the male bracket #but i really dont pass as male and im in theatre class already #so anyway other than me there were 14 boys auditioning (she was celebrating that there were actually a lot of guys for once) #and i just checked the cast list. #there were 14 boys cast. #EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. on the male bracket BUT ME. including people who fucked up the audition really bad. #idk im just. #almost thinking of quitting the theatre class 2nd semester so i can actually get some fucking leverage next year #every single cis guy got cast probably many to make sure wed have guys next year. #im just upset bc SO MANY FRESHMEN got cast #the role i wanted went to a freshman not in theatre #and im a junior so i have 1 goddamn shot left and shes giving roles to 12 year olds over me #literally the only reason i was an understudy last play instead of main cast was because senior overrules junior junior overrules sophomore #etc. #but fuck that principle now i guess! #also every damn person in my theatre class got cast but me so. that class is gonna suck for the rest of the year ig! #mercury mumbles #damn im just. mad. #every single guy and she wont even throw me an ensemble. damn.